Look, when the monkey's paw gives me control of DC Comics, there's gonna be some changes.

First and foremost: Enough with the goddamn rhyming!!

A few years ago, I made clear my disdain for continuing to have Etrigan rhyme, even though he no longer had the rank that required him to rhyme.

Mainly, though, there's the fact that--sorry, esteemed authors--most comic writers seem to be pretty damn terrible at writing in verse.

And then there is this week's Green Lanterns #10, wherein we get the Phantom Ring and the Phantom Lantern and--impossible as it is to believe--yet another riff on the Green Lantern oath:

Greta Rao, will you people just stop already?!?

That's so bad, Alfred Bester is spinning in his grave. (And yes, I'm aware that Bester may not have actually written the first use of "In brightest day..." Regardless, that above doggerel is so bad, all dead writers are spinning in their graves)

Seriously--just knock it off, guys.