A new Year begins new Resolutions.

One is to finally get around to finally watching some things I've meant to forever.

In this case, it is the Film that Svengoolie says is the worst Film he's ever ran.
This is...

The guy looks like Joe Estevez and I just hope that this makes sense later.

We next meet a bunch of random guys in a bar who keep discussing Art.

Also, that's Sid Haig in the background playing...'Ahab the Arab.'

After this, a random lady is chased around and ends up at the Beach.

Okay...

After watching our Heroine at a Dance Class...or Rehearsal...maybe, she goes to the same Beach and dances around.

This goes on for over FIVE MINUTES in a Film that is just over 70 minutes long.

If this Film seems a bit disjointed, it is because of a few reasons.

Thanks, Roger Corman!

The Film- mostly the Bath part- involves a Painter being crazy.  Something about the lady in the Painting being a Witch.

The End.

Yeah, I can see why this one has its reputation.

By the way, even Films made nearly 6 Decades ago have these kinds of Fake Promo Images...

A Film as befuddling and silly as promised.  This is what I get for following through with my Resolutions, folks!

 A once lost Film from South Korea?
A giant Monster?
Just the silliest of silly effects?

I'm in!

Apparently, they made a monster that will grow in the right atmosphere and they looked around until they found one.

Are they the Neptune Men?

They found Earth and they do just that.

It attacks South Korea, since I guess Japan was busy.

The appearance of a giant Monster interrupts a young lady's plan to get married tomorrow.

Life sure is hard!

She flees from the City with her Mother.

As bad luck would have it, the Monster grabs her...for some reason.

Someone wants to be King Kong!

The Monster stomps around, sometimes smashing buildings, but never making sparks come out of power lines.

Meanwhile, the Film follows a bunch of random people, like a pair of half-drunk guys and a Child Tramp.

Said Tramp jumps onto the creature as it nears the roof he is on.

This kid...is insane and badass.

He wounds the creature for a bit and crawls down the back of it, disabling the control pack that the Aliens are using on it.

They walk off into the Sunset...although it is Black and White, so who knows?  The End.

A pretty fun Film, but the focus sure is all over the map.

A Film that can somehow feature a giant Monster, aliens, melodrama and also this guy pretending to take a s**t near a crowd sure is...something.

A Film that is enjoyable, but it also sure is strange!  If you're into a Film that is all over the place, this is your Movie!

 I've spoken before about how the most salacious Titles can lead to the most disappointing of Films.

Is this one of them?

Let's find out...

Sure- why not?!?

They go with some others and drink at, well, a different place.

They all end up at a Castle which the Host (the guy above) said not to go to.
They just do it anyhow.

What is all of this have to do with the random shots we're getting off people seemingly doing surgery for hours on end?

Yes.

They are greeted by German Nick Offerman (the Butler/whatever) and the Duke (Howard Vernon).

First on the tour, a display (with sounds?) of 3 guys abusing this lady.  Fun?

This one just kind of muddles on and on.

Is this...is this a Parody?  Satire?

It is just so beguiling in all of the wrong ways and boring in other ways that it almost makes you yearn for death.  Oh, there he is!

A Film that I think really meant something to at least one of the THREE Writers (including Jesus Franco).  Whatever that was, however, was lost somewhere in the mail.

 The Internet is abuzz with talk about this Film from ComicCon this year.

I might as well exploit it...

The brains keep proving not strong enough.

The Film spends about 10 minutes establishing this woman.

I guess Rene Cardona saw Psycho, because the lady is suddenly killed by the bad Doctor!

Her Sister is a Wrestler and she works with the Cops and the Scientist Friend.

Meanwhile, the Cops find out who the Doctor is.
They've questioned every Medical Doctor.  Well, they're out of ideas now!

The Doctor has a big staff, including a bunch of Henchmen, a mutated man AND he even made bulletproof armor for the guy.

Can he get what he wants?

He decides that he needs a stronger woman for the experiment.

What an idea!

His plan pivots a bit when he's burned by random acid in his lab trying to kidnap her.

Naturally, this all culminates in the 2nd prolonged Wrestling Match.
The End.

A bit of Movie queso.  It doesn't try to be a complex Film.

I'm not sure why anyone cast Robert Downey Jr as this guy all of a sudden, but oh well.
I look forward to the Film as long as the Poster is this great in 2026.

A fun Film for fans of the Genre.  There's not much variety here, but you can still have a good laugh.

 A random bit of luck got me a copy of the original Short Story that become William Castle's Mr. Sardonicus.   It came in a big old Book from 1987 that I paid a whole $1 for.

Nobody demanded this but screw it.

Let's see what Mr. Castle and company changed for the Screen...

What's Different?

Good change, Mr. Castle.

What a twist!

Final Thoughts

The Story is still a fun one, so track it down.  The Film is just a more expanded and interesting version.

Is this a TV Special?
Is this a Musical?
Is this a Comedy?
Is this a Commercial?

Yes.

Yeah, the Story is really flimsy here.  Just go with it!

The main Cast go around and do some schtick (like obviously not Al Lewis climbing a pole or talking to Walruses) ...

...while the 'kids' go see the Musical Act and the Seal Show.

IMDB lists Kenny Rogers as one of the Singers in the New Christy Minstrels, but this was shot cheaply on Film, and it isn't exactly HD...so who knows?

This is Hillbillys in a Haunted House filler though.

On the plus side, we get to see Eddie Munster learn about Porpoises.

That was worth it, right?

The End.

I mean, what were you expecting?  This isn't really a Film or Special.
It is an Ad for a Park where you would take your kids to see Seal do tricks and Dolphins flop around.

That said, it is a bit long at an hour, in spite of the great Sponsorship of Minute Maid Orange Juice.  I used to love that stuff.

A pretty basic attempt to market a Theme Park on Television.  Other than the filler, they do at least try to work Munsters stuff into this.

 At long last, a famous bit of nonsense...just with none of the fun charm that was supposed to be included.

Monsters Crash the Pajama Party is not really a Movie per se- it is the setup to a bigger Spookshow.  Needless to say, sitting at my Computer and watching it is not that thrilling.

Maybe at a Party it is better?
It is only 31 minutes long, after all.

The actual Film itself comes to us from David L. Hewitt, the man who also brought us Dr. Terror's Gallery of Horror(s), The Mighty Gorga and The Wizard of Mars.  Not the best Resume.

The Plot, as it were, involves a Mad Scientist, a Gorilla, some girls and some truly terrible comedy.

To find out if you can enjoy some of this on its own, read on...

Fun Note- this would be an easy Halloween Costume for me to do (if I did them).
Bad Note- this 31-minute Film has around 6 minutes of Credits at the start.  Fast forward is advised.

A bunch of young ladies (they at least don't all look 30) are staying the night at a 'Haunted House' for a Sorority Initiation.  Won't the Hillbillys need them out before they can move in?

The boys leave, but...I mean, you've seen one of these.  They'll be back.

It isn't Haunted- the Mad Doctor lives down there.

Who is she?  You're watching the wrong Film if you expect an answer!

The boys get a flat tire (off-camera) and get delayed.  We get a Scooby-Doo-style sneak around the House bit...only this Film predates the Show by 4 years!

It is her, because she's wearing a nighty...that is the wrong color.

The Gorilla freaks out and knocks out the Doctor, turning her back.  So that was completely pointless.

More drawn out wandering around before a never-before-seen Hunchback helps the Gorilla catch the remaining girls for the Doctor (who got better).

Draculina- who we haven't seen since her one bit in the beginning- picks the blond to be experimented on.

They fight off Big G and throw bombs...that they found (?!?) at the Doctor to escape.

The annoyed Doctor decides to go with Plan B.  He has the laser gun turned towards the Screen to 'blast his way out' and sends in his minions to 'get a new girl.'

If you saw this at an official Spookshow Screening, they would have a plant dressed like that in the Audience to be 'taken' behind the Screen and into the Film.

The End.

A weird, but not great part of Film History.  To be fair, the Film removed from everything else is not how it was seen.

As an historical oddity, it's worth a watch.  The Film came with a bunch of Extras, which are probably way better than this.  Watch it once if you're curious.  Just don't expect a quick start.

Next up, let's get another Remake out there.  Will it be cutting or Satanic?  Stay tuned...