Paperback 1005: Dell 438 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: All Men Are Liars
Author: John Stephen Strange
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Condition: 6/10
Estimated value: $5-10

Best things about this cover:

• "I solemnly swear ... aw, who am I kidding? All men are liars, amirite!? Up top!"
• Her side-eye! I really should have a "Women Looking At Losers" blog tag. (See Paperback 1004)
• Her mustard suit is smokin'
• Shouldn't "man about town" be hyphenated? ... wow, even dictionaries seem divided on this one. One thing no one's divided on: the Ben Affleck movie "Man About Town" is probably best left back in 2006.

Best things about this back cover;

• Mapback!
• Love the Gay '90s font on the title, wtf
• How have they managed to make Manhattan look so boring? So many things on that island we get ... a generic courtroom interior!?
• The crossword maker in me is like "hmm... is HDQRS really a valid abbr.?"

Page 123~

Won Way Street rose and strolled across the well of the court.

Sorry. I'm dead. That name just killed me.

~RP

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Paperback 987: Dell 1534 (2nd ptg, 1951)

Title: New York: Confidential
Author: Jack Lait & Lee Mortimer
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Estimated value: $12-15
Condition: 8/10

Best things about this cover:

• Guys! Dolls! Together!
• Robert Stanley's people are always ridiculously rich and creamy.
• Seriously, the art is gorgeous. That dark aquamarine NYC night sky somehow works perfectly.

Best things about this back cover:

• Map! Back! Mapback!
• It's a pretty dang dull map, from a design point of view, but the "Key" on p. 240 is amazing. All those little numbers on the map represent "Hotels," "Night Clubs & Restaurants," "Theaters," and "Shopping":

Also, there are appendices of cool info like "Headwaiters' Names" (!?) and a "Glossary of Harlemisms":



Page 123~

Do not use cheap perfume when night-clubbing (or at any time).

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 872: Dell 508 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: The Baited Blonde
Author: Robinson MacLean
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Estimated value: $10-15

Best things about this cover:

• Mike had his own special way of taking a woman's pulse.
• Mike was never very good at dancing.
• Mike always had trouble getting the store mannequins into naturalistic poses.
• You do *not* want to fuck with Mike's hookah. You just don't.

Best things about this back cover:

• Middle East Mapback! With the Suez Canal inset! Hot.
• "How 'bout instead of Iran … a sad strip club?" "Go for it!"
• Screw you, Cyprus! No pink tint for you!

Page 123~

And after you open a can of salmon you got to do something. 

Best motivational poster caption ever. If you don't use this line today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life, something is wrong with you.

~RP

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Paperback 856: Dell 617 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Dividend on Death
Author: Brett Halliday
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Estimated value: $10-12


Best things about this cover:

• Mike Shayne fights back against Obama's Death Panels.
• "*That's* no thermometer!" cried Mike Shayne.
• It looks like he's trying to do some gun hackysack and she's like "WTF!?"
• His tie is awesome. Did he fall from the sky?

Best things about this back cover:

• How much for the alliteration classes?
• "a flock of kisses from a hot-mouthed blond"—"Her kisses were like feverish sheep…"
• Dr. Pedique has the cure! Or so I imagine.

Page 123~

She gazed at him disdainfully. "What gave you the idea you were such hot stuff? If you haven't anything else on your mind, I'll ask you to go. I won't weep any salty tears if I never see you again."

"Only freshwater tears for you, sailor. Now scram!"

~RP

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Paperback 732: Dell 10c 15 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: A Taste for Cognac
Author: Brett Halliday
Cover artist: Bob Stanley

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• Red hair. Bow tie. Side glance.
• That ugly booth bench puts her in a rather weird, hunchy, decidedly unsexy position.
• His hand is almost too expertly rendered. Seems like a living thing, operating wholly independently from Cap'n Bow Tie.

Best things about this back cover:

• Psst, Blackie. He's gonna need his face for, you know, talking.
• Love trigger-happy gunmen. So much cooler than gun-happy triggermen. Or gun-shy gunmen—those guys are the worst.
• I am intrigued by the concept of "Night Bus."

Page 23~

"So you think I did it?" Shayne fumed.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 628: Dell 520 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Dead Giveaway
Author: Hugh Lawrence Nelson
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Legato-erotic asphyxiation.
• "There was no stool!"
• I love the thick, sweaty, unshaven humanity of Bob Stanley's painting.
• I also entertained "auto-melodic asphyxiation." But I stand by my first choice.

Best things about this back cover:

• When Cartography Goes Bad. A confused and ugly mapback. Too many keys and insets and overlays. San Francisco has never looked more dull.
• If that is the "zany troupe of entertainers" there in the inset, then we have very different ideas about what "zany" means.
• There's someone named "Deasy" in this book? And it's not called "Deasy Does It." The titling folks are slacking.

Page 123~

"And Mr. Gates passing out and going—"

"Thump!" They shouted it in unison.

Abbott jumped.

They beamed with pleasure.

I'm guessing "they" are the "zany troupe of entertainers." And I'm also guessing Abbott shoots them within the next couple pages.

~RP

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Paperback 537: Dell 542 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Fools Die on Friday
Author: A.A. Fair (aka Erle Stanley Gardner)
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: not for sale (donation to the collection), but FYI, it's prolly worth about $30

Best things about this cover:

• Reader K. Harvey was helping clean out the house of a friend's aunt and she came across a treasure trove of old paperbacks. She offered to send them to me. I accepted. So a couple days ago I got a box crammed full of Fair/Gardner books (as well as some Leslie Charteris / "Saint" stuff), all of which are in good-to-great condition. There must be 35-40 books in all. A generous donation, from which we will all benefit—I'll try to post all the covers here, sometimes 2 or 3 at a time (to highlight certain stylistic trends) over the course of the summer, while still moving steadily through my collection (don't want to overdose on Gardner). 
• I lead with this cover because it is legendary. Future editions of this book will button her shirt and hide her panties, making her look far more elegant, far less slatternly. I.e. yawn. Behold:

• "... just enough to cover yourself ..." Well, I guess she's ready then.
• I love old half-face there on the left. In particular, his tie. And his eyes. He's doing that "I can magically see behind me" thing that people on paperback covers and in soap operas sometimes do. He looks like every man Robert Stanley ever drew, i.e. like Mike Shayne.
• If it weren't for the boobs, I'd have to say "cross-dresser."

Best things about this back cover:

• Mapback!
• "Real clues" — none of the fake stuff for us, thanks.
• BALLWIN looks allllll kinds of wrong.
• Love the building cutaway—like a giant just tore the top half of the apartment off.

Page 123~

She pushed back her stenographic chair, walked over to a shelf, whipped out a map, and placed it on the counter.

I am slightly in love with the phrase "stenographic chair," which I did not realize until just now was a thing.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 324: Dell 594 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Keep Cool, Mr. Jones
Author: Timothy Fuller
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• If the ridiculously low-cut blouse didn't get you looking at her boobs, the gun is there to point you in the right direction.
• "Get me a brisket, Mr. Jones."
• "What? We like to be surrounded by cold slabs of meat when we do it. Don't judge us."
• She has an interesting variation on Fear Hand™—like she's timidly waving at the gun-wielder ("uh ... hi honey") or about to sling her web à la Spidey.
• Jupiter Jones ... and ... January Jones ... in ... 'We Meat Again'!

Best things about this back cover:

• "For design inspiration, we're going to give you a hard-boiled egg and two dominoes."
• You'd expect the final tagline to be some kind of outrageous pun or exciting teaser, not a *literal description of what you can see on the cover.*

Page 123~

Bateman put a telephone on the bar. When Jupiter walked up to it Joe nodded quickly at Maney and whispered, "Drunk and ugly. Watch it." And then, normally, "All the comforts of home."

~RP

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Paperback 254: Popular Library 566 (1st ptg, 1954)

Title: Cradle of the Sun
Author: John Clagett
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• "Sorry, ladies! Filene's Attic is closed!"
• "I just flew in from Cleveland and boy are my arms tired ... get it? ... airplane [mimes airplane] ... yeesh, tough room."
• Rick Astley protects his Mayan mistress from the Spaniards: "Never gonna give her up ..."
• "Excuse me, sir, we mean no offense. It's just ... you have a bit of mole sauce under your right nipple ... just ... here. Might I suggest you try donning a shirt next time you partake of a meal?"

Best things about this back cover:

• No offense, ma'am, but: Worst Hat Ever. I wanna club her head with a stick and see if candy comes out.
• "Taut tale" — aw yeah, tell me more.
• She does not seem impressed with the size of their knives. In fact, I'm not convinced she's really looking at them. "Excuse me guys, I think I see Enrique over there. Oh Enrique!"

Page 123~

"By God, Suarez, rejoice! Your wit has at last produced an idea!"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 139: Dell D327 (1st New Dell ptg, 1959)

Title: Bodies Are Where You Find Them
Author: Brett Halliday
Cover artist: Bob McGinnis

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• Bob, Bob, Bob - why are you hiding her!!?
• The title of this book is so true
• If you Google ["is where you find it"], you'll be shocked at how many different things apply. Short list: Love, Home, Gold, Faith, Fun, Jazz, Art, etc.
  
• It's actually a very smoky cover, for being awfully short on lady flesh. Dishevelment + those eyes = hot.
• Love the double entendre on "bodies" here
• That Mike Shayne mug is a kind of trademark that appears on nearly all the Dell pbs of Mike Shayne novels. It's a Bob Stanley design, I think

Best things about this back cover:

• Honestly, I have no idea what I'm looking at. Is that the corner of a bedsheet?
• "... lots of money, from way back." Like ... antebellum? Is his wealth all in ducats? Doubloons?
• The only think I like more than an heiress is a "madcap heiress."
• Whoa whoa whoa - that chick on the front cover is dead? If so, that's a cruel, cruel joke.

Page 123~

"Let's just pretend we're invisible," Shayne suggested.

~RP

Paperback 132: Pyramid Books 121 (1st ptg, 1954)
Title: With Sirens Screaming
Author: Ernest Booth
Cover artist: looks like Robert Stanley, but it's technically "uncredited"

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• "Who is it, Steve? Is the pizza here?"
• "They PAID the PRICE for a PREMARITAL indiscretion" - a PYRAMID PAPERBACK, featuring ... POLICE, and ... other "P" words you may have heard of
• "With Sirens Screaming" - Would have been better if the Sirens had been Screaming "Sin, Sin, Sin!"; what kind of alliteration-inducing dope were the copywriter guys smoking?
• What is she doing with that sheet? It's a little late for modesty, sweetheart.
• The lady looks concerned not, as you might expect, because the police have come to stone her to death for being a harlot, but because in attempting to rise from bed, she has broken or otherwise done something horrible to her left wrist
• Hey, Steve. Little advice. If you are trying to peer through a window discreetly, you might not wanna pull the curtains apart so wide.

"Hey, coppers, look at the hot piece of tail I got up in here! Yeah, you wish your wives were this hot!"

"[tee hee], oh Steve... you're funny, and not nearly as creepy and sadistic as my friends said you were"


Best things about this back cover:

• You had me at "merciless penal code."
• This back cover brought to you by "Adjectives 'R' Us" - where we believe that every shocking noun deserves a reckless adjective. If you aren't happy with our merciless service, we'll give you your vicious money back

Page 123~

His shoulder had become a burning area whose throbbing was cadenced to each step he took ...

"Uh ... that's not my shoulder."

~RP

Paperback 6 - Dell D102 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Great Smith
Author: Edison Marshall
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: SOLD (June '09)


Best things about this cover (Where to begin!?):

• "I'm ... too sexy for this shirt..."
• Peek-a-boo pants!? Why not?
• World's least supportive bra: "Keeps your breasts from floating up toward your face!"
• "Great Smith"??? "Smith" somehow doesn't go - it's anticlimactic, like "Fabulous Jones." Unless this guy is, in fact, one hell of a blacksmith.
• I want all of you who read this to start using the exclamation "Great Smith!" in your daily lives in place of profanity.

This is definitely from the cheesier regions of my collections. Despite its bad condition, and its ordinariness, its cheapness, its run-of-the-millness, I love this book - or this cover, I should say; I certainly haven't read it. Stanley is a great realist cover artist, and though his women always look the same, his art has a softness to its edges that makes it very easy on the eye, very pleasant to stare at. Still, it's hard to imagine someone, anyone, looking at this book in line at the supermarket and thinking, "Wow, that guy is Hot!" That said, I would kill to look like him from the neck down.

This book also has a painted back cover! More art!


Best things about this back cover:

• "I bring you ... maize" (which here looks like a giant puff of smoke, likely the result of a sticker pull)
• "Magnificent, lusty love-making" - that's both graphic and oddly tepid
• I believe that knight to be quite anachronistic, unless Great Smith is jousting in some early RenFest

RP