[go: up one dir, main page]

The Unz Review • An Alternative Media Selection$
A Collection of Interesting, Important, and Controversial Perspectives Largely Excluded from the American Mainstream Media
 
Topics Filter?
2016 Election 9/11 Africa Albania American Media American Military Anti-Vaxx Antifa Arts/Letters Balkans Black Crime Black Lives Matter Blacks Cambodia China Christianity Civil Liberties Conspiracy Theories Covid Crime Culture/Society Donald Trump Economics Egypt Floyd Riots 2020 Foreign Policy Germany Globalism Government Surveillance History Hollywood Holocaust Ideology Immigration Israel Israel Lobby Israel/Palestine Japan Jews Laos Lebanon Mexico Multiculturalism Nationalism Obscured American Political Correctness Poverty Race Riots Race/Ethnicity Racism Russia Serbia South Africa South Korea Terrorism Thailand Unemployment Vietnam Vietnam War Vietnamese White Death Working Class World War II Academia Afghanistan Africans Albert Einstein America American Left American Presidents Americana Amerindians Amish Angola Anti-Semitism Antiracism Apartheid Architecture Asians Assimilation Brazil Brighton California Canada Catholic Church Censorship China Vietnam Chinese Communism Conservatism Crusades DACA Dallas Shooting Deep State Detroit Disease Diversity Drugs Ernest Hemingway Ethnicity EU European Right Farming Fast Food Feminism Flight From White Food France Free Trade Genghis Khan Globalization Greeks Gypsies Hassidim Hezbollah Hillary Clinton Hitler Homelessness Hong Kong Hungary Iceland Identity Iran Islam Italy J.M. Coetzee Jack London Jeffrey Epstein Kafka Korea Latin America Latinos Lee Kuan Yew Literature Macau Macedonia Malaysia Masculinity Middle East Minneapolis Moon Landing Hoax Mossad Movies Muslims Namibia Neocons New York City Occupy Wall Street Opioids Orlando Shooting Osama Bin Laden Paris Attacks Pennsylvania Philippines Poland Police State Pope Francis Population Post-Apocalypse Race Rap Music Recep Tayyip Erdogan Religion Russian Far East Science Shopping Malls Silicon Valley Singapore Slavery South China Sea Southeast Asia Soviet Union Spain SPLC Sports Stalinism Syria Taiwan Taliban The Bible The South Third World Thomas Jefferson Transgenderism Ukraine Wall Street Western Media White Americans White Nationalists Zionism
Nothing found
 TeasersLinh Dinh Blogview

Bookmark Toggle AllToCAdd to LibraryRemove from Library • B
Show CommentNext New CommentNext New ReplyRead More
ReplyAgree/Disagree/Etc. More... This Commenter This Thread Hide Thread Display All Comments
AgreeDisagreeThanksLOLTroll
These buttons register your public Agreement, Disagreement, Thanks, LOL, or Troll with the selected comment. They are ONLY available to recent, frequent commenters who have saved their Name+Email using the 'Remember My Information' checkbox, and may also ONLY be used three times during any eight hour period.
Ignore Commenter Follow Commenter

In the visual arts, there’s Egon Schiele who died at 28, Seurat at 31, and the photographer Francesca Woodman, who leapt from a window of a Lower East Side building at just 22 years of age.

In literature, there’s Hart Crane. Chugging from Mexico to NYC on a steamship, the 32-year-old poet couldn’t help but hit on some handsome sailors, so got thrashed. Totally trashed days later, Crane keeled overboard. “Goodbye, everybody!”

Sylvia Plath was just 30 when she gassed herself. Her fatal despair also fueled her enduring collection, Ariel, with its fantastically deranged yet much celebrated poem, “Daddy.”

The German-born Otto Plath was a biologist who published Bumblebees and Their Ways in 1934. When Otto died in 1940, Sylvia was just 8-years-old. Although there’s no indication he had any Fascist sympathies, Otto transformed into an uber Nazi in Sylvia’s imagination.

This isn’t just fine but necessary, according to the Jewish critic Marjorie Perloff, “The Age Demanded a universal theme—the rejection not only of the ‘real’ father but also of the Nazi Father Of Us All […]”

Lauding “Daddy” as “the ‘Guernica’ of modern poetry,” the equally chosen George Steiner comments, “Sylvia Plath is only one of a number of young contemporary poets, novelists, and playwrights, themselves in no way implicates in the actual holocaust, who have done most to counter the general inclination to forget the death camps.”

(Far from being forgotten, George, it’s a permanent indictment of the entire West, a colossal hoax that can’t be challenged. Distorting and extorting society, the Holocaust is an insatiable Moloch.)

American letters’ biggest loss to an early death, though, is Breece D’J Pancake. While still a student at the University of Virginia, Pancake shot himself in the head, at age 26. His entire oeuvre consists of just 12 stories, but you’d hard pressed to find a finer batch.

Pancake’s story collection was published posthumously. Though he had joked to his mother that it should be called, “Bullshit Artist,” there’s no false note here. Pancake’s prose is always true and often startlingly fresh, and that’s because he observed and listened very attentively to his native West Virginia.

Stories matter because, at their best, they capture the texture of a place, and give us its inner life also. Beyond their plot or wisdom, they show us how people from a distant place and time really felt, thought and spoke.

Quotidian language is already creative, if not charming and amusing, but the fiction writer is not just a transcriber, of course. He must distill. Consider this exchange between two men, one much older, from Pancake’s “Trilobites”:

The girl brings Jim’s coffee in his cup, and we watch her pump back to the kitchen. Good hips.

“You see that?” He jerks his head toward her.

I say, “Moundsville Molasses.” I can spot jailbait by a mile.

“Hell, girl’s age never stopped your dad and me in Michigan.”

“Tell the truth.”

“Sure. You got to time it so you nail the first freight out when your pants are up.”

I look at the windowsill. It is speckled with the crisp skeletons of flies. “Why’d you and Pop leave Michigan?”

The crinkles around Jim’s eyes go slack. He says, “The war,” and sips his coffee.

“Pump,” “nail” and “skeleton of flies” are so deft and suggestive. Pancake delivers.

“Good hips” instead of “nice ass” is also a nice alteration, and the old man’s “You see that?” is comically authentic.

Of course, stemmed humyns are perked up by good hips, not cloaked up, and youth, as life, ever more life, always seduces, whatever the law. It’s only natural.

If not for this “sexism,” we’d have a society of dour dykes, seething incels and ghastly drag queens, like, well, right now, but I better not say that. It’s not correct.

In “Trilobites,” the narrator, Colly, is briefly visited by his old girlfriend, Ginny. Having moved from West Virginia to Florida, Ginny admits to having a new guy who’s “doing plankton research.”

Still, for old times’ sake, they have sex, and not very prettily, “I slide her to the floor. Her scent rises to me, and I shove crates aside to make room. I don’t wait. She isn’t making love, she’s getting laid. All right, I think, all right. Get laid. I pull her pants around her ankles, rut her.”

Again, the stark, nearly brutal language, but Pancake never allows us to laugh at any of his characters, unlike, say, with Flannery O’Connor. Pancake merges into each one, and through his artistry, we too suffer their desperation, shame and sorrows.

Unlike Ginny, Colly hasn’t been anywhere, “When I was a young punk, I tried to run away from home. I was walking through this meadow on the other side of the Hill, and this shadow passed over me. I honest to god thought it was a pterodactyl. It was a damned airplane. I was so damn mad, I came home.” That’s as close as he’s ever gotten to an airplane.

The dinette’s jailbait is also described as having “Hips and legs that climb steps into airplanes.”

Pancake’s implicit and suggestive style is indebted to Hemingway and his iceberg theory, of course, and his terse prose also betrays influence, but Pancake’s atmosphere, his climate, if you will, is clearly different. It is more grounded, often more trapped, and aches much more.

Further, Pancake’s characters speak with a surer poetry. The younger writer had the better ear, simply put.

Pancake is also more in-tune with the day-to-day grind of ordinary survival. In “A Room Forever,” what a beautiful title, a barge hand describes all the other lonely hearts on a New Year’s Eve, “I look around. All these people have come down from their flops because there are no parties for them to go to. They are strangers who play a little pool or pinball, drink a little booze. All year they grit their teeth—they pump gas and wait tables and screw chippies and bait queers, and they don’t like any of it, but they know they are lucky to get it.”

Get what? Anything, if you’re lucky.

Not knowing what to do with himself, the narrator wanders the superficially festive streets. Feeling mean and low, he enjoys the sight of a drunk bum trying to spread newspapers for his bed, in some cold alley, then he’s softened by the sight of an underaged whore, standing in a doorway, marking him.

They end up in his room, “The darkness is the best thing. There is no face, no talk, just warm skin, something close and kind, something to be lost in. But when I take her, I know what I’ve got—a little girl’s body that won’t move from wear or pleasure, a kid playing whore, and I feel ugly with her, because of her. I force myself on her like the rest. I know I am hurting her, but she will never get any breaks. She whimpers and my body arches in spasms, then after, she curls in a ball away from me, and I touch her. She is numb.”

When he suggests she could stay in this room for the month, get a job at Sears or Penny’s, then pay him back later, she tells him to “just shut-the-fuck-up.” Though he’s slated to ship out the next day, she doesn’t know that, so probably thinks he just wants free sex, but that’s for us to deduce. Pancake doesn’t spell everything out.

Leaving her john, the girl ends up getting plastered in a bar, before slitting her wrists, though without success. She’ll have plenty left to endure.

In Pancake’s story collection, there’s an introduction by James Alan McPherson, and two afterwords, by John Casey and Andre Dubus III. McPherson and Casey were Pancake’s professors at Virginia. Pancake didn’t live long enough to have many literary friends.

 
• Category: Arts/Letters • Tags: Literature 
Flannery O’Connor
Flannery O’Connor

Though Flannery O’Connor didn’t live long, she left us some of the best stories ever written. It’s impossible to overpraise “A Good Man Is Hard to Find,” “The Life You Save May Be Your Own,” “The Displaced Person,” “The Artificial Nigger,” “Good Country People,” “Everything That Rises Must Converge” and “Revelation.”

O’Connor’s liberal usage of the word “nigger” has always made many people uncomfortable, however, and considering today’s politically correct climate, she’s likely to have been canceled from most college syllabi.

Most damningly, there are passages from O’Connor’s correspondences that even her staunchest defenders can’t whitewash. On May 3rd, 1964, just three months before her death from lupus, O’Connor wrote to Maryat Lee, “You know, I’m an integrationist by principle & a segregationist by taste anyway. I don’t like negroes. They all give me a pain and the more of them I see, the less and less I like them. Particularly the new kind.”

So O’Connor allowed or forced herself to think one way, but felt otherwise. On May 21st, O’Connor elaborated to Lee, “About the Negroes, the kind I don’t like is the philosophizing prophesying pontificating kind, the James Baldwin kind. Very ignorant but never silent. Baldwin can tell us what it feels like to be a Negro in Harlem but he tries to tell us everything else too […] If Baldwin were white nobody would stand him a minute.”

Negroes shouldn’t philosophize, prophesize or pontificate, you see. It’s a white thang.

O’Connor’s disdain and condescension towards blacks don’t show up in her fiction, however. Integrationist by principle, she’s not a racist against blacks in her art.

In O’Connor’s stories, blacks are generally dignified and likable, unlike her idiotic, freakish or criminal white trash. When O’Connor’s blacks transgress, it’s rather harmlessly, like stealing a turkey. They’re not smug idiots, confidence tricksters or murderers, like her white trash.

Unlike the one-armed white trash in “The Life You Save May Be Your Own,” O’Connor’s blacks don’t steal your car and abandon your deaf daughter at a roadside diner, miles from home. Unlike the three coolly depraved white trash in “A Good Man Is Hard to Find,” they don’t shoot your grandchildren, including a baby, before finishing you off.

In “The Artificial Nigger,” a brainless rural white trash, ironically named Mr. Head, takes his grandson to Atlanta, to teach him an important lesson, “Mr. Head meant him to see everything there is to see in a city so that he would be content to stay at home for the rest of his life.”

To Mr. Head’s dismay, the boy, Nelson, was doggedly proud to have been born in Atlanta. An orphan, Nelson had spent his first six months there.

Even on the train there, Mr. Head behaved moronically. Rudely waking other passengers, he read aloud everything on his ticket. Later, Mr. Head declared the name of each passing building, forcing Nelson to hiss, “Hush up!” The boy had more innate dignity than his grandpa.

At home, Mr. Head had stressed to Nelson that Atlanta was “full of niggers,” and since the boy had never encountered one, he was totally unprepared for this nightmare. Now on the train, three blacks appeared.

O’Connor, “A huge coffee-colored man was coming slowly forward. He had on a light suit and a yellow satin tie with a ruby pin in it. One of his hands which rode majestically under his buttoned coat, and in the other he held the head of a black walking stick that he picked up and set down with a deliberate outward motion each time he took a step. He was proceeding very slowly, his large brown eyes gazing over the heads of the passengers. He had a small white mustache and white crinkly hair. Behind him there were two young women, both coffee-colored, one in a yellow dress and one in a green. Their progress was kept at the rate of his and they chatted in low throaty voices as they followed him.”

Much classier than Mr. Head and Nelson, the blacks were headed for the dining car. Later, Mr. Head also took his grandson there, but only to look. They couldn’t afford it.

Shooed away after they had tried to poke into the kitchen, Mr. Head cracked a loud joke about cockroaches that got everyone laughing. Triumphant, they returned to their seats.

For lunch, Mr. Head had brought a paper bag with some biscuits and a can of sardine, but in their excitement to get off the train, they forgot all about it, so went hungry for the rest of the day.

Tossed into the swirling city, both of them were overwhelmed, but grandpa had a strategy, “Mr. Head was determined not to go into any city store because on his first trip here, he had got lost in a large one and had found his way out only after many people had insulted him.”

Walking along, they browsed stores and even inspected the sewer, for Nelson’s much needed edification. Soon enough, though, they were lost. The houses had become much shabbier, and there were blacks everywhere.

O’Connor, “There were colored men in their undershirts standing in the doors and colored women rocking on the sagging porches. Colored children played in the gutters and stopped what they were doing to look at them. Before long they began to pass rows of stores with colored customers in them but they didn’t pause at the entrances of these. Black eyes in black faces were watching them from every direction.”

In this “nigger heaven,” Mr. Head was too intimidated to ask for directions, so it was left to the boy to approach a woman.

During their brief exchange, the motherless boy was overtaken by a painful, deeply smothered yearning, “He suddenly wanted her to reach down and pick him up and draw him against her and then he wanted to feel her breath on his face. He wanted to look down and down into her eyes while she held him tighter and tighter. He had never had such a feeling before.”

Unaware of this turbulence, the sweet woman merely responded, “You can go a block down yonder and catch you a car take you to the railroad station, Sugarpie.”

Since Mr. Head had never taken a streetcar, they didn’t board one, but merely follow the tracks. When you’re so ignorant yet proud, everything is impossible. Too exhausted and hungry to go on, Nelson had to sit down on the sidewalk, and when he dozed off, Mr. Head had an inspiration.

O’Connor, “He looked at the sprawled figure for several minutes; presently he stood up. He justified what he was going to do on the grounds that it is sometimes necessary to teach a child a lesson he won’t forget, particularly when the child is always reasserting his position with some new impudence. He walked without a sound to the corner about twenty feet away and sat down on a covered garbage can in the alley where he could look out and watch Nelson wake up alone.”

Nelson’s latest impudence was to ask that black lady for help. He needed to be taught a lesson for showing up his grandpa. White trash on a trash can, Mr. Head waited for Nelson’s waking terror.

The boy slept on. Impatient, Mr. Head finally kicked the trash can to jolt Nelson awake.

O’Connor, “Nelson shot up onto his feet with a shout. He looked where his grandfather should have been and stared. He seemed to whirl several times and then, picking up his feet and throwing his head back, he dashed down the street like a wild maddened pony.”

 

Many literary classics you encounter too early in life, often as a class assignment in college or even high school. With almost no life experience, you can’t fully grasp their deeper meanings. Nothing prevents you from rereading them much later, however, and a masterful work should be revisited again and again.

I don’t know how secure Hemingway is in the contemporary canon, but if you’re over 35-years-old, say, you’re likely to have read, if only sloppily, his “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber.” Let’s reexamine this story.

A high-society American couple, Francis and Margot Macomber, went to Africa to experience big game hunting. There, they’re guided by Robert Wilson, an Englishman.

The story begins with all three having lunch after killing their first lion. The mood is tense and subdued, however. Something is wrong. Even after it’s spelled out, on page four, that Francis has just “shown himself, very publicly, to be a coward,” we still don’t know what happened.

So we’re dealing with its aftermath, which includes Margot seeing Francis and Wilson in new lights.

Throughout the story, much is made of Wilson’s ruddy complexion. Margot noticed this with pleasure whenever she looked at him, and flirting with the man, remarked about this repeatedly, to the point where Wilson had to protest, “I say, you wouldn’t like to drop my beauty as a topic, would you?”

Unlike her husband, Wilson was a white man with big brown hands and a very red face, and one who could calmly handle savage dangers. At home in Africa and speaking Swahili, Wilson was a white man of color.

Taking a dig at her husband, Margot purred to Wilson, “And I want so to see you perform again. You were lovely this morning. That is if blowing things’ heads off is lovely.”

What’s wrong with Francis Macomber? Nothing, really. No worse than you or me, he’s likely a few grades better.

Hemingway, “Francis Macomber was very tall, very well built if you did not mind that length of bone, dark, his hair cropped like an oarsman, rather thin-lipped, and was considered handsome.” He’s not weather beaten, though, like Wilson. Francis had an “American face that would stay adolescent until it became middle-aged.”

More, “He was very wealthy, and would be much wealthier, and he knew she would not leave him ever now. That was one of the few things that he really knew. He knew about that, about motor cycles—that was earliest—about motor cars, about duck-shooting, about fishing, trout, salmon and big-sea, about sex in books, many books, too many books, about all court games, about dogs, not much about horses, about hanging on to his money, about most of the other things his world dealt in, and about his wife not leaving him.”

Though a renowned beauty, Margot was no longer young, and Francis was simply too rich.

Civilized and domesticated, Francis Macomber was simply out of his elements in the African bush. The night before the lion hunt, he heard the lion roaring somewhere nearby and was terrified. In the morning, this fear increased because it was almost time to confront this lion.

Hemingway:

“What’s the matter, Francis?” his wife asked him.

“Nothing,” Macomber said.

“Yes, there is,” she said.

“What are you upset about?”

“Nothing,” he said.

“Tell me,” she looked at him. “Don’t you feel well?”

“It’s that damned roaring,” he said.

“It’s been going on all night, you know.”

“Why didn’t you wake me,” she said. “I’d love to have heard it.”

“I’ve got to kill the damned thing,” Macomber said, miserably.

“Well, that’s what you’re out here for, isn’t it?”

“Yes. But I’m nervous. Hearing the thing roar gets on my nerves.”

“Well then, as Wilson said, kill him and stop his roaring.”

“Yes, darling,” said Francis Macomber. “It sounds easy, doesn’t it?”

“You’re not afraid, are you?”

“Of course not. But I’m nervous from hearing him roar all night.”

Terrified, he’s reduced to a boy seeking reassurance and encouragement from his mom. He’d rather be somewhere much safer, it’s clear.

They went out to look for the lion. Finding him easily, it was time for Francis to shoot, except he didn’t want to get out. Ridiculously, he wanted to target the beast from inside the car, but Wilson said no to that. It’s just not done.

Out, Francis’ hands shook and his legs could barely move, but he managed to get into position, aimed and fired, yet nothing happened. He had forgotten to move the safety over. Finally ready, Francis fired three shots, with two hitting the lion, but not in optimal places. Infuriated, the hurt lion disappeared into some high grass to await his revenge.

Neither Wilson nor the black gun bearers were happy with this outcome. Now, they had to wait for the beast to weaken before pouncing on his hiding place to finish him off.

Dreading this, Francis absurdly suggested they set the grass on fire, send some boys in to flush the lion out, or just leave. Shamelessly, Francis even told Wilson out right, “I don’t want to go in there.” So don’t, Wilson replied, “That’s what I’m hired for, you know. That’s why I’m so expensive.”

This was no real option, however, because Margot was right there, just across the stream. Slinking back to her would crush Francis, but what ended up happening was even worse.

Hemingway, “Kongoni, the old gun-bearer, in the lead watching the blood spoor, Wilson watching the grass for any movement, his big gun ready, the second gun-bearer looking ahead and listening, Macomber close to Wilson, his rifle cocked, they had just moved into the grass when Macomber heard the blood-choked coughing grunt, and saw the swishing rush in the grass. The next thing he knew he was running; running wildly, in panic in the open, running toward the stream.”

Going back, Margot refused to look at Francis or even hold his hand. Instead, she leaned over the front seat to kiss Wilson on the lips, while cooing about “The beautiful red-faced Mr. Robert Wilson.”

Worse, Margot slipped into Wilson’s tent that very night. She craved more of his performance. Waking up at 3 in the morning to find his wife’s cot empty, Francis waited for her to return. Just as with the lion, Francis shrank from another challenge to his manhood. No confrontation, please.

Hemingway:

“Where have you been?”

“I just went out to get a breath of air.”

“You did, like hell.”

“What do you want me to say, darling?”

“Where have you been?”

“Out to get a breath of air.”

“That’s a new name for it. You are a bitch.”

“Well, you’re a coward.”

At breakfast, Francis only alluded to what had happened. Brushing it off, Wilson even warned the humiliated man to not “talk rot.”

On this second day, they hunted buffaloes. Performing marvelously, Francis started to redeem himself. He did so well, in fact, he seemed transformed.

Hemingway, “Look at the beggar now, Wilson thought. It’s that some of them stay little boys so long, Wilson thought. Sometimes all their lives. Their figures stay boyish when they’re fifty. The great American boy-men. Damned strange people. But he liked this Macomber now. Damned strange fellow. Probably meant the end of cuckoldry too. Well, that would be a damned good thing. Damned good thing. Beggar had probably been afraid all his life. Don’t know what started it. But over now. Hadn’t had time to be afraid with the buff. That and being angry too.”

Having Margot screwed by Wilson had helped to turn Francis into a man, so it was like a gift, the cuckoldry.

 

My illness is mostly over, I think. There’s still residual coughing, weak, tremulous breathing and difficulty sleeping, but I’ve been able to walk for miles each day, a restorative act that gets my blood flowing, and, of course, seeing people lifts my spirits. Here in Tirana, there are enough benches and green spaces to rest, and a strong sun has been out.

Although Tirana has almost no ornate buildings commonly associated with Europe, no fancy friezes, wrought iron balconies, fluted columns or caryatids, etc., Tiranians maintain southern European habits. Weather permitting, they prefer to be outside among their kind. Cafes and restaurants spill onto sidewalks. Yesterday, I walked by four old men playing domino, with a small crowd watching them. At another concrete table, there was a card game.

While there’s certainly collective grief, physical pain is always private, and once you’re afflicted with anything, all you can think about is escaping that condition. During the worst days of my illness, my small room suddenly appeared huge, simply because everything in it was so inaccessible. The distance from my bed to the bathroom door became a much dreaded challenge, often to be postponed for hours.

Though it was hard to think about anything, I thought of Fred Reed’s 2019 article about having 14 operations on his eyes, after they were injured in Vietnam. I was too much of a mess to reread it, however, but this morning, I finally revisited this unspeakably painful account, and the incredibly tough man who could endure such ordeals, though, typically, Reed downplays this aspect.

A 12.7mm round had gone through Reed’s windshield, “So I got choppered to the Naval Support Activity hospital in Danang with the insides of my eyes filled with blood, which I didn’t know because my eyelids were convulsively latched shut. An eye surgeon there did emergency iridectomies—removing a slice of the iris—so that my eyes wouldn’t explode. He also determined that powdered glass had gone through my corneas, through the anterior chamber, through the lens, and parked itself in the vitreous, which is the marmalade that fills the back of the eye. It had not reached the retina, though they couldn’t tell at the time, which meant that I wasn’t necessarily going to be blind. Yet.”

With calmness or even a weird sense of humor, Reed recounts one horrific operation after another, “The thing is, the patient can see all of this going on inside his eye. Really. It’s like watching shadow puppets. The microvit is clearly visible like a little rotorooter and you can see the snipping action of the cutter-part. Ms. Pacman, I tell you. I remember watching it go after a piece of black crud of some sort, snipsnipsnip, and eat it. It is a tribute to the efficacy of federal dope that the patient doesn’t leap up and run screaming from the room. You just don’t care. The whole business is dreamy, a sort of warm glowing Buddhist light show.”

Thinking about Reed’s enduring hell puts everything into perspective, all right, so whatever I have is no more than a minor bout of hiccups, and it’s almost over. Having cured myself, though, I can safely declare myself, with no immodesty, as a medical doctor, physical therapist and shrink. Fortified with this body of knowledge, I must send an urgent message to Joe Biden.

Listen up, Joe. What’s the point of having six million Jewish geniuses in your administration, if none of them can point out the obvious solution to this Covid crisis? Why hasn’t Rachel Levine, for example, whispered in your ears, “Mr. President, you must sign an executive order immediately, mandating butt plugs for all Americans.” Levine is already an expert at rearranging everything downstairs, even with the nastiest scalpels, so this is nothing but the gentlest of remedies.

There you have it. Why bother wearing three or four masks and keeping your social distance if the other end of your plumbing is exactly like a howling tunnel in the middle of a hurricane? Farting away, all the Covid-infected are gassing up America with a massive apocalyptic miasma of toxic viruses, so all you’re breathing in, night and day, is this evil exhalation.

You must lead by example, Joe. To reassure your anxious citizenry, you, and Kamala, too, must show everyone how it’s done.

Biden, “Good evening, my fellow Americans. Tonight, I have great news for everyone. After more than a year of collective suffering and collective sacrifice, not to mention collective loss of living, we’ve reached the end of the tunnel, and I mean this literally, as you shall soon see. Tonight, I’m signing an executive order mandating butt plugs for all Americans, even the newborn, and you must never take it off. With this easy, affordable and painless solution, Covid will finally be defeated.

“Many of you may not even know what a butt plug is. You may think, Doesn’t it sound rather pornographic? Not at all, my fellow Americans. It’s just a piece of rubber that you shove up your anus, like this,” and here Biden pulls down his pants, with admirable dignity, to show a snugly fitted and even stylish purple butt plug up his ass. “Kamala, will you show them yours?”

She readily complies. Her crimson butt plug is so huge, however, several journalists can’t help but gasp. They pull their pants up.

Biden, “They come in all sizes and colors, my fellow Americans, and many are quite cute, I must say. Even wholesome. X-ray scanners will be installed in all public buildings, including supermarkets, restaurants and bars, to ensure compliance. With this simple solution, our lives can return to normal, immediately!”

At the nadir of my sickness, I had basically one emotion, dread, so to warm up my soul again, I listened to Glenn Gould and watched John Cassavetes’ Minnie and Moskowitz and Woman Under the Influence, movies I hadn’t seen in more than 30 years.

Cassavetes’ films are characterized by long takes of people making each other uncomfortable, although this is almost never their intention. Many of them are just too self-absorbed, thus lost. Tension abounds, screaming erupts, and too often, there’s even physical violence. Almost never entertaining, his flicks are excruciating investigations into the hidden pains of being humans, especially American ones. You go along, endure these torturous scenes, because you recognize yourself, or should, in all these characters.

ORDER IT NOW

Minnie (Gena Rowlands) has a lunch date with Zelmo (Val Avery), an Armenian who oddly declares himself an Arab.

“You are?”

“No… I mean, I don’t look like an Arab. I don’t wear blankets like that and I don’t have any camel. How tall are you?”

Even with the “How tall are you?” there’s already an awkwardness between them, but Cassavetes’ characters blunder routinely, just like we do in real life.

 
• Category: Arts/Letters • Tags: Hollywood, Movies 

Just this month, Kevin Barrett wrote about our cultural breakdown through the prism of Dostoevsky’s Demons. Also at Unz, Mike Whitney began his article about the Covid vaccines with a quotation from Milton’s Paradise Lost, “Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell; And in the lowest deep a lower deep, Still threat’ning to devour me, opens wide, To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven.”

These middle-aged gentlemen are a dying breed. With miseducation militantly pushed, there is no common heritage to ground any conversation, so forget Dostoevsky, Milton and all other greats.

A striking phrase, “myself am hell” evokes Swedenborg’s personal hells and heavens, as well as Sartre’s idiotic “L’enfer, c’est les autres.” Only a man in hell would think that’s witty. In Robert Lowell’s “Skunk Hour,” there’s this stanza:

A car radio bleats,
“Love, O careless Love. . . .” I hear
my ill-spirit sob in each blood cell,
as if my hand were at its throat. . . .
I myself am hell;
nobody’s here—

Since language is everything, a civilization that sneers at its own is already dead.

Thinking about this, I started to reread W. G. Sebald’s The Rings of Saturn. An odd masterpiece, it’s neither a memoir, novel, travel book nor history, though it has elements of all those genres. Inspired by Thomas Browne’s Hydriotaphia, Urn Burial, or, a Discourse of the Sepulchral Urns lately found in Norfolk, it is a meditation on mortality, personal and civilizational.

Thomas Browne is not exactly devoured on park benches and subway trains these days. In the late 18th century, Samuel Johnson could already see his flaws, “This poesy may be properly applied to the style of Browne: It is vigorous, but rugged; it is learned, but pedantick; it is deep, but obscure; it strikes, but does not please; it commands, but does not allure: his tropes are harsh, and his combinations uncouth. He fell into an age in which our language began to lose the stability which it had obtained in the time of Elizabeth; and was considered by every writer as a subject on which he might try his plastick skill, by moulding it according to his own fancy.”

Despite all this, Browne persists. At the end of Borges’ “Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius,” he talks of tinkering with “an uncertain Quevedian translation (which I do not intend to publish) of Browne’s Urn Burial.”

The Rings of Saturn begins with Sebald in a state of collapse, “I was taken into hospital in Norwich in a state of almost total immobility. It was then that I began in my thoughts to write these pages. I can remember precisely how, upon being admitted to that room on the eighth floor, I became overwhelmed by the feeling that the Suffolk expanses I had walked the previous summer had now shrunk once and for all to a single, blind, insensate spot.”

Like Gregor Samsa, Sebald painfully dragged himself to his small window just to make sure the world was still there, only to find “the familiar city, extending from the hospital courtyards to the far horizon, an utterly alien place. I could not believe that anything might still be alive in that maze of buildings down there.” Such is illness.

In the rest of the 26-page chapter I, Sebald talks about the lives and deaths of his university of colleagues Michael Parkinson and Janine Dakyns, and the disinterment and display of Thomas Browne’s skull, which leads to a discussion of Rembrandt’s The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp, with its desecration of Adriaan Adriaanszoon, a petty thief who has just been hanged.

Sebald, “The spectacle, presented before a paying public drawn from the upper classes, was no doubt a demonstration of the undaunted investigative zeal in the new sciences; but it also represented (though this surely would have been refuted) the archaic ritual of dismembering a corpse, of harrowing the flesh of the delinquent even beyond death, a procedure then still part of the ordained punishment. That the anatomy lesson in Amsterdam was about more than a thorough knowledge of the inner organs of the human body is suggested by Rembrandt’s representation of the ceremonial nature of the dissection – the surgeons are in their finest attire, and Dr Tulp is wearing a hat on his head – as well as by the fact that afterwards there was a formal, and in a sense symbolic, banquet.”

A German academic living in East Anglia, Sebald knew well the histories of all countries bordering the North Sea, and beyond, so throughout The Rings of Saturn, we get fascinating reflections on Belgium, the Netherlands and, of course, Sebald’s native Germany, although a certain reticence there is most telling.

Already wandering around, observant and attentive, Sebald struck up a conversation with a gardener in Somerleyton, “When he realized where I was from he told me that during his last years at school, and his subsequent apprenticeship, his thoughts constantly revolved around the bombing raids then being launched on Germany from the sixty-seven airfields that were established in East Anglia after 1940. People nowadays hardly have any idea of the scale of the operation, said Hazel. In the course of one thousand and nine days, the eighth airfleet alone used a billion gallons of fuel, dropped seven hundred and thirty-two thousand tons of bombs, and lost almost nine thousand aircraft and fifty thousand men. Every evening I watched the bomber squadrons heading out over Somerleyton, and night after night, before I went to sleep, I pictured in my mind’s eye the German cities going up in flames, the firestorms setting the heavens alight, and the survivors rooting about in the ruins.”

When this gardener arrived in Germany as part of the army of occupation, he was curious to hear from locals what they had remembered of these horrific bombing raids, targeted specifically at civilians, “To my astonishment, however, I soon found the search for such accounts invariably proved fruitless. No one at the time seemed to have written about their experiences or afterwards recorded their memories. Even if you asked people directly, it was as if everything had been erased from their minds.”

When Sebald talks of his visit to Nuremberg, nothing is said of the infamous kangaroo trials, but only Saint Sebaldus, Sebald’s patron saint, “During the wedding night, the story goes, he was afflicted with a sense of profound unworthiness. Today, he is supposed to have said to his bride, our bodies are adorned, but tomorrow they will be food for worms.”

As losers, you’re not allowed to remember or speak, and this vindictive proscriptions are still in force today, incredibly, three quarters of a century later.

Even with the best intentions, however, nothing is ever adequately recorded. In Southwold, Sebald reflects on the Battle of Solebay in May 28th of 1672, Even celebrated painters such as Storck, van der Velde or de Loutherbourg, some of whose versions of the Battle of Sole Bay I studied closely in the Maritime Museum in Greenwich, fail to convey any true impression of how it must have been to be on board one of these ships, already overloaded with equipment and men, when burning masts and sails began to fall or cannonballs smashed into the appallingly overcrowded decks.”

Rather typically, Sebald wryly observes, “There were eye-witnesses who claimed to have seen the commander of the English fleet, the Earl of Sandwich, who weighed almost twenty-four stone, gesticulating on the afterdeck as the flames encircled him.” The twenty-four stone detail adds a touch of the ridiculous to this appalling scene.

We forget, misremember, clumsily misrepresent and often just lie, and what has taken centuries or millennia to build up, we’ve often erased in an instant.

 
• Category: Culture/Society • Tags: Literature, World War II 

After moving to Philadelphia in 1982, I quickly discovered McGlinchey’s, home of the 50-cent draft of Rolling Rock, and Bacchanal, where there were poetry readings on Mondays. When I had a few extra bucks, I also treated myself to a chopped liver sandwich at the original Latimer Deli, or a meatloaf and mashed potato dinner at a now-disappeared diner on 11th and Locust.

When I took a girl to Latimer, she smilingly said, “I’ll try that too,” but after the messy, putative crime was shamelessly produced, the cornered victim simply twisted her pretty face, “What is this?! It looks like chicken shit!” She did eat it.

Later, I’d have many fond memories of diners across America, in Cheyenne, Denver, Saint Paul, Saint Louis, Des Moines, Detroit, Joliet, Bellows Falls, Scranton, Richmond, Raleigh, Savannah, El Paso, San Antonio, Reno and Wolf Point, etc., though I’m still traumatized by the fraudulent chicken fried steak I somehow managed to ingest, waste not, want not, at an otherwise charming diner in McCook, Nebraska.

With its futuristic signs, chrome plated walls, colored neons, cozy booths, democratic counters, no-nonsense waitresses and ample portions of comfort food, the American diner is both wholesome yet sexy, down-to-earth yet cool, especially to foreigners, for most have only seen such eateries in glammed-up Hollywood films like Swingers, Grease, True Romance and Pulp Fiction, etc.

For the educated, the Swiss-born Robert Frank’s diners will always mesmerize, and Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks is as iconic an image of America as any. Stark alienation has never looked so good.

In any foreign city, sooner or later I’d look for an American diner, because, it’s only natural, man, I couldn’t help but crave some breakfast sausage, home fries or a legitimate cheeseburger. Plus, I wanted to see how American culture had been translated, distilled or refracted, an ongoing investigation.

Living for four months in Busan, I’d take a two-hour train ride to Waegwan, just to enjoy Country Restaurant’s all-American menu, as expertly prepared by a Filipina cook. Facing Camp Carrol’s main gate, its clientele was almost exclusively young American soldiers, with most of them black or Hispanic.

Its South Korean owner had just enough English to banter. Overhearing a female soldier say, “I think I’m an alcoholic,” he jumped in, “Alcohol, kill virus!” Later, as she and her friends were leaving, he shouted, “Merry Christmas!” It was mid-May. “Happy New Year!” she hollered back.

Country Restaurant wasn’t quite a diner, however.

In Pyeongtaek, though, I thought I had found the real MacKay. From the outside, I could see a jukebox and a black waitress, and even its name resonated personally.

Barging into Rocky’s, I blubbered, “This looks like a real diner!” I was more than ready to kiss her feet, or at least hug her thick thighs.

“Huh?”

“I said this looks like a real diner!”

She showed no comprehension.

“Uh, are you American?”

“No.”

What’s another disappointment in a life filled with them? Rocky’s Crosley jukebox was merely decorative. Its burger was pretty damn good, though.

Five hundred words into this article, you’re probably wondering, “What the hell does all this have to do with the bait-and-switch title?! Have I been jewed again?” Watch your anti-Semitic language! Be patient. I know you’re running out of time.

Here in Tirana, the closest I’ve found to a diner is Stephen Center. With its pancakes, huevos rancheros, BLT, chef salad, bacon cheeseburger, tuna melt, beef burrito and fried chicken, etc., it’s as down home as you’re going to get in the Balkans, and this is Albania, remember, a country so isolated 30 years ago, it was tagged the North Korea of Europe.

All its cutesy signs are so knowing, they couldn’t have put up by non-Americans, and sure enough, Stephen Center is owned by an American couple. Here as soon as Albania reopened in the early 90’s, they’re missionaries.

Their evangelism is evident through Stephen Center’s Christian messages, placed here and there, and even on the sugar packets, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life—John 3, 16.”

In Washington DC many moons ago, I used to frequent Scholl’s, a cafeteria with a Christian message at each table. Whatever, man, the food was good enough, and super cheap, though often overcooked, to accommodate its mostly elderly, thus dentally challenged, patrons.

Stephen Center’s Christianity, though, is ultra specific.

Done with a satisfying Santa Fe omelet, I decided to order a pot of tea and read a free magazine or two, from a rack by the door. Through large windows, blessed sunlight warmed us all, down to each smirking microbe. It was a beautiful day.

You won’t believe this, but so many elegant and dignified individuals kept walking by. Seeing a baby stroller being pushed across the street, I felt an unreasonable fear for the infant’s safety. Trusting her guardian completely, she innocently raised both hands, as if in triumph. Another astonishing day awaited her.

Opening Word—from Jerusalem, I was greeted by its editor, Jurgen Buhler, who informed me that, despite Covid-19, “Our staff decided to stay [in Israel] and we ended up packing thousands of Passover boxes, delivering groceries for the elderly and, at the Haifa Home, our Christian staff and volunteers were the only ones allowed to care for the 70 Holocaust survivors living there […] Meantime, we brought over 550 Russian and Ethiopian Jews to Israel and helped cover the extra cost of their two-week quarantine upon arrival, all in cooperation with the Jewish Agency.”

 
• Category: History • Tags: American Media, Christianity, Holocaust 

Though long-inhabited, Tirana never became a city until after World War II. In 1938, it had but 38,000 people. Further, its architectural heritage has been much destroyed during the Communist decades, so there are almost no historical churches or mosques left.

A striking exception is the Et’hem Bey Mosque, completed in 1821. Only shuttered by Enver Hoxha, it was not razed. When it was reopened without permission in 1991, thousands of people converged there to pray. Its walls and dome are lushly covered with mosaics depicting landscapes and plant motifs. Elegantly proportioned, it’s a gorgeous mosque. Turkey is financing its restoration. Nearby, a much bigger mosque, also funded by Turkey, is being built.

Since the Et’hem Bey occupies one corner of Skanderbeg Square, I see it almost every day. A vast, unobstructed space like a parade ground, Skanderbeg was where thousands of solemnly dressed Albanians knelt, with their heads bowed, to mourn Stalin’s death in 1953. There in 1991, a 32-feet-high statue of Enver Hoxha was toppled, while the dictator’s portraits and books curled, blackened and ashened in bonfires, to much bitter jubilation.

Just off Skanderbeg is Café Flora. Opened in the 1930’s, it’s one of Tirana’s oldest, though you wouldn’t know it by its slick and sterile appearance. Surely, it’s no longer the establishment described by Ismail Kadar in his 2009 novel, The Girl in Exile.

Under vague yet worrying government scrutiny, a playwright arranged to meet one of his investigators at Café Flora, for an exploratory, informal chat. Maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea, “What am I letting myself in for? he asked himself as he passed the marble colonnade of the Palace of Culture, his mind dogged by the thought that he was going like a lamb to the slaughter.”

Entering, the playwright was momentarily surprised to find the investigator at his favorite table. What a coincidence, he thought, but of course, “The investigator would know as well as he did where he liked to sit. As all Tirana knew, the Flora came second after the Dajti for microphones under the tables.”

As the watched watched the watcher for clues to why he was being watched, they talked like ordinary acquaintances, but of course, there was nothing normal about their conversation, or Café Flora, Tirana and Albania of that era. One man was totally at the mercy of the other, and it didn’t matter that, up to that point, he had been a playwright much esteemed by the Party.

With total power, the Party, or more specifically, Enver Hoxha, could just change his mind, and decide that a thoroughly loyal servant or longstanding comrade is an enemy. This apparently happened to Mehmet Shehu, Hoxha’s right hand man. Expected by all to succeed the ailing dictator by 1981, Shehu suddenly died, supposedly by suicide, then came the preposterous announcement that Shehu had long been an agent of the CIA, KGB, British and Yugoslavs. Hoxha also sent Shehu’s widow and two sons to prison, where one committed suicide.

Of course, Shehu didn’t rise to the top of the Communist hierarchy by being such a nice guy. Shehu in 1961, “Whoever disagrees with our leadership in any respect, will get spat in the face, punched on the chin, and, if necessary, a bullet in his head.” Shehu certainly got one.

Six years after Hoxha’s death, his wife, Nexhmije, was arrested for embezzlement. Jailed for just five years, she had it easy. Albanians knew all about her pompous, extravagant lifestyle, which was standard for the elite of every Communist country, but why should anyone be surprised? What’s the use of power if one can’t gorge, or exact terrible revenge against each offense, no matter how slight or imaginary?

Though the US is well on its way towards totalitarianism, it’s only half-erected, as proven by the half-assed skirmishes among its politicos. When Trump threatened to arrest Hillary, for example, he was only kidding, and they both knew it, for they’re in the same bed. As for rigged elections, Kerry, too, only jokingly dawdled with the hanging chad diddle. After being screwed by Hillary, Sanders beamingly endorsed her top shelf, naked strap-on.

At this stage, it’s only flag football, or, more accurately, fag football. Despite all the hollering, prancing and pansy pantsing, no hitting is allowed. See any blood?

The US is also missing its Great Dear Leader, with Clinton, Bush, Obama and Trump afforded only brief cameos as cabana boys in chief. Here in Albania, Hoxha ruled for 40 years! Next door in Yugoslavia, Tito reigned for 37! Think about that.

Narcissistic ogres, they loved themselves to death. Such type will always be adored and worshipped by the infantile, hankering for their uber daddy, but luckily for the US, the country should disintegrate before such a savior appears.

In The Albanians, Miranda Vickers describes Hoxha’s 1946 visit to Belgrade, where he was “shocked by Tito’s arrogance and elitism.” Intending to swallow up Albania, Tito had to show who was boss, “Tito wore a white marshal’s uniform with a gold-embroidered collar and matching cuffs, and abundant medal ribbons on his chest to complement the stars on his epaulettes—this ensemble being completed by a huge sparkling diamond ring on his finger. Hoxha felt offended, humiliated and probably exceedingly jealous of all this excessive and ostentatious display, following so soon after the austere misery of the wartime struggle from which both he and Tito had just emerged.”

Conflict or even open war among Communist nations should prove, even to dumbshits, that nationalism is always a factor, no matter what your brainwashed or lying professor told you.

With such a recent past of abject poverty, physical isolation, mental suffocation and widespread state terror, it’s no wonder Albanians have worked hard to remake their society, to give it a new, cosmopolitan sheen that’s almost entirely free of nostalgia, for there isn’t much to fondly remember.

Of course, Tirana also looks new because nearly all its businesses could only appear after the collapse of Communism. Street after street, all the cafés, restaurants, bars and shops seem uniformly new, with each piece of furniture just installed, and the walls freshly painted and without memories. There are no black-and-white photos of long-dead patrons in any bar, no quirky painting forgotten in a corner. By October of 1994, there were just five restaurants in the entire city!

When the past is evoked, it’s nearly always imported, and why not? Since movies, TV shows and songs also become memories, you can modify your past, sort of, by lifting someone else’s media.

Near me, there’s the Vital Café. Among its framed images is Lewis Hine’s 1910 photo of boys smoking, Uncle Sam with “I WANT YOU FOR U.S. ARMY,” Manhattan Bridge as seen from Brooklyn, a pencil drawing of the Statue of Liberty, and a generic photo of a Lisbon streetcar. There’s no image of Albania.

 
• Category: History, Ideology • Tags: Albania, Communism, Hitler, Holocaust, Jews 

The older you get, the more likely you are to ramble, or, to put it more delicately, to improvise quite freely, incoherently or repetitively, the more you’ll sound like Sun Ra on acid, in short.

Warning label out of the way, I must talk about dogs, to start with.

In Egypt, they’re everywhere, but nearly all are strays. Never petted nor allowed indoors, they find warmth on the heated metal of parked or abandoned cars. Like Egyptian sheep, goats, horses, donkeys, cats and even herons, they eat garbage, which in Egypt is quite plentiful, everywhere. From birth to death, they live a most unnatural existence, not unlike humans.

Eternally hounded, they look at you with pitiful eyes and don’t even dare to whimper. Only once did Egyptian dogs bark at me, and that was in Cairo’s City of the Dead. Among the lowest of that society, these creatures seemed less wretched.

With its quiet, uncluttered streets and often grand, dignified structures, The City of the Dead is perhaps Cairo’s most pleasant neighborhood. Incredibly, it’s also very affordable. Paying no rent, the living coexist, quite peacefully, with the long-dead, inside abandoned tombs.

Since the dead don’t drive, parking isn’t a problem, but they definitely do enjoy coffee, at least in moderation. Relaxing at a City of the Dead café, I was vaguely hoping some long departed broad would show up. Well decomposed, she had had enough time to deconstruct herself, thus come to some self-understanding, if not wisdom, after a conversation or two with God, perhaps. If in hell, she could finally see the Devil without disguise. Her conquered, done with, he could laughingly confide to her all his tricks.

Plus, to her eyes, I would be considered young, fresh meat.

Even with minimal foot traffic, the City of the Dead still has its beggars, so I gave some cheerful, white bearded guy, sitting on the ground, enough for lunch.

Speaking of which, I just had my first cheeseburger in Tirana. Most promisingly, it came with what looked like dill pickles, but, oy vey iz mir, these were merely thinly sliced cucumber!

As a bonafide Jew, as proven by this T-shirt, dearly purchased in Vientiane, Laos, there’s no way I’m going to put up with this gasly insult! It’s like being slapped six million times! And where, pray tell, is their Holocaust Memorial Museum? There’s not even a synagogue here. I don’t care that Albanians fought against both Mussolini and Hitler, these people are obviously brazen Nazis!

Italian culture is common here. Everywhere, pizza, pasta and calzoni are sold. Albanian prosciutto is not quite Italian quality, but good enough. Standing in a bakery, I’m staring at rolls called tartarughe [turtles] and rosette, just like in il bel paese, and a croissant here is also a brioche.

Every language is a collective poem, with each grunt or exhalation an inspired moment, once upon a time or just yesterday. Take the Albanian makina. Derived from the Italian macchina, it means machine or car, but car as merely machine is very childish, of course, if not ridiculous, but that’s its charm, just like the Spanish tienda means tent or store.

Call me biased, but the cutest along that line is the Vietnamese for crocodile, cá sấu, which literally means ugly fish.

Man plays with language, for it’s his most available toy, and costs nothing, except loss of employment, prison or even death, if he’s corralled inside a Satanic system. Worse off than dogs in a necropolis, he can’t even bark.

Smile, you’re not quite there yet, but watch your back.

If you consider death as the total erasure of reality, then its eclipse is always a partial death, so how dark has your noon become?

As I waver between turtles and rosettes, Fred Buscaglione is belting, “Guarda che luna! Guarda che mare!” From this night, without you, I must remain. OK, Fred.

During those suffocating decades of Enver Hoxha’s Communism, Italian radio broadcasts, heard surreptitiously, were all Albanians had of the outside world.

In return, Albania beamed its Stalinist and Maoist messages towards Italians, but such relentless hammering and sickling wasn’t too popular, so music had to be interspersed.

In December of 1972, Hoxha have had enough of this diluted nonsense, so he ordered Radio Tirana’s directors, composers and singers sent to internment camps, along with their families.

Few things are as weird as a Communist song and dance routine, for it is most awkwardly pistoned by rigid, coerced emotions. No spontaneity is allowed, not even an impromptu smile.

I witnessed this firsthand at a North Korean restaurant in Phnom Penh, where the stiffly pretty waitresses wore the most plastic faces as they gutted out shlock rock or pop numbers. Their guitar, bass and drum playing was adroit, but as anyone with a soul must know, precise muscle twitching alone doesn’t make music. It was torture, especially for them.

Granted, to be civilized is to compose and choreograph yourself constantly, but under a totalitarian regime, this imperative is pushed to an insane degree, at all time, even when you’re alone, for Big Brother has been implanted inside your skull.

Everyone is always watching everyone else, and himself, for ideological deviations. A single thought crime can finish you off. No playfulness is allowed. Hyper conscious, your mind eats itself.

Even with your children, you must always be on guard, for they have been well indoctrinated, day after day at school, to detect and denounce heretics.

In Tirana, the former headquarters of the secret police has been turned into a museum, House of Leaves. Here, thousands were taken to be interrogated, often under torture. Like its innocent name, this sinister place has been mostly scrubbed of its terror.

In one room, though, there are photographs of political prisoners on trial. Violated, humiliated and hopelessly doomed, their faces show fear or abjection, of course, but also a stubborn dignity, with more than a hint of disbelief, as in how can such savagery occur in a land they so love and think they know so well?

 
• Category: Culture/Society, History • Tags: Egypt 

I’m in downtown Tirana. My 7th floor room has a fridge, desk, three chairs and a wardrobe. There’s also an electric kettle, which is useful not just for hot beverages, but instant noodles and soups. Heat is love.

My private bathroom is clean and new, with plenty of hot water, and strong shower jets. My wide window affords a panorama of tenements backstopped by a mountain range. Each dawn, a soft, considerate sun rises, cheering my prospect. On my wall, there’s a nice kitschy painting of snow-capped, craggy peaks.

For all these privileges, I pay just $427 for four weeks.

Although my landlady speaks no English, there’s no problem. Tiny, pleasant and hushed, she’s in the next room. Walking by her door, I can barely hear her television murmuring, if she’s there. In her 60’s, she’s as scatterbrained as me.

When I paid her at check in, she looked perplexed, before remembering she had left her money purse under my mattress. Fishing it out, she giggled at her own battiness. Still amused at herself, the old bird handed me my change in leks.

With suppressed excitement slightly tinged with dread, I should lift the mattress to see what else she has forgotten? There’s liable to be anything, from a broken comb, to tangled hair, to a mummified mermaid. In Egypt, where I was just at, you can book a fully furnished apartment, wink, wink, and get your musty cellar hosed out by the en suite maid.

Leaving Cairo was more eventful than necessary. An airport employee asked repeatedly for a tip just for lifting my backpack and duffle bag onto the luggage scanner, although I had told him specifically not to, for who needs such a service? Although it was only a minor shakedown, I didn’t pay him.

Two security guys then spent five minutes examining my three hard-drives, with one demanding I checked them in. After I firmly balked at this, he backed of.

At passport control, an officer steered me to another who said I had to pay $23 for overstaying my visa. After I explained that Egyptian laws allowed visitors to overstay for up to two weeks without being fined, both officers cracked up and promptly let me through. Guffawing along, I merely blurted, “I loved Egypt so much, I had to stay another week!”

Don’t get me wrong. Ordinary Egyptians were fine. On subways, strangers would offer me their seats, since they couldn’t stand to see such a white-haired guy standing with his eyes shut. (I often close them to focus or just rest.) Cairo’s streets invigorated me, and its architecture is second to none, though awfully decayed, as I’ve already stated.

What’s wrong with Egypt, above all, is its government. As established by Nasser, it is a police state dominated by the military, with socialist policies that have wrecked its economy.

Since Nasser gave the poor free bread, free land and practically free rent, he was hugely popular among them, but by chasing out the enterprising class, Nasser destroyed Egypt’s development.

Promising a job to every college graduate, Nasser created a huge bureaucracy of state employees who did almost nothing. His universal welfare triggered a huge population explosion, so now, there are over 100 million Egyptians on a land meant for a fraction of that.

Nasser’s revolutionary zeal also led him to intervene in Yemen, a catastrophe that drained his treasury and weakened his army, but the great, charismatic man with plenty of bon mots couldn’t see this, obviously, for he kept on threatening Israel most bombastically. Only a spectacularly humiliating defeat in the Six-Day War could puncture Nasser’s hubris.

Arriving in Cairo just before New Year, I noticed many armed soldiers, and even armored vehicles, around Tahrir Square. This was a preventive measure against crowd disturbance or terrorism during the holiday, I thought, but the military never left. It’s there, 24/7, primarily to prevent fresh protests against the government.

A clerk at my hotel was jailed for a month just for snapping photos of a protest, but luckily, he wasn’t abused while locked up, a too common practice there.

Twice, I was accosted by armed cops, one with an assault rifle, for merely taking photos of Coptic churches. Outside Faisal Metro Station, an un-uniformed cop grabbed my camera after I had snapped some funky food stand. He then forced me to follow him inside to see his supervisor. In Alexandria, an angry cop told me to stop photographing a tenement.

Seeing a smiling Sisi often, I couldn’t help but photograph his face at butcher stalls, a laundry service, draped on a hotel, inside a subway station, over a café, another café, a snack and soft drink stand, at a machine part dealer, a coffee and tea store, clothing store, behind a vegetable stand, by a garage, stuck to a tenement, on the side of a truck, outside a spice shop, paired with the Sphinx, saluting himself, and here shaking hands with the always clueless Pope Francis.

 
• Category: Culture/Society • Tags: Albania 

Flying into Egypt, I was given a one-month visa, which I got right at the airport for a small fee. One is allowed to overstay for two weeks, however, so I’ll likely take advantage of this. I’m getting more comfortable in Cairo, and why not?

In any unknown neighborhood, you must figure out where you can drink coffee, eat affordably and buy the basics, and if you’re partial to green bottles with cheery labels, where you can get buzzed for just a slurry song.

A conservative Muslim country, Egypt is not exactly a bar hopping paradise, but there are hoppy joints. Being right downtown, I have options.

Since my hotel receptionist is an Armenian, he has no qualms about boozing, “But I don’t really socialize. Prices have gone up. I go home and stay home.” He lives near the Giza Metro Station.

“Let’s go to Stella!” My treat, of course, except I haven’t been able to find it. It has no sign.

Although alcohol consumption is allowed, it must be discreet, so no loud music or butt flossed bartenders, such as they have in even frostbitten Michigan. Nothing like Hooters, in short. (Hey, there’s an untapped market here. Go for it!) Most of Egypt is bone dry.

Prowling around looking for elusive Stella, I have been approached by unctuous strangers who began their pitch with “my friend.” In any country, it’s never a good sign.

When I replied to a dark, scrunchy faced man in English, he blurted, “Ah, you’re an American! My wife is from the Windy City.” Yeah, right. “What do you do?”

“I’m a writer.” I wanted to see where this was leading.

“Fantastic! I’m an artist.”

“Really?”

“Yes. My studio is right there.” He pointed. “Let me show you.”

Following this fellow, I was led into a small souvenir shop jammed with miniature pyramids, sphinx, cats, nefertitties, pharaonic icons luridly painted on supposedly papyrus and body oils with exotic or concupiscent names, such as you’d find in American ghettoes. There’s none tagged “Barack Obama,” however.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“No, thanks.”

Uncapping Cleopatra’s Secret, he held it to my nose. “Nice?”

I shrugged.

“It’s for at night,” he grinned.

For most contemporaries, Cleopatra doesn’t conjure up Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra or Dryden’s All For Love, but a naked Elizabeth Taylor submerged to her cleavage in a sumptuous marble bathtub, or getting a voluptuous back rub. That queen, too, is history, for “Golden lads and girls all must, as chimney-sweepers, come to dust,” wrote some antisemitic white dude. Don’t read him!

This Cairo man was an exceedingly minor hustler. In Skopje, North Macedonia, I ran into a very short man who was wandering around wearing a USA cap. In perfect, accent-free and colloquial English, he explained that he had just been robbed by five Gypsies in Ohrid. Though they had taken his IDs, three credit cards, $40, new iPhone and passport, he still had a wallet, first red flag, which he pulled out to show me a photo of an exceedingly gorgeous blonde in a US Army uniform, second red flag. As if to explain why he was so tiny, he said he had been a jockey in Louisville for three years, where he saw nine other jockeys die in violent wrecks, third red flag. As if to snuff out suspicions he wasn’t really a Yank, he said he could name all “44 US presidents, with even their middle names,” and he actually rattled them off, in order, as we were walking along the Vardar. I’m not going to nitpick and say there were actually 45 American prezzes, but the final red flag was when he said his father owned 50 industrial supply stores, one in every state, and that’s just ridiculous, amigo. Still, it was a very impressive performance, so when he asked for $10 halfway through, to get the cheapest hotel room until his wife sends him cash the next morning, I readily coughed up. Plus, there was an outside chance he was genuine, for he hadn’t mentioned the 50 stores in 50 states. Hell, it would be disgraceful to deny a fellow American in trouble ten lousy bucks.

Searching for Stella, I serendipitously discovered Horreya, so that’s where I am now, having my first beer in more than three weeks, a personal record. Stella is Egypt’s only beer brand. First brewed in 1897, it’s a respectable lager, just a notch below Beer Lao. The only other choice is Heineken, so no, thanks.

Horreya is a tall ceilinged, spacious room with long-stemmed, three-bladed ceiling fans and large, multi-paneled windows, so you can clearly hear car horns and motorcycle vooms above the low roar of conversations. There’s no music, thankfully. The hummus-colored walls are decorated with shaped mirrors and a sign from nearly a century ago, “Votre Boisson PRÉFÉRÉ/ VIMTO.” The light is naked neon, such as you find at bus stations.

There’s a tin ashtray at each table. After spitting on the floor, a nattily dressed young man rubbed out the sputum with his shoe. The waiter patrols the floor with bottles ready to be dispensed, and adroitly opened with a quick flick of his wrist. Most patrons are men. Just now, though, some matronly broad just ambled past me. Ten feet away sits a fierce eyed, sharp chinned and tightly smiling beauty, with her cigarette, beer and bearded, prematurely balding boyfriend.

Behind a square column are two joined tables of possible Americans, judging not just by their faces, but body language. Pudgy and pasty, they may be professors at the American University here, but who knows? Perhaps they’re Cornhusker offensive linemen from the mid-80’s, here on a quirky reunion.

“Hey dudes, let’s go to Cairo!”

“Man, that’s just a pissy little village! My sister lives right on the corner of Mecca and Alexandria, near the Baptist Church. There ain’t nothing in Cairo but the Medina Coffee Shop…”

“I don’t mean Cairo, Nebraska, dumbshit! I mean Cairo, Egypt!” So here they are.

An Egyptian Mau lurks, frowns, eyes you with hope and resentment then bounces away. In Muslim countries, stray dogs don’t wander indoors, but cats do. In Cairo, I spot them often inside metro stations, sometimes nibbling from small plates. At Istanbul’s Hagia Sophia, I encountered meowing pussies, licking themselves most indecorously.

Horreya means liberty, by the way, and that’s apt, for it is an oasis of license in a culture that generally shuns alcohol. The Koran (2:219), “They ask you about intoxicants and gambling. Say, ‘There is gross sin in them, and some benefits for people, but their sinfulness outweighs their benefit.’” True enough, so get shitfaced responsibly, and don’t gamble.

For 1,375 years, Egypt has been Muslim, but not entirely, for there are significant Christian communities here, with beautiful, well-maintained churches, 500 in Cairo alone, some of them huge.

For thousands of years before the Muslim conquest, Egyptians downed more beer than Bavarians, Brits, Koreans or whomever else you could think of. In fact, they were one of the first brewers. The oldest large-scale brewery anywhere was in Nekhen, Egypt. In 3600BC, it cranked out the equivalence of 650 bottles a day. In 2580BC, a laborer at the Giza Pyramids was allotted four to five liters of beer daily. (When I was housepainting in Philly, our boss, Joe, only gave us one bottle of Samuel Adams at quitting time!)

 
• Category: Culture/Society, History • Tags: Egypt 
Linh Dinh
About Linh Dinh

Born in Vietnam in 1963, Linh Dinh came to the US in 1975, and has also lived in Italy and England. He is the author of two books of stories, Fake House (2000) and Blood and Soap (2004), five of poems, All Around What Empties Out (2003), American Tatts (2005), Borderless Bodies (2006), Jam Alerts (2007) and Some Kind of Cheese Orgy (2009), and a novel, Love Like Hate (2010). He has been anthologized in Best American Poetry 2000, 2004, 2007, Great American Prose Poems from Poe to the Present, Postmodern American Poetry: a Norton Anthology (vol. 2) and Hopeless: Barack Obama and the Politics of Illusion, among other places. He is also editor of Night, Again: Contemporary Fiction from Vietnam (1996) and The Deluge: New Vietnamese Poetry (2013), and translator of Night, Fish and Charlie Parker, the poetry of Phan Nhien Hao (2006). Blood and Soap was chosen by Village Voice as one of the best books of 2004. His writing has been translated into Italian, Spanish, French, Dutch, German, Portuguese, Japanese, Korean, Arabic, Icelandic and Finnish, and he has been invited to read in London, Cambridge, Brighton, Paris, Berlin, Reykjavik, Toronto and all over the US, and has also published widely in Vietnamese.