Paperback 1038: Avon 670 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: The Fugitive Eye
Author: Charlotte Jay
Cover artist: [George Ziel]

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $5-7

Best things about this cover:

• "Uh, hey ... I was just ... she was ... I ... just clearing some brush, you know ... at night, in my suit ... it's totally normal, everything's normal"
• Is that her dress, or did she die inside a giant salmon?
• Talk about a fugitive eye. I'm over here, buddy!
• Fear Hand (male edition)

Best things about this back cover:

• "How do we convey the sheer terror!?" "Maybe write it on a slant?" "OMG THAT IS TERRIFYING!"
• "Don't start this..." LOL, OK!
• I'm mad at "Invariably"; yeah, you heard me, Cincinnati Times-Star
• "MISS"—we got ourselves an unmarried Aussie authoress, boys!
• "Beat Not the Bones" never doesn't make me laugh

Page 123~

But as he looked around his gaze met no human face.

There was this one raccoon face, but raccoons probably couldn't testify in court, thought Steve

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 1001: Avon T-375 (PBO, 1959)

Title: I, Barbarian
Author: Jay Scotland
Cover artist: [George Ziel]

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $12

Best things about this cover:

• His mind on women, his groin on horses
• I, Shirtless—the flamingest novel east of the Urals!
• His left hand is weird. Like it should be holding something. An ice cream cone, or a lovely bouquet of flowers, perhaps

Best things about this back cover:

• This novel's not frank, but it is frankish
• Adjective every noun!
• I like this little sword-split design

Page 123~

"Didn't you notice the unbounded delight in the eyes of his highest excellency when you gave that last feverish lunge toward the edibles?"

If there's another way to approach edibles, I haven't found it.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 956: Avon T-384 (PBO, 1960)

Title: The Big Gold Dream
Author: Chester Himes
Cover artist: [George Ziel]

Estimated value: $50-60
Condition: (9+/10)

Best things about this cover:

• She has that face I get when I look at the internet for too long. But she has better lips. And better hair. In that she actually has hair.
• Love the Big Gold Font
• I'm not usually a big fan of the multi-scene cover, largely because it makes all the visual elements too small to have the kind of dramatic impact I like, but this particular iteration is nicely handled. Captures the darkness and brightness (and architectural elements) of the city really nicely.
• This book is in indescribably great condition. Shiny. Square. Unfaded. Tiny bit of wear to spine and very faint warp toward the tippy top of the book are the only things keeping this from 10/10 condition rating.
• Chester Himes is a really important writer—possibly the most important black crime fiction writer in US history. The fact that I own a first-edition Himes in *this* condition is one of the crowning glories of my 20-year collecting addiction odyssey.

Best things about this back cover:

• Those numbers slips are Fantastic. The rest, blargh.
• Does have a compelling opening line, though. I want to dream about pies exploding with 100 dollar bills!
• "The smell of fresh violence filled the air" is one of the more haunting lines I've read on a back cover.
• Coffin Ed Johnson and Gravedigger Jones remain the best-named detectives in crime fiction history. Hercule shmercule.

Page 123~

Slick turned his stare back to Susie. "You're not very bright, rockhead," he said. "He wants to cut himself a slice of our pie."
"He's going to get more slices than he's looking for," Susie threatened.

Ooh, double entendre. Good one, Susie.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Welcome back to further tales of my addiction.

Dondie is back with me once again to help me comment on the paperback carnage. And we're off:

Title: The Man with the Heart in the Highlands and Other Stories
Author: William Saroyan
Cover artist: Cassler

• And thus "Riverdance" was born ...
• "Dance, Timmy, dance, or I'll cut off your other arm!"
• This book was later retitled "The Child Predator with the Heart in the Highlands." (Subtitle: "Queerscarf!")
• Dondie says: "Ballet for the geriatric pedophile in all of us!"
• Dondie and I cannot agree on whether that is a cornet or a flugelhorn.

Title: The Age of Analysis
Editor: Morton White
Cover artist: Uncredited

• "Shh, I'm contemplating."
• "My bicep is HUGE! And astonishingly truncated!"
• Spirograph! - "Mom, look what I made in Arts & Crafts today!"
• Dondie says: "P.S., my hand looks like a buttox!"
• If you cover up "YSIS," this title is funny.

[Interloper book - not from Book Sale, but from Salvation Army]

Title: Satan's Rock
Author: Marilyn Ross
Cover artist: [George Ziel]

• Lucy Ashton says: "Pax vobiscum"
• "We finally saved up enuff to get that castle addition on the old barn - uh oh, Bessie, it done caught fire already!"
• Rex says: "This castle is pooping out the moon ... onto a boat."
  
• Satan's architectural abomination - how does that monstrosity not crush the outcropping it's built on top of?
• Dondie says: "I want that shade of lipstick. I think it's called 'Coral.' I haven't seen that shade in some time."

Title: Echo Round His Bones
Author: Thomas M. Disch
Cover artist: Uncredited

• Jewfro Sanderson and His Posse of Floating Vitamins!
• "I've come back from the future to get a refund for this awful haircut. You are getting sleepy ..."
• Is he coming through the rainbow pastel portal on his knees?
• Most highly decorated general ever: "I came back to get my forty-third star, biatch!"

"The year is 1990" is the funniest sentence ever.

"The year is 1990. The universe has witnessed the ultimate invention: The Chunnel!" (also "The Simpsons" and Windows 3.0)

Title: The Dark Frontier
Author: Eric Ambler
Cover artist: Oliver [...]

• Apparently, her bra is only 50% operational.
• Pencil Mustache liked to grip his gun with just two fingers - Euro-style.
• Her pendant weirdly matches the emblem on Pencil Mustache's gigantic cap.
• Dondie says: "I'm quite sure he is doing something to her ass."
• Are they in a ghost lab? What is that syringe / baster / bunsen burner on her left?

Title: Daybreak
Author: Frank G. Slaughter
Cover artist: James Meese

• First thing you must do - click on "Daybreak" (above) for background music while you read this entry and clap your hands like a doofus with your fingers drastically outstretched.
• Next thing you must do - read the back cover. Since you can't, we'll tell you what it says. It begins:

"The operation is simple. It is called a frontal lobotomy and its purpose is to pacify the violently insane."

OK, that's pretty much all you need to know. And now, the one-act play that is ... Daybreak:

Lynn: "Hello, my name is Lynn. Will you be removing my frontal lobes this morning? I put on this yellow dress for you. Let's go play tennis. I want to kill you with my teeth and bare hands."
Jim: "Your eyebrows are far too black for us to proceed. Do you like my neck whistle? I just came back from coaching a soccer game."
Lynn: "Your hands feel manly."
Jim: "Your shoulders are small. Say 'aaah.'"
Lynn: "Jim, I don't want to be rude, but ... you have a giant dollop of toothpaste on your head."
Jim: "No, Lynn. That's my yarmulke. You are just being violently insane. Now, I repeat, Say 'Aaah!'"
Lynn: "But Jim, my mouth only opens this far."
Jim: "Well then, we have our work cut out for us, and I do mean 'cut out'"
[both characters chuckle amiably]
Jim: "Here, take two of these gigantic Mexican aspirin and take off that dress."
Lynn, reading: "'Aspirina...' Is that safe?"
Jim: "For the violently insane, yes. It helps numb your lobes. P.S. your slip is showing."

• "RO RO RO your boat..."
• The casting of "Ginger" on "Gilligan's Island" was a long and arduous process, and involved many a gland check.
• Dondie says: here is a one-scene play I have written about this cover:

Ginger: "Don't hate me just because I'm wrapped in a curtain!"
The Count: "But my cuffs are so satiny and superfluous, I must strangle!"
Ginger: "Perhaps if I expose my teeth in a feral grimace, I can convince you to leave me alone and shave your sideburns."

Title: Dance of Love
Author: Arthur Schnitzler
Illustrations: Rene Gockinga
Cover artist: Uncredited

• Dondie says: "Those are pretty nice boobs ... If I had those boobs, I'd probably have a lot more money."
• Why is her right boob so much longer than her left one?
• Her hair is patriotic.
• She has a face that says one or more of the following:

A. "My boyfriend is a douche."
B. "Thanks for the heroin."
C. "My left breast casts an impressive shadow."
D. "Are you looking at ... this nipple?"
E. "Get me a beer, put the money on the dresser, and get out."

Join us next week for Further Tales from the Book Sale.

RP (with Dondie)