where the hell are my pneumatic tubes this is not the future jules verne promised
i do not want ‘email’ i want little brass capsules that go “shwump”
To anyone who thinks this would be innefficient: I cannot tell you how much more I would get done if i got to put my finished documents in a shwump pill and feed it to The Tube instead of attaching it to an email.
I hope this pneumatic tube capsule finds you well.
replacing all of my “I hope this email finds you well”’s with pneumatic tube capsules that have mini cream pies on little spring loaded catapults so when someone sends me an annoying message i can shock them and insinuate that they are a clown at the same time.
Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.
As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.
But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.
The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.
Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?
First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.
Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.
With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!
Say whaaaat?
Well uhm
Look at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.
If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.
And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.
Still grasping for straws, Wright?
Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.
Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn.
Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all.
Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.
Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.
I’m sorry Edgeworth.
I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1
But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.
Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.
And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?
While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.
The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!
Ack.
(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)
Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!
Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!
… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?
Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.
Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!
Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?
D E AD
I will reblog this any time i see it on my dash
Absolutely fucking D E S T R O Y E D
This is the strongest Tumblr post I’ve ever witnessed.
This was recommended and as a super logical person I can see why
I swear I’ve reblogged this before but every time I see it I internally scream “THESE BOOKS ARE ON A HOLD SHELF” that’s why they have pieces of paper in them and are not shelved in alphabetical order (they’re shelved by who they’re on hold for). It’s also why the labels on the manga and the graphic novel are different (note how the one says “YA” and the other says “Teen”) - because they’re most likely from different library collections.
Suffice to say, this court case could have used a library employee as an expert witness and saved a lot of time.
since this came on the dash again, vi decided to waste several hours of vy day making an objection.lol of this
hey americans there is a recall on testosterone gel because they found benzene in it! please check the lot numbers on your batches, benzene is really not something you want to be rubbing into your skin, also you might be eligible for compensation because this is just insane what the fuck
Would you like to reblog to throw Roary’s toy for her?
She will bring it back and drop it at your feet, so you can throw it again if you like.
Have fun playing fetch! We hope you have a very good night 💜
Does she prefer certain objects to fetch?
She’s actually not my cat, I was visiting my mom, @mamaspark so perhaps she can answer. Roary comes BOLTING out to me when I visit because I play with her every time she asks, so I know she would love playing with others, but not particulars about her habits.
so im trying to decipher this chart on wikipedia that has common vampire weaknesses in it and
a ‘green/yes’ is a weakness, a ‘red/no’ is something that isnt a weakness, and a ‘?’ is something that has never been addressed but fucking riddle me this
in what lore are vampires weak to getting soggy in milk
i scrolled over to check to see what this could possibly be and
places a hand on me cheek
happy halloween month time for my favourite post of all time
