Granted, I can't think of any good reason why I should get a knighthood but I see that as no reason why they shouldn't give me one.
After all, knights wear armour and, frankly, with my level of popularity, I could do with a suit of armour.
I could also do with a lance and a flying horse.
But, when I was a youth, there was an honours system that was even more exciting than that run by the UK government.
And that was the Marvel Rankings System. With it, dedicated readers could get a whole host of initials after their names, Ones that humbled the gongs one might get from any mere queen.
If the internet's to be believed, they were invented by Mark Evanier and are as follows:
- Real Fanatic One. A buyer of at least three Marvel mags a month.
- Titanic True Believer. A divinely-inspired No-Prize winner.
- Quite 'Nuff Sayer. A fortunate Frantic One who's had a letter printed.
- Keeper of the Flame. One who recruits a newcomer to Marvel's rollickin' ranks.
- Permanent Marvelite Maximus. Anyone possessing all four of the other titles.
- Fearless Front-Facer. An honorary title bestowed for devotion to Marvel above and beyond the call of duty.
Taking a look at them, the only one I seem to ever have qualified for at any point in my life is Real Fanatic One, as, in my day, I read a lot more than three Marvel mags a month. In fact, at my peak, I read more than that every week.
Hold on a minute! I used to read three Marvel comics a week and still the Queen won't give me a knighthood? Well, that's the last time I vote for her!
Anyway, such nightmare injustices aside, have you ever qualified for any of those other titles? And, if so, which ones and why?