Legend of the Roller Blade Seven

please, if you think this film might be art, have your sanity examined i saw this movie over five years ago and still have nightmares of its awfulness...

How do films like this get made? This is a terrible film. This 'film,' found at my local video store, had an extensive amount of dust on its case and was on the bottom shelf of the sci-fi section. There were very good reasons for this.

If you like the idea of porno women with the iq of Forrest Gump in leotards on rollerskates, this is the film for you. Obviously it has gratuitous nudity. What the hell else would you do with a film like this? I mean the director could have at least turned this into porn. This film would have been much more interesting then. Porno actresses on roller skates in the future. The premise is interesting and arousing. Rollerblade makes baywatch look like intellectual art.

It is not often I get a film and my flatmates jaws drop at the sheer awfulness of it. The effects are possibly the worst I have ever seen in a movie. Plan 9 looks like Lord of the Rings compared to this.

If you are like me and constantly search video stores for the worst amd most exploitative films that you can find, including porn. Then you should see this film just for that. Otherwise avoid this film at all costs. Or drink 2 dozen beers and throw it on, its guaranteed to cure insomnia. I actually fell asleep watching it despite my best efforts.

this movie just plain sucks. i was 12 when i watched it and back then i could handle almost any movie but i watched this for 25 minutes and just had to turn it off. the acting (and lack of it) was just terrible. it didnt even attempt to give you a clue of whats happening in the film. the action scenes were even worse. sometimes you never get sick of seeing a really good martial arts move but after you've seen one repeated several times consequetively it gets slightly frustrating. this is just one lame movie.

This film is dire. In fact, not even that is an accurate description of how bad this film is. How anyone survived it is beyond me. The acting is atrocious, the dialogue is meaningless, and the film makers have decided that some shots are so good that we have to see them several times over (especially the last ten minute repeated scene). Why, is a mystery as the shots aren't even any good.

If this film was sold as an introduction to how to make bad films, then all well and good, but even then it is dire. Even the name, The Rollerblade 7 (as sold in the UK) is meaningless as there are never 7 rollerbladers in one shot.

Avoid at all costs, because when I say that it is the worst film I have ever seen, I mean it, and I have seen a few!

I saw the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life over the weekend.

I know people use "worst ever" all the time and don't literally mean it, but I just want to say I'm being completely serious.

Legend of the Rollerblade Seven.

NOTHING about this movie makes sense. The narrator is, apparently, a fat guy playing bongos while two bondage geared strippers writhe around in front of him, in the middle of some desert. Everyone else spends their time rolling around aimlessly in drainage ditches. Occasionally it will cut to some insane guy in a wheel chair (strangely, the best actor in the movie) who goes on unintelligible rants where he says things like "I want to get on a skateboard ... and fly away" and basically just repeats himself over and over for 5 minutes at a time. People also have a fondness for randomly teleporting around, dying and coming back to life without explanation, and having entire scenes where no one is actually speaking but the voices are dubbed over (I guess they're supposed to be communicating telepathically, but why? WHY?), etc.

There are a few cherished moments that made me cry with laughter. I would say that the song at the end is worth the purchase or rental of this movie alone; I pretty much couldn't breathe and was kicking feebly in the air as I rolled around with tears streaming down my face. The rest of the film, however, is just excruciating.

If you have the means to acquire this movie, I would suggest you do it, because if you can make it through this, you will be be fully mentally and physically prepared for any traumatic events to occur for the rest of your life.