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Sports

Baseball, Sports
Salivating Brewers Fans Chase Down Mascots In Sausage Race
MILWAUKEE—Climbing down from the stands with mustard and ketchup packets clutched in their fists, dozens of rabid, salivating Milwaukee Brewers…

Sports
Report: That’s Enough Soccer For Now
Sports
Washington Wizards Announce Founding Wizard Dead At 682
Sports
Player Profile: Lionel Messi
Baseball, Sports
Nation Decides Baseball Too Fast Now

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Sports
German World Cup Fan Can’t Believe How Different Real U.S. Is From Depiction In Pixar’s ‘Cars’
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Admitting that the vast gulf between media depictions and reality had come as a total shock, German World Cup fan Fabian Lindemann told…
Baseball, Sports
All Mets Fan Asking For Is One Fucking Season Where Team Wins Every Single Game
FLUSHING, NY—Asserting that it was the least the franchise could do to reward the loyal fanbase that had stuck with the team through so many…
Sports
Eric Adams Among Lineup Of Children Escorting Turkey Players Onto Pitch
Basketball, Sports
Giannis Antetokounmpo Takes Out Full-Page Ad Thanking Bucks Fans For Not Eating Him
MILWAUKEE—Following his blockbuster trade to the Miami Heat, former Milwaukee Bucks superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo took out a full-page ad in The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Wednesday…
Sports
Beer Delivery Driver Points Trembling Shotgun As Crowd Of Scottish Soccer Fans Close In
MIAMI—Whispering a final goodbye to a wallet photo of his wife and two young daughters, beer delivery driver Marcus Dailey jumped down from the cab…
Sports
Wilson Unveils Tennis Balls With Even More Smell
CHICAGO—Calling the update a major breakthrough for players who enjoy new-ball smell, Wilson Sporting Goods officials unveiled a new line of tennis balls Tuesday that…

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Sports
World Cup Chant Not Racist Enough To Catch On
Sports
No One At Bar Aware World Cup Game Rerun From 2018
Golf, Sports
PGA Announces All Caddies Must Be Leashed
Basketball, Sports
New York City Mayor Presents Knicks With Key To His Car
Basketball, Sports
OG Anunoby Sends Parade Crowd Into Frenzy With Celebratory Nod
Basketball, Sports
Millions Of New Yorkers Show Up To Celebrate Plucky Underdog James Dolan

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Escaped Giraffe Unable To Be Located
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Drone Network Used To Smuggle Contraband Into Prisons

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Salivating Brewers Fans Chase Down Mascots In Sausage Race
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