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Showing posts with label HIGH SCHOOL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HIGH SCHOOL. Show all posts

Thursday, September 20, 2012

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? The Music of NFL Films!

OHHHHH YEAH IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON, Y'ALL. GRAB SOME COLD CANS AND CRUSH EM' DOWN YOUR FUCKIN' THROAT. ARE YOU READY TO WATCH THE BOYS THROW SOME PIGSKIN?


Here at IllCon we aren't really into the "sports" world even though senior editor Shelby Cobras is commonly seen around the office wearing various metal branded basketball shorts.


The metal world has long been connected to the gridiron. The Oakland Raiders famously use AC/DC's "Hells Bells" when entering the field. The Kansas City Chiefs like to come out to Motley Crue's "Kickstart My Heart." As obscure as those songs are, my very favorite football themed song comes from the late Layne Staley's pre-Alice In Chains project aptly titled "Alice N' Chains" (formerly Sleeze). Their love letter to the game is one of the best slap-bass GnR ripoff songs of all time. Check out these lyrics:

(Yup. This is a real thing.)

Something that we ARE actively interested in are hard-to-find soundtracks. That's why I was stoked to come across this amazing gem of a collection - Autumn Thunder: 40 years of NFL Films Music. A 10 disc compilation highlighting the kick ass compositions that accompanied the overly dramatic and amazingly photographed NFL Films productions of the 1970s. This shit fucking rules. I couldn't find the whole thing and I doubt that any IllCon reader would download everything anyway. Here now are discs 5-9. It's PLENTY to hold you over until someone gets you the whole set for Hanukkah. Most of the set highlights the work of Sam Spence. Spence was a former music professor at USC, who while in Munich in 1966, was asked to score some highlight reels for the NFL. His work has since become iconic and his music just as much as part of American culture as the game itself. According to his wiki: "...he can arguably be credited with a significant role in making American football the top professional sport in the U.S." No lie. This dude rules. Also featured here are the songs of David Robidoux, Tom Hedden and William Soden.



BTW we like the Redskins here because they are the most racist team.

Friday, June 1, 2012

When drawing goes wrong pt2.

I am going to put it out there and say that it was pretty sweet seeing the level of response to the previous bad artwork post. Then the remedial prison, rehabilitation art ball rolled into the MS Paint album covers post, which we all agree was beyond awesome. To quote the head honcho, " we have the best goddamn motherfucking readers on the entire Internet, you guys rule."
On that slushy note, here is another selection of some of my favourite "bad art" album covers. Once again. Despite a complete lack of art skill and in some cases complete lack of human anatomy, I do hold a certain level of respect for these awesome images.



Pretty obvious what these guys think about all the time isn't it? I can wager it isn't being in a band.


God bless the Scorpions for consistently proving themselves to be guitar wielding numb skulls of the highest order. I have a slight bit of respect for the German chumps over the fact that when it comes to making some sort of statement, The Scorpions are always going to express it at a unbelievably low level of both class and awareness. With Animal Magnetism they surpassed themselves and wouldn't manage to beat it until 1996 when they hit us with this guy.....


See what I mean, deep stuff.


Future barbarian, biker, outlaw judge? Who knows but Battle Axe. They charged into the art the same way they approach they're sweet metal jams. With more enthusiasm than skill.


I really dig this one. Its just an awesome image. Plain and simple. Of course maybe the artist wasn't exactly up to the job but I am letting it slide.


It was mentioned last time so here it is. I never thought I would say this but Metal Magic really was a step up for these guys after Projects In The Jungle.


Karisma with a "K". Pretty sure that's a rabid walrus either escaping from some kind of imprisonment or just hanging out. Awesome.


Yes, that is a skull faced nudist raising a severed penis above its head atop a volcano. Thanks for noticing.


Everyones favourite NWOBHM never was's prove that you shouldn't fear evil. Fear death and badly drawn skulls instead.


Some evil, Christ baiting black metal? No? Oh sorry my mistake. You look like your having far to much fun at camp to be actual black metallers. She most certainly is having far to much fun streaking for Satan.


You shouldn't really expect too much when diving into the putrid trough of goregrind/pornogrind nonsense, its meant to be offensive. But this certainly plumbs some stinky depths.


Another one mentioned last time and its a cracker. Really what can you say about this? 
Once again, Any of you guys want to throw some more into the ring? We are open to suggestions for any you can think of to top these.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

COIN-OP MEMORIES PART 2

Back for more. Part 1 ( I'm not going to link it as you would miss the sweet Herpes post below ) whet your appetite about some classic arcade gaming. Well I have carried on my trawl through the arcade classics I remember and picked out more of my favourites that are worthy of a go still to this day. Lets get down to it.

Bad Dudes Vs. DragonNinja (1988)


One of those games that every arcade had, also one of those games that everyone had at home as it was ported to nearly every home computer going. Despite being easier on the home versions it still gave you a little more edge over the competition when it came down to playing it in public.
The game had you attempting to rescue President Ronny ( Reagan ) from the DragonNinja. You constantly get asked if your a bad enough dude to take on the job despite your character proclaiming he's "bad" after every stage. They ain't even satisfied when you beat the shit out of waves and waves of enemy ninjas, dogs, ladies in bondage gear and various boss characters.



Once you manage to defeat the the evil DragonNinja, you get this pretty sweet ending......



Lucky & Wild (1992)


This was the coolest game when I was a kid. For those of us that grew up watching Lethal Weapon, Starsky & Hutch and Tango & Cash, this was the only way to live out those fantasies. It wasn't a very popular machine due to the size it required, but you had hit gold if any amusement had it. First off, check the machine......


That's right! Driving as well as shooting! With two guns! It might be a common thing these days but back in the late 80's/early 90's, only Chase HQ had the police chase, shooting and driving angle really nailed. Lucky & Wild allowed you and a buddy to be cops chasing down and shooting the shit out of everything on screen.
Check the video.............

Mute the sound as its pretty annoying listening to some bozo talking through it.


Pretty sweet looking eh? The attraction of it was the absolute chaos it seemed to involve. You drove through malls and restaurants while blasting bad guys apart! At its heart it was a standard rail shooter, to my young mind it was the nearest I would ever get to being involved in high speed shoot-outs.
Hot bitches 


Plus sweet chase music

I am pretty sure this is the king of my mispent, childhood, arcade loitering.

Vendetta (1991)



At one point in time, any urban set, revenge themed beat em up wouldn't have been taken seriously if it didn't have the title screen set on a graffiti strewn brick wall. That was a cast iron certificate that you would see fist/face interface action. Vendetta was a sort of sequel to the Double Dragon rip off Crime Fighters, it was a pretty standard rescue-your-girl-from-nasty-dudes. Now, lots of games dealt with this theme, Vendetta changed it up with the chance to have 3 of your friends back you up. Allowing you to throw each other into enemies and such.


Vendetta added a ton more violence than Final Fight or Double Dragon had, this was what had me coming back. You could hold enemies down and wail on their torso, smash barrels over heads, kick down scaffolding, smash sacks of cement around their faces, tons of pretty rough stuff. Get your hands on a baseball bat with nails or a chain and you could carve your way through the enemies.


Hot bitches and fire.


Your gang is called Cobras.


Rogues gallery.

Did I also mention the pretty bitchin' soundtrack courtesy of Castlevania composer Michiru Yamane? You bet I did.


Personally, these where my favourites. I always had a few more that I played pretty regular like Captain Commando, Knights of The Round, Narc, Vigilante and some others. Anyone want to throw their own favourites in?

Monday, January 30, 2012

COIN-OP MEMORIES PART 1

If my parents had a list of things I shouldn't have spent my hard earned paper round money on then arcade games where public enemy number one when I was a child. Even more so than comics and records! I could happily piss away a whole weeks wage ( back then, that was a lot) inside of an hour at any number of amusement arcades dotted around my home town. I have always believed the appeal was the fact that you believed you would never see these games on your home computer, couple that with the amount of violence and the prison-art-therapy artwork adorning most of the machines casings and you had a sure thing when it came to relieving young people of money.
I recently spent a bit of time messing around with a MAME emulator and revisiting some of these games. Suffice to say, it becomes obvious you were not designed to complete most on a single credit. A few have held up pretty well while others still hold a small corner of my memory hostage. Following my research, these are my sure fire, revisit, classic arcade cash devourers.

Cadillacs & Dinosaurs (1992)


Cadillacs & Dinosaurs not only combined all manner of awesome things ( dinosaurs, cool cars, guns, post-apocalyptic story and girls) to appeal to a young man, but it also managed to keep me going back time after time. Despite being Mark Schultz's Xenozoic Tales bolted to the Final Fight game system, Cadillacs & Dinosaurs held my attention for years. You had guns! Final Fight didn't have those. You could kick the shit out of dinosaurs! Final Fight couldn't do that.


That's what you think dick neck.


The story had you fighting off poachers, mutants, bikers and various nasty types from messing with the balance of nature. That didn't really matter to me. The clincher was halfway through the first stage, being able to blast someone out of a window with a shotgun before punching a Rock Hopper (Raptor. None of the dinosaurs go by their real names) in the face outside in an alley! Throw in being able to smash through bikers and barrels in a car and I was sold. My pockets rapidly emptied.






Ignore the System of A Down tune at the beginning, Some people have a nerve.


A.B. Cop (1990)


AB Cop was the easiest of my childhood arcade adventures. Being as I once managed to complete it on a single credit, sadly there was no one to witness my amazing skill on that fateful day in a derelict amusement arcade in Blackpool. AB ( Air bike, air biscuit) Cop took the Hang On template of third person, full immersion racing ( you had a bike to lean left and right on, or if your arcade was cheap they just had the cabinet with handle bars ) and added enemies to battle. The levels all took the same route, ram various nasty biker types before confronting the boss. You then had to use your turbo charge to jump and smash him off the road to complete the level and get a satisfying thumbs up from your rider.


The main appeal of AB Cop was the difficulty scale. It was so easy to have a single credit and get through about 3 levels before you had to dive into your pocket for a follow up go. Once you worked out the main tactic for dealing with every boss ( jump, turbo charge. steer left/right, repeat) you could rampage through the whole game on a single credit. Of course the appeal of showing off to all and sundry in the arcade by reaching the completion screen of any game was impossible to ignore. No matter how easy said game was.





BEAST BUSTERS (1989)




Long before you could take cover with a fancy foot pedal in Time Crisis and such games, rail shooters gave you a big machine gun and threw waves of enemies at you. Beast Busters ( from the ever reliable SNK stable) was always the game I saw in arcades but never managed to actually play as they always seemed to place Operation Wolf or Rambo 3 in my way as a distraction. Luckily, I found a flea pit on a family outing that only had assorted pinball tables, Asteroids and Beast Busters. No contest really, sorry Asteroids.




The wafer thin plot had you as gun nuts trying to escape a zombie infested city. Gun toting zombies at that. Pretty ahead of its time stuff? The gore was a major factor in how cool I thought this game was. Enemies exploded in blood and bone pieces, green slime was everywhere, they had zombie bikers, Jason like hockey masked monsters and then along came the absurd bosses! A driverless Jeep that shoots missiles before coming alive! A typical 80's street punk that transforms into a massive dog! A floating eye made of bodies! Next level shit for any kid. Even the soundtrack was sweet.





It had 3 f**king guns!


Party Bus


Thanks to the wonders of MAME technology you can enjoy all these titles from the comfort of your own home. You don't have to worry about all those dodgy, blatantly criminal looking dudes that used to hang around arcades, you don't have to worry about putting your hand in the never clean ashtray that adorned pretty much every machine and you don't have to worry about any bigger boys coming along and shoving you over while you where playing. The world of arcade gaming is far less dangerous these days.

P.S. If anyone can help to hook me up with any of the soundtracks to these games or other arcade classics then that would be sweet.

Part 2 to follow.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Suppression/Grief - Split EP (1995)

Growing up in a relatively small, somewhat culturally isolated city tucked away in the recesses of the Blue Ridge Mountains, punk rock came as a fucking godsend. I'll spare the whole getting-into-the-music story that's been done to death, but suffice to say it made an impression. However, while it tapped into a lot of feelings I had previously no understanding of how to articulate, most of what I could find out about the music in those days before the internet was the ubiquitous force it is today seemed to indicate that it had ended around the time Sid Vicious died, or in the case of hardcore, around the time the Bad Brains broke up the first time around and all the New York bands went metal. Coverage was scanty, so I took what I could get. I discovered Heartattack and more contemporary bands – His Hero Is Gone, Gehenna, Rorschach, etc. - not long afterwards, but it still seemed like something that happened a million miles away.

But I would search out what I could, often spending my limited early teenage income on whatever records looked cool. Not a great formula for finding killer music, but in one notable case it provided more than a little blowing of the ol' mind. It was such a small thing, something that would've been so easy to overlook, a split 7” with a flimsy green cover with some photos of dudes playing and destroying instruments on one side and some shit on the other that looked like it could've come from some high school stoner's art project. And it was a dollar. So I took my chances.

And one side was good. A band from Massachusetts called Grief. I'd heard some slower heavy music before – Melvins, Sabbath, etc. - but Grief took it all and injected some serious psychotic depressing vibes to it. I enjoyed it (if “enjoy” is the right word for something so nihilistic), gave it a few listens and flipped it over. The other band, Suppression, simply fucking destroyed. I'd heard some grindy shit before, had my mind similarly blown by Napalm Death not much earlier, but Suppression was next level. It was a feral blur, sheets of sound draped over blastbeats with harsh noise textures clawing their way through.


I didn't really know much about this sort of thing. I had no real exposure to noise beyond my dad's Sun Ra albums. I had no idea that there was this genre of lurching start/stop noise called power violence and that Suppression was one of the most vicious yet interesting examples of the style. And until finding that record, I had no idea that they (or anybody with ideas so extreme) were operating in the same small, punk rock-deprived city that I lived in. And that was the other facet to how mind-blowing Suppression was. Their music was – and remains – fucking killer. But that such a band could pop up in the same boring, backwater town in which I felt so isolated was an amazing feeling. It brought the world closer to home and provided an example of how great things can be made out of mediocre surroundings.


I managed to get most of Suppression's releases over the years and the majority of it is spectacular. It's like if Man Is The Bastard kept the noise parts, but instead of wandering off into the more technical instrumental parts, they opted for the blunt ferocity of Crossed Out or No Comment. Even after power violence turned into a higher-profile subgenre in recent years, with hordes of shitty youth crew bands throwing in a few blast beats and thinking that turns them into the next Infest, Suppression's music remains as bracing and compelling as when it was released.


During the late '90s, the band moved more into noise/ power electronics material and for several years their only performances and releases saw the band indulging their most dissonant impulses. It was interesting to watch – I recall one show where the band attached amplified contact microphones to bibles and beat them to shreds with dildos – but not always easy to sit down and listen to. In more recent years, the band has operated as a bass-and-drums duo, working in a vein that's somewhere between Ruins and early Butthole Surfers – frantic, obnoxious (in a good way) noise rock (sample song title: "Well Hung Toddler") that surprisingly doesn't stand in too stark contrast when the band breaks out some of their old power violence material, as they've thankfully been doing recently.


Bassist/singer Jason Hodges (the only consistent member of Suppression) runs an excellent label called CNP Records, which put out a compilation of all the Suppression material from their early years that's definitely well worth picking up. But as a bit of a taste of the mayhem inside, the band's split with Grief, the sort of new lenses that helped my younger self view the world differently, can be acquired below.

--

When caged like animals, we will act accordingly.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Important Announcement for the New Year

After a decade of bitter infighting and rancour between two ideologically polarized camps within ICHQ, I am delighted to announce the grand opening of IllCon East, a new subdivision of IC Enterprises which is charged with ensuring East Coast considerations are factored into decision-making around marketing, product development, and systems change. This venture comes on the coattails of a debate that has been percolating beneath the surface of everyday business and has made working alongside one another no longer possible. I now present to you IllCon East's mission statement:

FUCK YOU, WEST COAST
Allow me to explain...

Here on the East Coast, being metal is a fucking chore. You have to work at it. If you're a metalhead and come from anywhere East of Sanford Parker's fiefdom, Ohio, you're already handicapped. You're fucked. You have to ship in all your bullet belts and patches from El Salvador. Out on the West Coast every other day Wormrot is playing in LA, fucking Brocas Helm is playing Gilman or whatever it's called, blah fucking blah.

2nd one from left is 9th grade me

I was just talking to These a Beast, who lives in Jersey, about what shows we'd been to recently and it was downright scornful. The only show either of has had been to in the last month was the same goddamn show, one night apart from each other. Granted, it was Inquisition, and they fucking killed, but still. West Coast's got the labels, the communal groundswell, the bands, the venues, AND legal kush. It's like the metal is being handed to you on a silver plate; all you need to do is MOSH.

And don't get me started on Black Metal. How do you have all these awesome goddamn black metal bands on the West Coast? What do YOU know about Black Metal? Any 'banger worth his Nargaroth back patch knows Black Metal is all about winter, midnight vision quests through frost-choked ravines, taking your shirt off, and takin' a pic for the album cover. What does the West Coast know about winter? Where I'm from we're living an Immortal album 30% of the entire year while your metal bands are playing flutes around the bonfire, fucking celebrating the harvest, and yukking it up over a sack of northern lights.

er, we're not all like this, promise

(Speaking of New Jersey, that's probably the most metal places on the planet ain't it? Fuck sylven forests of primordial hardwoods and awe-inspiring ocean vistas, forget Norway...New Fucking Jersey man. It's basically built on top of toxic sludge and car parts. Anyone who elects to live there voluntarily earns their spike cuffs automatically.)

is more metal than

The East Coast always seems to get left out of conversations about metal (New Yorker notwithstanding), perhaps due to regional metal xenophobia, perhaps ignorance, perhaps its the smaller profiles of the bands, maybe a combination of all this. We gave you NYDM, Dio, Grief...the nascent scuzz-BM scene (see Mutilation Rites) is giving the Black Twilight Circle a run for their money IMHO...hell we've got Florida so right there we've buttoned up 90% of the American Death Metal legacy.



ANDMANOWAR

i know u like my layout skills

Now, I'm not saying we're completely infallible. In fact, we owe you a couple of apologies: namely Liturgy, the whole Savannah/Atlanta thing (seriously, what the fuck is up with the whole Kylesa/Baroness/Mastodon scene? can someone fill me in plz thx). We MIGHT be single-handedly responsible for metalcore also, now that I think about it. Whoops lol. I hereby apologise for all our past transgressions.


So anyway, yeah, this:

WEST COAST
i detect your pose
all the way from here


EAST COAST
trve

I rest my case.

You are cordially invited to the ceremonial ribbon cutting of the brand-new, 230 acre IllCon East campus, featuring an exclusive Evoken and Cannibal Corpse showcase*, and we will vote on IllCon East's new charter. I hereby lay down the gauntlet, West Coast pussies. The metal world is overdue for a good beef with all the trimmings, don't you think? Infantile posturing in album intros, threats of violence via YouTube, all that. How great would that be? Minus the assassinations, Varg.

FUCK YOU, WEST COAST.
*not verified