In Soviet Russie, Space goes to you!

This one recently popped up on Shudder and I'd never heard of it, so...почему нет?

We then see the crashed pod with a dead body inside...and one wounded.

A Neuropsychiatrist is brought in by a General to help with the case.

That's...ominous, no?

The one Cosmonaut survived and is staying in a Military Facility in Kazakhstan.

She thinks nothing of what is happening and plans to go back to Moscow tomorrow.

She can't sleep and is then approached in her Room by the General.

He calls her in and tells her that she has to see something...

As it turns out, they sent two beings into Space and came back with three.

That'll show Reagan!

Of course, there are lots of twists and turns that happen.

To find out, stream it now.

A Film with some real potential and some good moments to be seen.

Speaking of not reaching something, this Poster- which I think is Japanese- sure promises you a very, VERY different Movie!

A weird and fun Film, if a bit overlong.  A really good first attempt at something great.

 A Film by Renny Harlin- I'm intrigued.
A Film that is sadly his most successful one in around 20 years?  Yikes.

Oh, and it is Found Footage.
Crap.

This is...

FYI- This lady is not in the Movie.

I hope that this is a reenactment picture...because this first part is actually true!

This Film figures that you've already seen far too many Found Footage Films (guilty!) and just immediately tells us that the group of young people who go on the same route in 2013 were lost.

This time, it is a group that is clearly supposed to be Wikileaks that leaks their 'footage' after the Russian Government wouldn't release it.

So now that there is ZERO question that something terrible happens to all of them (we see this clip of 2 of them huddled together right away), let's follow the group while they are still all alive.

They are Oregon College Students who decide to investigate the Dyatlov Pass Incident and can apparently just get a grant to fly over and film this.

The group includes the lead girl Holly, her Cameraman/Conspiracy Theorist Jensen, a strong Sound Girl (Brit Star Gemma Atkinson) and two prolific Hikers that just also happen to go to the same School.

Off to Russia!

They see weird things as they get closer, like strange footprints that appear in the snow around their camp.

They finally get to the titular Pass and film some footage talking about the incident, with the bodies' locations marked out.

So how do they end up trapped in a dark chamber?

The End.

A Film that is really best diagrammed as two fairly different halves.

The Film's big hook is either really clever or super-dumb.  I'll let you decide.

A Film that delivered the weird and bizarre.  The question is whether or not you find it interesting...or just plain stupid.

In North America, Spies are your Parents.

Sorry, Yakov Smirnoff- I've failed you.  Sorry that you're stuck in Branson, man.

Anyhow, this Film is 1988's Little Nikita.  The Plot involves a Government Agent- Sydney Poitier- who discovers a secret about a young man- River Phoenix- after he applies to the Air Force Academy.  His Parents are Americans!

Wait- I mean, his Parents are The Americans.  My bad.

Yes, this Film predates that award winning Show but is based on fears from people in this time.  Said fears turned out to have some merit, so that's 1 point for Reagan.
He's down by 1,000,000,005 points for ignoring the AIDS Epidemic, so bear that in mind.

Is this Film- which I got as a gift last Christmas- a hidden gem? 
Will I keep being political in this?
Does anyone actually read this part?

To find out the answers to some of those questions, read on...

He's finished High School.
He's enlisting in the Air Force.
He's not destined to die tragically in the Street 5 years from now.

SPOILER Alert, River.

So why does this guy act really suspicious at the kid's Interview to join the Air Force Academy?

How were his Parents somehow born 150 years ago?!?

As it turns out, his Parents are deep cover Russian Spies.

Regardless, a killer is on the loose.

Poitier gets close to Phoenix in an attempt to get him to see the truth.

If this one gets a Remake in 2028, will he play Call of Duty with him?

He tells him the truth, but Phoenix needs to see it for himself.

Can this be stopped?

Well, you know that it won't be easy.

The End.

A solid Thriller that is really well anchored by its two Leads.

Now then, why does this Poster feel so familiar...or is it just me?

Next up, a Film with Demi Moore in it.  Will it have any Substance?  Stay tuned...

 Sir Alec Guiness was a legend.

He's the only person so far to get an Oscar Nomination for Acting in a Star Wars Film.

So how did he end up in a random Thriller like Mute Witness that was shot in Russia from 1995?

Well, the short answer is 'He didn't.'

I'll explain.

Guiness actually shot his role in Germany.

In 1985.
No, really.

As the Director tells the Story, he had a chance meeting with Guinness and asked him to shoot a Scene that he could use in a Film later.

The man agreed and shot the Scene sans Plot or context to the Film that wasn't even being considered at the time.

The closest equivalent I can think of would be when Ed Wood got a small amount of money and shot a Scene of Bela Lugosi looking sad and walking on a lawn.

That was later inserted into the infamous Plan 9 from Outer Space.

The difference, of course, is that this Film is good.

The story is still weird as hell though.

 A Film I watched for one weird reason (which I'll explain later).

Did it turn out to actually be a good Movie though?

Let's find out...

As silly as that bit was, the key thing is that our Lead- Billy- is Mute and does the Make-up FX work for a Russian-based Slasher Film.

She ends up being locked in the Studio for the night and wanders onto two men from the Film Set earlier shooting what turns out to be a Snuff Film.

Oh nos!

She has a tense and prolonged bit where the duo are both not chasing her, but also right behind her the whole time.

It works quite well, as the Cuts are disguised nicely and it seems to flow as one long pursuit/not pursuit.

She's saved at the last moment and they call the Cops.

Nobody ever asks where the woman they killed is, which should be a red flag.

The men later report to their Boss.

It is...Sir Alec Guiness?!?

He tells them that they won't get paid as long as there is a living witness- mute or otherwise.

No joke- this is actually quite good.  Whoever wrote the Title blurb on Shudder describes it as an 'underseen Thriller.'

All in all, the Film is a hidden gem.  The Plot isn't amazing, but the tension and Direction elevate it quite well.  As opposed to this odd bit of promotional art for the Film.

A legit well-made Film with a unique pair of hooks- the Mute Lead and the Fish Out of Water Setting.  Outside of its place in Film History, I actually liked it!

 Is this the most common name for a Film ever?  You wouldn't think so, but just go on IMDB to see how many Films are called 'Dark Water' or 'Dark Waters.'  Now go back and read about this one...

It all seems to relate to this stone orb...so this Nun jumps to the death with it.

Jumping ahead some time later, the Mother Superior is now blind and nearly dead.

Vrbo Review- 0 Stars.

A young woman named Elizabeth is going back for the first time in years.

Before she gets there, her friend- who invited her- is killed by the Nuns.

Is this the worst guy to ride on a Boat with?  Possibly.

That's mostly it for the next 46 minutes or so.

Do Elizabeth's visions hint at what really happened all those years ago?
Why did her Dad keep financing this Church?
What secrets will be unearthed?

Oh and why does this Film feel very Italian, but actually made by Russians?

Will Elizabeth be the Heroine of this tale and save the day...or unleash evil upon the Earth?

To find out, stream the odd Film.

Is Dark Waters bad?  No.  It has a unique (if Italian-inspired) look and feel.
Is Dark Waters really good?  No.  It's odd, dream-like feel makes it hard to latch on the supposed reality, making it very disconnected tonally.

Just don't confuse this sacrilegious Horror Film with, oh, a Political Thriller about Corruption in Business...

It is worth a look for fans of the freaky, as it is fairly-obscure.  That said, just expect to go 'ooh' and 'ah' more than 'Oh, that's neat.'

 A Russian, Chinese and American Film walk into a bar.  While they recover from head injuries, this is the Film we get...

He plays a locked-up Mystic with a quest to give.

In the other corner, you have Arnold Schwarzenegger.

He plays a British (pause for laughter) Warden who will let his prisoners fight for their freedom.

Sound good?

Said Story is now about a Russian King, since those rubles don't pay themselves!

…or is it actually a Story about a Magic Dragon (not Puff), a Witch and some guys that they stole from Big Trouble in Little China?

Is it...all 3?!?

So, in summary, this Film is about the following...

Any questions?

An odd Film experience all-around.  So, this one has alot of back-story.  It was a Sequel to a Russian Film that was a big hit.  It was co-Produced by China.  Weird how a Film by these two has zero Gay Characters, huh?  Strange.  Anyhow, this mish-mash of Wuxia, Action Film, Fantasy and Historical is...as weird as that sounds.  It's never quite a full Martial Arts Film.  It's never quite a Fantasy Exploration Film.  It is never quite a Film where magic is 100% real.  For instance, it retcons the ending of Viy/Forbidden Empire where he thinks that everything wasn't magic.  At the same time, magic is definitely real, since we have a magic dragon and a Witch.  At the same time, the Witch fakes the Dragon (as she can't control it).  She also fakes having magic bodyguards by way of technology.  She also has magical masks that allow her (and others) to look like the Princess.  So...is it real or not?  The Film's biggest problem is focus.  It opens with a long bit of exposition about the dragon...which doesn't matter until like the hour mark (if that).  It sets up Flemyng's Lead...only to constantly forget about him.  It sometimes remembers its Characters throughout until *most* of them show up for the ending.  It begins and ends like a Wuxia Film with either Donnie Yen, Jet Li or, well, Jackie Chan in a small role.  In the middle, it's Russian Kreplach, American French Fries, British Bangers and whatever Country you think Arnold's accent is supposed to represent here.  Let's see if this Russian Poster clears anything up...

A weird-ass mish-mash of Genres.  If you like your Desert with your cheap Steak and your Sushi, this one is for you...weirdo.