*Linzerellos Blog

So after another particularly hectic week Chez Linz (several social occasions and a work trip to Amsterdam), I'm still ploughing on with the gym and healthier eating. Since I last blogged, I've done several more exercise classes, each one resulting in far more pain than is normal. I am such a calamity, it's a wonder I've not done myself some serious damage already.

Insanity again last Wednesday - slightly less horrific than the first one, but a killer none the less. I was already sporting a bruise the size of a banana on my thigh thanks to a run in with the spinning bike, but after insanity, my legs pretty much gave up on me sand I had to get down 2 flights of stairs with straight legs. That's not easy, I can assure you.

Friday morning I did a kettle bell session and got very cocky with the amount of weight I was swinging around (12Kg) which resulted in my lower back deciding to give up on me for most of the weekend. I honestly thought I might need a wheelchair at one point, I couldn't stand for more than a couple of minutes and sitting down was equally painful. This was excellent given we'd traveled up the Midlands to watch the husbands beloved West Brom in action. I'd dosed up on ibuprofen and purchased some stick on heat patches to ease my pain. All very well and good if the heat patches had stayed in place and didn't keep falling off looking very much like sanitary towels as they landed on the floor next to me. Embarrassing.

With the agony of my back very much in mind, it was with trepidation that I attended Spinning on Monday morning. It hurt like hell but did work wonders on loosening up my back. It didn't work such wonders for my coccyx however. At one point my saddle tilted backwards and as I scrabbled around to remain seated, I very forcefully hit my bottom on something metallic and lets just say, it now feels like a very horny elephant has had it's way with me. Ouch indeed.

So onto last night when I did a resistance band session. Who knew that an oversized elastic band could inflict so much pain? Today it is the turn of my arms. I cannot even lift up my cuppa this morning and washing my hair this morning was nigh on impossible.

What on earth am I doing to myself?

Anyway, despite a couple of very boozy days (Friday and Saturday) the scales showed another 5lb loss. That's 12lbs in 2 weeks. Clearly this is not sustainable and probably not even real, but it's spurring me on to continue with the torture of exercise for now.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've signed up for a programme at my local gym in an attempt to get fit before I turn 40 (8 months and counting, gulp). We had our first meeting on Tuesday to go over the programme and what it would
 entail and I left feeling very enthusiastic about it all.

Our first exercise class was Wednesday night, I was assured I could ease in gently having done no exercise of any worth for about 2 years so I wasn't too worried about it.... Oh how wrong I was. One word. Insanity. Has anyone ever tried this? If not, I don't suggest you do unless you're currently in training for the next Olympics. Oh my days. We did a 30 minute class, of which I managed probably 20 minutes tops. I thought I was going to be sick (thankfully there was a bin strategically placed next to me) and at one point, I got down to do a press up and my legs point blank refused to get me back up again. Cue me lying on the floor in a distressed heap.

Needless to say, Thursday and Friday were fun in that any form of movement was an impossibility. I'd forgotten how painful muscles can be when you use them...

On Friday afternoon we headed over to Suffolk to visit one of my besties for her 40th birthday, much booze and food followed so my first week attempting to be good was someone foiled, but I realise this is life and I cannot be swayed by a few bad meals. A lovely weekend was had and that is the most important thing of all.

So, the 2nd class of my 'programme' was at 0615 this morning. What sort of God awful time is that to be out of bed on a Monday? As if I didn't hate Monday's enough. Spinning today - I used to be an avid spinner, back in the day, so again I wasn't overly concerned. Again I was naive. How painful are bike saddles?? You'd think with my excessive ass cushioning, I'd find it relatively comfy, heck no! I can think of several ways to describe the pain in my under carriage right now, none of which I should probably publish, needless to say, I feel bruised in places I didn't know existed. My legs are also protesting some what. I am struggling to get on and off the toilet which is a tad embarrassing. Still, it can only get better, right?

My 'clean' eating hasn't been completely on point, but I'm definitely doing a lot better. I've not managed to (and I don't intend to yet) eliminate gluten from my diet and the odd Diet Coke is still creeping in (Aspartame is the work of the devil by all accounts) but it's definitely better. I was rewarded with a 7lb drop this morning but I suspect that is a false reading given I got weighed when I'd just got back from holiday and bloat was in full flow...

Anyway, Insanity again on Wednesday and a PT session on Friday. God help me and my nethers.

It has been forever, life has just totally gotten in the way of late. Work has been super busy, I have been away lots and needless to say, my weight has not been a priority in the slightest.

Since I last posted, I've spent time in the US and Canada for both holiday and work, spent time with friends in various parts of the UK (Liverpool, Hull, Gleneagles, London) and had a weekend with my family for my parents 40th wedding anniversary in the Lake District. Healthy eating has always been in my mind, but clearly not enough for me to stick to any kind of plan.

However, I am back from a week in Tenerife, feeling like the porkiest of porkers after too many crisps and a lot of Cider. I was so uncomfortable on the plane that I decided it was time for action. My weight has never bothered me massively, but feeling unhealthy has and that's where I am right now.

So as of today, Slimming World has restarted (I've put 1.5 stone of the 2.5 stone I previously lost back on, go me.... ) and I have signed up for a health programme at my local gym. 3 classes a week plus various seminars on nutrition, decluttering, osteopathy etc. Let's see how that goes given I've done zero exercise for approximately 3 years.

I won't ramble on any longer but I am going to try and get back into the habit of blogging more regularly in an attempt to keep me on the straight and narrow. I'll leave you with some photos of the past few months instead of attempting to describe all of my escapades.