Poor Lana and Lois...

...you never had a chance, did you?

BTW, in case you think it's weird that so many humans would have a double in Kandor, what with the Kryptonians being an alien species and all, well...



See, apparently the Kandorians are plotting to take over Metropolis once they're enlarged!!

BTW...Sylvia?!? Everyone else has a nice, standard, hyphenated Kryptonian name...and then there's Sylvia! What gives?

From Lois Lane #78 (1967)

Nightwing and Flamebird are investigating the seemingly impossible locked-room murder of Kor-Am, the man in charge of Kandor's central computer system!!

Investigation reveals that Kor-Am was apparently living well beyond his means...

Well, see, it turns out that Kandorian currency is entirely on the internet (or whatever they called it in 1978 Kandor):

Ahh, Tonzols!!

Well, more investigation reveals Bitcoin Tonzol shenanigans have been going on!



Well, it turns out that Kor-Am was pulling the old "steal the rounding errors off of every transaction and no one will notice" trope.

And it turns out that Gav-Et got greedy, and killed Kor-Am with a thought-transfer helmet, planting a "hypnotic" suggestion in Kor-Am's mind to die when he hears a trigger phrase.

Kandor--hotbed of financial crime and crazy-ass murders!!

From Superman Family #191 (1978)

Nightwing and Flamebird have tracked down the mysterious hooded Crime-Lord, the dude who's behind all of the crime in Kandor!

But his true identity just might surprise you:


No, dopey...not Jor-El...Jur-Ll!!!

That's how you know he's from an alternate dimension--the spelling!!


Oh, yeah, and the "ruler of a criminal empire" part. That's a clue, as well!






Yes, irony is a bitch, even in alternate dimensions.

I will say this--thanks to Marshall Rogers, Jur-Ll dies really well:


Well, that had to hurt.

Someone better get Grant Morrison on the horn quickly, before he finishes Multiversity...

From Superman Family #194(1979)

Clark Kent has been given an assignment by Morgan Edge to come up with a piece on Superman's family tree. And, rather than consult Wikipedia like any other self-respecting journalistic would do for such a cheesy story, he and Supergirl travel to Kandor for some in-depth research.

[Editor's note--at this point in pre-Crisis history, Kandor had been restored to normal size, and relocated to the planet Brigadoon Rokyn, which at regular interval disappears into an "other-dimensional universe." Also, in this universe, Supergirl's father Zor-El  was never the genocidal Cyborg Superman, Kara never became a Red Lantern, and Superman never let the Parasite almost kill Lois Lane so that she would forget his secret identity. Your editor is just sayin'.]

Anyway, Supergirl enemy Zora has been trying to distract our heroes with gimmickry and tricks, so they'd lose track of time and be stranded when Rokyn fades away again.

But no such luck, evil-doer:



I'm willing to bet that none of your fathers created telepathic belt clocks that gave you dual interplanetary times.

Although needing to use three fingers does seem a bit inefficient, Zor-El...and don't ask me what that middle circle on the belt does (movie show times? Google maps? Facebook? Yelp? Telepathic Comixology?)

From Krypton Chronicles #2 (1981)

The trouble--trouble in Kandor City--Trouble with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for Plague!!

Tonight's Friday Night Fights takes us to Kandor, where Superman/Nightwing and Jimmy Olsen/Flamebird have been summoned to help as the bottle city is in the throes of a deadly plague:


Well, that could be a problem...because...


Oh, yeah...it's Olsen Vs. Superman!!



GYMKATA!!!

SPOILER ALERT: Jimmy saves Kandor by blowing it up!! No, really!!

Spacebooger is still shocked from seeing Kal-El get his clock cleaned by Mr. Action...

The unthinkable happens in Superman Family #173 (1975), courtesy of Cary Bates and Kurt Schaffenberger

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why?!? Because, that's why!! Now go and vote!!

Earlier today,we saw that Batman was ready to retire, psychological paralyzed by an inferiority complex triggered when he took one measly bullet during a mission.

Superman's "brilliant" plan--set up a fake crime wave in Kandor, so Batman could solve it and get all better.

Problem--the plan misfired (duh), the menace was real, but Batman found out it was a plan and is now all "I hate you!"


Ouch!!

Now, surprisingly, Kandor turns out to be a lot like Vulcan, in that this advanced scientific society settles their disputes with primitive armed combat rituals:


It turns out that Kandor is not only ripping off classic Star Trek episode Amok Time, but also the Next Generation episode The Icarus Factor, as we start a round of anbo-jyutsu:





Well, Kal-El probably did deserve that...

Anyhoo, as we saw yesterday, Batman goes on to whip Metalloid butt, and apparently, all is forgiven:

So, to summarize: getting shot turns Batman into a giant wuss; lying to a trauma victim, and starting a fake crime spree, is an acceptable and safe treatment for an inferiority complex; beating your best friend at koon-ut-kal-if-fee works wonders for your ego; and everything is re-set to square one at the end.

Oh, Silver Age, don't ever change...

From World's Finest #143 (1964), as reprinted in World's Finest #197 (1970)

You wanna know what gave me nightmares as a kid? This:

I read this tale as a youngling--probably no more than 7 or 8--and for some reason, the Metalloids really did a number on my tiny brain.

Superman and Jimmy Olsen and Batman and Robin are hanging around in Kandor, because, you know, they can, when a crime menace from Krypton's anceint past rears its ugly head:

And these Metalloids kick the living crap out of powerless Kal-El!

The Dynamic Duo consult some Kyptonian history tapes to better understand the Metalloid menace:

That's all Batman needs!! They track the Metalloids to their lair, and realize that the only way to win is to display Bruce's manly yet hairless torso:




One down!! But...


Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Which Robin does, off-panel (boo!), and it's game over.

I'm not sure what it is about Curt Swan and Sheldon Moldoff's work here, but those Metalloids scared the crap out of Lil' snell. Especially when Batman, and especially especially Robin, transformed themselves. Brrrrr.....

Of course, those bracelets no doubt still exist, somewhere...

From World's Finest #143 (1964), as reprinted in World's Finest #197 (1970)