Random Longbox

TITLE: DC Comics Presents #8

PUBLISHER: DC Comics

COVER DATE: April 1979

COVER PRICE: $0.40

17 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

I made a comment not too long ago about how there're very few characters or titles left where I'm actively trying to complete a collection, of which Superman is one of them. I also recently reached a point in my collecting with Action Comics and Superman where the majority of the holes that I have left now lie knee deep in the silver age or earlier. Needless to say, the higher price points have slowed down my collecting just a bit.

To help combat the Superman back-issue withdrawls, I set my sights on a lot of the secondary titles, with DC Comics Presents being the cream of the crop. About two years ago I found a complete collection of all 101 issues on ebay for a hundred bucks.

I've since read some here and there, but haven't gotten around to this one yet. So not only are we going in cold on this one, but this will also be the very first pre-"Alan Moore" Swamp Thing story I've ever read too!

Before we get into it, let's just take a moment to admire yet another awesome cover by one of my favorite Superman artists from this era...Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez! His Superman compliments what Curt Swan was doing at the time, but really amps up the athleticism and power of Superman without overdoing it. It's a very "Marvel" looking Superman.

So let's crack this thing open and see what we have in store for us.

"The Sixty Deaths of Solomon Grundy!"

• Writer: Steve Englehart
• Artist: Murphy Anderson
• Letterer: Ben Oda
• Colorist: Jerry Serpe
• Editor: Juluis Schwartz

The story opens up in the sewers of Metropolis, as the Swamp Thing shambles through the underbelly of the city with a singular purpose. A recent newspaper article from the Daily Planet has led him here to search the sewers for Solomon Grundy. He's hoping that this "Marshland Monster" can provide some clue to his condition, and hopefully a way to reverse it.

It's worth noting at this point, that this issue is still relatively early in Swamp Thing's career. He debuted seven years earlier, but his series only lasted for twenty-four issues. This was also long before Alan Moore turned him into an elemental spirit of sorts, so what we have here reminds me a lot of The Incredible Hulk t.v. show...trapped in this savage form, he wanders the country using his scientific intellect to try to reverse the accident that made him a monster.

So now his travels have brought him to Metropolis, his hopes resting on finding Solomon Grundy, who recently gave Superman some trouble. Unfortunately for him, Superman has found him first.

Superman aims to capture Grundy once and for all, but Swamp Thing realizes that if he succeeds, then there goes his chance of finding a potential cure. He doesn't want to do it, but he must stop Superman from apprehending Grundy.

Superman could more than likely take each of these monsters out quite easily on their own, but together they manage to get the upper hand.


Leaving Superman alive but unconscious, the two brothers of the bog depart with Grundy following Swamp Thing like a lost puppy. Luckily for the Swamp Thing, they soon stumble upon an abandoned laboratory in the sewers. It's rudimentary, but should be adequate enough to analyze a skin sample of Grundy's. Metropolis was such a wonderful place in the 60's and 70's, as there was always an abandoned warehouse or laboratory around when you needed one.


Meanwhile, after regaining his consciousness, Superman heads to S.T.A.R. Labs with a sample of the sewer water from his recent battle for them to analyze. He needs to find out what is causing Solomon Grundy's recent reappearances.

While the scientists dash off to do the grunt work, it's time for Superman to lay the Kryptonian charm on Lois.

Wait a minute...did I miss an issue or sixty somewhere between the beginning of the Bronze Age and the Modern Age?

Apparently I did.

Alas, the life of a superhero can never be this uncomplicated, as Solomon Grundy reappears right outside of S.T.A.R. Labs.

But isn't he down in the sewers with the Swamp Thing?

No time to worry about that just now...go get 'em, Superman!

Speaking of Swamp Thing, he's finally done with his makeshift genetic experiments with negative results. Since Grundy isn't truly alive, there's no connection between the two of them, and thus no hope for a cure just yet. Just as Swamp Thing is about to break the bad news to Grundy, they overhear a news broadcast about Superman's recent defeat of Solomon Grundy, which filters down through the sewer pipes.


Grundy heads to the surface to confront Superman as the one true Solomon Grundy, when Superman finally realizes that he has a bigger problem on his hands. And wouldn't you know it, Grundy has cock-blocked him once again!

Superman rushes back to S.T.A.R. Labs, where they have managed to synthesize a chemical from the sewer water that Superman can use to destroy the army of Grundy's that are ravaging Metropolis. Swamp Thing emerges from the sewer just as Superman flies off to destroy the marauding marsh monsters.

During their short time together, the Swamp Thing realized that even though the Grundy beasts are not truly "alive", they don't deserve to die either. But as we've already seen, it's too late. Besides, Superman's only a man...with manly desires...and he's going to do what it takes so that Grundy will not interrupt him and Lois again.

He's not completely heartless, however, as he does manage to give a parting thought for the Swamp Thing, musing that one day maybe he'll be able to help him too. Hopefully, it'll be help of a more compassionate kind than he gave Grundy.


SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

Apparantly Superman spent a lot of time in the sewers of Metropolis in the 70's, as the last time we reviewed one of his books from this era he was down there too. That one featured S.T.A.R. Labs also, which was also it's first appearance.

And here's another coincidence that just occured to me. That previous Superman/Swamp Monster/Sewer battle was written by none other than Len Wein, the creator of Swamp Thing, a full year before Swamp Thing's first appearance. Could that story have been an idea that stuck with Len Wein, eventually germinating into the Swamp Thing? Who knows, but the timing sure is freaky.

Anyway, we're here to talk about what we learned from this book, right?

Overall, there's not too much here that's really consequential to either Swamp Thing or Superman. It's a nice little done-in-one that pushes along both character's narratives, without really either deviating from what came before, or veering off into a new direction.

If you read this issue as an homage or a tribute to the work of Wein and Wrightson, then it's decent enough, if not a little on the light side. The artwork from Murphy Anderson is serviceable, but really doesn't aspire to give us anything other than the standard DC house style of the time. That's a bit of a shame, as the Swamp Thing is a character that definitely invites a little artistic experimentation.

We started reading all 80 pages of the 50th Anniversary Issue celebrating Superman's first appearance in Action Comics earlier, but now let's finish this big issue out lightning round style.

The first story dealt with Superman teaming up with Wonder Woman to take down Darkseid, while the rest of the stories have a decidedly less cosmic flavor to them. They also help to round out Superman's supporting cast with stories focusing on Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, and Lex Luthor. Oh, and Man-Bat.

Man-Bat? I guess nothing screams "600 issues of Superman in Action Comics" like a Man-Bat story. That's the last one up however, so in the meantime let's start it up with Lois Lane.

no title given

• Plot: John Byrne
• Script: Roger Stern
• Pencils: Kurt Schaffenberger
• Inks: Jerry Ordway
• Letters: Bill Oakley
• Colors: Petra Scotese

While investigating a story on an escaped mob boss returning to Metropolis, Lois gets in over her head. She relies on a self-defense technique taught to her by whom...

• Her father, General Sam Lane
• A Las Vegas chorus girl
• Superman himself

It's best not to go with the obvious on this one, as the correct answer is the Las Vegas chorus-line girl.

No worries though, as her chorus girl kick does the trick and the mobster is soon back in police custody as Lois heads back to the Daily Planet to file her story. When she arrives, she's in for a shocker as the front page has already been taken by the love story of the century...Superman and Wonder Woman!

It seems a paper in Boston has got quite the scoop about their budding relationship, leaving the Daily Planet with a little bit of egg on it's face by being out-scooped in its own hometown. Lois takes it hard, but Clark assures her that the original story is not based on fact.

So what does our hard-nosed reporter due next?

• Wallows in self-pity while she walks home
• Heads out to get the real story about this "Super-Romance Of The Century"
• She throws herself out of the window of the Daily Planet in a bid to have Superman rescue her so she can confront him

Hopefully you're starting to sense a pattern here, as the answer is not the obvious one.

As she walks back to her apartment, she takes the long way home and bemoans her misfortune of being just a plain human. How is she supposed to win Superman's heart when she's up against Wonder Woman?

When she finally gets to her apartment, Lois is soon surprised by a knock on the door. Who comes to see her?

• Superman, holding a dozen roses, who then escorts her to the Fortress Of Solitude on an official date
• Clark Kent, who soon ditches her when an emergency arises and Superman is needed
• Lex Luthor, looking for a little rebound action booty-call

Alas, for poor Lois it was Clark. He had the best of intentions, arriving with a friendly shoulder for Lois to cry on, but when Superman is needed, sacrifices must be made.

Games People Play

• Story: John Byrne
• Pencils: Dick Giordano
• Inks: John Beatty
• Coloring: Tom Ziuko
• Lettering: Albert DeGuzman

It's another average day for Lex Luthor, power-broker of Metropolis and thorn in Superman's side. Who does he summon to his office to confront about their treatment of him?

• Jimmy Olsen, about his camera constantly flashing in his face
• Lois Lane, about her constant investigative reporting into his business activities
• Maggie Sawyer, about the constant trail that the S.C.U. have on Luthor and his people

Yeah, it would appear that the S.C.U. are getting too good at their job and are getting a little too close for Lex's liking.

Luckily for Lex, Maggie has a little secret that is ripe for the blackmailing. What is it?

• She's secretly the Alpha Centurion
• She's a lesbian
• She likes to smoke a little something else in her cigarette holder every once in a while

This was the late 80's, and unfortunately for Captain Sawyer, being a woman in her position of power could easily have been brought low if it became common knowledge that she was in fact a lesbian.

Lex calls in his secretary to add an exclamation point to his accusations, so to speak, but Maggie ain't taking the bait. At the very least, it gives Dick Giordano a chance to give us a little eye candy.

Maggie didn't get to where she was by accident however, and she calls his bluff and tells Luthor to go ahead and expose her secret as she won't be intimidated by anyone. Luthor, not used to being talked back to, does something out of frustration that ends up putting him in the Lex Corp infirmary. What was it?

• He kicks his desk, which was previously lined with lead to prevent Superman's prying eyes
• He shoves Maggie and her pointy cigarette holder hits him in the eye
• He bangs his fist on this desk, exposing the fact that the kryptonite ring he wears has been poisoning him

Yes, this is the issue where we find out that the ring the Lex wore to keep Superman at bay would soon go on to cause him all sorts of problems.

One of the biggest problems would be for us, the readers, as it would usher in the introduction of the long-haired, hipster Lex of the early 90's.

A Friend In Need

• Plot: John Byrne
• Script: Roger Stern
• Pencils: Curt Swan
• Inks: Murphy Anderson
• Letters: Albert DeGuzman
• Colors: Tom Ziuko

While investigating a story, Jimmy Olsen uses his signal watch to alert Superman of what impending disaster.

• A toxic waste spill
• A chemical fire
• A broken down truck

A trick question, as the answer is all of the above.

All of this is kids play for Superman though, and he soon has everything under control. Instead of basking in the glory of another job well done, Superman collapses and can barely speak long enough to ask for Jimmy's help.

Suspecting some sort of kryptonite poisoning, what does Jimmy do?

• Uses a forklift truck to lift Superman and drive him to some underground caves
• Uses a crane to lift Superman to the local lead smelting plant to encase him in lead
• Raids the general store for all of the Reynolds Wrap, and wraps Superman in it

Yes, the fast thinking Jimmy borrows a fork-lift truck from a local warehouse to drive Superman underground.

Luckily for Superman, the local caverns have a high lead ratio and Superman hopes that that will be enough to shield him from the kryptonite poisoning.

Now those of you up on your Superman knowledge know that at this time there was very little kryptonite around. So what's with the sudden onset of kryptonite poisoning?

• The truck that caught fire was filled with synthetic kryptonite, of which Superman caught a lungful of
• Unbeknown to Superman, Metallo was driving the tanker that caught fire
• It was radiation from the explosion of Kryptonite that finally reached the earth after traveling at the speed of light all these years

It's all about the science, as Superman has calculated that with thee distance between Krytpon and Earth, it would be just about now that the radiation would start to hit us. You think that if he would've known about it, that he would've been a little better prepared.

Oh well, whatever doesn't kill us just makes us stronger, right Superman?

Uh oh, it looks like Superman is still feeling a little under the weather.

So just who does Jimmy go to for help now? You'll just have to tune in next time to find out.

That's right, there's still one more story to go, but its late and I'm going to bed. Come back soon for "The Dark Where Madness Lies".

TITLE: Tales of the Green Lantern #1

PUBLISHER: DC

COVER DATE: September 1998

COVER PRICE: $1.95

23 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

When I was pulling this particular issue out of the longboxes, I noticed that I only had a few issues from the first Tangent series of books. I thought for sure that I had 'em all, as I remember enjoying these books and I guess I just assumed that I did have the complete collection.

So what were the Tangent books, some of you are no doubt asking?

They were a series of one-shots that explored an alternate earth (now known as Earth-9) where familiar super-hero names were recycled and re-imagined as different characters. This particular take on the heroes was the brainchild of Dan Jurgens, and came from back in they day when DC used to do the occasional 5th week specials, and I remember this being one of the better ones.

The funny thing is, is that I have fond recollections of the concept but beyond the Green Lantern (whom we're going to read about it a second) I have next to no recollection of any of the other characters. The only thing I do recall is that Superman was a black man and the Joker was an anarchist girl. I'm sure we'll get to those issues sooner or later as the Randomizer deems fit, but for now it's all about Green Lantern.

This version of Green Lantern took the concept literally and features a female protagonist who carries an actual lantern on a shephard's hook that emits green light. She wanders in and out of reality, using her powers to give the dead one last chance to make amends among the living, like a cross between the Phantom Stranger and Rod Serling.

James Robinson and J.H. Williams III were responsible for her first appearance, and the concept perfectly fits both of their storytelling styles. For this issue, which is from the second series of Tangent books, they handle the framing sequence while letting a group of other talented creators tell some smaller stories.

With that said, let's travel along with the Green Lantern of Earth-9 as she shines her light into the darkness of men's souls.

Tales of the Green Lantern

• Writer: James Robinson
• Art: J.H. Williams III & Mick Gray
• Colors & Seperarions: Lee Loughridge
• Letters: Comicraft
• Editer: Eddie Berganza
• Tangent based on concepts by Dan Jurgens

The issue opens up with the Green Lantern talking directly to us, the reader. She breaks the fourth wall to let us know that the stories in this issue are special, as all three of them portend to tell the true origin of the Green Lantern.

Which one is real? Are they all real? Or are none of them?

I guess we'll just have to read on and decide for ourselves.

Brightest Light

• Story: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning
• Art: Mike Mayhew & Wade Van Grawbadger

First up is the story of Lois Lane...Archaeologist, adventurer, and explorer. For this particular tale, she also plays the role of murder victim.

Off the coast of Florida, she has been hired by Booster Gold, a billionaire playboy, to search for lost treasure. What she finds is an irradiated wasteland filled with pitiful creatures of the sea who have already suffered enough by man's hands.

Returning to the surface, she tells Booster Gold that she will have no part of the plunder down below and that he should call of his hunt. Alas, Booster could not be swayed and with the help of his servant, Kilowog, they murder Lois and dump her into the sea.

Falling into the depths of the wasted sea, she is rescued by the same creatures that she showed compassion for earlier. They take her to an underground citadel that is bathed in green light and she emerges as the Green Lantern!

Gifted with a second chance at life, she has vowed to avenge the dead in a quest for justice. Her first act will be to avenge her own murder. Booster is unprepared to deal with an undead shade, nor the sea monsters that she calls from the depths to drag Booster down with them.

Darkest Light

• Story: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning
• Art: Georges Jeanty & Drew Garaci

The second version of the origin story takes place in the war-torn nation of Czechoslovakia. The ethnic cleansing of one people at the hands of another has given birth to two adversaries who continue to fight the battles of the past to this day.

Manhunter has risen to avenge the deaths of her people who have died in the ethnic camps of Darkside!

Manhunter uses the tools of man to bring them to justice, while Darkside has taken the mystical power of a green orb with which she can raise the dead to do her bidding.

In the midst of their epic and final battle, Manhunter's mind wanders to the train of events that led her here. After the war, it was assumed that Darkside was finished, but Manhunter knew better. She spent her time hunting her and eventually tracked her down, living a quite life under a false identity. She quickly kills the mass murderer, only to find out that Darkside still lives and has resurfaced back in Czechoslovakia. Now with the guilt of an innocent victim on her conscience, she has returned to hunt down Darkside once and for all.

Back in the present, Manhunter is running low on ammo working her way through the hordes of zombies that Darkside is sending her way. It's then, that she sees the ghost of the innocent girl that she had gunned down earlier by mistake. It turns out the dead woman is Darkside's sister, who had fled to try to build a life far from the evil influence of her mad sister.

The dead woman is not here for vengeance, however, as she sees a chance to end her sisters villainy once and for all. As the sisters are locked in a mystic battle, Manhunter comes from the shadows swinging a lantern that she is using as a makeshift club.

Darkside's mystic orb is shattered, along with Darkside herself, leaving behind only the green energy which her sister collects and store it in the lantern that Manhunter had used. With her sister defeated for good, the Green Lantern will now become a shining beacon of hope for all those that have been wronged.

Know Evil

• Story: John Ostrander
• Artists: Ryan Sook & Mick Gray

The last tale in our trilogy of origins centers on a brash, young sorceress Zatanna. She has tracked down the powerful sorcerers that make up the Dark Circle and is demanding a place in their coven.

Filled with the likes of Etrigan, Rha's al Ghul, the Creeper, and Madame X'Al, they are disdainful of this young upstart who would dictate to them her place in their circle. They send her on a fool's errand, promising her a place in the circle if she brings the legendary Green Lantern to them. They have no intention of allowing her into the circle, for they know full well that it will lead to her damnation.

Determined as always, she is successful in tracking it and it's current wielder Jason Blood. During her attack, her spells are redirected back at her causing her body to perish and her sould to wander.

That actually turns out to be an opportunity for both Zatanna and Jason Blood. The lantern, it turns out, controls the wielder to give life to the restless dead so that they can find final peace.

For years Jason Blood has held this duty, but the lantern senses a soul more in need of guidance than his. Now bonded with the lantern, Zatanna has become the new Green Lantern, allowing the soul of Jason Blood to finally find peace.

So there you have it. Three lives lost with three tales of revenge and redemption. Are any of these the true origin of the Green Lantern? We'll never know, for there are more mausoleum's filled with the dead who need justice as well, and this Green Lantern has no more time for memories that may or may not be hers.

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

It seems that at times alternate versions of existing characters are a dime-a-dozen. The best ones are complete re-imaginings of the core concept, above and beyond just slapping a goatee on the character and calling it a day.

This was one of the better ones, as James Robinson, J.H. Williams III, and Dan Jurgens have taken the Green Lantern name and completely re-worked it. I like the concept and the structure of this title, as it gives a wide latitude to tell a variety of stories. It's a perfect structure for an anthology title, reminiscent of The House of Secrets and The House of Mystery. It's a shame that there's just not a market to warrant the return of this title as an ongoing, as I'd love to see it smack dab in the middle of the DCU.

Alas, in the meantime I have Vertigo's House of Mystery to keep me entertained. In the world of consolation prizes, you can't do much better than that.

The artwork in this issue was really exceptional, with the highlight being Mike Mayhew and Georges Jeanty. I don't have too much by them, but what I saw here was really solid. The only downside in this issue was Ryan Sook's chapter. It wasn't bad, but it was back when he was in full Mike Mignola mode. I, for one, like his current style a whole lot better and am content to let Mike Mignola do the Mike Mignola style.

TITLE: Superman #215

PUBLISHER: DC

COVER DATE: April 1969

COVER PRICE: $0.12

24 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

This issue came out over a year before I was born, so there's not a whole lot I remember from when it was actually released. It then only took the better part of three decades or so before it found it's way into my collection.

As I mentioned yesterday, this is one of the imaginary stories that used to appear with some regularity in and around the sixties. If I remember correctly, this one is pretty entertaining as we watch Superman deal with his grief over the loss of his wife, Lois Lane.

Now before you start calling for my head on a stake for taking pleasure in Superman's loss, you have to remember that this is a Superman book from the 60's. You know he'll be making some questionable moral and ethical decisions.

Lois Lane...Dead...Yet Alive

• Writer: Otto Binder
• Penciler: Curt Swan
• Inker: Jack Abel
• Editor: Mort Weisinger

The story opens up as Lois' closest friends and family mourn her recent passing.

So how did it come to be that Superman now stands graveside, a devastated man? Did Brainiac or Luthor finally find the way to break Superman once and for all?

No, it took the brain power and foresight of a master villain like the Dimension Master?! Hmmm...can't say as I ever remember coming across him before now. I guess he's kept a pretty low profile while perfecting his ultimate crime (and by the look of his outfit, working summers part time at the renaissance festival).

His master plan involves shooting Superman with his Blast-Ray, hoping to scatter his atoms to the winds. Unfortunately, the blast ricochets off of Superman's chest and strikes Lois. In a puff of smoke, she was gone.

Now Superman is left to cope without his wife, while also having to raise their daughter, Laney, all by himself. Needless to say, Superman makes some rather odd parenting choices. Without further ado, let's take a look at Superman's fool proof plan for finding love and happiness again in ten easy steps.


This one's a two-fer! After the sudden loss of your mother, what child would not want to then be separated from her father until after the funeral? And as a father and a husband, how could you not want to be even closer to your kids after such a tragedy. Ah well, grief does strange things to people.


Once settled in to the Fortress, Superman lets Laney play on his super-exercising bars...right in front of the one door she should never open! Well, it's not like he'd ever do anything foolish like leaving his kryptonite samples right next to where his half-Kryptonian daughter is playing.


While continuing his secret identity as Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet, it's left to Krypto and the occasional robot Superman to babysit little Laney. I don't see anything wrong with that.


What better way to honor the memory of your mother than to create a robot to mimic her looks and mannerisms. Happy one year anniversary of your mother's death, Laney!


So that's why you built the robotic Lois, eh Clark? Even a superman must get cold and lonely at the Fortress from time to time. Unfortunately for him, her battery life fizzles out five panels later.


So remember that door that Laney wasn't supposed to open? Well she did, and guess what? There was red kryptonite back there after all. The exposure to it sent Laney to another dimension. When Superman follows her there, he finds that the Lois of this world is still alive!


After saving this world's Lois from a giant octopus (don't ask), Superman proposes at her bedside. I'm sure she'll be all right knowing that she's a replacement Lois for a Superman that's not even from her dimension.


Well that's one way to introduce your daughter to her new mommy, and vice versa.


What could possibly go wrong with this plan? It's not like Lois is a whip-smart, investigative reporter who uses her skills to piece together stories that people more often than not don't want told...

Wait a minute, she is? Oh...

Well, it's not like Laney is a precocious six-year old, and they never catch you off guard asking uncomfortable questions...

Yeah, I foresee some problems in the near future.


So yeah, happily ever after. Now if he could only find two Lois' who are both alive at the same time! After reading this story, I'm sure Superman's got the skills to be able to pull that one off.

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

I'm not sure we learned anything, or at least anything useful, in this story.

If you did, I think you may need to re-evaluate how you look at love, parenting, relationships, etc...

At least this issue had a nice Neal Adams cover. In fact, he probably did too nice a job, as it was easily the most emotionally satisfying part of this book. In this case, you definitely can't judge a book by it's cover.

I do have one last rather trivial thought about this issue. It looks like at this point in Superman's history that the writers have started to get lazy coming up with new double "L" names for the females in his world. I mean, honestly...Laney Lane? What if they had had a son instead of a daughter? You just know there's a parallel world out there somewhere with a little Kenty Kent running around.

Click here for the second story from this issue, following the exploits of Superbaby!

All right, let's do this thing...the final story from Superman #246 reviewed for your entertainment.

This particular story is a reprint of Superman #40, from May/June 1946. This one slips in on a technicality, as the oldest book I actually own is from 1954. That means we probably aren't going to be getting too many golden age books here at Random Longbox, so let's dig in and enjoy this one.

There Is No Superman!

• Writer: Jerry Siegel
• Pencils: Ira Yarbrough
• Inks: Stan Kaye

The story opens up with Clark Kent working on a report of a golf tournament at the exclusive Metropolis Golf Club. So exclusive is this club, that it's the perfect place for "Squint" Ratley and his mob to rob all of the well-to-do onlookers.

It's fortunate indeed that Clark (Superman) Kent is on the scene to apprehend the gangsters. It's even more fortuitous that he has already written his article before the tournament is even over.

Nice journalistic integrity there Clark! If this gig at The Planet doesn't work out, I think there may be an opening or two at Fox News.

Superman shows off his super golf swing by using the mobsters as clubs and balls, and making short work of the whole affair.

Back at The Daily Planet the next day, Perry White is congratulating Clark on another fine Superman story when they are interrupted by someone bursting into his office. It's Professor Walter Whiffensniff, and he has the scoop of the century as he has scientifically calculated that Superman does not exist!

Needless to say, Perry, Clark, and Lois don't believe him. They site the numerous stories and eyewitnesses as proof of his existence. Undeterred, Professor Whiffensniff leaves in a huff, promising to give his exclusive to The Morning Pictorial instead.

Perry gives the story to Clark to follow up on. See this post from a few days ago for an in-depth look at the inner workings of a fine news organization like The Daily Planet.

Clark decides to tail the professor as Superman to better keep an eye on him. It's a good thing too, as he soon visits the home of "Flatnose" Flanagan. Superman was responsible for his recent incarceration and the professor is determined to question him about it.

You'd think a doddering old professor would be in over his head dealing with gangsters, but this is no ordinary scientist. Look at that hopping action! And the way he wields that umbrella! I would wager a bet that he is a master of the drunken professor kung fu style.

It's only a matter of time before Flanagan's goons get the better of him, forcing Superman to take action. He needs to talk to Flanagan alone so that he can convince him to play along with the professor's delusions.

So does he use his super speed to whisk Flanagan away before anyone is the wiser? Or how about his super ventriloquism to lure Flanagan to the other room? No, he uses the old prank call routine!

"Hello? Mr. Flatnose Flanagan? Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

After some mild persuasion (or tortu--I mean enhanced interrogation techniques), Flanagan agrees to play along and tells the professor that he made it all up. Superman is a fake!

It's quite the scoop the next morning as Professor Whiffensniff's accusations hit the front page of the Daily Pictorial. It's all too much to bear for the citizens of Metropolis as toddlers and grown men alike are unable to cope in a world without Superman.

In a repudiation of the effectiveness of Superman's persuasion, Flatnose Flanagan heads to The Daily Planet and spills the entire story to Lois. It seems he was sore at Superman for making him lie to the professor. Never mind the fact that he was ready to rough up the old professor three pages ago...but lie to him? That's just a line his conscience refuses to cross.

Lois strikes back with her exclusive, which forces the professor into a desperate move. To prove that he is right and regain his reputation, he will put on a public demonstration.

So strongly does he believe that Superman doesn't exist that he is willing to be crushed by a steel weight to prove it. As Superman is the only person who could possible save him, his certain death will be all the evidence the world needs to prove his theories.

As the professor begins his experiment, a bank robbery is underway across the street. Clark, who of course was covering the spectacle for The Planet, dashes off to stop the robbery as Superman.

He soon has the situation under control and the robbers in police custody. The professor saw the whole thing and has had a change of heart. As a scientist, he cannot deny the evidence that he has seen with his own eyes...Superman is real after all!

So caught up was the professor in watching Superman's exploits, that he almost forgot that he is soon to be crushed to death by his experiment. He tries to shut it down, but the switch has stuck. He is doomed after all!

He decides that all he can do is make peace with his god, but how quickly he has forgotten that Superman is real!

Luckily for him, Superman hasn't forgotten!

He bursts through the electric barrier that kept the public away from the professor's death trap, and headbutts the gigantic metal block so that it crashes harmlessly away from the professor.

Transformed from the ultimate Superman doubter to one of his greatest admirers, Professor Whiffensniff gets a little starstruck and asks Superman for his autograph.

Superman, ever the good sport, is happy to oblige.

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

In my research for this issue, I discovered that this is the first appearance of both Professor Whiffensniff and "Flatnose" Flanagan!

Surprisingly, it was also their last.

Also, never underestimate the power of the crank call in your pursuit of justice.

Well that brings Superman week to a close. Thanks for humoring me and indulging my love of Superman books.

We'll get back to some other heroes soon, I promise.

All characters and artwork reproduced are (c) DC Comics