She would share her curse.

That girl is now Pirita.
She finds love in Lapland amongst her people (the Sami) and marries a fellow Reindeer Hunter.

See- this is festive as hell, right?
While they are married, he must leave for a long season to follow the group of Reindeer across the vast, snowy countryside.

She gets lonely and desperate, going to a Shaman.

If she sacrifices something (a young reindeer) to the Stone God, she will get her wish.
Unfortunately, like most wishes, there is a big downside.

She is made irresistible to all of the Reindeer Hunters...because she is unwillingly transformed into the titular White Reindeer.

One of them hunts her, but she turns human again and kills him (off-camera).

Later, another tries to shoot her, but his gun blows up in his face.
At first, she doesn't seem to be aware of these transformations.

When she does realize it, she tries to stop them before her Husband goes to hunt her down, lest he die too.

Will she succeed?
To find out, stream it now.
A fun, if dense, tale of Folk Horror.

I'm born and raised in a State that hasn't seen snow in my lifetime.  As such, it is a bit fun to see Movies that are full of nothing but snow.

This one appears to be rooted deeply in local folklore and it gives it a nice charm.

In many ways, this one is ahead of American Films of this era.  A female Horror Character was rarely allowed to kill anyone, let alone men (see Dracula's Daughter).

This one also feels quite similar in its tone to The Wolf Man, a Film so good it is still acting as my mouse pad.

No, it is not like She-Wolf of London- that one didn't actually have a transforming lady.

If you're in the mood for something different and want to see legit Folk Horror, give this one time to simmer and it might just sell you on its beauty.

An engaging and legit Folk Horror Film from the past.  While it is creaky at times and bloodless, it is still quite good.

So how does it relate to this poor Gold Miner just waiting for WWII to end in 1944?
Well, after striking it rich, he goes back home.

Along the way, he's hassled by a bunch of Nazis who plan to rob him.
It ends...poorly for them.

The other group he passed on the way double back and now he's got lots of enemies, including ones with a tank!
In spite of their best efforts, they can't seem to kill him.

Just like, in spite of everyone's best efforts, it's hard not to get a little bit of Fury Road into your Action Films in the last Decade.
Can they take him down?
Is one man enough to survive a small Platoon of history's greatest henchmen?

To find out, stream it now.
A Film that just plain works.

It's a simple tale.  Man meets Nazis.  Man kills Nazis.

What more do you need?

Our Hero is built up nicely, with you seeing that there is clearly more going on with him before the action starts.
He turns out to be as creative as he is unwilling to die.  He doesn't overpower his foes with ease.

The Film is full of visceral gore and violence.  If you heard anything about how violent this can be, they didn't warn you enough.

If you're willing to embrace the whole experience- the mud, the vengeance and the gore-, the Film works very well.

I had legit forgot about this one after its original release and my desire to see it was renewed when I saw it on here.
I'm glad that I did.

Take us out, Japan and, as always, a kick ass cover.

A bloody good time, provided you give it time to build.  It's a mix of John Wick and Rambo in Finland which hits just right.

It is only fitting that a movie about old versus new technology be delayed by current technology.  In spite of my computer issues lately, I found the time to watch a film that has eluded me for awhile.  The film: Iron Sky.  I heard about it awhile ago, but I was not sure what to make of it.  It is a Comedy?  It is a Sci-Fi Film?  It is a floor wax?  Sorry, that joke is probably a bit too old for most of you.  Like many films, Sky existed in the Purgatory that is my Instant Queue/List for a long time.  What brought it out?  The answer: 'Wolfenstein: The New Order.'  The new game's commercials have been accentuated by the lead announcing that he's 'on the f#%@ing moon.'  Nazis on the Moon- I heard that before.  That's not to say that the Stories are 100% similar.  Even so, that is a weird thing to have in common!  As a side-note, I love that Wikipedia has a category called Space Nazis- thanks, Internet.  The film tells the tale of a Nazi Moon Base hidden from history for about 70 years.  When they are discovered by a lone Astronaut, will the Earth be in store for W.W.III?  The movie is quite odd, being a blend of Comedy and Social Commentary...plus Moon Nazis.  Just to note: I watched the recently-released Director's Cut, as opposed to the 2012 release.  To find out my take on this odd creature, read on...
A mission to the Moon goes awry when they discover a Nazi Moon Base.  The faceless Astronaut is killed, but they take the other one hostage because...um, Plot.
 The man turns out to be Celebrity Model James Washington who was sent to the Moon as part of...The President's Re-Election Campaign.  Sure- why not?
The Nazis have an Earthologist- aka an Expert on Earth History since they left- who serves as our Female Lead.  She's dating a power-hungry Colonel, which I'm sure will end well.
This shot tells you two things.  One- Udo Kier is in a rare non-Uwe Boll Film and Two- he has plans for world domination.

Is he Pinky or The Brain?
The discovery of Washington's Cell Phone is a big one and is going to be used to power the Invasion Fleet.  Don't ask me- it is just (intentionally) silly.
Our Lead trio go on a mission to Earth to get more Cell Phones and...I'm not going to SPOIL the explanation for what happened to Washington here.
As alliances shift and the Invasion nears, President Sarah Palin parody explains that the United States is prepared for such an occasion.  We always are.

Don't you dare cite historical precedent at me!
This lady- the President's Campaign Chair- has an interesting Character Arc with the Moon Nazis that I also won't SPOIL.  Considering how stock her Character starts, it is nice progression.
Can the Earth fend off the Moon Nazis?  Do they really plan on coming in peace like they said?  Given this guy's expression, I'd say 'No.'

To find out what happens, watch (either Version of) the movie.  The End.
It is certainly a mixed bag and not going to be everyone's idea of a good time.  There are many people that got their hopes up when they heard about the premise.  Given that the last Nazisploitation- Worst Case Scenario- crapped out before reaching reality, expectations were even higher for this one.  The end result: a fun movie that either succeeds or fails due to its satirical nature.  If you don't find any of this funny, you are going to think about 'what the film could have been.'  If you like the OOT Satire they made, then, well, you'll like it.  All of the pieces in play- Nazis on the Moon, a space battle and Washington's journey- are all interesting.  Are they all executed in my preferred manner?  I'm not in love with all of this, honestly.  I'm not a fan of the use of the Sarah Palin parody- not just here, mind you.  For a while, you used to see it all the time.  It does help explain it when you consider that this film has been in some form of Production since 2006.  At some point, the idea was topical and then wasn't anymore.  That's not to say that the parody is done badly- it is just a bit on the nose to do her.  If you know what you are getting into, you can have a real good time with this one.  It wasn't my absolute favorite, but I could see people in the right mind-set loving every minute of this.  It lead to a Comic Book though, so that's always cool...
Up next, let me cover another World Invasion Tale.  This time, it is aliens attacking England (just with no budget).  Stay tuned...

Christmas Eve comes a year late!  Back in 2010, I featured the film's international trailer and hoped to be able to see it soon.  Well, it's just over a year later...so, yea?  In all seriousness, I do have to wonder why it takes nearly 365 days to put a Subtitle track on a film and encode it onto a disc.  This film is making the rounds on all of the film blogs that I know- and many that I don't, I'm sure- so I don't feel as special covering this movie. With that said, it's still a really neat movie and deserves all the attention that can be given to it.  If you don't know, Rare Exports began as a pair of short films released in Finland & was enough to inspire a feature-length film.  Adapting a short into a full-length film is also what got us 9, so it's not always a safe bet.  The plot involves a kid's discovery that Santa Claus is not only real...but he's out for revenge.  Does it relate to a nearby mining operation at a mountain?  Maybe.  I won't SPOIL the movie too much here, but will give you a taste of what the film has going for it.  To find out more, read on...
The film is all about the boy on the left, as he is the only one who suspects that something bad is going on.  Nobody ever listens to the kid, do they?
What killed all of the Caribou?  It was either the local wolves...or something worse.
What's down the hole in the Mountain?  As long as it's not the Devil from Doctor Who or Brendan Fraser flopping about in 3-D, I'm game!
Your day has taken a turn for the worse when you have a dead body being checked out by your friend dressed as Santa Claus.
Who is this mysterious old man?  Why can he bite through broomsticks?  More importantly...
How does he end up in this cage being traded off like some sort of hostage?  Why is he worth so much to the man who's blasting a hole in the Mountain?
What the hell is that thing?!?!?  I'm certainly not going to say here...
What's in the giant net that is so important to that horde of people in the snow?  Again- I'm not saying.
There's no way that this scene ends well.  Or does it?  You get the drift by now- watch the movie to find out. The End.
Christmas Eve is worth the wait.  The plot of this movie is great, even if it does take a while to really get moving.  It's not quite a 'slow-burn' per se, but it doesn't really get all that unique for at least fifteen minutes.  That's just a matter of a cultural divide, as other countries don't necessarily make films the same way that we do.  I know- next I'm going to tell you that they drive on the other side of the road!  Once you get past that little thing, the movie has a lot going for it.  It's got atmosphere,- especially for someone who lives on the other side of the Equator- humor and is chock full of realistic characters.  Could I relate to a Finnish Caribou Hunter in most circumstances?  No.  Can I relate to these characters?  Yes.  The only real sin that this movie commits is not showing certain scenes and just mentioning that they happened?  Does it annoy me?  Yes.  The movie has enough strong points to outweigh these, however, and- to be honest- I think that bothers me more than most people.  The whole thing feels fresh, while making reference to what has already been made.  As a bonus, the DVD/Blu-Ray comes with the two original short films as well, giving you proper context to the whole thing.  It's rare that I say this with a Christmas film, but I recommend this movie.
Next up, I cover a movie that has sat in its predecessor's shadow for the last 17 years.  Will it step out to be appreciated or be covered in mold?  Stay tuned...

A Finnish man walks into a Chinese epic and...wait, what?  That's the basic premise of this bizarre, Finnish/Chinese production.  I mean, what is going on here?  Essentially, a guy from Finland thought that he was a good martial-artist and wanted to make a movie showing that.  There are worse reasons to make a movie, I suppose.  The problem is that this whole thing is silly, slow-paced and convoluted.  For all of you who thought that the 'how the Matrix works' explanation from Matrix: Reloaded was confusing, you haven't seen anything yet!  If you thought that the entire plot of Izo was confusing,...well, it is.  This one is also weird and confusing though.  Oh yeah, the whole plot involves a giant metal box and a similarity between two words from two different stories.  To solve the riddle, polish up this...
The film begins with some people out in the snow that decide to shoot a wolf.  Don't worry, it will live...with that arrow through it's neck!  We are abruptly thrown into the present day in a plot involving a woman selling some metal to a scrap salesman.  It was made by her boyfriend, who is apparently a blacksmith- just not a good one.  The guy from the shop tracks him down and...asks for some hair from his head.  I don't know- just go with it.  It all involves him trying to open some sort of magic box that contains...something.  He hires our hero to build stuff for him, but he has the audacity to interrupt the guy's suicide attempt to do so.  Somehow, the guy ends up in, well, The Matrix and gets his ass kicked by the middle-aged guy.  In the other plot, our hero (the same guy, but with black hair) abandons his mission to kill the last son of an evil witch in exchange for 'living one day as a normal man.'  In reality, he abandons his mission entirely to make eyes at some lady.  Wow, you're a great hero!
This confusing plot continues to get odder and odder.  Our hero continues his romance with the woman from the village and continues to ignore his duty.  Due to lazy screenwriting, we are never told how long he is actually there.  Who cares about facts?!?  In the real world, our hero is hired by the ass-kicking Finnish man to build...something.  He is pretty vague about the whole thing, both to the blacksmith and the audience.  It has something to do with the story in the past, as well as the mysterious object that is mentioned in both stories.  All we know is that our hero is not that good at crafting metal.  What does he need to improve?  It's quite simple- he has to get along with the metal.  No, really.  The only high-point of this movie so far is an over-the-top fight/flirt session between our hero and the girl.  Even that is just okay.  We're almost home, folks!
All of the film so far has been building up to two things- the reveal of what's in the magic box and the fight in the past between our hero and the witch's son.  Unfortunately, both climaxes are silly and, well, a bit of a letdown.  The box contains some sort of evil energy that shoots out into the sky and is supposed to be sinister.  When your effect makes me think of The Wizard of Oz's anniversary, it's not that sinister!  The other moment comes down to our hero facing off with the villain, the bad guy giving a speech and subsequently being decapitated without a fight.  How pointless.  In the present day, we get a showdown between the blacksmith and the middle-aged guy, who is the vessel for the beheaded guy...I think.  They don't say that implicitly, but I think that's what's happening.  Despite being hit in the face with a hammer several times, our hero doesn't die and manages to win the fight.  In the past, our hero learns that the guy we saw at the very beginning was the long-lost fiancee of our hero's girl, so he feels bad...for some reason.  He goes off into the snow and dies, while the blond version of him lives happily ever after.  Okay then.  The End.
What the hell was that?!?  The plot of this movie is all over the map- literally and figuratively!  It's bad enough that we have a plot split between two characters, but it also involves two different countries, Eras of human history and languages.  It would be easier to follow if one of them was a fly and the other was Godzilla!  Aside from this problem, the plot you can actually follow either makes no sense, has no purpose or is just dull.  I never thought that I'd see a Finnish Wuxia film, let alone one that is so freaking dull!  How did they mess this thing up?  I didn't expect this movie to necessarily be good, but I did expect it to be a glorious train wreck.  Sadly, this film is just not interesting.  I was not expecting this movie to turn out this bad.  I guess I'll have to wait until the next Finnish Wuxia film to see if this sub-sub-genre can be salvaged.
Next up, Iceland treats us to a unique horror film.  By 'unique,' of course, I mean that it's a TCM rip-off...with whalers.  Stay tuned...

You know, I used to having nothing against the good people of Finland. That all changed when I saw this movie and now I realize just how much they suck. I should probably explain, shouldn't I? This is actually the sixth in the Star Wreck series, although it is the first one to be given a DVD release here. Gee, I wonder what would inspire a DVD release now? Hmm...I wonder. Another point of note is that this film actually was made in 2005, while the previous one was made in 1997. According to reports, it took them that long to get it made. Man, I haven't seen that much time wasted on a film since the seven years it took to make Eraserhead. Unfortunately, this movie has far more bad puns and bad blue (yes, they use that instead of green) screen effects. This is the foreign horror that is...