The kid 'heard something' and tells the Priest.

It all ends in the poor Priest being floated in the air and set aflame.
Wondering if the kid survived (and how)?  You have to wait.... a while.

The Film proper follows Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), who's now a Nun.
Is that why this is called The Nun II?

Joking aside, she has visions of Maurice (from the last Film) and is, conveniently enough, sent to investigate the possible return of the Demon where Maurice is.
Oh, and the other Priest from the last Film- he died of cholera between Films.  Oy.

The split narrative follows Maurice- who is possessed, but doesn't know it- and the woman he loves, alongside her kid.

Lots of teasing and a single Nun appearance, where she straight up kills a kid.
Irene is sent on the path of the Demon, who is looking for yet another Religious MacGuffin.  They set it up earlier in very obvious 'this is important' dialog.

What I don't get- why no Priest can stop this demon?
Why can it kill a dozen of them (off-screen)?  Does their God not care?
The Nun pops up another time, but don't get too used to it.

Meanwhile, the Plots eventually intersect as Irene finally realizes that Maurice is possessed and that the MacGuffin is where he is.

This gets us to this long, build-up to a Nun reveal...that no sane person would stay and wait to see it happen!
Can they keep the MacGuffin out of the hands (or face) of the Demon?

Will she show up for more than 5 minutes?

Will the timeline still hold up?

To find out, stream it now...
I don't hate it.  I don't love it.

I guess I'm agnostic.

The Film looks fine.  They used real locations to give it a natural look.
It's not a terrible Plot.  It was funny to see how blatantly they recapped the last Film...with Farmiga mere feet away.

The problem is my usual one with these Wan/Wan-adjacent Films- the Pacing.
The Film kind of meanders along with random jump scares.  For me, the Plot never got all that engaging.

It is not for lack of trying- they threw about 10 Characters into this with a Backstory.

The Film is mostly a series of quick jump scares/Scenes loosely tied together.

I did like the Goat- more of that please.

In closing, I just can't help but think how different things would have been if James Wan had stuck with the original design for the Demon.

Would we have spin-off Films still?

A Film that is decent enough if you're into that kind of thing.  For me, it lacked lots of many variables that will make me come back or even remember it years down the line.

As it is also Women in Horror Month, I might as well give them some love too.  To that end, a threequel with a mostly-Female Cast and Monster...
The Conjuring Timeline continues to get muddier as we see an extended bit from the Scene in the original Conjuring...and then jump to a year after that.

So the 7th Film takes place between the 1st and 2nd?  Is this the Fast & Furious Franchise now...
The Parents leave the Daughter alone with a Babysitter, who, of course, brings her friend over.  Yes, this is the last time they appear for about an hour...

While the young pair are away, the friend falls to temptation and frees Annabelle...
So, here's where the Film gets...odd.

It basically turns into an Anthology Film...only it is happening concurrently in the same House.  

The actions are all disconnected from each other and could easily be shot at different times.

It comes down to The Bride, which is a 'haunted dress' and not the Kill Bill Character...
The Ferryman, a ghost who kills you/steals your soul if you don't have coins...and constantly drops coins...I guess.

This is confusing for several reasons, the least of which that this is NOT the Annabelle Sequel made by the guy behind Lights Out (that was Creation).
The final- main- creature is a Hellhound, who acts like a werewolf and attacks from smoke.

This Film has a $25-30 million Budget and can't afford more than that?  Lame.
Can the Film (and its Leads) get together and survive the night?  Will I continue to find the Doll not scary?  Does anyone read this third thing?

To find out, watch the Film.  I saw it on HBO, but, you know, you do you.
A decent, but underwhelming adventure.  

As noted, this Film's placement in the Series is confusing.  

So, they got Annabelle in one Film and then nothing happened...until this Film said that a bunch of ghosts/demons broke out between Conjuring Films.  

Oh, does that bear no mention?  

What about their Daughter's friends?  

What about any of these artifacts that are apparently notable?  10 years from now, they will have introduced like 7 more Films, 4 more Demons and covered every random moment of their lives.  

At that point, they'll have four more adventures retconned into every few months of their lives and you'll wonder when they ever slept!  

Joking aside, the Film is kind of a weird experiment.  It's an 'Annabelle' Film, but it is mostly about 'Here's this new thing.'  

Besides the ones mentioned, there's also a TV that shows the possible future, a magic typewriter, an evil wind-up monkey (that doesn't do anything), an evil board game and a random suit of Samurai Armor.  

Is this just a 'throw it all out there and see what sticks' thing?  

Will I be watching Magic TV: A Conjuring Film in 2026?  

Also with all of these haunted objects, this is just a setup for all of those Amityville Sequels with evil mirrors, lamps and such, right?  

The Film has an odd pace, but does eventually get somewhere.  Sadly, that somewhere is a series of disjointed adventures that feel like parts cut from some sort of Conjuring Anthology Show. 

 I hear the 2nd Film is actually good, so maybe I shouldn't have skipped that.  

In the meantime, a quick reminder of what the *actual* face of evil is...
A weird, but endearing mess of a Film.  If you are new to Horror, it will thrill.  If you're a jaded viewer, it's just alright.

Alright, let's start the Month off with some successful Horror.  While it has no Clowns, it does feature a Contortionist (and a load of bullshit)...
A pointless Opening reminding you that James Wan will not do an Amityville Horror Film (since there are 8,352 of them).  Thanks.

And yes, it does set up the villain (sort of)- but in a way so confusing that the Director needed to clarify it later!
Over in England (complete with London Montage over 'London Calling!!!'), a House in Enfield is haunted.  Mind you, it seems to be haunted in random intervals and in different ways every time.

Take a shot every time this reminds you of another Haunted House Film.  You'll be wasted by 30 minutes in!
Back in America (sadly without B-Roll of Connecticut and 'America the Beautiful'), Mrs. Warren fears warnings of Ed's death.  This makes her go into what is basically 'The Further,' further muddying up the two Series'.

Make sure you take your ONLY BIBLE with you too.
Thus began the first of many Slender Man knock-offs in Mainstream Film.  This one is at least good.
About an Hour in, the Warrens show up, sent by 'The Church' to verify the Enfield Haunting (not nothing more) around a week after it got famous in the Media.

In real-life, they showed up uninvited about a year after it happened and weren't welcome at first (since they were clearly seeking publicity).  They did stay for 2 days, however, as the Movie shows.
Can the Warrens 'save the day' from a Demon that can't decide what form it wants to be?  Is this just another way to set-up yet another unwanted spin-off?

To find out, watch the Film.
I feel like I was there for as long as the Warrens were!  This Film is 2 hours and 12 minutes with Credits.  This is not necessary.  The Warrens get a B-Plot, the Investigator gets a B-Plot of sorts and everything is just too stretched out.  The Plot of this one doesn't quite connect in a meaningful way.  Somehow the haunting in Enfield was part of a plan to get the Warrens...but also involved trying to get them to leave...or something.  The Demon sometimes controls a ghost (way too similar to the one in Insidious 3), sometimes becomes a Nun and sometimes becomes The Crooked Man...but also sometimes possesses a girl...or the Ghost does...maybe.  Even just trying to explain it in simple terms is not easy.  There's both too much Plot (see before) and not enough Plot (e.c. all the stalling).  As noted, the history of this one is way different than the Film, but that's what happens when you get Lorraine Warren to consult.  No offense, but she really gains for this sort of Cult of Personality built around her and her late Husband.  Doing so by way of a Film is both logical and ridiculous, of course.  The Film is chock full of jump scares, but they are just so played out for me.  Nothing was that interesting or exciting for me.  It is, well, just another James Wan Film.  Since I courted controversy last time by pointing out the disparity between Casting and Reality, why not do it again?
Basically, a lot of the same, only longer and with slightly-less-superfluous filler.  Even so, this thing is way too familiar and way too long.

Are you happy yet, Maynard?  

Today's Film is Annabelle, the corporate-mandated Prequel to The Conjuring.  

Why does it exist?  To make money.  Am I jaded?  Maybe.  

Is James Wan Directing this one?  No.  

In his place, the Director of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and The Butterfly Effect 2.  It clearly isn't a good idea to give him Sequels!  

Are Prequels alright though?  

Does it help if they are only tangentially connected?  

The Film tells the tale of how a Doll became a Doll inexplicably channeling a Demon.  

I hope you like some generic James Wan-style (that's a thing now, right?) Horror.  

To find out if this Film is anything more than a cash grab, read on...
Let's rehash the Intro of The Conjuring to remind you of The Conjuring!  You liked that, right?

Well, here's something unrelated that nobody really requested instead!
This loving Couple is nothing like those folks from Insidious.  After all, they only have one kid (on the way).

Of course, the Husband does work all day, the Wife wanders and Ghosts seem drawn to her (and her alone), but...different enough, I guess.
Foreshadowing the rise of 60's-set Crime Fiction (thanks, NBC!), 2 crazy not-Manson Family Members show up at their home.  The lady- Annabelle- apparently runs into a room, sets up a spirit-channeling mark, cuts her wrists and lays against the wall while holding the doll...

...all within about 45 seconds.  That's some kind of Satanic Record, right?
After the evil spirit starts a popcorn fire that leads to our Heroine giving birth, it then waits 6 months, lets them move, lets them toss out the Doll and then somehow puts it back in their Moving Box.

This Spirit is both precise and very patient (especially considering its end-game!).
Annabelle manages to merge the Ultimately-Useless Spiritualist Character with the Magical Black Person Character in this not-Viola Davis Character.
Holy Insidious, Batman!

...of course, we know that Annabelle ends up with some Nurses and then locked up in a basement of some Ghost Hunters, so...not so much suspense.  The End.
Dolly not-so-dearest.  

This one is kind of like a James Wan, but with even less effort.  Hell, the stuff that Insidious did to be 'different' is just repeated here.  The people leaving the House, but that not getting rid of the Spirit- here.  The Husband believing the Wife- yep.  

So, what's unique here?  Pretty much nothing.  I thought they would keep the wife pregnant throughout the Film, but then they just skip ahead 6 months from the birth.  

What was the point?  

Well, besides ripping off that one Scene from Ghostbusters 2, I mean.  This is pretty much just Paint By Numbers Horror here- nothing more, nothing less.  

The Special Effects are fine, even if the jump scares are right out of Insidious.  You couldn't at least give me the pimp-slapping lady Ghost from Insidious: Chapter 2?!?  

Without SPOILing too much, I will say that I really question the logistics of the big Scene with the Priest.  How does a Spirit of evil hide there again?!?  

On top of that, who or what is the 'person' going around and picking up the Doll?  Why does the creature need to possess someone if it can do so much without a body?  

It is like Green Lantern needing to become Hal Jordan in order to be more powerful.  

Aside from all that, this one is decent...but still pretty pointless.  Is The Conjuring better now that I've watched a different Film that set up nothing?  No.  

Speaking of silly things, how can blood spray as dramatically as it does here without these people have explosive blood pressure?
Next up, I cover the 2nd half of the Death Note Story (in Live Action).  Will the Anime prove to be superior or inferior?  Stay tuned...

Am I ready to possibly offend all of the online Horror Critics out there?  Today's Film is The Conjuring, a 2013 Film by Internet Darling James Wan.  I guess if you make enough Saw Films, we have to like you.  So how does he follow up the Insidious Films?  By basically just kind of making another one- that's how!  I suppose I can't blame the guy, but this isn't exactly a big step forward.  It is still about an evil Spirit (or two) haunting a house with a nice Family in it and some Experts come to help them.  The difference- this one is 'based on a true Story.'  Well, the people's names sure are the same.  This Story involves the Warrens, who are most famous for writing about the so-called Amityville Horror.  Show of hands for who believes any of that Story?  I thought so.  Naturally, I'm a bit skeptical since the idea here is that this big-time 'true Story' happened, but they kept it secret.  Really- the Warrens kept a Story about how they battled Demons secret?  Really?  Another difference here is that Leigh Whannel is nowhere to be seen.  Oh darn, my least Favorite part of the Insidious Films is gone?  Say it ain't so!  Will this oh-so-familiar tale finally be the one to truly impress me or will I continue to say 'Meh?'  To find out (without major SPOILERS, so relax), read on...
The Warrens wrote 6 Books, but they kept this Story 'locked away?'  

Right...
This is the tale of a young family- with 5 daughters- who moves to a new House, but weird stuff starts to happen.

You know the drill- creaking doors, mysterious sounds and the clocks stop.  How original.
The Conjuring would just like to take a minute to remind you of Poltergeist.  That is all.
Lili Taylor- who should be familiar with this after 1999's The Haunting- is targeted by the spirit more overtly than anyone.  Why?
The woman finally calls the Warrens (with their own B-Plot to get this Film to 90 minutes) and they discover that that House is mega-haunted.  It is almost comical the degree that this placed is haunted.
The Conjuring would like to remind you that Annabelle is apparently scary and totally important to this Plot.  It isn't...but it would just like to justify the spin-off that would come next year (and be Directed by the man behind Mortal Kombat: Annihilation).

Hurray for Corporate Synergy over Art!
The Warrens investigate the House and try to find what they can do to cleanse it.  They...

Hey, don't even pretend to go Found Footage on me, Movie!  Not cool.
Things escalate at the House as the Warrens start to get close to the truth.  Mind you, the Comic Relief replacements for Whannell and Angus Sampson are so insufferable that they may be the real target.
 Can the Warrens save the day or does this ghost story have an unhappy Ending?  To find out, watch the Film already.  The End.
I'm sorry, but I don't really get the mega-hype here.  

Don't get me wrong- it isn't a bad Movie.  It has some good moments, is pretty well-acted and has some good (sometimes low-key) Special Effects.  

The problem: it just didn't feel like anything all that special.  I just watched 2 James Wan Films like this.  

Admittedly, the Plot doesn't take ridiculous turns like Insidious: Chapter 2, but it still quite similar.  The differences are really pretty minor and that is kind of disappointing.  

While there are some good visuals here, they aren't all that different from anything you've seen somewhere else.  I suppose you could argue that THIS version of those cliches/Tropes is the best one (but I'm not).  

The Conjuring just didn't do anything unique enough to really 'click' for me.  Bring it on, Internet- I can take it.  

Speaking of which, is it wrong to point out how flattering the Casting of Ed Warren was here?  I mean, do you see the likeness?
Next up, a Film that nobody is going to get bothered by me going after.  I suppose I can't put off this Charles Band Film any longer.  Stay tuned...