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Sunday, May 31, 2015

Mother of 2+1

Pejam celik dah 2 minggu ayah berkursus. Selama itu jugalah ibu take over urusan harian yang sebelum ni bawah jagaan ayah. Syukur kita tak hanya berempat, nenek dan atuk duduk sama di rumah tingkat 2 ni. Riuh. Resam cucu bertemu atuk nenek :)

Cabaran berbadan 2 kali ni lain sikit kisahnya. Alhamdulillah, alahan jauh lebih baik berbanding dulu. Ibu punya lebih masa untuk diri sendiri; Raudhah dan Umar dah pandai urus diri sendiri. Ibu hanya enterframe bila perlu. Sesekali terasa sebak dengan keadaan ini. Cepatnya anak-anak ibu membesar. Dulu semua perlukan bantuan ibu. Bila makin besar, makin berdikari. As much as I am proud to witness you growing wiser each day, I cannot help myself from being emotional; gradually you will no longer need me in every aspect of your life.. Apa pon, ibu tetap di sini, sentiasa sayang dan sedia membantu bila perlu.

5 dan 4, di usia ni mulut 2 beradik makin petah berbicara. Ni lah teman, ni lah lawan. Dan resam budak zaman sekarang, apa kita cakap mesti dia tanya balik kenapa. Heee kadang geram dibuatnya. Cabaran utama ibu sekarang ialah perlu banyakkkk sabar untuk manage kesayanganku RA.UF.

Jujurnya, mereka ni 'easy to please'; tak bebankan ibu dengan macam-macam tuntutan. Alhamdulillah. So ibu, relax will you? You can do this, really. Sabar used to be your middle name. And it should still be :) Dengan orang lain boleh sabar, tiada alasan bila involve anak sendiri.

Insya Allah...

Note: Week 19

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

P4.W16

"Umar nak adik tak?.."
"Nak. Umar nak baby boy and baby girl..."

Tersenyum ibu bila abang Umar cakap macam tu. Umurnya bakal masuk 4 tahun Oktober ni. Obviously, he is ready to become a big brother. Siap request nak 2 baby tu. Mesti sebab si kembar comel Arya dan Ayra - the only 2 pupu pangkat adik pujaan Umar.

Time flies. 4 years, really?
Honeymoon betul ibu dengan ayah kan :)
Alhamdulillah since ayah pindah KL hujung Disember 2013, we had the opportunity to catch up and live together as a family. Moreover when we moved to Kem Kementah - finally I got to experience the true meaning of work-life-balance.
The kids are enjoying it too; they dont have to wake up too early in the morning for school, have breakfast at home before school and have more time to annoy ibu and ayah ;)
Alhamdulillah, tak ternilai nikmat berkeluarga di bawah satu bumbung..Kini ibu dapat jalankan tanggungjawab sebenar seorang isteri dan ibu. Doa ibu, semoga kita dapat terus begini, insya Allah...

Genap 1 tahun selepas kisah hitam ectopic pregnancy, hati terbuka untuk punya anak kecil lagi. Mixed feelings; excited, risau, positif, negatif, bercampur-campur. Persoalan utama, boleh ke mengandung lagi ni? Sedikit inferior sebab dah buang sebelah tiup. Maknanya, peluang hamil turun 50%. Bertanya juga pada doktor dan teman sekeliling; masing-masing beri harapan - ada peluang. Ibu pon usaha, berurut untuk overhaul badan terutama bahagian peranakan. Alhamdulillah,lepas 3 bulan usaha, kami terima berita gembira. Pregnacy keempat kini sudah masuk minggu ke 16.

Setiap pengalaman pregnancy ibu pasti bersulam perit jerih morning sickness. Lemah lutut kalau dikenang. Tapi itulah, tak senang nak jadi ibu. Fikir yang baik-baik sajalah, percaya yang Allah suka dan sentiasa bersama orang yang sabar. Pregnancy kali ni pon ada fasa pening mualnya. Tapi, sangat kurang berbanding sebelumnya. Ibu aktif di pejabat, pening mual mula sejurus jejak kaki di rumah. Pulakkk hehe. Bukan dibuat-buat tau. Lama juga dapur tak berasap. Mujur suami dan anak-anak faham..

Semoga urusan pregnancy kali ini lancar dan selamat semuanya.. insya Allah. Doakan saya ye :)

Nota: Berat badan dah naik 10kg

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Update

Assalamualaikum...
It has been a while since the last entry. Life has been very busy and exciting.

Welcome Home
Alhamdulillah, all 4 of us are now reunited under the same roof; husband had just transferred to KL end November 2013. So we had new routines, adjusting ourselves for being together again after 11 months seperated by distance. Syukur.

Umar & School
Daily journey to KL is now merrier as we enrolled Umar to Taska Raniya beginning 02.12.2013. So both kids are stationed in KL while ibu and ayah deal with office work. Complete; all 4 occupying the limited space in our beloved Satria. And we do not have to rush to go back feeling guilty of late pickups the way we felt when Umar was with his babysitter. The kids seem happier with the new life. They long for ayah's presence; the attention, love and laughter. Alhamdulillah. I personally, is sick of distance marriage. May we have options to consider in yhe future in shaa Allah.

Mini Concert
Last Friday, Taska Raniya held its annual Concert & Graduation Day. A short and sweet event organised at the school itself. I was so excited. Despite my swallon face due to surgery to take out my bottom right side wisdom tooth, I did came early to secure the best spot to capture the moment. Raudhah was involved in the Mandarin choir while Umar in fashion show!

I felt so proud of the kids' achievement. The opening doa recited by a 5 year old boy impressed me to bits. I cried! Haha touching betul dan jujurnya, rasa bangga. Credit to tge dedicated and loving teachers. Well done!

Raudhah did her performance well. I am proud that she managed to do it in front of the crowd. I am proud of Umar too. Although he stood still at the stage, he did not cry. Well done boy! For a new comer (less than 10 days) you did very well. But I cought him crying in the prep room so I couldnot help it but to bring him with me, enjoying the rest of the show.

Hope you will learn more and have loads of fun at the school, kids! :)

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Change

Assalamualaikum. Salam Maal Hijrah.

I had a refreshing 5 days off from work. Lama tak rasa cuti yang aman macam ni. Part of it was contributed by the successful management meeting conducted on Thursday, 31.10.2013. Alhamdulillah...

Spent quality time with husband and the kids. Managed to clean up the floor of the entire house. *satisfied*

Dan semalam terlebih rajin. Bawa turun langsir ruang tamu utama, dan 3 single panel tingkat atas...BASUH. Belek punya belek ring eyelet langsir ruang tamu dah reput. Haaaa sudah. Terpaksalah keluar cari langsir baru (yekeeeeee)! Petang semalam angkut anak-anak dan adik bongsu ke AEON Anggun Rawang.

Cut story short, hasil seperti gambar. Pilih warna plain grey. Hmm ok ke? Am so used to the old curtain design. Need time to adapt to the new look. Simplest, plain dan nampak ruang makin luas. Thinking of getting wall frame to fill the wide space, to bring up the surrounding. Have to love it no matter what. Tak kuasa nak beli langsir lagi buat masa ni hehe.

Oklah kot? :)

Langsir lama ingat nak ganti eyelet ring. Masih elok kainnya.

Until then, Have a great day!

Saturday, November 02, 2013

Disney Live! Mickey's Magic Show

Had so much fun watching the show. Brings out the child in me. Gosh! In fact I still enjoy watching Disney's cartoons; Beauty & The Beast, Cinderella, Aladdin to name a few. I am so glad that my daughter loves them too. We 'connect' to the show so much compared to the boys; ayah & Umar. Hehe Umar even slept in the event hall! Haha so much for the birthday treat.

It was like a mini reunion too. I met my cousin Frida with her husband and eldest daughter Inara, and friends with their family members. How exciting!

Not regret for every single penny spent. Honestly, I need some Disney treat myself haha. I want Disney on ice next pleaseeee

P/s: pictures during the show were ciplak fro.m counsin's FB

Feeling satisfied

Same old spot, same old space and yet still the best therapy for an old school mom like me.

The shining floor will not last for long, I know. But the effort of cleaning and make it shine simply brings the satisfaction hence the big smiling face of Ms Jaja.

Call me sick but yeah, I feel great when I managed to clean up my territory.

So what makes you happy?

Monday, September 30, 2013

Toys R...

pain in the as* when they are not well organized! It took me almost 2 hours to sort out the 'treasure' built within these 3 years and 7 months of motherhood! These are just what being stored in the guest room. There are quite a number in the living area and 3 rooms upstairs waiting for right time (which I do not know when) for justice; whether they will be joining this batch or off to the
dusbin...

From now on, I will only buy books for the duo. Eh but Umar's birthday is just around the corner!?#$ Hah, whatever ibu. Gasaklah situ, another addition to the routine chores o_0

P/s: Ni hormon tak stabil ke normal? Sambung heret plastik hitam sana sini. Agak-agak semak, kutip masuk plastik!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Special September

A note of my personal experience, for my future reference.

Please do not share this openly, in FB especially.

It has been 9 days post operation on 20th September 2013. I have never imagined myself going through a surgery; what more related to pregnancy - ectopic pregnancy. Alhamdulillah, I am recovering well and look forward to resume work earlier than my 2 weeks MC.

I still remember the moment when I found out about the pregnancy. I had a bad sickness a day before, on 11th September 2013. Felt dizzy all day and vomitted 8 times that day which lead to an MC leave the next day. Still, a day rest did not help to drive the dizziness away. I felt strange about the signals. So I took the UPT that night, 12th September 2013...and it was positive. I cried. I could not believe it at that moment. I called the husband to break the news anyway. And we somehow came into a conclusion that this is a blessing and began to feel happy about it. Being the third pregnancy in my 3 years and 6 months journey of motherhood, I knew that the first thing I must do is to confirm the pregnancy status.

13th September 2013. I went to the medical centre first thing in the morning. It was Friday. And yes, the urine test result from the lab confirmed positive. But one major situation bothers me. I had an IUCD in my uterus! By all means the fact that I was pregnant regardless is all His blessing. But now, what should I do about it? And to add the worry, I started to experience spotting that day, which I had never experienced during my previous 2 pregnancies. I was distracted, big time. Thought of arranging a quick appointment with my gynae that day but her schedule was tight as always. I was adviced to meet her during the 9th week of pregnancy and not to remove the IUCD. Boy, I was not satisfied with the proposals - more reason for me to feel so as they were not coming from an expert anyway!

The proposals got into me really bad. I was confused and the spotting was heavier by the day. I became emotional and I refused to get out from the bed the next morning. (I even contacted a friend through Facebook for second opinion (she is a doctor - thanks Ehan), a-pregnant-with-IUCD friend from uni days and an 1-fallopian-lady survivor for a clearer insights. Alhamdulillah people around me were helpful and resourceful. They were among the contributors to my next actions of this episode.) Gave myself couples of hours before I decided to move on and have a great weekend with my loved ones. We went to Malacca to visit the husband - the kids, my parents, sister and I rocked the road. Part of the emotions turned positive just by seeing the husband face to face. I knew I had to be strong and deep down inside I felt that this pregnancy was different :(

15th September 2013. Although from my readings, there are cases that IUCD was left in the uterus until labor and with close monitoring, I made up my mind that I wanted to get rid of the copper in my body system. I did not buy the idea of further complications that might occur along the way. But the procedure was a tragic. As I did not expect that someone is coming near my labor-area for atleast 4 years! It was horrible! I guess I was not ready for another pregnancy experience what more of getting a faulty-copper (faulty because I managed to get pregnant haha) out of my uterus. There was no pain, I was just not mentally prepared to face the situation, alone :( Once again I cried on my way home and mentioned that I will never agree to another IUCD to the husband. Hehe see what the hormones turned me to? Drama-queen.

17th September 2013. I went to the medical centre again. This time I already experienced bleeding :( Dr Ferial adviced me to see other lady gynae, someone who can attend to my situation. I agreed with her. But I chose to stick to PCMC, at least I am familiar to the procedures and the environment/ambiance factor.

18th September 2013. I was the ugliest person at PCMC. Haha I rushed myself to the Emergency Department that morning. The bleeding continued to worry me. So doctor called for Beta HCG blood test. And I was referred to Dr Tan Ay Eeng, a sweet Chinese lady gynae. Blood test result was ready after 2 hours and I got to meet her at 11.30am. The blood test was positive. But doctor did not manage to locate the sac; not through ultrasound, and not through vaginal scan. From that day the idea of ectopic pregnancy haunted me, until the next follow up appointment on 20th September 2013 at 12.00 noon.

20th September 2013. Today the husband and daughter accompanied me during the appointment. The blood test result today still showed that I am pregnant. However, through ultrasound doctor found a sac at my left fallopian. It has already swollen. So my worry was valid. Doctor called for a surgery to remove my 5 weeks old pregnancy at 5.30pm that day. Doctor refused to take any risk and I was not allowed to leave the hospital. All happened really fast. I was thankful - imagine what could have happen if I waited until week 9? Would I make it to week 9 at the first place? Further development of an ectopic could lead to rupture which then brings pain to another level and also different procedures... Of course I cried (again) when the doctor told me about the news. I just did not know what to expect; scared of the possibilities for it to end up at the unfavourable route Nauzubillah. But then again, I considered myself blessed for not having to endure the pain of a rupture. The ectopic pregnancy was discovered at an early stage - with His blessing, we managed to escape the painful part. Alhamdulillah...

If you are wondering what type of procedures that I gone through, it is called salpingectomy via a technique call laparascopy (to remove the sac and the effected fallopian) and dilation & curretage (D&C) to clear the blood lining in the uterus which is where the embrio should build up and eventually become the precious baby. You can read more about the procedure here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/index.php/patients/treatment/surgical-treatment/
Obviously, I am still 'busy' coping with my emotion and far then ready to attend to questions, I am sorry...

Now to touch a bit on contraception. I would advice you to consult your gynae before you commit to any of the methods. Consider the pros and cons - different people got different experience, really. So mine is one of the '6 in 1000' cases reported for copper IUCD. I had it in December 2011 and got pregnant in September 2013 - I considered it as an achievement. I do not blame anyone for the decision I made back then. The grass was just not 'green' enough in my case. After this experience, I opt to go for natural plan. Although I loss one of my fallopian tube, I must not lost track of the blessings I have around me :) Alhamdulillah...

Just another adventure of my motherhood journey. May the experience makes me a better mother and wife to my kids and husband. ZI, RAZ & UFZ... I love all of you so much and I hope you feel it too :') And I could not thank my parents and sister enough for being the strong support system of my life!, my parents in law for their blessing, family and friends for the visit, doa and warm wishes through Facebook and Whatsapp. I was admitted for only one night but the number of visitors were just overwhelming. Thanks BFF Fatin & family, for accompanying me and the husband to the operation theatre - I miss darling baby Irfan already. Shasha & Zura for the visit and delicious LeVain breads. Shaz brought along her adorable kids and bibik, chocolates for me and balloons for my kids. And Kak Mila & officemates for the flower baskets & fruits. Thank you, thank you...

Alhamdulillah, segala puji buatMu Ya Allah :')

P/s: The lesson learned;

1) You have the right to know about your health condition.
2) Do not feel comfortable accepting thoughts from just anybody until you hear it from the specialist.
3) Seek for 2nd opinion if necessary.
4) If you did not manage to meet the 'usual' specialist, find other specialist that can attend to your condition there and then. Do not just wait and do nothing.