Long story short--Odin has come to Midgard to have a chat with Thor. Loki has taken the opportunity to try and murder Thor and Odin:

Well, it's battle royale time (see this morning's earlier post), but it's far too intense for we mere mortals to witness. So:


OK, Odin, that was an awesome feat, indeed!

And after the fight is over [SPOILER ALERT: Thor and Odin won], it's back to normal!

So, if you're feeling out of sorts this morning, like you've awoken in a world you never made, well, it's probably because Odin once again froze time and teleported us all to another dimension for godly reasons!

From Journey Into Mystery #104 (1964)

Some folks just never learn.

Odin has gone to Earth to convince Thor to give up his girlfriend, Jane Foster. But, like the idjit he is, he left Loki in charge, and gave him a "portion" of his power, so Loki could defend Asgard while he was walkabout.

Surprise, surprise-- Loki uses the power to try and kill Odin and Thor:


Surtur? Yeah, he's bad news. But how bad?




So, that's the cause of your melting icecaps right there.

Fortunately, Thor has a cure!






Yup, Surtur will surely never menace anyone ever again!!

Until the current administration pulls out of the Asgard Accords, of course...

From Journey Into Mystery #104 (1964)

Everybody hates their insurance company. Paperwork, finding in network doctors, pre-existing this and specialist that.

But let me tell you--we've got it pretty good compare to Asgard's health care system!

Jane Foster is dying, and in between bouts of being an asshole, Odin has deigned to help heal her!


Well, nobody trusts Loki, so...

So, Balder just has to go to Hardol the Healer, and everything will be cool, right?

But...

Swamps Of Endless Flames?!?




You have to kill a "phantom from another universe"?!?


Forest of Eternal Nightmare Plants?!?!


An uncrossable Valley of Swords?!?

A Valley of Avalanches?!?!

Jeez, and you thought having to fill out a couple of forms from your HR department was a pain in the ass!!!

But, it all worked out in the end. And, honestly, Odincare has the coolest drug delivery system EVER!



Woo hoo!!

So, next time you're in line at the pharmacy or stressing over insurance payments, remember--at least you don't have to travel through the Forest of Eternal Nightmare Plants!! (At least until Trumpcare takes effect...)

From Journey Into Mystery #111 (1964)

When it comes to Friday Night Fights, go big or go home.

So let's go big--universe ending big!!

Surtur just needs to put his bigass magic sword into Asgard's Eternal Flame, and he can destroy the Nine Worlds (sorry, Angelica fans, there was no Tenth World back then...).

Fortunately, the Odin clan was there:

Oh, it is on!!








BAAROOUM!!!

Spacebooger urges you not to worry; Odin came back fairly quickly!!

Mythic Madness from Thor #353 (1985), by Walt Simonson

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why?! BAAROOUM!!! That's why!! So go and vote!!

And then there was that time that Thor had his butt kicked by...well, by Thor!

See, Thor accidentally brought a TV news crew to Asgard so they could film a documentary.

See, they hid inside an evil computer. No, really. Long story.

You'd have thought that Odin would have brought out the whipping stick, but everyone got distracted when Loki arranged for Balder to be killed by a mistletoe arrow. Yup, it's Ragnarok!!

Meanwhile, the news crew's cameraman, Roger "Red" Norvell, developed quite a crush on Sif. Of course, it was unrequited, because her boyfriend was the God of Thunder.

Well, out of the goodness of his heart, Loki decided to help Red compete for Sif's hand on a more level playing field:



But Red is thinking with his loins, so no matter how wacky it seems...


And the result of the belt and the gloves and the fire is...

And you wouldn't think so, but ersatz Thor is just as tough as real Thor:



Nay, tougher!!







Well, Sif agrees to take off with Red, in exchange for his sparing Thor's life. But the beauteous Asgardian manages to convince Red that if Ragnarok comes and there's no Thor to protect the Realm Eternal, their honeymoon will be quite short lived.

So, with a classic heel-turn, Red comes back to help clobber the Midgard Serpent!



Noble, but the result is that Red, well...dies?

And so...

The forces of Asgard, led by the original Thor, go on to actually win Ragnarok!! How is that possible?!?

See, Odin decided to create a "false" Ragnarok, to fool the forces of evil, and set them back many years with a devastating loss in what turned out not to be the "final battle" after all. So he arranged Balder's death (he got better), arranged for a false Thor to die, etc.

What a dick.

As to Red becoming Thor? It turns out that years earlier, Odin had imbued the belt, gloves and flames with the "essence" of Thor, an energy duplicate that Asgard could call on in emergencies if Thor was stuck in traffic on Midgard or something. So, using those items turned Red into an actual Thor, not just a fake Thor!!

Well, at a much later date, Odin resurrected Red, and gave him his own hammer, so for awhile he could become Asgard's protector while Thor stayed on Earth.

Then, when Thor was off in Image-land during Heroes Reborn, Red/Thor helped find the "Lost Gods" and stopped Seth from conquering Asgard. Red hung around for a bit after Heroes Return, but he kind of vanished at the end of The Dark Gods story, and hasn't been heard from again. There's no clue if he was resurrected along with the rest of the Asgardians post-Disassembled. It's been well over a decade since he's had an appearance...

So, the takeaway? Odin is a dickweed, and we've got a potential boyfriend/rival for Jane Foster-Thor!!

From Thor #273-278 (1982)