Because the best way to stop a bully is to train your eye on one. Hard.

You need to stop.

No, I mean, you really need to stop.

You’re goddamn right thinking is hard, but that doesn’t excuse you from ever having to do any.

You’re a bully, jhameia; you tried your damnedest once upon a time to bully me. But you forgot one teeny, tiny little detail: I’ve been bullied. I know what it looks like, I know what it feels like, and I know how to thwart it, because I know what drives a bully: Bullies need attention.

So no way in hell was I going to give it to you.

An apology, you wanted? Fair enough; an apology you deserved and an apology you received. But upon receipt of that apology–that is when you showed your true colors.

An apology may or may not satisfy someone who is hurt–that’s going to depend on the individuals involved–but an apology never satisfies a cowardly little bully looking for someone to beat on, and the first thing a cowardly little bully will do, once confronted with the unpleasant reality that demanding an apology and demanding unlimited attention are not the same things?–The fucking first thing a cowardly little bully like yourself will do is try to keep it going, and that’s exactly what you did.

(Oh GOD and then the part where you say the blog being called “Feminists with Disabilities” ought to clue people in that “the main focus of this site is NOT going to be race”–I had forgotten this and I was happier that way, frankly. But sure, no way those two things ever intersect! You are so truly, truly the last person on earth who ought to be appointing herself the Cosmic Righter of All Oppressive Wrongs, Jamie Goh. Your paint-by-numbers, follow-the-fucking-bingo-card, look-what-I-learned-in-class-today approach is pathetic and embarrassing.)

I took all the fun out of it for you, didn’t I?–Because I didn’t do a damn thing to help you keep it going. I blocked you and moved along.

That’s when you took your pissy little grievance over to Livejournal, dropped a link to my post there, and tried to get my attention that way. I appended a flippant remark to the post of mine you linked and continued to ignore you, because while bullies may need attention, they don’t need it from me.

The only reason you’re getting attention from me now is that I want you to know that I see you. I’m not the only one who sees you.

And you can keep doing what you’re doing and you can keep calling what you do “social justice.”

But to me you’re just a sad-ass little bully, and I want Mr. Garland Grey to know that someone else, someone who is emphatically not a fan of so much as one single word Sady Doyle has ever written thus far online IN HER LIFE, sees it.

And to anyone who wants to paint this as oh Ilyka, of course she did this, I mean, white people side with white people?–Be my guest. You go on ahead and knock your wee little brains out with that shit, you go right on ahead. Because I don’t know if you ever noticed something about me, but when it comes to what 95% of the online social justice community thinks these days? I just

don’t

give

a fuck.

I don’t give a fuck for your respect, your disdain, your opinions, your assessments, your values, your ethics (HA! Hahahaha), your precious precious words, or your shitty abusive behaviors.

But when it comes to a bully lecturing a rape survivor on how to manage his triggers, his reactions, his processes, his feelings, his life?–Yeah. I give all kinds of fucks about that, because I know if it becomes okay to do it to him, it becomes okay to do it to any of us, and no. No, it fucking isn’t okay.