Random Longbox

So I was looking the site over, and checking out how everything looked now that I've been at this experiment for four months now. If you ask me, I'm as pleased as Punch.

Then I noticed something odd over in the Label Cloud.

I have more tags set up for Dazzler than I do for either Action Comics, Andy Kubert, Chris Claremont, Colossus, Dave Gibbons, Dr. Strange, Jim Lee, Lois Lane, Mark Waid, Red Skull, Spider-Man, or Wolverine!

Not even Stan Lee comes close.

Who knew I had such a thing for fad-based super heroines?

That's what I love about this blog...always learning something new.

Since I had such a good time with The X-Men vs. The Avengers #2 from yesterday, I thought I may as well read the first issue too.

It was a little more "talky" than the second issue, but it was still just as entertaining. And speaking of talky, I came across a horribly outdated panel that completely threw me out of the story and I wanted to share it with everyone.

Before we get to the panel though, I have to preface by pointing out that I was recently listening to one of the Bendis Tapes sessions on Word Balloon where Brian Bendis was giving someone (Matt Fraction?) a hard time about using current pop culture references in their stories.

He went on to tell a funny story about how someone thought it would be a good idea to give Peter Parker a Fred Durst style, red baseball cap when they were launching Ultimate Spider-Man.

Why would that've been such a bad idea? I present to the court Exhibit A...


To have a little more fun with it, let's take Bendis' example and "modernize" this panel up to the 90's!

TITLE: The X-Men vs. The Avengers #2

PUBLISHER: Marvel

COVER DATE: May 1987

COVER PRICE: $1.50

23 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

So here's a deep mystery. It's the spring of 1987. I'd been reading comics for a couple of years, and as I've mentioned ad nauseam already, I was a big time Avengers fan. I was also about a year into my decades long X-Men obsession.

So why, pray tell, do I only have the first two issues of this 4 issue mini-series?

Like I said...a mystery for the ages, but let's try to break it down anyway.

Was it the creative team? I don't think so, as this is written by Roger Stern. He was the only ongoing Avengers writer I knew up to his point, as his run predated my first issues. It's drawn by Marc Silvestri, and while he was not a bankable name just yet, he still drew a nice looking comic.

Was it the X-Men? I don't think it was their fault either. This team has far too much good going for it than bad. Between mohawk Storm, brown and yellow Wolverine, pre-Gambit Rogue, reformed Magneto, and Havok's hypnotic costume...I couldn't be happier. Well I suppose I could if Nightcrawler and Kitty were still around, but I already talked about their absence over here.

Was it the Avengers? We actually may be on to something here, as the Avengers were in a bit of decline at this point. This period in time is when Stern is nearing the end of his run, leading to Walter Simonson's ill-fated team. While we have Cap and She-Hulk (who always brightens up whatever team she's on), we also have armored Thor and Dr. Druid. Yikes! Captain Marvel and Black Knight round out the team, and while they're both great c-listers, they need more than just other c-listers to interact with to make the team interesting.

I suppose all that's left to do now is to read the actual book and find out.

Uneasy Allies

• Writer: Roger Stern
• Penciler: Marc Silvestri
• Inker: Josef Rubinstein
• Letterer: Joe Rosen
• Colorist: Christie Scheele
• Editors: Mark Gruenwald & Ann Nocenti
• Editor in Chief: Jim Shooter

Thank god for pre-90's comics, as the first page gives me everything I need to get me up to speed on what happened in the first issue. Long story short...Magneto's old base of operations, the recently destroyed Asteroid M, is crashing back to earth. Magneto is wanted for crimes related to his sinking a Russian sub in his pre-reformed days, so the international community sets a trap to catch him as he tries to salvage his old base from falling into the wrong hands.


We enter the story in the middle of a classic Mexican standoff, with Magneto in the middle. The Avengers want to bring Magneto in for a fair trial, the X-Men are backing up one of their own, and the Soviet Super-Soldiers want Magneto in Russian custody.

Needless to say, a brawl ensues.


The X-Men prove more wily than their foes, and make off with Magneto in tow. Dazzler absorbs all of the ambient jungle noise and blinds everyone by turning it into a burst of brilliant light, covering their escape.

They did seem to forget, however, that one of the Avengers can transform herself into pure light. That's a little like trying to stop Aquaman by summoning a tsunami.

Captain Marvel gets more than her fair share of ridicule, but I for one dig her signature flying formation. It's practically oozing with condescention.

She continues to keep tabs on the X-Men, while the Avengers take the time to put the Soviet Super-Soldiers in their place.

Meanwhile, Magneto isn't making any headway into getting the X-Men to trust him more as he rushes off alone to salvage Asteroid M.

Once there, Magneto finds some intact memory chips and circuits...oh yeah, and his old bucket helmet. Trust me on this one Magneto, putting that old helmet on is not really going to help any of the three teams trying to catch you to trust you.

But put it on he does, right in time for the Avengers to come upon him. Of course, the Avengers fear that he's up to no good and don't realize that he's actually trying to stop his old technology from falling into the wrong hands. They barely have a chance to take him down before the X-Men are once again on the scene.

We now get a true X-Men vs. Avengers fight without those pesky Russians.

Blade versus blade, as Wolverine takes on the Black Knight.

Brawn versus brawn, as She-Hulk takes on the Rogue.

The battle appears to be a draw, when the explosives that Magneto lined the asteroid with go off. Magneto proves he's actually one of the good guys by protecting both teams from the full front of the blast. Granted, he knows which side his bread is buttered on as the Avengers are all left unconscious from the explosion while the X-Men make their escape in the Blackbird.

Proving that I've been too hard on him, Dr. Druid is the only Avenger to come out on top, as he stows away on the escaping blackbird jet while mentally masking his presence from the X-Men.

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

I'm no closer now, after having read this issue, to realizing why I never bothered to pick up the rest of this mini-series. I rather enjoyed this issue. So much so, that I'm going to have to go back-issue hunting for the last two parts.

It wasn't good like Watchmen is good, this was more like a rediscovery of a lost tale from a period of X-Men history that makes me happy. It's like one of those hyped-up DVD extras that is actually entertaining! The art by Marc Silvestri makes it seem even more so, as he would start pencilling his vaunted Uncanny X-Men shortly after this series wrapped.

This is another one of those type of books that make doing this blog so much fun. The fact that the Randomizer has chosen it hot on the heels of the big X-men/Avengers crossover that just recently wrapped with the resurgence of Asteroid M is just icing on the cake.

I look forward to seeing what the Randomizer has in store for me next.

TITLE: The Uncanny X-Men #232

PUBLISHER: Marvel

COVER DATE: August 1988

COVER PRICE: $1.00

22 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

I actually don't remember a whole lot about this particular issue. The Brood have never been one of my favorite X-Villains, and I guess I just sorta let this storyline drift from my memory.

I already mentioned previously what I love about the X-Men from this period, so I'll spare you once again.

One thing I do remember vividly about Uncanny X-Men as a title, was that it was the first book where I really paid attention to the credits above and beyond writer and penciler.

Dan Green was probably the first inker that I knew by name. From the day that I started reading the X-Men he was the inker and finisher for Uncanny, and he definitely helped smooth the series over from penciler to penciler.

The other name that will probably stick in my mind until the end of time is Tom Orzechowski. His lettering defined the look of an X-Men book like no one else. So strong was his presence that it was instantly noticeable when absent. I'm not too much of a lettering aficionado, but an X-book just isn't a real X-book if it's not lettered by Orzechowski.

And with that, let's dive in and see what trouble the Marvel mutants have gotten themselves into this time.

Earthfall

• Writer: Chris Claremont
• Penciler: Marc Silvestri
• Dan Green
• Colorist: Glynis Oliver
• Letterer: Tom Orzechowski
• Editors: Ann Nocenti & Bob Harras
• Editor in Chief: Tom DeFalco

The first page is pretty much what every Chris Claremont book needs...a recap page to bring us up to speed, as Claremont has split the roster up into three teams.

Ororo and Logan are in upstate New York dealing with murderous WWII super heroes turned vigilantes. This here is the version of Storm that I love. The first issues of Uncanny X-Men that I started reading off the racks were from when she returned to the team with the mohawk, leather and no powers. I know people like to poke fun at the punk Storm, but I could never get into the more traditional tiara and half cape.

Wow, two paragraphs in and I'm already waxing nostalgic about the good old days. I'll try to keep it in check a little bit better for the rest of this review.

Over in Scotland, Juggernaut is being given a hard time by Longshot, Rogue, Dazzler and Psylocke. Finally, in New Mexico, we catch up with Havok and Polaris who are enjoying date night at a local fiesta.

Not far from the fiesta, a group of local twentysomething's are camping at the foothills of the Rio Diablo mountains. Unfortunately for them, their peaceful night is shattered by the sudden appearance of a meteor crashing from the heavens and landing right next to them.

Surprised that they're not dead, they rush over to investigate and find a giant shark has crash landed? Yeah, I don't remember that...nor do I really understand it, either.

But wait, it gets even more incomprehensible! The shark is still alive and it eats one of the campers.

But wait, it gets yet even more incomprehensible! The ground turns out to be littered with The Brood, who begin to attack the remaining campers. So wait...The Brood traveled through space in a giant shark!?

On a side note, it turns out they do! I googled Brood Shark and the first web site to pop up was this one. It's truly an interesting read, even more interesting is that I have absolutely no memory of these star sharks, even though the apparently date from the earliest Brood appearances.

Let's just let it slide and move on. The Brood at least look cool, so we'll give their questionable choice of space travel a break this time.

Only one camper lives through the experience, and we catch up with him a couple of days later. He's back on his job as a paramedic in Denver, and is tearing through town in his ambulance on the way to an emergency.

He comes upon the scene of a mutant who has suffered a heart attack. During his cardiac arrest, he lost control of his powers and ended up scorching his office.

Our paramedic camper approaches him alone, but just when you think he's going to help him, it turns out that he's really a Brood now and he unfurls a tentacle to infect the lawyer as well.

We now cut to a scene of one of my favorite X-Men hideouts...the old Reaver base of operations in the Australian outback.

On a mesa in the distance sits Gateway and his bull-roarer. I always liked Gateway, and the idea of the silent, enigmatic teleporter. I wonder if he's still around in any capacity these days? I confess to not being up to date on my Marvel continuity, so he could be a full fledged member of the X-Men for all I know.

But on this day, he uses his powers to teleport Madelyne Pryor back to the outback. She was off doing some shopping, and returns to find the base deserted as the X-Men are all out on mission right now. Madelyne's husband, Cyclops, has left her and the team by this point, but she has stuck around with the X-Men to help assist them.

Relaxing in the base's computer room, she turns on a monitor to find an interview with Cyclops and Jean Gray as part of the newly formed X-Factor. So here, my x-timeline is getting a little shaky. From the dialogue, this is the first time that she has seen Scott in his capacity as leader of X-Force and that his first wife is back from the dead and by his side.

This book is from 1988 and I remember that X-Factor came out in 1986. So that's 2+ years of books where the X-Men were unaware that X-Factor existed? I know that they worked in secret for a while, but this surprised me.

Back to the story, Madelyne overreacts to the images on the screen and punches the monitor. The feedback causes a mini-explosion, which renders her unconscious (and so begins the road to Goblin Queen Madelyne Pryor).

Back in Dallas, Harry Palmer, the brood infected EMT, returns to his apartment after his shift. He is unaware that the Brood is making him infect other mutants, having just a vague feeling that something is not right.

He enters his apartment to find the X-Men, now recently reassembled as a complete team, waiting for him. Thanks to their previous encounter with the Brood, Wolverine was able to track Harry from the crash site in New Mexico to Denver. The X-Men are taken by surprise as Harry summons heretofore unknown strength and takes them down singlehandedly.

The X-Men recover to find that Harry has ditched them once again. Psylocke is concerned that they are chasing an innocent man, as she detected no mental impressions of the Brood within Harry's mind. Wolverine trusts his senses more than Psylocke's mutant powers and heads off to find him once again.

Aboard a bus, hoping to get as far away from the X-Men as possible, Harry is surprised to see Rogue turn around in the seat in front of him. Wolverine has obviously found him, and brought Rogue along for some extra muscle.

Once again, his Brood powers kick in giving him extra speed and strength. Rogue, apparently not learning from the experience just two pages ago, is caught off guard by his quickness. Harry's Brood tentacle emerges again, and just as he is about to infect Rogue he is yanked from the speeding bus by Wolverine.

Trapped in a dead-end alley, Wolverine approaches him to end the Brood threat once and for all. Rogue tries to quell Wolverine's berserk rage until Psylocke can try to learn more with her telepathy. It's all for naught, however, as she is soon interrupted by the arrival of the police, who order Wolverine and Rogue to stand down.

Wolverine lunges at the cops and takes them down in two quick panels. Rogue tries to hold him back, surprised that he would murder two cops in cold blood. The rest of the X-Men catch up, and it's revealed that the cops were actually Brood.

Trapped in the same dead-end alley, the X-Men are now surrounded by a horde of Brood descending from all angles. It appears they are back in full force to turn the X-Men into Brood as well.

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

My ennui towards the Brood has not lessened over the years. This was a rather dull story, compared to the high esteem with which I hold this run of books in my memory. I'm not a biggest "X-Men in space" fan, so seeing them go up against a generic alien race never really excited me too much.

Still, it was fun to see some old favorites back in action like I remember them. Even a boring X-Men book from the late 80's is better than what's been going on in the X-world post Morrison/Quitely.

I've always enjoyed the work that Marc Silvestri did on The Uncanny X-Men, even more so when he moved over to Wolverine. I've been hoping that the Randomizer would pick one of his Wolverine issues written by Larry Hama, as I remember enjoying the hell out of that run and am curious to see how it holds up.

This issue was also the downfall for Mohawk Storm, as she starts to grow her hair out and get a costume that looks more like her "all new, all different" debut. Oh well, nothing perfect lasts forever.