Chocolate is not the only fruit

How is it possible that Madonna is 60 today ? I mean I realise it's perfectly normal and had they lived Prince and Michael Jackson would also be looking at cashing in their over 50s plans and popping out for the early bird oap special in the local Harvester. I guess I just don't see Madonna as 'older' and of course 60 is no longer old anyway.


I've loved her since I was a teenager and was influenced by her in so many ways. The hair; rags, curly and messy, the platinum blonde phase I wish I could have carried off. The fashion; thrift store clothing, ankle boots, leather and lace. The attitude, her perseverance and  let's face it the self confidence. Of course she has her faults - who doesn't ? - but I honestly believe the influence she has had on many women (and men) of my generation is profound. So here - in no particular order - are my top ten reasons for celebrating Madonna.

1. She is a genuine poor kid made good. She literally went from rags to riches. Ok the rags were in her hair, but you get the point.

2. Mads is a fierce advocate of the gays - ok she wasn't the first, but she certainly wasn't shy about talking about sexuality. When her book 'Sex' was published my friend Jo pre-ordered it and when it was delivered we sat in her bedroom at uni looking through the photos in awe even though most of them had already been published by papers to prove how depraved she was.

3. I made my family come home early from temple one Sunday afternoon so I could watch the Blonde Ambition tour on an italian cable channel. I can't believe my Mum actually did that for me.

4. She is fluent in French and Italian - this woman is no thickie. She sent her kids to a french speaking school and values education very highly.

5. As a parent M is very strict - I like that she doesn't take any crap from her kids. It's far too easy to give your kids everything when you are loaded, it's much more difficult to say no.


6. Talking of saying which - Madonna doesn't need anyone to like her. Remember that scene in the movie 'Truth or Dare' ? Where Kevin Costner comes to see her backstage and she makes a gag face ? See she don't give a damn.

7.  As a business woman she has built an empire and maintained it. Other singers have been ripped off by accountants, record companies and even their partners, but M takes no shit from nobody. (sic)

8. Her acting is abysmal, but I did really enjoy her turn as Karen's flakey roomate in Will and Grace. It was self-effacing and hilarious.

9. When Madonna falls in love she gives it all she's got. Famously her love for Sean Penn has never really gone away. She turned herself into an English lady for Guy Ritchie. For a woman who is so strong and independent she falls hard for the men she loves.


10. The woman can dance. That is all. Watch any pop starlet and you will see her moves all over them.

So those are the highlights from my history with Madonna. It's not an exhaustive list by any means. I mean I didn't even talk about the music videos (stunning), the chameleon-like style changes (epic), the adoptions (best not), the feuds with other singers (legendary) and the fact that even after all these years she's still able to terrify with a look. I can't help, but admire the woman for that.

I looked at my boys at one point today and just stopped.

It was after Blue Bear had been for a walk with Daddy and come back with a caterpillar toy from the shop. After Brown Bear had left the cottage and gone for a wander without telling anyone where he was going. After Blue Bear had yelled blue murder - we thought he had lost a limb at the very least - because his shoe had come off. It was also after Brown Bear had kicked a football into the tree outside and very nearly decapitated the son of our holiday hosts with a gigantic frisbee in an effort to retrieve the ball.

I had been afforded a lie in and some quiet time for myself - I spent it conked out instead of running as I had optimistically intended to do. Following a week when I started a new job this break has been much needed, but the early start and long drive did take their toll on the drivers. It was also the day after my lovely friend said goodbye to her beloved cat Tom. I had known him all his life and he was an adorable lad. We played tricks on her like ringing the doorbell and running away - well I ran away, he sat there and freaked her out. Oh how we laughed.

Half term is always a bit of a sharp handbrake turn in the school year. The kids are desperately ready for it and we don't usually plan to go away for this one and it's so busy. This year we decided to book to go away in a return to our 'pre-children reverie.' We went on a road trip to California one year and another we had a special weekend in Brighton to celebrate my 40th birthday.

As the sun shone today it truly felt like a holiday. As Blue Bear swaggered around with sunglasses on demanding Daddy pull the sleigh he was sitting on. As the boys and their friends ran with the bubble wands we had bought for them making trails of rainbow filled bubbles. As we sat in the sunshine and I blew out the candles on a unicorn cake (don't ask !) and the kids scoffed Peppa Pig cupcakes in record time.

Of course as soon as the sugar hit their insides they were chaos unconfined and thankfully there was plenty of space outdoors for them to run off the energy and insanity. It was lovely to see them playing outside and to be able to let them roam freely and not worry about them being within our sight the whole time. It reminded me of my own school holidays when we would go outside to play and my Mum didn't stand over us commentating on every little thing we did.

Recently I've been taking my hands off the reins and letting my boys take risks and be out of my sight more. It is terrifying. It is also quite exhilirating when I hear a glowing report about their behaviour in my absence. From the text message I got about Blue Bear on Monday asking if they could keep him as he had been so adorable on the play date and had at one point looked out at an amazing view and declared, "I can see forever." To the lovely comments from our host today saying Brown Bear has been nothing but polite and friendly to her - he was pretty rotten to his brother, but you know, small steps.

And then earlier I was sitting on the sofa and the boys were sitting side by side next to me. They were staring at a screen and looked tired. Their faces were completely relaxed and had that slight sheen from playing outside and catching the sun. As I looked at my boys I just felt overwhelmed with love and appreciation.

Yes they annoy the hell out of me and each other, but they are silly, funny, brave and gorgeous. When I recall my birthdays this one will be up there as special because I noticed. I stopped and gave myself a break. I let go and let them be free. I remembered that these boys (and the bigger one and the furry one) are just about the best thing in my life. I mean let's not be too hasty, there's still chocolate and shoes up there too.


Oh and did I mention I once met Clare Grogan as she was leaving the toilets in the theatre ?

My boy is seven today. The first grandchild and nephew in both our families. Seven years ago today I was taken in an ambulance to deliver this boy when it became clear that both he and I were in trouble.  Following a blissful and trouble free pregnancy with a much longed for baby at the last minute it started to go wrong. My husband was told he could lose us both. He never let on to me how bad it was. He stood next to me and held my hand as we joked and laughed - much easier to do when you've been given the drugs, me not him. When the boy finally arrived I told Hubbie to go with him to make sure he was ok and I would be fine. We had done the NCT practice run of this and knew how it would go when an emergency C section took place. The room full of people, the student doctor introducing themselves to us and our baby being taken away immediately for checks. We had agreed that Hubbie would stay with him while I was stitched up. Apparently the boy did a massive poo as soon as he was born. Well his sense of timing is impeccable. We spent the night in a recovery ward and Hubbie went home to sleep for the first time in almost three days. I held my son close and watched him all night. I still go into his room and watch him sleep every night.

I've had a birthday - not a big one so nothing too fancy, but a birthday nonetheless. I went from having no plans a week before the day to being fully booked which was a nice surprise. I met friends for dim sum in London and then went for dinner with Hubbie in the evening. Thanks to our lovely neighbour offering to babysit we were able to go out for a drink and a really nice meal together - not something we get to do that often so it was a bit of a treat.

My boys (including Neo) gave me some lovely cards and gifts:


As it was a special dinner I had some champagne and Hubbie had a virgin mojito:


I'm not a food blogger, but I was inspired to share what we ate as it was so beautifully presented:


Here's to my birthday twin and style icon Siouxie Sioux - can you see the resemblance ?


Normal service will resume shortly, but for this weekend I'm being a bit self-indulgent. Please bear with me.

On Friday morning a very excited boy will wake up and remind us all that it is his birthday. We have agreed that he can blow out the candles on his birthday cake before he goes to school and he will have waffles with some chocolate spread on them as a special birthday treat. He will get a badge and card in assembly in the afternoon and all the children and teachers will sing to him. After school he will go to swim club and at Beavers this week they will go tree climbing - which he is terribly excited about. While he is at school all day me and Hubbie will build his new desk and set up his bedroom with all the new things we have for him.


I will spend a lot of the day baffled that my baby is now 6 years old. That since the day he was born there hasn't been a moment when I haven't looked at him in disbelief that he is real. This boy who still puts his fingers in his mouth when he's tired and who has those big brown eyes that give away the mischief that he has in mind.

His first year was just a blur, but I remember our house being filled floor to ceiling with presents for our 3 month old son that first Christmas. His birthday was about the same and as we'd not long moved into this house (9 days after his first birthday) it was a bit chaotic too.

When he was 2 he was apoplectic with us for cutting his racing car cake as he thought it was a toy car. We had a family party for him and he loved all the toy cars he received as well as plenty of gifts from all our lovely family and friends.

On his 3rd birthday we held a birthday party for his nursery friends which involved a dozen kids in our garden and my fantastic friend SJ made mini cupcakes that left all the kids with blue tongues - now that is what I call a party !! I swore blind I've not have a party at home again just on the basis that it seemed a great idea, until everyone was actually here !

At his 4th we decided to surprise him with a sports party and when he arrived and saw all his class there he looked like he would turn on his heel and run away. Thankfully he didn't take off and we enjoyed a fun party with all his new friends.


Last year we all went bowling on his birthday. Blue Bear wasn't so sure about what was going on, but Brown Bear was super competitive and got quite cross when he wasn't winning. His big celebration was a pool and pizza party which I'd wanted to do for ages. The kids seemed to enjoy it and who doesn't like pizza ? Not anyone I want to be friends with that's for sure.

This year despite promising we'd keep things simple we've planned a party with street dance and mini Olympics. As he's going to be at school on the actual day we are taking the boys to Legoland at the weekend for the first time and he is beyond excited about it.

I look at my son and can't believe that my baby boy can now do his own tie, he can read, he holds conversations with me. He is thoughful, resourceful and brave. All this week we have been receiving parcels and cards in the post and this afternoon and evening neighbours dropped off presents for him. He's continued to be thoroughly spoiled by everyone and loved beyond my wildest imaginings.

So now you are six son. I'm inordinately proud of you and baffled by how fast the time has flown. Oh and I still think you will be taller than me by the time you're ten !

I recently had my hair cut shorter and have found it suits me better, is far more practical when swimming and has garnered some compliments. The other thing I noticed was that I can now spot the odd white hair along the front hairline. For years I asked my hairdresser if I was going grey and he insisted that I wasn't. I suspect he was sparing my feelings, but I also put it down to a mythical family trait that I had told myself existed.

You see I was convinced for years that my Mum didn't go grey until she was in her forties. She had been colouring her hair, but I was pretty sure she wasn't anything like as grey as other people of her age. Now I'm wondering if I was right after all. I mean it isn't bad to be on the cusp of my late '40s and only just noticing silver wisps is it ? I'm almost proud. Not quite, but almost.

Ageing is inevitable, but some do it better than others. It's become pretty standard to watch people in the public eye get shinier and tighter as they grow older. In real life things sag and droop, but we try and defy any signs that we're getting on a bit. A lot of the people who swim at the pool I go to are much older than me and are super fit. Maybe they would have been anyway, but the swimming probably helps.

It's ok for men to get older, they are described as 'distinguished,' but women aren't treated the same way are we ? It's like wearing glasses. Hubbie eschews contact lenses because he knows that glasses suit him. I've never quite managed to shake off the idea that, 'boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.' I know women who look fantastic in specs, but I'm just not one of them. In my final year at Uni I decided to wear glasses to look clever in the hope they would confer intelligence on me by stealth. No such luck.

I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to behave. Do I stop wearing t-shirts emblazoned with band names and logos on them ? Do I listen to serious music instead of the tunes that make my children laugh and sing along ? Do I watch my cholesterol and take preventative measures ? Do I take up soothing pastimes and start collecting things ? Or do I continue as I am. Dancing in the car and the kitchen with my kids and Hubbie. Hiding sweets from party bags that the kids bring home so that we can eat them to 'protect their precious teeth' ?

What I am going to do is all the things I enjoy:

• go swimming
• go out to eat with Hubbie
• have a lovely pampering treatment
• present my radio show
• see friends and have my hair done. 

Then when it's all done I'll take a look at the 'silver' hair on my head and consider myself lucky.

Christmas Eve and all is well. We have a few traditions that Baby Boy is experiencing for the first time. Last night we took the boys and our lovely neighbour (and spare Grannie) Jill to see the lights. There is a cul de sac near where we live and the houses have the most amazing Christmas lights every year. I always take a few sneaky trips with the kids in the run up to Christmas and then we make a family visit to donate to the charities that houses are collecting for. Baby Boy loved it so much.


Christmas Eve is always spent with my family as it's my Dad's birthday. Last year we were lucky enough to spend Christmas at Coombe Mill and we really missed seeing him for his special day (we did enjoy the party hosted by Fiona, Farmer Nick and the children though). Today we went to see the family and I spent a lot of it cuddling my gorgeous 3 month old baby nephew. I remember when Big Boy was that age at his first Christmas and it was just magical.

As well as being a family day I like to remember how lucky we are to have people who care for us and enough food for everyone. We donate all year and I like to ensure that we all remember that not everyone has a great time at Christmas.  We made a drop of food, teabags, snacks, hats, gloves and socks to a charity that provides support to homeless people all year round, but especially in the colder months. I hope that they are able to make it a bit better for anyone sleeping rough. It's also worth mentioning that Sikh temples are open all year round for anyone who needs hot meal. There is no qualifying criteria and it is not shameful to ask.

This afternoon after about a month of planning we had Big Boy's birthday party. It was a pool and pizza party with about twenty 4-5 year olds and a few toddlers. It was noisy, chaotic, very wet and frankly madness. It was also - in Big Boy's words - the best day he's ever had.

During the swimming part the kids all seemed to have lots of fun and splashed around. Baby Boy has only been swimming for a few months and loved it. When it came to the food and drink part

Phew ! I was so worried about it all and planned every last thing to make sure it would go well. From ordering the pizzas online last week to making sure that we took plenty of drinks for adults and children. Following a miscalculation last year with goody bags I made up plenty this year and was delighted to find we had a couple left over for my boys to have.

Tonight we had two large pizzas left, all the coleslaw and potato salad that I'd forgotten to put out and lots of drinks as everyone was driving. The reason I'm telling you this is because we are all completely exhausted. I'm so tired that I could sleep for days. Hubbie was so tired he couldn't even finish his food - which is almost unheard of I can tell you !

In a week we will be at the wonderful Coombe Mill where the kids have so much fun and we love staying with Fiona and her fab family. It's been such a tiring time I really want to rest and relax a bit while we're there. Let's hope I get the chance.

For now though, the whole house smells of pizza and the garage is full of drinks. Life ain't so bad :)

Yesterday Big Boy was 5. I was talking to him about how wonderful it was waiting for him to be born and how much it meant to meet him for the first time. He looked past me and said,
"Mummy can I watch the TV please ?"
Harsh.

In the days before he answered me back

I often talk to Big Boy about when he was a baby and he loves to watch video of himself when he was younger. He's really keen on hearing about what he was like as a baby and now he has a baby cousin he's even more fascinated. Seeing my first nephew and holding him made me realise how tiny they are when they are so new and how much my own boys have grown since birth. It also gave me a pang of sadness that I have no knowledge of Baby Boy as a newborn and no photos of his first days.

When I talk to the boys about their babyhood it's with an awareness that there are gaps in what I can tell Baby Boy. I didn't carry him for 9 months. I wasn't his first Mummy. I am his Mummy now and the love I feel for him is as fierce as it is for his brother. However, I feel guilt that I don't have baby photos of him, stories about his first days, memories of what he was like as a newborn.

My boys playing nicely

Instead we have memories that we have created with his since he's been with us. Going to the park and pointing at the dogs - 'oof 'oofs. Riding his scuttlebug around the house - I know, I know. The cheekiness, the fun and the games that we play together. It's not a bed of roses as the last few days of almost constant tantrums will attest to, but it's so worth it.

When it comes to his birthday we will take just as much effort to make it special and fuss and spoil him just as much as his brother. He will have a cake and candles and lots of presents and helium balloons. We will Skype the grandparents and contact his foster carers so they can wish him a happy birthday too. He had his first birthday with them so it seems only fair that they get to share his second one too.

We're still learning about Baby Boy and he's still learning about us.

How he came to us is irrelevant, that he is here is all that matters.

We are family

Miffy’s new series will become a key part of Tiny Pop’s evening block, Cuddle Time, which features gentle programming allowing kids, mums and dads to enjoy calmer family favourites before bedtime.

If you'd like a sneak preview take a look at this clip the lovely folks at Tiny Pop have sent me to share with you:



And as if all that wasn't exciting enough you can also join in Miffy's Surprise Party this Friday on Twitter. See you there ?

I'm proud to be a #MiffyMum and have been working with Miffy to celebrate her 60th birthday this year.

I am a big fan of birthdays. Any excuse to celebrate and you will see me bring out a cake, candles and balloons. So you can imagine how excited I was to find out that it's the big birthday of one of my favourite characters from childhood. Yes, Miffy is 60 this year and I'm absolutely delighted to have been chosen to be a Miffy Mum in honour of this special birthday year.

I'm also taking part in #tkam re-read

It's my birthday later this month and Hubbie has been asking what I would like as a present. He will also be asking on behalf of my lovely mother-in-law at some point. I'm so lucky to have received so many generous gifts over the years. Hubbie has given me beautiful jewellery, a flying lesson, beauty treatment vouchers, amazing meals out and so much more. Family have always been very kind too and I am throughly spoiled.

Most years we have a party / barbecue in the garden where we catch up with all the friends who we haven't seen all year and it's an excuse to wear a pretty dress and pop open some bottles of nice things to drink and for Hubbie to fire up the barbecue and do 'man cooking.' We have been so fortunate over the years that the weather has been lovely and we can spend all day outdoors with space for kids to run around and for adults to lounge and chat for as long as they like. The only down side is the washing up, but in recent years I've gone with paper plates so even that is sorted.

As I have been sorting and decluttering the house I've realised quite how much of everything we have. The kitchen gadgets that just don't get used - mostly because I've forgotten I have them - and the vast number of handbags that I couldn't possibly use. As a result I gave three bags of donations to my lovely neighbour today to take to the charity shop where she volunteers her time. I've freecycled as much as I can and have still more to go. The garage is a holding point for the items that have to go to the tip and I have a long term plan in my head of how to get it all sorted so that we have less junk and an actual functional home.

So, if I don't need any handbags, or clothes, or jewellery, or kitchen gadgets what is left ? Well, of course donations to charity are always welcome. Hubbie has kindly offered to treat me to hair and beauty the weekend before my birthday and we are taking the boys out on my actual birthday for a big bus tour in London. We adore buses and we all love London so it's a perfect day out for us.

However, I have also got one quite selfish request to make for my birthday this year. One that I hope will get some traction. I'd like the gift of time please. Yes, I'd like someone to give me some time out.

Me and Hubbie were given a voucher for a meal in a nice restaurant at Christmas. At the time I joked, "does it include babysitting ?" It wasn't a joke really. We haven't been able to use it yet and I don't know when we will. Hence he is going out to a gig on the evening of my birthday - I said it was ok - because it's unlikely we can go out together any time soon.
I'd love any of these vouchers:

"This entitles you to a child-free afternoon."

"With this voucher you can spend 3-4 hours doing anything you want knowing your children are in safe hands."

"Here is the gift of time - go on you deserve it."

I don't need anything else.

Well, maybe some cake. Yes, cake would be good.

Happy Birthday to me :)

Last week my boy was very excited by some visitors to his school (if you look really closely you will spot him on the far left of this picture):

The Fire Engine has a welcoming committee

He is such a big fan of firefighters that he also made a model of the fire station - I think it looks pretty amazing !

Lego fire station - with a fan for some reason

He made some 'fireworks biscuits' at school - I can't tell you what they tasted like as I didn't get one, but Daddy assures me they were delicious :)

No biscuits for Mummy :(

On Hubbie's birthday we went to a fireworks display and after years of him asking I finally let our boy get a glow toy. He was absolutely delighted with his 'Dragon Sword,' but we're not sure whether it's a light sabre or he's channeling the power of Greyskull (one for the teenagers there).

Now that stance means business !

I've spent my time wisely too though - wrapping Neo in a big fluffy blanket. Shuttup he loves it !!

Obligatory cat pic - you are welcome :)

And on my walk to work this week I stopped for a moment to take in the scenery of Covent Garden's Christmas lights - if you look in the distance you'll spot a silver deer.

Early morning at the market

Normal service will resume when I'm not so exhausted - no idea when that will be though :)

Neo's idea of bliss

I watched my boy come into the room where we had his surprise party on Sunday and he stopped and stood just taking it in. Then he spotted me and ran over and gave me the biggest hug and his face broke into an enormous smile as all his little classmates ran over to hug him and wish him a happy birthday.

We've been planning this party for weeks now and it was like a military operation. I woke up on Sunday morning with an aching back and a long list of things still to do. All of that faded away as I saw him running wildly around with his friends playing games and enjoying himself.

It reminded me that I have to stop and take time to look around sometimes and remember the tiny things that make me smile and feel warm inside. Things like:

• Climbing into the 'marshmallow bed' - the winter duvet newly unpacked and fluffed and the thick mattress topper that makes lying in the bed feel like being enveloped by a massive marshmallow.

• Wearing one of Hubbie's jumpers or sweatshirts that's way too big for me - tucking my feet under and make a cocoon to get cosy in.

• Showing my boy photos or videos of when he was a baby and his asking what he was like 'back then,' like it was donkeys years ago.

• Catching the cat and the boy asleep on the sofa together, or watching TV or in the kitchen nabbing treats while they think I'm not looking.

• Waking up to find my son asleep next to me and wandering downstairs looking for Hubbie only to discover him watching baseball with the cat sitting next to him.

• Making a cup of tea and settling down to drink it while the boy is at school and Hubbie is at work - more than that, actually managing to finish the whole cup while it's still hot (ok, warm then).

• Sitting inside in the warm listening to the rain outside pattering onto the windows and knowing there is nowhere I have to be other than where I am.  

• Going for a swim and having the whole pool to myself - bliss !  

My boy made me a special picture

I apologise for not writing a 'proper' post today, but it's my birthday you see. Of course I realise it's completely undignified to make a big deal about it at my age - don't be cheeky, I'm not telling you. Me and Hubbie rarely get time, just the two of us, so today he took the day off. This being real life he had to go into work this evening, but we still got to spend the day doing things we like.

A lovely surprise delivery today :)

So firstly we packed the boy off to nursery. He loves it when Hubbie is around for the nursery run, dontcha just love being the 'invisible,' less popular parent ? Then we went for a swim together. Usually one of us is keeping the boy occupied in the kiddie pool, but today we swam side by side. I'm a fairly solitary swimmer so it was a moot point, but still nice.


Then - after a bit of social media surfing (obvs) - I put on a nice dress, make-up and even heels (Hubbie nearly fainted with shock) and we went out for a nice lunch. I had a glass of wine and we chatted while the rain pattered on the windows and the staff effortlessly glided around us delivering delicious food. It was blissful :)

The boy went to Abigail's party this afternoon. Hubbie was so amused he kept mentioning Demis Roussos and cheese and pineapple on a stick - which I've only ever had when my friend Lou had a party years ago and I was so surprised I recall telling my Mum, "No it's a real thing, white people eat it at parties !!"

We got the invitation month ago and I didn't even know who she was, but clearly she goes to his nursery and never one to turn down a party I scanned it for the date and panicked when it didn't have one so I thought it was that Saturday. Turns out it was actually today and we could make it so we sent an RSVP saying he'd be delighted to go.

Planning today was a little more complicated than we had hoped for as the boy stayed with my parents last night and me and Hubbie stayed at a hotel so the first thing we had to do was get back home. Then I did that thing where I wanted to make sure we all go to do something we enjoy today so that meant the boy going to his party, Hubbie going to football and me going for a swim.

The logistics of this meant that the only way to make it work was a strategic and perfectly timed plan:

1.30: Hubbie takes the boy to the party on the bus
1.45: After tidying the lunch stuff I go for a swim
2.30: I drive to the party to take over from Hubbie and he leaves for the match
3.30: Party finishes and I take the boy to the football ground to meet Hubbie at half time
3.45: The boy and Hubbie watch football and I walk 3 miles in training for the Moonwalk

Neo and friends :)

So Hubbie and the boy made it to the party and I went for my swim. I was rushing to make sure I was on time for Hubbie to get to the football, so I didn't get to swim as far as usual or to dry my hair, but it was sunny so that was ok. On the way to the party I got stuck in traffic behind a massive Tesco lorry that was reversing into a residential road for some reason. I was now panicking quite a lot as it was perilously close to 3pm and I wanted to ensure Hubbie would make it for the start. It was clear this wasn't going to happen.

I sent Hubbie a text to say I was in traffic and he sent me one saying he'd been offensive about teachers and both Abigail's parents teach. I rolled my eyes and pasted on a smile as I walked to the door of the house. When I arrived at the party I met Abigail's lovely parents - she's Aussie and possibly pregnant, but I wasn't going to cause offence by asking. It turned out that ours was the only boy invited to the party and I half wondered if it was because he has a Punjabi name and they didn't realise he's not a girl, but it turns out that Abigail had said she loves to play with him at nursery so he was surrounded by girls - including Abi's older sister and her friend - he was in his element !!

Hubbie handed me an open packet of milky bar buttons (which I don't buy so they were a real treat) and we did the official handover. He left for the footie. Kids were assembled around to cut the birthday cake and my boy sat next to Abi, started the singing and scoffed pizza, cake and jelly tots. I knew we'd pay for it later, but hey it's a party.

I got a text from Hubbie saying the footie wasn't on. I rolled my eyes at the ceiling.

So, I didn't need to rush around all afternoon to make sure they got to where they needed to be on time. I could have taken my time and swum 40 lengths instead of the 20 I had to make do with. I didn't have to drive in Saturday afternoon traffic to get to the party to drop off the car and do 'parent tag.' I could have had an afternoon doing what I wanted to and they could have stayed at the party with Hubbie talking about music with the Dads and the boy being fussed over by girls while rifling through the dressing up box.

When Hubbie got back to the party he got 'the wife stare.' You know the one where your face is smiling, but your eyes are saying, "what the merry hell do you think you are doing ?" I had sacrificed my Saturday afternoon so that I could politely sip a horrifically weak cup of tea and thanks to my diet I couldn't eat the cake or pizza. We did some bonding as parents of threenagers and it was a lovely party, but to be honest I hadn't planned on the stress it took to get there. All Hubbie had to do was check the game was on and he hadn't even done that !! I rolled my eyes again.

Then I put on my walking trainers and set off to walk the 3 miles home.

He's so lucky I wasn't in the car going home !

I was sorting out the Christmas presents that I've bought so far into piles on the floor of the front room yesterday. I do this every year so I can see if everyone has roughly the same number - important when
you have siblings - and I always have far too many for Hubbie and the boy and a much smaller pile for my Dad. He has fewer despite having a birthday on Christmas Eve and it's because he has no hobbies or interests and is not the most gracious at receiving presents. I always buy him something, but long gone are the days when I tried to get things he'd like and now I make sure it's something he can use. As a family we used to always play safe and give him Baileys or whiskey and lots of chocolate, but a few years ago he was told he was diabetic so the 'safe' presents became anything but. It does lead to some genuinely unimaginative present choices like gloves on his birthday and a matching scarf on Christmas Day - which of course he says he doesn't need.

Anyway, the present sorting, then wrapping and transporting to give to various family and friends is an annual event so our cat has witnessed it for a few years now. That is the only way I can explain what happened this morning. Before I tell you the story you need to know some pertinent facts:

1. I am short-sighted, not badly, but enough for things to appear blurry if I'm not wearing glasses

2. From the beginning I believed Neo - the cat - was a buddhist with 'love all living things' attitude to life

3. There are a lot of leaves in our garden and when Neo comes inside the house he often has them stuck in his tail

So this morning I was in the kitchen making a cup of tea and getting some breakfast when I heard the cat flap clatter shut and heard Neo announce his arrival. I glanced over at him and said, "Morning Neo, been bringing in leaves again have we ? Ooh that's a big one isn't it ?" As I went to leave the kitchen the 'leaf' scurried past my foot. My screams alerted Hubbie (eventually) and he came down to deal with the matter still wet from the shower and holding his towel round him in one hand and - after some coaxing - the mouse in another. Then I remembered how he used to hide Neo's kills from me so that I would not be disabused of my insane belief in the cat's non-existent buddhism. They were in it together. Neo bringing in gifts and Hubbie taking them outside again.

So the cat is channeling his inner feline Santa and Hubbie is enacting a literal interpretation of Mice and Men.

Ho Ho Ho.