Most people don't realize the coolest thing about being the publisher of The Daily Bugle...


You get to go booming around town in the Bugle-Mobile!!



Delay justice! Help criminals escape! There's no limit to someone can accomplish when they have...The Bugle-Mobile!!

From Amazing Spider-Man #70 (1969)!

Scene: all of the underworld is after some crazy ancient tablet. [SPOILER ALERT: It contains some alchemical  Fountain Of Youth formula that crime boss Silvermane wants.]

Spider-Man stops the Kingpin from stealing it, but the captured Fisk pretends that Spidey was his partner in the crime, so of course now all the police are after Web-head! Plus, student protesters who were demonstrating outside the building at the time are blamed for being complicit in the theft. Plus plus, J. Jonah Jameson gets into the middle of the mess, allowing the Kingpin to escape, getting into a screaming match with the Wallcrawler, and passing out from shock/exhaustion.

Whew...whoever said that this wasn't the Mighty Marvel Age of non-decompression?!?

Anyway, Robbie Robertson is running the Daily Bugle while JJJ is in the hospital, and Peter Parker just happens to have some pictures that resolve a lot of this mess:


See? That was easy!

Ah, but in the hospital, these revelations might be a tad less well-received!




 It *is* about the journalistic ethics!

Oh, Jameson...don't ever change. Do stop being a journalist, because, man, you're the Fox News of your day, brother. But you, personally...don't ever change!

From Amazing Spider-Man #71 (1969)

Not even Marmaduke? Oh, Jonah...

From Amazing Spider-Man #1.4 (2014)

A fancy new crook, Dapper Don Dolan, has come to Keystone City, looking to drain these yokels dry.

But what about the Flash, you ask? Well, Dapper Don has a plan...

Well, Dapper is a little ahead of his time, what with his negative campaigning scheme. But since he can't blanket the airwaves with attack ads, how will he get his message out?

"A certain restaurant"?? Hey, Gardner Fox, since this is a fictional restaurant in a fictional city, why be so coy about the name? It's not like they're going to sue you!! Just make up a name...

So, only one single person stands between my favorite print magazine and the mob suborning its whole contents AND shipping it out? If I had known breaking into publishing was that easy, I might not be blogging right now.

And what, exactly, did Dapper Don send out to the teeming masses? Why, it's a J. Jonah Jameson special!!

Clamor magazine? Isn't that the one that got George Costanza into trouble?

Well, girlfriend Joan brings Jay Garrick the magazine, but...

Too busy to read. Oh, I mourn for our sad culture.

Anyway, Joan narrates the calumny:





Well, that was...special. And it does have all the credibility of a Daily Bugle editorial. The good citizens of Keystone aren't fooled for a nanosecond:

So...Dapper Don's plan is a complete failure, right? Uh, no...because Jay Garrick is no Peter Parker!



Yes, it's true...the Golden Age Flash is so thin-skinned, one unfavorable press piece is enough to make him quit in a huff...


J. Jonah Jameson is soooo jealous...

Given the public reception of super-heroes in the nu52, I guess it's just as well Jay Garrick didn't get translated over to the new continuity, because he would get more than one negative review there, let me tell you...

But at least he has a new hobby:


Awww, they're kinda cute.

Don't worry, kiddies...it only took 32 more pages, a mysterious new mystery man who was really 3 different people, an evil genie, super-hypnotism, 12 unlikely coincidences, 3 cases of villains framing heroes, and an official apology...but Jay Garrick resumed the Flash mantle!! What a hero!

From All-Flash #13 (1944), as reprinted in 100-Page Super Spectacular #22 (1973)