You all know my ridiculous obsession with DC Geography.

Well, this week, Geoff Johns dropped a bombshell. Or a bomb full of manure.

Here's an out of context, spoiler free panel from the pretty damned terrible Doomsday Clock:

Wait now.

So Metropolis is in the state of New York?!?

Now, most people have considered that, since Metropolis has a sea port, it's more likely elsewhere, because unless you place The City Of Tomorrow on Long Island, there's not really any place for a seaport outside of Manhattan.

Of course, if you accept the Busiek Hypothesis, that DC Earth is physically larger than our Earth so it has room for all those extra cities, than maybe there's more room in New York state than we thought.

But wait--look at that ZIP code! 10025 is a Manhattan ZIP code:

And that address!! Yes, 2525 Broadway is an actual Manhattan address, and yes, it is in ZIP code 10025:


What the WHAT? Does that mean Metropolis is New York City? Does New York City even exist in the DC Universe? What the living hell, Geoff Johns???

Well, of course, there are a dozen ways out of this conundrum.

If the Busiek Hypotheis is correct, a different physical scale could easily mean the ZIP codes are different than our Earth. And the address is just a coincidence--a lot of towns have a Broadway street!! So we could have both New York and Metropolis.

Or, Geoff Johns has been doing his damnedest to blame the nu52 on Doctor Manhattan's interfering with the DCU timeline--because why not meta-textually deflect responsibility for the biggest misstep DC ever made onto a fictional character? Anyhoo, maybe it's possible that, in this rejiggered reality, New York City has been replaced/overwritten with Metropolis?

[Bonus mini-rant: This week's issue of Doomsday Clock makes it definite that Dr. Manhattan did indeed actually change history to create the post-Flushpoint DCU-even though the Watchman series made it clear that, as powerful as he was, Dr. M. most certainly did NOT have the power to change history. Different rules of physics in a different universe, or lazy hack work? You decide!!]

Or, the person mailing that envelope--we don't learn who it is--could be deluded or nuts or something, because this series is filled with people who are insane and/or demented and/or are from another reality...so it's all just some big mistake...which the creators chose to do a close-up panel on...?

Oh, well, Doomsday Clock only has 10 more months left to go--TEN MORE MONTHS--so, if there are no more delays, maybe we'll eventually learn...

Panel from Doomsday Clock #7 (2018)

It's just another day in Metropolis, and some thieves are trying to steal...

Man. I thought Metropolis--and DC Earth in general--was supposed to be maybe a little bit more advanced than us.

But they're still having problems with a disease we wiped out 40 years ago? Chalk up one for Earth-Us.

Maybe it was space smallpox? Or Luthor's attempt to mutate a kryptonite-based smallpox to take out Superman got out?? Or...?

From Action Comics #987 (2017)

Poor Lana and Lois...

...you never had a chance, did you?

BTW, in case you think it's weird that so many humans would have a double in Kandor, what with the Kryptonians being an alien species and all, well...



See, apparently the Kandorians are plotting to take over Metropolis once they're enlarged!!

BTW...Sylvia?!? Everyone else has a nice, standard, hyphenated Kryptonian name...and then there's Sylvia! What gives?

From Lois Lane #78 (1967)

If you know me at all, you know I've wasted a ridiculous portion of my adult life trying figure the perplexities of DC Geography, specifically the location of their "extra" cities, and most specifically the locations of Gotham City and Metropolis.

I've studied highway signs, and more highway signs, and pursued many a clue, to no real success.

They're both cities with seaports, they're relatively close...and that's about it. Most people go for Connecticut and New Jersey, but the frighteningly inconsistent informational crumbs DC has tossed out leave most of the northeastern seaboard--anywhere from Massachusetts to Maryland being a possibility.

But sometimes, a piece of information gets unveiled, which, well, changes your entire worldview.

In this week's Batman #21 (don't worry, spoiler free), there's a hockey game playing in the early pages...and the announcers tell us this:


Wait Wait Wait WAIT!!!!!!!!

Both Gotham City and Metropolis are in the WESTERN Conference?!? What the...

Look, I'll be the first to admit that sports conference/division alignments can be a bit less than geographically accurate. Sometimes there's tradition; sometimes there's difficulty to getting teams to agree to switching divisions when one team relocates; sometimes there seems to be no reason. The Dallas Cowboys are in the NFC East because no one wanted to break up their rivalries. For two decades Atlanta and Cincinnati played in baseball's NL West, while Chicago and St. Louis played in the NL East. Go figure.

Still, it be exceptionally rare for one team physically on the east coast to be assigned to play in the Western Conference. Two would be pretty much insane. If for no other reason than the travel burdens on those teams--most of their games would be in their own conference, so their travel time/expenses would be astronomical compared to other teams in the own conference! I'm not saying it couldn't happen...just that (on our Earth, at least), it probably wouldn't happen.

So if Gotham and Metropolis are both seaports AND play in the Western Conference, well...is DC telling us that they're on the West Coast?!?

I know I jokingly toyed with clues in The Dark Knight Rises that sorta could have been taken to imply that Gotham City was in California, but seriously?

For what it's worth, the snow we've seen in both cities probably puts southern California right out of the picture. Northern California? Oregon? Washington?

The bigger question is--are we meant to take this seriously? Have Metropolis and Gotham always been on the west coast? Or just since nu52, or Rebirth, and this is a clue that someone is mucking with reality?

Or maybe it's just a writing/lettering/editing snafu....

Someone is attacking Metropolis, but only Lex Luthor's properties:

Let's not forget Lex-Mobile, FedLex, Jimmy Lex's (freaky fast!), Lex Buy, Toys 'r' Lex, 20th Century Lex, Lex's Warehouse, Lexmart, Abercrombie & Lex, LexPro, T.G.I.Lex...

Feel free to add your own...

From Superwoman #2 (2016)

We've all heard the joke about opening a fortune cookie and finding the fortune inside says, "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!"

Well, even the lamest joke is a life-threatening crisis in Metropolis!

Clark Kent--Big Tipper!!

"HELP! CALL POLICE! HELD CAPTIVE BY ESCAPED CONVICTS!"

Man--just how much mozzarella do these guys use on their pizza?!?

Insert you own jokes below...

From Superman #277 (1974)

Ah, my insane obsession with DC Geography kicks in again...

Everyone has pretty much settled on Kansas as the location of Smallville.

But pre-Crisis? Some folks, including DC, had a different idea.

Check out the map from The New Adventures of Superboy #22 (1981):

Smallville (& Bigville!!) were only a stone's throw away from Metropolis--and Gotham!!

Now, Metropolis and Gotham both have sea ports, which makes it rather unlikely for them to be in the midwest.

Indeed, it looks as if that map is intened to closely resemble real-world Atlantic coast geography:

That would put Gotham City in New Jersey, Metropolis across the Delaware Bay in Delaware...and depending on the scale, Smallville is either in Delaware or Maryland.

This is consistent with the geography that DC was trying to sell us at the time. The Amazing World of DC Comics #14 (1977) straight-up declared Smallville to be in Maryland.

Somewhere along the way that idea changed, and from the Byrne reboot onward, Smallville has been pretty consistently portrayed as being in Kansas--perhaps because that better fit our preconception as the decent stock of farm folk who would raise a super man, not like those East Coast city slickers and their evil ways.

Plus, no doubt, it suited Byrne, who let both Ma and Pa Kent remain alive, to have Metropolis be farther away, metaphorically and in distance, from where Superman operated. Otherwise, there no reason the Kents wouldn't constantly visit Clark (and vice versa) with that cozy distance.

That issue of Superboy also included a map of the entire town of Smallville...click to embiggen:

Given that Scott Snyder had Superman say that Smallville had a population of 36,000 (!), that's an awful lot of people living in each house...

When Lois first tried to get hired at the Daily Planet, Perry White was kind of a dick:

"Sorry, Lois...you got me the Pentagon Papers yesterday, Watergate the day before...but no scoop today? You're trash! Get outta here!"

Well, Lois is up to the task, and she gets the first two scoops. But on Day 3, she runs into a little bit of trouble:


Come on, guys--no jokes about "big bones," OK? This is a family blog.

Only an hour to press? What's the problem, Lois? Just write it up on your tablet, tether it to your cell phone, and...oh, wait. Wrong century.

Ah, but Lois has a plan!

Wait...one more time?

"I'll put that $5 bill in with a note telling the finder to keep it if he rushes the scoop to the Planet!"

5 whole dollars, Lois? Sure, that'll make anyone snap to attention, drop what they're doing, and rush to fulfill your whims!

But you know what? She was right! Never underestimate the "thriftiness" of Metropolis fisherman!

"Hurry, Charlie!! Drop everything, dump our catch, rush in to shore, and then rush to the Daily Planet--then and only then can we can keep this $5 bill!!!"

"Uh, couldn't we just keep the $5, Joe?"

"NO!! Than we wouldn't have actually earned it!!"

Those big city folks are so sweet and honest...

From Lois Lane #17 (1960), as reprinted in Lois Lane #81 (1968)

Well, if there is anything good to come out of the new Superman arc (SPOILER ALERT: there isn't), it might be that the story at least managed to whet my appetite for fictional DC Geography!!

MINOR SPOILERS FOR ACTION COMICS #41 CONTAINED HEREIN.

If you do want to know any of this, come back later. Spoilers commence after the map of the USA:

A mostly-depowered Clark Kent, his identity doxxed, is tooling around America on a motorcycle like a cooler David Banner trying to get away from Jack McGee.

Because traveling the nation on a motorcycle is sooo much better than walking the country. Call this Grounded, the emo-biker-chic version.

Anyhoo, Aaron Kuder gives us a splash page chronicling Kal-El's journey:

Now, the perspective is clearly a bit off, so we're deep into grain-of-salt territory.

But the pair of captions that begin "Feeling my first caffeine rush" are clearly covering Michigan. Which means the "dot" representing Central City is south of the western tip of Lake Superior...

Which, depending on how you're figuring distance and direction on this goofy map, that the Flash's home town is going to be in eastern Iowa/western Illinois/northeastern Missouri.

At the very least, it's a firm rebuke to those who have tried to place Central City in Ohio. As if.

And what about Metropolis?

Well, the lack of detail presented along the east coast makes it pretty difficult to tell. But the tilt of the map suggests that the City Of Tomorrow is slightly northeast of Central City, which would put it in the New Jersey/Delaware area...perhaps even Maryland? Frustratingly hard to tell, but at least it's a little more information...

So, even in a story that presents all humans in the nu52 as selfish, ungrateful xenophobic buttheads who will completely turn on their world's greatest hero the second he's down on his luck, we can still find tidbits on the location of fictional cities.

So who says that I can't find the positive in even the stupidest stories?!?

So Lana blows Pan's flute at Clark, because Metropolis, and...

Later:

Oh, you magic artifacts!!

Well, it's not too tough for Clark Kent to cover up, right? He can wear a jaunty hat...

...or an icebag...

...or just be Mr. Action Skydiving Reporter!

Well, it might be a bit harder for Superman to cover up...although he really doesn't need to!

But Kal-El is vain and all that. Unfortunately, he chooses the worst solution possible:

What?!?

What the hell, Superman? Are you the Composite Batman, or what?


Supes, who cares if he can see the points on your head? C'mon, this is pre-Crisis DC!!

Unfortunately, the Man Of Steel has developed an unhealthy preoccupation because of his new clothes:




Yes, Superman is now obsessed with scaring crooks as much as Batman does!!

It doesn't go too well, though...


And...



So. Either Metropolitan crooks are far more sophisticated than Gotham hoodlums, or that combo costume ain't gonna cut it.

Let's test that, Kal-El, by going au natural:


Well, sure. Duh.

Later, after the magic has worn off, Clark discusses recent events with Bruce:


Waaah wahhhhh!

From Superman #405 (1985)

Back in the good old days, you could tell a man's character by his name:

Alex Evell? Geez, wonder if he's a bad guy or not?

Actually, he's a gangster trying to buy a newspaper so he can use the power of the press to get himself more political power, and generate good cover for his criminal activities. So, yeah, the name fits.

Anyway, by threatening to kill Collum's family, he manages to buy the Morning Pictorial for a bargain price. Look, he's named Evell, right? It's not his fault!!

So, when City Councilman Barnes denounces Evell, the power of the press goes after Barnes:

Peter Fib?!? That's a trustworthy byline!

(By the way, denouncing someone as a rapscallion and saying they topped Baron Munchausen were pretty severe attacks in 1940!)

And when the police start busting some of Evell's gambling and extortion pals, well, the Morning Pictorial is all over it:

I.M. Lyon?? Really? No wonder people mistrust the media!

Of course, Superman took down Evell and his criminal empire, and the Morning Pictorial reverted to Collum's control.

I hope Peter Fib and I.M. Lyon didn't lose their jobs...

From Superman #5 (1940), as reprinted in Superman: The Golden Age Omnibus #1 (2013)