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Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts

Monday, September 10, 2018

Mom's Birthday Weekend

This weekend was my Mother's birthday.  We went up to Corvallis and helped her celebrate.  A number of her friends were there -- I haven't seen many of them for years, and there's always a moment of superimposing what I remember them looking like with what they look like now.  On top of this, we ran into my sister's best friend, who looks suprisingly like how I remember her mother looking fourty years ago.  Reflecting on this phenomenon, it seems funny that we say, "Oh, how you've grown!" to young teenagers, but we don't say it to septuagenarians or octogenarians.

Early this morning I dreamed...

I was staying in a strange town, maybe Northfield.  I think I was visiting M.H. or attending some sort of folklore or mediaeval conference.  I'd booked a room in someone's house and decided to extend my stay, but there were complications and the nice room I'd been in was going to be rented out to someone else.

In another part of the dream, I was an extra in a show. with a menacing, Giant Dragon Marionette.  Mostly I stayed back stage while the GDM swooped over the stage right and stage left exits from audience balcony.  Stage left and right were restrictive, square tunnels--if the GDM caught you there there was no place to hide from its breath.  Thinking about it in waking life, the stage was from the old Corvallis High School.  There was a shift and the play became a little more real, and the cast was working together to deal with an actual swooping dragon.  I brought out a wind-up mouse/car smoke device and then scurried back stage again--this was vaguely helpful.  There was a musical quality to the action, but I don't recall any songs. 

At the end, a woman in black poofy clothing thanked me for delivering the wind-up smoke bomb, and told me to get out.

Somewhere else in the dream, I walked into a cafe music performance.  There was a lot of dark wood panelling, and the floors were wood as well.  There was a tallish musician in a duster / trench coat / black leather jacket.   It wasn't Neil Gaiman, but in waking life I'm thinking it sure looked like him.  He had a dark pillar-like folk instrument which was a cross betwee a bass (large), an oboe (black and columnar), and a therimin (touching the column at different heights produced a kind of therimin sound).  The musician invited me to play, and I rested the column against my shoulder and placed my hands upon it.  It began to thrum, and the next thing I knew, I was playing the "Skye Boat Song." I got better and better at it, producing harmonic fifths and chords to acompany myself.  

There was a strong sence of processing the music as I was playing, and there was also a strong emotional resonance within me that this was the most beautiful music I had ever played.  Ever.    The dream ended with me hanging off of Not Neil Gaiman's leather jacket, tearful and wondering how I had managed to create a Marvellous Song.

I had "The Skye Boat Song" in my head most of the morning.  Um, I like it, but I'm sort of bemused that my dream self would be struck through the heart with it.  

Friday, April 13, 2018

Gym and Sleep Deprived Dreams

Went to the gym Wednesday (4/11):  25 minutes and 300 calories on the Nordic Elliptical.  Downstairs 13x(40+50+60)lbs on the pec fly.  13x(30+40+50)lbs on the deltoid fly.  13x(70+80+90)lbs on the lat pull-down.  3x13 Roman Chair curls.  3x13x35lbs barbell curl.  3x13x40lbs on the triceps pull-down.  2x8x7lbs on side and lateral pull ups.

I felt tired and went to bed early with the grand plan of getting up early to write -- and woke up at 2 AM with a slightly upset stomach.  And sore joints  There was a brief interlude where I went out to look at Scorpio and Jupiter; and Spencer--who was looking in our sliding glass door at Cicero and Smmokey--zipped into our house; and I got a glass of milk; and I moved to the couch so I wouldn't disturb Mark's sleep with my tossting and turning.

I thought about writing at 2 AM... and if it had been a Saturday mornging, I would have.  Instead I let the renaissance music play in my mind's background and observed varous thoughts about work and the novel and my body falling apart and whatever else percolate.

At one point I had a vision of a glowing yellowish-green point which grew into a sphere and filled most of my sight.  Three people were walking through a wood, and then a woman's shoulders and upper head filled the sphere -- it was like looking at an old black-and-white TV (only black-and-green would be closer).  In writing this I've realized that on one level I was replaying the Wicked Witch of the West's cyrstal ball, but at the time I made a mental note to myself that this is how a clairovoant spell would work.  The vision continued, and woman's head multiplied and disintigrated into seperate facial features.  I don't recall what she was saying--there might have been no sound--other than it was vaguely Sybil-like.    

Insert more lucid moments of wondering what time it was at 3:07 AM,  and 3:32 AM, and 4:01 AM and 4:22 AM.

I had been negotating some sort of business deal involving bank loans and stock options while seated in what turned out to be a Victorian Steampunk Sex Museum (Wait, those machines actually still work?  Wait, why are those--  Uh, Ouch! _That_ can't be healthy.)   Our negotiations slowed to a halt.  The proprietess stormed in muttering about keeping the establishment family friendly and turned things off.  A horde of teens dressed in animal costumes was shooed out of a doll house area, and one young man agrily shouted, "Oh my God woman!  You can't get rid of the monsters!"  As he and another glowering young woman stormed by our table, I muttered, "Put the monsters into your head."  

Insert more lucid moments of wondering what time it was at 5:07 AM,  and 5:42 AM, and 6:04 AM and 6:32 AM.



Thursday, November 16, 2017

Dream: Sexy Reed Flood

This is a dream from mid-October, that I'm just now getting around to posting.

I dreamed I was at a Reed College event -- sort of a cross between Renn Faire, Reed Reunion, and a Eugene-style, boat-show, gay-pride, pagan-pride festival.  In real life the cats must have been making noise, because Mark and I ended up in a vet booth.  Which might have been a science booth.

Through a series of (ahem) events, I ended up with a hunky guy's cell phone.  (He was the dream son of a real Reed professor--oh dear, I've just noticed the obvious Freudian pun on the last name) , and earlier in the dream, I told him the real-life story of how his father had taken a friend of mine to a fancy restaurant and (over the protestations of his wife) taught him how to turn a drinking straw into a primitive reed instrument.  (In real life I had told this story to The Child the previous day, so it must have been on my mind).  

The phone was an Apple iPhone, but it was square and had a clamshell cover.  None of the buttons worked quite the way I thought they would.  I tried to use the phone to tell someone that I'd found the phone (and possibly they had mine)  Despite the earlier (ahem) events, I had wondered in the back of my mind if Dream Guy was gay -- then the contacts' avatars and text messages I saw before I became hopelessly confused by the phone's OS convinced me that he was.  

Mark and I wandered around, and were near Elliot Hall when a flood hit.  The Reed Canyon somehow had the Willamette River in it, and a sudden downpour had it flooding its banks and the tall pines along the banks were being pushed back and falling over.  The water rose toward Elliot Hall and inundated the basement (in the dream somebody said something about the Psych Department, but they moved out of the basement in something like 1995).  

The water hit an underground relay station, or something, and there was an explosion like lightning.  People were yelling and running away.  More water was coming up out of ?Eliot Circle? or the field in front of Elliot Hall:  a large mound pushed itself up and water flowed out of it in several small streams.  There was a little bit more, but I don't recall it.

What strikes me in waking life is that three dream motifs:  The Reed Campus, a river, and flooding, came together in a combination that's new to me.   This dream almost counts as a dream-knot dream, but it's missing a holistic element to it that the others have.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Writing Retreat Dreams

I'm at the beginning of day three of a four day writing retreat.  It's just me in a rental at McKenzie Bridge.  My writing output is okay, but my story is stalling:  I'm working on stories set on Venus, and I want to submit one to a particular market with the theme of "darkness" ... only that's not what's coming out.  

So I go to sleep hoping for dream stories I can write.  What do I get?   

+ Dreams about farting, and identifying the farter.

+ a segment where a talking cat repeats my sister-in-law Maria saying, "Oh my Gawd.  Dat's disGUISTing." in a gravelly voice.  It was like a parot, and the cat was repeating a much longer dialog along the lines of somebody telling Maria something like going to the beauty salon to have armpit hairs plucked.  All of this is coming out of a cat that's sitting on a chair grooming itself.  Everyone is listening, and when the cat says, "Oh my Gawd," they almost fall over trying not to laugh because they know "Dat's disGUISTing" is coming next.

+  Really large wasps coming out of a pear I was eating, and who now think I'm some kind of pear because I've got pear juice on my hands or something.  Batting them away as they strafe me isn't very effective.

+ Mark has rearranged the kitchen -- moving the sink, the stove, and adding a new sink.  This was somehow related to the wasps and pears and I was trying to clean something up and I used the sink that wasn't connected to a pipe and so the water came out on the floor.

+ A roving band of folks fund-raising for The Child's school appeared to make funding pitch.  It's like a progressive cocktail party with kids.  While a Committee Mom is telling me about the benefits of Montesouri, her two kids have turned a hose on and are spraying some of Mark's watercolor and oil paintings on the wall.  
"Whoa, whoa!  They need to stop that," I say.
Other parents with cocktails and kids continue to hold a party in my house.
"Oh, but isn't it interesting how they're learning about art?" Committee Mom says.
There's some more, but sensing the social ackwardness, the fund-raisers leave.

+ Something about stray pets and owners and a floating cat head. 

+ Evil crime-lord children with giant lego guitines.  I think there was something about "paying someone back" and union-busting New York sewer workers.

+ Finding myself in Central Park as Burt Ward playing Dick Greyson watching Caesar Romaro as The Joker -- the Clown Prince of Crime, dressed in a white tail coat jacket with thin puprle pin-stripes, joins some little girls in a game of jump rope and leads the kids in a new counting chant about wanting to see Batman's underwear.  All the kids join in; all the Gotham parents are hapless.  Since I can't reveal my secret identity and punch the Joker, I try to derail the song by shouting, "Batman already wears his underwear on the outside!"  The song changes from "show us your underwear" to "show us your wiener and balls."

I wake up with the chant "wiener and balls" fading as gentle chimes of the iPad wake me.  Should  I phone home ? --  the last two segments were obviously something The Child would dream, so maybe he dreampt about my stories set on Venus?

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Working out and Dreams

Working Out:  I've been to the gym, but I've been behind logging:   Saturday:  25 minutes and 280 calories on the elliptical; 3X12X60 lbs on the pec fly; 3X12X80 lbs on the pec fly; 3X12 hanging curls; um...  2X20 scissor kicks (or whatever they're called); 3X8 diagonal side-crunchs;  3x8X10lb shoulder shrugs; 3X12X10lbs overhead triceps curls; 3X12X30lbs triceps pull-downs; 3X12X30 lbs barbell curls, plus assorted free-weights.  

MONDAY:  200 minutes and 200 calories on the elliptical; 10 minutes for about 103 calories on the rowing machine. 3X12X60 lbs on the pec fly; 3X12X80 lbs on the pec fly; 3X12 hanging curls;  3x8X10lb shoulder shrugs; 3X12X30lbs triceps pull-downs; 3X8 diagonal side-crunchs (which I think is good for straightening my lower lumbar area); 3X12X30 lbs barbell curls, plus assorted free-weights. 

Writing:  Bad news: the iMac hard drive has crashed and might be dead.  This means no MacOS Scrivener, which means no syncing stories with SimpleNote.  At least my projects were backed up and I can use Scrivener for Windows.  Good news: I picked up an abandoned manuscript from May and it's not quite as hopeless as I thought.  Also, I managed to find a place to have my writing retreat in late August.

Dreams:  I'm pretty sure the cat must have been grooming my head as I slept because in the middle of running around a large government building, which was light and airy, with lots of lightly stained hardwood paneling, wooden banisters, and an open atrium.  The dream had been about standing in lines to receive some kind thousand-dollar refund, when I was suddenly seeing my doctor (not The Doctor nor my regular care-provider) who recommended installing a small metal box on the top of my head.  He had two casually dressed twenty-something interns do the installation, which was an out-patient procedure.  I sat on a kitchen chair while the long-haired woman fiddled around with the back of my head.  Every so often I'd feel a pinch, and then I'd feel and hear a vibration on my head.  I think they had to drill into my skull to set the box (the details weren't very clear)  It was supposed to be relaxing and the vibrations were supposed to enhance your senses (especially vision).  But it was mostly like having a vibrating back messager stuck to the back of your head.

The doctor came back (we might have been outside along a rocky river shore at this point) and asked how I felt.  I wasn't feeling much benifit, was a little miffed that my hair had been cut as part of the procedure (and I hadn't been warned), and had a case of sticker-shock when he told me making the device permanent would cost $2000.  

I think I woke up at this point, and thought, "Great, I'm dreaming doctors are putting metal boxes in my head."  At least it wasn't a box that recorded and controlled my thoughts.  

Switching to a different dream... I had another one of those hypnopompic visions the other day.  I opened my eyes and saw a man-sized shadow standing in our bedroom doorway.  It grew less substantial, turned and walked away down the short hallway and toward the kitchen. 

There was no menace, but no sense of beneficial protection, either.  In those moments between dreaming and wakefulness, I always wonder if there really is someone in the house.  Maybe the house is haunted.  Maybe my robe, or a towel, hanging off of the door is tricking my sight.  Maybe the pollen is affecting my sleep cycles.  Maybe some shadow of the night, curious about sleepers, had walked into the house to see how people dreamed, and once I was awake, I was no longer of interest.

Sunday, March 06, 2016

Labyrinth, Dreams, and Memories

Sometimes I dream I'm walking through a large mansion.  Other times, I'll be trying to get to an airport, and I half to walk through suburban neighborhoods where all the streets are thwarting me by dead-ending or running in long perpendicular swaths across my path.

Another labyrinth dream Saturday morning.

I was at my grandmother's old farmhouse, or a house like it near the coast.  The house had been built around 1900 out of wood.  The interior was dark, with darkly stained wood and dark fraying fabric.  The house was falling apart; the lower two floors were mostly intact, but the upper forth floor was falling apart.  I walked up some rickety stairs and up to the third floor and realized the house was a house in a house.  The landing was rotting away, and the floor had the feeling of having once been a roof, but above me was the shell of an outer house.  

I don't remember much about what happened in the dream.  My mother's family was there, and there was some labyrinthine moments going from room to room.  A family ritual of some sort was happening; I think family members who had died long ago were being disinterred and cremated and their ashes were being taken in a silver urn to a special place.  

Over all of this was a sense of an impending tsunami.  

Coincidentally, at a writing conference today, one of the workshop exercises was to remember a childhood incident and work with it.  What came to the forefront was a memory about visiting the old farmstead, getting lost in the woods surrounding it, and sub-sequentially striking onto an old gravel road and hoping that it would lead me back to the farm (it didn't exactly, but I did get back).  

While it was interesting to make the connection between labyrinthine dreams and getting lost at the farmstead, the issues surrounding the memory made it difficult to write and made me think about writing characters and writers writing therapy.


Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Strange Dreams

Lately my dreams have been more memorable and vivid, and I should make an attempt to wrtie them down.

In the one Monday morning, I started out as a re-enactor in a Roman campaign or documentary.  As the dream progressed it became more like I was flipping back and forth between two alternate realities; one where I was a Roman centurion arrayed for a battle along a river, and another where I was house-sitting for my parents and helping one of their (non-reality-based) older neighbors.  

As a Roman, I remember wading through a river and we had a convict or slave or captured soldier tied up in a small boat/canoe that we were going to sacrifice to Mars (or something).  There was a scene where we had children in our ranks, and there were three squads of them playing horns:  the oldest did a proper "it's time to sleep" horn call, the next, kids around eight, did a simplified version.  I forget what the third squad did.  I remember being given permission to go on leave, and I did, but somehow I knew that we had our marching orders, so I was dragging out returning as much as I could. 

I'm thinking the house-sitting segments of the dream happened when I was "off site" from the Roman campaign.  As the dream progressed, the re-enactment parts became more real and less acting.  At one point I remember telling her (the neighbor) that I would get back to her (she was moving or packing out of her largish house) but that if I got my marching orders, I'd be unavailable. 

Tuesday morning.  I remember I was in a medieval setting.  I want to say I was a minstrel or a Robin Hood figure.  There was a very large castle set on top of a craggy green hill.  The recall isn't so good on this dream.  There was a Queen in White, who wanted to support her Lord, but he wasn't very nice.  There was a Young Princess of the Meadow, who was the love interest in the dream.  There was a older Tyranical King, who wanted to lock me (the Minstrel) up but I'm not sure if it was because the Princess was going to marry me or someone else I was helping, or because I was really the ruler of the Land and he only ruled the Castle.  There was a lot of musical numbers, with me singing to the Princess in the wooded meadow below the hill... and there was a scene climbing up the outside of the castle in order to hide among the chimneys (?from the King?).  

Then it turned into a trying to walk through a labyrinthine neighborhood dream (or possibly a college campus), only I could fly.  This did not stop me from accidentally trespassing into somebody's yard while they were trying to trim trees or build a bridge between two stone arch things while they worked from three ladders lashed together.

Wednesday morning.  All I remember was that I was at an outdoor craft faire, which may or may not have been renaissance themed.  There was an awkward extended family problem, like someone's great-uncle had died, or someone's young little-girl cousin was having Issues, or something (I suspect the soap-opera family relations from Agents of SHIELD affected my dreams.)  I was flirting with someone, and what really sticks out from this dream was that he touched the back of my hand (maybe the cat wanted something and was batting my hand?).

Working Out:  Tuesday.  200 cal in just under 20 minutes on the rowing machine.  3x8 at 15, 14, 13 on the chin/dip assist.  3x12x50lbs on the pec fly.  3x12x80lbs on the lat pull-down.  3x13 curls.  2x12x12lbs  overhead triceps curls

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Let's Do It

Sunday afternoon I was indolent.  I had been craving hot cocoa, so I made some, enjoyed it, and promptly had a sugar-crash.  At least I got a workout in earlier in the afternoon.

The latest song that's become our favorite to sing is Cole Porter's "Let's Do It."  Mark observed that innuendo songs were nothing new, and found a clever early ninety's reworking of the song with references to Liberace, authors, and various English lords.  This has inspired us to make our own verses.

I think the difficulty is getting words like Eugene, cyclists, and Oregon to fit in the meter of the song.  

William Blake, burning bright, did it.
Chuck Palahniuk with a fight, did it.
Let's do it; let's fall in love.

Cyclists who ride side by side do it
on the streets of Eugene.
Drivers who text do it,
and it makes them careen.




Monday night I woke up around 1 AM certain that I'd heard something in the garage--you know when there's a memory that straddles sleep and wakefulness:  it's not the noise that wakes you, it's the memory of the noise.  I woke up enough to wander around the house looking for hooligans.  Our neighbor's garage proximity light turned on, so a raccoon or a cat or wayward bar-and-grill patron must have activated it.  A little over a half hour later, I went back asleep, only half-convinced the noise that woke me was the refrigerator or a hard drive or the ticking of a baseboard heater.

And then I proceeded to have Processing With People dreams.  I was suddenly in a strange town, but I had been living in the Reed College house known as The Motel Six; so I was sad that it had broken up, and I was trying to get KKMHK (whom I haven't seen in over a decade) to move in with me, and we kept having these odd financial discussions while wandering through an empty apartment.

In another dream, I was going to take a hot-air balloon ride (the balloon was very home-made and kind of small).  I was going to fly with someone, who kept changing throughout the dream.  At the end, it turned into someone who said 1) they were Muslim, 2) they were in love with me, 3) because their love was forbidden, they couldn't be alone with me in any circumstances--but they wanted to confess their feelings so that when they started shunning me I'd understand why.  There was something more about talking with a psychologist along the lines of what must be going through their head.

I woke up thinking "Huh?"  

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Angsty Dreams

I guess I'm not as fully recovered from the weekend as I thought I was; I was pretty tired yesterday (Monday) and I had a very slight case of vertigo (my ears must be congested or something).   Anyway, I thought I'd be more productive than I was.

Dreams lately have been angsty .  In one, I was two twin boys, until I was the twin caught in an evil doctor's office (lots of screaming and yelling in that one).  In another, Mark and I were wandering around, lost -- I think we were lost on a hike, or lost in a building, but it was the usual stuck in a labyrinth motif.  The latest was discovering that The Child was trying to feed Smokey our cat and another mystery cat, and he'd opened two cans of cat food and plopped them in water bowls and filled the bowls with five cups (at least) of dry kibble, and the both bowls were turning into a soupy mess which the cats were mostly tracking around the kitchen.  And then The Child did something like smear the cat food all over the walls and himself... and I'm standing in the kitchen thinking, "Why the hell don't you have any common sense" and trying not to lose it.

Tuesday Night.

I dreamed that I was in a parade or something.  It was vaguely Renaissance Faire.  Mark was there, and at one point I was reclining in a rectangular fountain basin.  The fountain was the backdrop in a circular amphitheater setting (very Soleri-esque) with ramps spiraling around the seating area.  At various parts of the dream I would either be in shorts, or naked, or else wearing a kind of merfolk tale (which might have been a artfully twisted green blanket).  

A procession of horns ... no that's not right, maybe it was a procession with just one singer singing  Greensleeves came down the ramp, and the costumed people standing in front of the fountain couldn't quite hear the words or the tune.  I started singing because I could hear what was going on, and some robed people in front of me picked up the tune.  

There was a break... and a fine, fit man had joined me in the fountain.  He ran a hand over my merguy tail and made a comment about the fabric, and I thanked him for the complement and told him that I was in a monogamous marriage.  

There was something more about getting out of the fountain and finding mark in the outside mall surrounding the fountain in order to find some clothing.   And someone in a really large plush sun mask.

There was another break, and I was in an audience with Fer Horn.  This may have been after the fountain... A bunch of Renaissance performers were up on a stage, but the sound system wasn't working, and we couldn't hear them.  I noticed a rack of mics...   And then the duct tape in my socks started to crinkle very loudly (I don't know why there was crinkly duct tape wrapped around my feet under my socks), which Fer thought was very funny.  

Then there was something involving lots of wandering and swimming through or flying over a river... and something a family finding a lost puppy underneath a terra cotta flower pot during an outdoor garden performance.

So... stages and audiences, sexual tension, quests, and being heard or not.   I guess the next step is to ask myself who I'm not hearing, or what it is that I'm trying to tell.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Journal: Working Out Pronouns

Working Out:  I managed to make it to the gym Sunday and Tuesday.  Even though I'm trying to ease back into the routine, I still had sore legs Monday and Tuesday.  It also appears that I've pulled my right lateral muscle, so I've given up twisting exercise on the weights-on-strings machine.  Sunday I managed to do about 150 cal in 15 minutes (I'm always surprised when keeping a 750 cal / minute rate is easier when I think it should be).  Tuesday I managed 120 in 10 minutes.   One benefit of working out seems to be that my feet don't bother me so much afterward; I'm guessing my leg muscles must be limbering up and pulling on my big toe less.

Writing:  Working on a short story that's got a deadline for next week, at about 3500 words.  Tuesday, managed about 800 solid words  in about 90 minutes.  The piece I'm working on felt distant because I was writing in an epistolary style, so I'm adding (and reworking) sections to be in the POV of an alien, with the idea that I'll alternate.  The challenges are that the aliens are non-humanoid and require three sexes to reproduce and the POV alien is a zhe, so I'm writing "zhe waved zir arms" instead of "she waved her arms."  Which is difficult to remember to do... and properly, zir arms are really tentacles, but zhe wouldn't call them that.  OK, and the other challenge is figuring out time sense, since the alien's planet is a "blue moon" about the size of earth rotating and tidally locked to a gas giant:  this means that noon to noon takes about seven days' time (and at noon on the gas-giant side of the planet there will be a period of time where the gas giant eclipses the local star, and.... did I mention that I have to do all this in about 4000 words?

Dreams:  I did have a dream about my upcoming procedure, but all I remember about the dream was that I was uncomfortable and on an operating table.  I have a sense that the last few days I've been partially waking up around 2:30 AM and then processing stuff, which results in more "credo statement" dreams.  

Thursday, January 15, 2015

January Dreams...

Last week.  The other day I dreamed that I was listening to an old friend of mine sing a Renaissance song.  It started out sounding like "Kyrie", but it was a joke song, and the words changed to "Kiwi wee-wee"


Saturday night I dreamed I was flying over Reed College.  I'm not sure if I was in my cloak or not.  Sometimes it was difficult to fly -- it was partially concentrating on flying, partially some arm gesture where I held my arms rigidly at my side.  Flying over the brick buildings of Eliot Hall and the Old Dorm block is a dream motif I haven't figured out.  What was different in this dream, I had flown into some upper story garden, and gotten a hold of some deep red roses.  I wanted to fly over Reed sprinkling the petals and this was difficult for a reason that wasn't clear to me.


Monday night (I think) I had an Arcosanti dream; I had gone back to Arcoasnti and was working there again.  In the dream I had been working there again for about six months.  When I woke up, I had a confused moment when I tried to remember when I had gone back there to live.  


Last night I dreamed I was in a hospital.  (I think I'd had some sort of travelling dream before hand.)  As I'm writing this, I can feel that Wednesday's workout must have pulled the shoulder muscles connecting my pectoral muscle to my trapezium muscle, because in the dream I was in the hospital to have an operation involving my heart or my ribs or my blood or something.   Although at first I think I had just gone in for some sort of out-patient procedure.

The hospital was in a newish building.  My room was part of a quad of quads around a central station. The nurses were all little-old-lady kind, on the old side of middle aged, and kind of pudgy around the hands, wrists and jowls.  I have a vague sense I was in my Grandmother Agnes's living room at one point... probably because the furniture in the rooms was all browns and avocado greens and overstuffed.

Various family members, my parents (I think) and Mark were there.  Mark and my sister had a conversation about how I had taken out a loan so I could go to the hospital.   I was supposed to choose a bed, and I ended choosing one that was away from the nurses' station; I had a notion that this was bad because if something went wrong, the nurses wouldn't be right there to notice.

Suddenly, it was time for the operation.  By this time in the dream, the situation had change from some simple blood draw to major heart surgery or the surgical removal of a rib or under-rib lump.  It had gone from a local anesthetic to full anesthesia.  

The plump nurses wheeled me through a darkened corridor into an operating area.  Or else my POV shifted into one of the plump nurses.  She was confronted by a younger, slimmer, black nurse  The black nurse was really angry because the plump old nurses had goofed up a schedule or hadn't gotten the right authorization.  I think I POV jumped into the black nurse's head and she was grumbling about something.

Working out:  195 calories in 15 minutes on the rowing machine.   Imagining Over-The-Top Two Steps from Hell music made me laugh, but seemed to help me maintain a 825 calories per hour rowing rate.  I imagined I was in a rowing shell, on a dark lake reflecting stars which rippled in the wake as I fled from unknown menace.   I increased the weight from 15 to 20 on the forward lunge thing I do, and I think that's why I was sore Wednesday night.


Wednesday, January 07, 2015

The Cat, Dreams and Papercraft

Rough night sleeping.  The Smokey the cat was so active that I dreamed he had set up four or five tea lights at our feet on our bed and was racing around between them while Mark and I were dealing with fire at our feet.  It was one of those "what's that bright hot thing, what's the cat doing, I'm trying to sleep" sort of dreams.

I also dreamed I was at Reed speaking with my old thesis advisor.  I was telling him where we'd made mistakes about the whole project.  In the dream he had aged to something like seventy, and he was smaller and slighter than I remember him being in the mid eighties.  I think this dream was prompted by a WonderMark comic where various versions of a person meet and "Super-Old Self" tells his younger selves that if he warns them about what to expect, he'll jeopardize his own existence.  
In other news, here's some paper craft which lives in my office.  I discovered if you take the triangular pieces of paper, you can make something out of eight of them (instead of the twenty in the original design.   I haven't looked into it formally, but I think phi pops up when you put two equilateral triangles together so that they form opposite sides of a square with their bases.

Monday, December 01, 2014

First Monday of December

Looking back, I've gotten out of the habit of posting my workouts.  I was fairly good last week, I worked out Saturday, Monday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  I continue to do the rowing machine to about 160 calories or so.  I've switched my routine to the weights-with-strings station and I upped my dumbbells to 30 lbs.

I'm going to try doing planks at random times during breaks between other stuff; I tried it in the craft store the other day while I was waiting for the cutter-plotter to finish a job.

Later... this afternoon I did 200 calories on the rowing machine in 15 minutes.  And I managed not to drop a 30 pound dumbbell onto my foot laughing when "I Guess You're Just What I Needed" started playing.  

Writing... I submitted my erotica.  I think in terms of writing it was interesting because it forced me to write from a character's POV that I don't necessarily share.  When I'm writing science fiction or fantasy, it's hard for me not to be in the character's POV as they fly a starship or cast a spell.  When the POV character did something in this story, I thought, "Ugh. I would never do that."  Anyway, we'll see what happens. 

I finished up a short story to bring to the Wordos table for next week.  I also polished up a 800 word romance (still needs work).  I've got some other things that are close.  The writing goal for December is to finish up the half-completed drafts and polish up things the Wordos critiqued.  There's a prompt swap story I need to work on, and also the Wordo's holiday short.   And I should submit manuscripts now before the rejections start rolling in.

Dreams:  I had a Dr. Who dream, which turned into a Returning to Arcosanti Dream, which ended with me tearfully singing "Memr'y" from Cats with someone who had created a steam-driven foundry out of snow (The foundry was cool.  But the duet?  Really?  That was twenty years ago...and it was doomed before it began...).   I'm guessing this might have been sparked by reading about the tarot card Strength, because I did a Significant Tarot Reading for this person, which turned out to be more about me (sigh).

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Fever Dream: Mystic Dancing Octagon Cult

Maybe it's the last vestige of a cold.  Maybe it's all the Ricolas.  Maybe it's all the extra naps... But I had one of those never-ending, really wacky, totally detailed John Dreams.  I was more or less myself in my own body throughout the dream.  The most changeable aspect was the location  -- although looking back, the dream kept returning to octagonal structures.  The dream was more continuous that I'm remembering, and I'm guessing at the sequence.

It's also Extra Wacky -- all it's missing is a section with a Samba Beat where I and every character in the dream become cartoons and dance with two-dimensional foldy-ness into an origami symbol for the intersection of divinity with internet-enabled peanut butter.  That's a warning.

#

I was at some kind of birthday party, and there were two rival rock bands there.  It was like a teen-aged Josie and the Pussycats vs. the Evil Girl Band sort of thing.  There was the nicer three girl band versus the wilder, not so nice five girl band.

Folks were dancing in an octagonal performance space--I'm very strongly reminded of the Octagon at Arcoanti, a single story building made out of two meter long concrete panels with circular windows arranged around a octagonal pit living-room.  The dance was dark and it was difficult to see people at a distance, sort of like a dimly lit high school dance.

I think there was a musical sing off here, but I don't remember the conclusion (although it's likely the Josie and the Pussycats girls won).

#

A group of us were cleaning up after the birthday party or some gathering.

I was trying to return a empty soda bottle to the social hall's recycling area, except that my drink had had caffeine in it, and the religious beliefs of the people in the hall proscribed them drinking anything caffeinated, so I had to hang onto to bottle.

I'd left my shoulder bag in another hall far away --  we were in a high school or other large campus building with distantly located halls, so I began my wanderings through really long hallways.

#

I walked through a doorway.  The walls were yellow woven thatch, made of straw and sticks.  The door was a rough and warped plywood?  It had a Gilligan's island feel to it.  I believe I was at a zoo or natural history museum.

I was outside, on the banks of a swamp. It was day time, and I was on a narrow margin of dry ground running along and slightly above a swamp.  Three very large crocodiles sped out of the swamp toward me.  I had a dash of about thirty feet to another door.  On one hand I was up a ways, and the crocs would probably stay in the swamp area.

On the other hand, it was a dream, and I remember smacking a crocodile on the nose because it got too close.

I think there was a group of African folks behind me, and we were all waiting for the crocodiles to get distracted enough so that we could continue along our way.

#

I was on some sort of boat or else a museum tour.  At the time it didn't seem odd, but I was at the head of the tour and everyone else was a stereotypical fourteen-ish black student from Botswana in a school uniform of a white oxford shirt and dark slacks.  

The tour guide / boat steward was a prim, authoritarian fortyish woman.  We'd wound our way to the bottom of the boat on some kind of museum tour.  The concrete floor, slightly rough, and painted either a battleship grey or drab olive green, had about a eighth of an inch of standing water  puddling in places.  There were exposed pipes and ducts along the ceiling and walls.  We were walking on bright reddish-brown walkways of wooden slats -- which in waking life remind me of the wood deck chairs we own.

The authoritarian guide suggested that we take a nap.  So we all crowded into the end of a hall and lay down on the slats, trying to keep out of the pooled water -- which was pretty much impossible.  Most of us had to trail feet or hands in the water.  Even in the dream, I felt like I was in some kind of slave transport.

There were waterbugs in the water, and while they weren't like flying mosquitoes or leeches, they did have the tendency to wriggle up against one's legs and feet and browse for whatever it was they ate.

I got up and had a mop or floor squee-gee to try to get some of the water up off of the floor.  I had a "What Are You Doing?/That's futile" conversation with the docent where she seemed to be annoyed that I was trying to improve sleeping conditions.

#

I stumbled into a back room.  The entry way was supposed to be secret, but once you got to the door, it wasn't hidden or locked.  It was security through obscurity.  I somehow knew that I'd stumbled into an abortion clinic, which on one hand struck me as very progressive, but on the other hand seemed really weird for the cult (which seemed repressive), but back on the first hand for a medical procedure seemed really heavy on the woo-woo and very very light on the science.  In the distance there was a young teen mom lying on an examining couch.

The emotional atmosphere was tense, in a "We're doing this, but we're not really doing this, but although we publicly say we don't do this, we're following an approved method for doing this" official way from the staff and a "OMG, I'm sneaking into this place" way from the young moms.

The room was well lit, wide, and had a lot of pipes and ducts in it, like a mechanical or air handling room.  There were, at most, three young women getting abortions.  The only privacy was by placing the examining couches far enough away that the women and nurses could pretend no one was there.

"Do you mind," one of the nurses scowled at me and said in a hushed voice "we're helping a soul to commit suicide."

#

I'd entered a gathering hall for my bag, and discovered the beginnings of a religious service.  More people entered behind me, and although I wanted to leave, I was in one of those awkward dream moments when it seemed socially and physically impossible.

The congregation was mostly white older folks.  In waking life I'm reminded of the Unitarian congregation I hung out with several years ago.  But these folks were culty.  They were the elect and they knew it; they were socially conservative somehow; they were evangelical and full of public displays of rapturous spirituality; and they were smiley friendly because we had all come together to share the same dogma--or would be sharing the same dogma by the end of the service.  It was sort of like Baptist Pentecostals meet the Mormons, I think...

There was a lot of pageantry going on.  The congregation was in the middle, looking out a walkway where a procession traveled doing a kind of stations of the cross thing, except it was scenes of 19th and 20th century European Christian Mysticism more than anything else.

At one pint there was a tableau of a circle 1890's women hiking up their skirts and pressing opened blank books onto their vulvas.  Others rapturously held the books against their bosoms.  I have an impression they had inked themselves and were leaving embossed impressions on the pages.

There must have been a scene change, because now I looking down on an octagonal stage that had a book on it displaying the twelve or so holy books of the sect.  The one that I picked up was a slender picture volume by Robert Louis Stephenson (Or Percy Shelly).  I was surprised and impressed that the author was there and it lent a kooky legitimacy to the event.

I don't remember text, but the pictures were white-inked woodcuts on beige paper (yes, it was hard to see).  These were done in a Craftsman style which looked medieval .  In the woodcuts, women -- pretty much naked -- were holding  books against their bodies.  Heavenly, seraphic fire emanated from the contact and left behind mystic quasi-Hebrew runes on the books.  Think a drawing by tarot card artist Pamela C Smith or a woodcut by Sir Walter Crane, with lots of hod flames and rays mixed with cabalistic symbols meets the tablet scene from The Ten Commandments.

Throughout this whole thing was a sense of "We have to keep our dirty, dirty, inconvenient and embarrassing and sinful bodies ritually clean and covered so we can partake of this holy mystery."

#

I woke up and it was 4 AM and I was completely awake...








Monday, October 06, 2014

Productivity ?

Ugh. Had a bad Dr. Who nightmare so bad it woke me up.  I think it was mostly caused by too many covers on the bed and a slightly unsettled stomach.  Mark blames the Farscape marathon I had over the weekend; I blame too much ebola coverage.   I suppose the interesting twist on the Dr. Who dream was that The Doctor had been a hobbit (possibly Bilbo Bagins) before the main events of the dream.

This weekend was pretty much a recovery weekend from last week -- I don't know why the first week of classes this time around was so draining.  Mark and Arthur went to the beach.  I elected to stay home, partially because I was tired, and partially because I wanted to catch a movie the Anthropology channel was showing (and had planned to see for about two weeks).  

So, this weekend was also Getting Lost Weekend.  I got to the theatre for the movie about five minutes before it was to start, only to discover that I was at the wrong theatre.  Sigh.  Insert frenzied search for parking during a First Friday Art Walk and a zillion new students in the Titan Court area.  After about fifteen minutes, I decided that I'd only see the last 25 minuts or so of the movie and drove home.

Insert Marathon Farscape Binge here.

Saturday was laundry day and a departmental picnic.  The address in the invitation was for 1234 Adams Blvd, but the actual address should have been for Adams Court.  Insert 20 minutes of driving around in the 2300 block, wondering where the hell 1234 was.  Luckily, I recognized a co-worker walking toward Adams Court as I was fuming my way home.   

Had a fun time at the picnic, and went home with the intent of going to the gym to work out... except that because I'd been late, I'd stayed late, and then mis-remembered the gym's Saturday hours... so... more Marathon Farscape Binging!

Sunday I dragged myself to the gym right when it opened.  Then it was (more) laundry day.  It was pretty much all wash, dried and folded by the time the family got home.   Between the two days, I managed to get manuscripts in the mail, and I went through my in-progress manuscripts.  I have way too many unfinished manuscripts that I need to just focus on and finish over the next few weeks.

Monday morning I was still pretty tired, especially after waking up from the nightmare, so I didn't get a whole lot of writing done.  I did write up the Dr. Who dream; I wish I knew what triggered them because they're almost always unpleasant. 

Thursday, June 05, 2014

Tuesday Night Dreams

Tuesday night was a rough night for sleeping, and I woke up multiple times in the night.

The first dream was pure id wish fulfillment (OMG!).

In the second dream, I was trying to get home.  Home was a dream-splice of the current house, but it was located at "The Motel Six", the house I lived in Portland when I was going to Reed.  The dream was set in a kind of video-game world, and I was watching myself in a kind of Minecraft/Second Life way.  Mark was in the dream, and I think we were simultaneously in-world and watching at the same computer.  The world was glitchy, though, and every few minutes I'd walk across a buggy area, the system would lag, and then the screen would jump, my avatar would be hanging in black while the landscape flickered out and I'd end up re-mapped to a new section of the world.  I remember climbing up the hill from Reed along Knight street or something and then getting booted over to an underground stone cathedral.  When I tried to fly out of the cave, I hit another glitch-portal and wound up someplace new.

In the third dream, I was in my house, I think.  Only it was an apartment, and it might have been in New York.  It was the room in the southwest corner of our house.  The walls were covered with corrugated cardboard from floor to ceiling, which was slowly pulling away and revealing the real, bright yellow walls underneath.  (It took me a few hours of waking time to recall how many of Remedios Varo's paintings have rooms like this... EnergĂ­a cĂ³smica and ArmonĂ­a seem to be closest to what I dreamed, only the room in my dream was much lighter and cleaner.)

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Writer Anxiety Dream

The dream opens in progress...

Previously, had been something about a magician and his female apprentice in a fantasy setting.  I believe we were looking for something in a palace.

The dream shifted, and the contents of the previous dreaming had become a story I had written.  I was at an Established Author's house, in a room filled with Established Authors, and they were critiquing the hell out of my manuscript.

"Well, it's a good start," one said.

"I think you need to go back and Really Write this story," another one said.

In the back of my mind I was thinking, "Man, I'll need to critique what they've written, and I haven't read it yet."

In the front of my mind I was thinking, "Crap, they really hate this story."

At least I wasn't naked.

I woke up.  It's not too hard to figure out that it was a writing anxiety dream about what I'm currently working on.



Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Dreams of Late

Last night my dreams took a turn for the better, but lately I have been having a series of unpleasant dreams.  

The theme of one dream last week was "The Return of the Old Gods" meets "You Don't Know Who is in the Secret Kabal (Oh, and, everyone who could be on your side hates you)."   Part of the dream must have been inspired by "The Devil-Hound of the Baskervilles," because there was a dog who was conditioned by an evil alien demon.  

At one point Dr. Who was involved.  I really need to understand what the Doctor means in my dreams, because dreams with him in them usually have a feeling of smothering associated with them.  They sometimes have elements of the Labyrinth dreams--where I am usually stuck in a confining, very narrow tangle of passage ways and tunnels.

Then there was the animals dream--where what I thought was a weasel turned out to be a kind of narrow-nosed golden retriever.  It really looked like a weasel, though.  It snuck into our house, and I wasn't pleased in a "Oh great, a wild animal is in our house" kind of way.  Then the dream house--I want to say it was made up of mostly screen doors, but I might be splicing dreams together--turned into a kind of swimming pool and snakes were wriggling out of the faucets, and I wasn't pleased in a "Oh great, water snakes in the pool I'm in."  I was sure they were poisonous.   Luckily, the weasel was a snake-eating weasel.  I'm sure this dream is about my libido, but I just don't know how.

Finally, there are the Child in Peril dreams, which are straight-forward The Child is in Peril.  These usually involve New York City windows and ledges, but the latest one involved balancing along the stair railing in my parents' house.

Last night's dream was relaxing by comparison--for much of the night I was going over my current manuscript and tweaking the text.  In waking life, someone pointed out a way I could tweak the ending, which I like, and I think I was rehearsing adding that part in.  Also, Eric WItchey spoke to the Wordos last night, and I was probably rehashing what he said.

At the end, the editing turned into registering for a convention... and the last scene involved Wonder Woman, Dracula, and a youngish Dick VanDyke as a detective chasing an evil tatoo artist.

Dracula was most likely from the post-Wordos discussion, but in the dream he was a metaphor for writing.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Fortune Cookies and Dreams

Today is my first day back at the UO English Department as a technology consultant.  I'm looking forward to re-joining the team because they appear to still have a friendly esprit de corps.  Coincidentally, I got a fortune from a cookie last night which seems apropos: "You will be soon be part of a team.  Work cooperatively for success."  (Yes, there's an extra be in there.)

Last night's Chinese food probably is the source of the non-stop dreams I had...


I was working on a play.  All I can remember at the time was that I had written it, it involved a mailbox, and I'm guessing that it was supposed to teach astronomy.  I was working under a deadline, throwing all sorts of things together, and I needed an iMac with which to print the script for the rest of the small cast and also 3D print the mailbox.

The iMac I wanted to use belonged to another IT department (this was an amalgam department, which, now that I think about it, was housed in the rocky foundation of the Very Large Gazebo (which was possibly also a library or bookstore).  There was a kind of hand-shake agreement that I could borrow iMacs, but someone in the other department made a sudden decision that I wouldn't be able to.  I was furious.

So, I had to improv my one-man play (OK, there was an assistant).  Without a 3D printed mailbox.  I gave a lecture about the rotation and orbit of the Earth and how it produced the seasons, spinning a large multi-colored umbrella for the earth while I walked around my lovely youngish female assistant who held a beach-ball sun.  The lecture was delivered in Mock-Swedish, ala The Swedish Chef.


There was a break. I was climbing a mountain with Mark (or at least it started out Mark, but over the course of dream events we changed into other characters).  We got to the top, and it was snowy.  I don't recall why we were there: if it had started out as a regular hike, or if we were exploring a jungle, or if we had crashed on an island or what.  We decided to rest, and spent a lot of time trying to find a comfortable position to sleep (I wonder if I was tossing in my sleep, as the rocks and snowdrifts weren't all that cold, and seemed too easily moved; sort of like pillows).

Presently, there was someone singing "Where Are the Simple Joys of Maidenhood." and the upshot was that I was alternately a disembodied third-person observer or a twenty-something beardless man with longish curly hair.  There were two women climbing the mountain, an older matronly woman and a younger maiden.

I don't recall, but somehow we ended up in the roaring river which was suddenly there.  I guess I must have recalled that we were supposed to be on a mountain, because after flowing through some mountainy-mesa-y valleys, the river plunged over a cataract (one of three) and into a pool.  The matron was swept over the cataract, screaming, and into a clear blue pool in a very deep caldera.  Oddly, she wasn't drowned or smashed to pieces.  The waterfall, it turned out, was pouring over a lava vent, so there was hot lava at the bottom of the pool, and ash collecting on its rim.  Oddly, she didn't boil to death; so the water temperature must have been just right (snow run-off plus hot lava equals ashy hot-tub?)


Another break.  The maiden and I (as twenty-something) were in a wooden kind of house built into the side of the cliff next to the waterfall.  We were looking for someone.  I am not sure if the matron was with us, or stuck in the pool, or if we were trying to work our way down the house so we could get to the pool, or if we were trying to find a Dr. Livingston character.

In any case, the twenty-something went downstairs, where jungle natives blew air-darts into him.  (I must have dreamed about blow-darts earlier, because they seemed familiar somehow.)  He passed out and woke up with everyone in an overgrown, bushy, scrub-oak jungle.  There was a voice-over about gentle natives meeting brutal Europeans, the resulting conflict, and now how the gentle natives were angry vindictive natives who shot people.  Cue the parting bushes.  Cue a rifle barrel point out...

And I woke up.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Dreams and Writing

Crazy dreams lately.  Two nights ago I had a matchmaking dream for one of our friends... before that there was the hypnogogic mesh image that floated behind my eyelids before I fell asleep.  The other night I must have come out to at least two dream people.  I'm guessing that explaining to someone that some stories I write have gay characters because I'm gay might have something to do with that.

Last night I dreamed I was walking somewhere very icy and I had to watch out for cars sliding over an embankment and into me.  Then I was in a magic dream garden someone had decorated with lights and cut-out dioramas -- I think it was winter and spring in the garden at the same time, because I have a strong recollection of twiggy branches in the snow (lit up with small strings of lights) and verdant leaves and spring flowers (also lit up with lights).   I'm going to blame recent paper cutout art  projects for last night.

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On the writing front, during a recent writing excersice, I managed to crank out about 600 words in about 30 minutes.  I'm reminding myself about that when I notice that I "only have a half hour to write."    

Writing in the mornings this week hasn't worked out so well... except for the morning when I woke up sore, decided to take a bath, and floated with my ears underwater and the fawcet dribbling and the bathroom fan on and asked myself what the characters were going to do and worked out story problems.  (Yes, it's true, my joints are officially barometers, and if I wake up with my feet hurting then it probably rained over night.)

And, in my mind, Chris Hadfield is standing over my bed as I squint at the clock to see if I can sleep for just five more minutes, and he says, "...don't let life kick you into becoming the adult you don't want to be."  Ug.  I think becoming a Morning Lark would be easier in microgravity.  

And now, to the Day Jobbe.