Chocolate is not the only fruit

I've never considered myself to be a maverick in any way whatsoever. I'm terribly conventional really. So it came as a bit of a surprise to realise that I have some quirks that do set me apart from a lot of 'normals.' For example:

• I cannot bear sand. I won't have it in my garden at home so the kids can't have a sandpit and when we go to the beach I spend all my time shaking sand off the beach towels and my feet. It's  not so bad when it's dry, but once my feet are wet I spend all the time trying to get the sand not to stick to me and - frankly - it's a miserable process. 

• Tea is my thing - I don't drink coffee. I used to, but I haven't for over ten years and now it's a distant memory. I did drink decaff for a while, but that seemed so entirely pointless I have given up on it altogether. People are often puzzled by this. 

• Although I have a daredevil streak in me I will never, ever do a bungee jump. It's as far from my idea of a good time as it's possible to get and I would throw myself out of a plane before I would do this. Bear in mind I am also not a big fan of flying so that's a big deal. 

• Nutella doesn't do anything for me. It has taken me most of my life to realise I just don't like that praline-y taste and that extends to all the pralines in any selection box of chocolates too. Now you know which ones to help yourself to if you share a box with me - or which ones to buy if you don't want me to eat any.

• When I was a kid I was terrified of car washes - those automated ones that you drive through - and when I was reminded of this by my mother as an adult it revived the fear. I now cannot drive through one of them without distraction or a sedative - I am being serious ! 

• I'm a big fan of fish, but I can't stand salmon. Smoked salmon is fine, but the other kind is just eugh ! This makes me sound really picky when I have to tell anyone my food preferences, but honestly I'm not. 

• I swim about 5-6 times a week, but I'm very frightened of large expanses of water. When the pool is empty it takes a few minutes before I stop being afraid that something (I don't know what) is going to happen to me in the water. I love swimming, so this one is a bit of an issue. 

• On a similar note, this becomes even more complicated by the fact that I get horribly seasick, but I will scuba dive. While I'm on the water I feel sick as anything, but when I'm in the water I am fine. Weird eh ? 

• Despite years of devoted service to cakes of all kinds I just don't like traditional doughnuts. Yes I can appreciate the smell of freshly made doughnuts, but the sugar coated variety are far from my idea of a treat. I was so scared of my mother as a child that I never told her that I didn't like them and when I confessed as an adult she was quite surprised. 

On a Thursday my boy is usually exhausted from his 3 days at nursery so we take it nice and easy with some relaxing home-based activities. The night before I set out some puzzles, toys and games to play so that when he comes down to his playroom he has some things to keep him occupied, but not tire him out too much. This week it was a repeat of the fire engine themed day we did a few weeks back as he loved it so much.

Far too tired to taste test

I have a lot more than this

Talk to anyone who has known me for a few years and they will tell you about my compulsive shoe and handbag habit. Neil will tell you how at Uni I was invited to most concerts because I was the only one who had a credit card to pay for gig tickets. This is the only explanation I can (or will) offer for having been to see Clannad. Bee will tell you how I own more coats than it is possible to wear - I know this because when we were watching Buffy once I mentioned that she had a different coat on every night and Bee said the words, "Pot, Kettle, Black." SJ will tell you I have accessories ranging from belts and bangles to perky hats and pashminas. I might not remember what day it is, but I will be damned if I'm going out uncoordinated.

I mention these oddities as my evil capitalist ways have been curbed in recent years, due to a combination of reduction in income and changed priorities. Yes I know being a stay at home parent is reward enough - blah, blah, blah - and I genuinely do prefer to buy things for my son and Hubbie. However I appear to have swapped one overindulgent habit for another. It became apparent to me as I found myself picking up far too many Easter gifts yesterday - I can't say any more than that as Hubbie does read this and I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Hot Cross buns a-go-go

You see there are three of us and yet I grocery shop like the apocalypse is imminent. At Christmas I bought 4 Christmas puddings - 4 !! Our boy doesn't even eat Christmas pudding and we still have two of them. I've just stopped myself from buying a bumper pack of Easter eggs from Thorntons - I've already bought enough for all of us and all our siblings. In the supermarket the other day I bought up one of every type of Easter cake for a 'special Easter afternoon tea' and we currently have four flavours of hot cross buns at home. I reiterate, there are three of us.

Don't panic though, I think I've worked it out. I'm shopping for my imaginary family. I know, I know. Bear with me here. I'm one of four siblings, my father is too and my mother is one of five. Hubbie has one brother and we have one son. I always thought I'd have a pretty big family. I wanted to have four and Hubbie was kind of ok with two. Before we had our boy we were approved to adopt two children and at one point were asked to consider three children - a toddler and younger twins - so we would have been a pretty big family overnight.

As it is we have one child and he is gorgeous and we adore him. However, we had thought we'd have more and part of me clearly hasn't let that go. In my head I was supposed to have a brood of kids and I'm clearly shopping for them. That's why I have enough cakes to sink a small fleet, a freezer filled with mini twister lollies and enough straws to build a replica Eiffel Tower.

I saw someone this afternoon who I haven't seen for a few years. She asked me if I'd had any luck in falling pregnant again and I told her I had been and it hadn't worked out. She said, "Oh well at least you've got little one." Of course I have and he's not a consolation prize. She's not the only one to remind me that our family is incomplete. It's a regular question and I dread any family event where I'll see someone who's onto their second or third or more pregnancy. It reminds me what I don't have and it prompts them or others to ask if we want to have more children.

Of course we do.

I'm not ungrateful for my small family. I love how close we all are. I just have to get real about how much chocolate, cake and biscuits we can get through.

!This time last year I was cacking myself wondering why I'd decided to go to the first Mumsnet Blogfest. I didn't know anyone else who was going and I was terrified I'd stick out like a useless amateur in a room full of technical wizards in amazingly co-ordinated outfits with perfect figures and no evidence of mummyhood other than a much cooler bag than me.

As I waddled over to the venue very early and awaited the onslaught of power mums I was quite surprised to find welcoming, friendly normal women quite happily noshing the pastries that I'd expected they'd be avoiding. My first conversation was with a lovely blogger who's based in Italy and had just been published (intimidating much ?), but everyone I met was really friendly and I learned so much all day. I had been going through an identity crisis wondering whether my blog was actually being read by anyone and whether or not there was any point in continuing. I left with renewed confidence that I could do new things and try to build and audience without changing the essential nature of what I enjoyed writing.

I'm really looking forward to going again this year now I know a lot more bloggers and am less timid about promoting my blog, I've learned how to use linkys (well this post is on one isn't it so that's one skill I didn't have last year !). It's a great day with so much going on and there was not a moment that I wasn't learning something new, including how many cupcakes I can fit into my handbag - a lot if you must know !

The sessions are so great I want to borrow Hermione's ability to be in more than one class at once so I don't have to miss any of them. As well as looking forward to the sessions I'm also going to see some blogger friends who I've chatted to online and some I've even met in real life. Some are even presenting the sessions - ooh get me with my blogger celeb pals :o)

So my top tips if it's your first Blogfest ?

1. Dress how you like, it's not a fashion show and no one is judging you.
2. Bring a very big bag - there is so much to pick up and the goodie bag is enormous !!
3. Take a break from whatever nonsensical food fad you're following for just one day. The cakes, the lunch and the drinks are so wonderful you'd be crazy to miss out on them.
4. Bring a tablet with you and don't lug a massive laptop along - it was heavy and I didn't use it at all !! .
5.  There will be wifi.
6.  Tweet while you're there - it's a great way to meet and greet other bloggers who are sitting in the same room and it's how I got talking to the fabulous Mammasaurus !
7. Don't try and do everything - the sessions will be online later so you can watch any you missed
8. If you're bringing a baby seek me out and I'll be more than happy to hold and hug while you go to the loo or drink your tea - honestly !!
9. Don't be afraid to talk to the brands that are there - they will work with a range of bloggers and you don't have to be the Bloggess to get their interest
10. Make friends & have fun !!

I'll see you there :o)