Phoenix the Warrior

"She-Wolves of the Wasteland" belongs to the "post-nuclear war" movies wave that followed "Mad Max". Provided with a typical 80s disco keyboard soundtrack, its most unusual element is the cast which comprises almost entirely of females. Did I hear anyone complain? No! One tribe lead by the mutant "Reverend Mother" and the warrioress Cobalt (Persis Khambatta from "Star Trek" and "Megaforce") tries to find the (possibly) last male on earth, but he is on the run with Phoenix (gorgeous: Kathleen Kinmont)... What do we get from this movie? Quite a lot of fun, for example there is a mutant tribe whose gospel includes the holy words "Sesamy Street" from a mysterious distant past, and obviously with all the babes around: exploitation with a capital S. These girls are so violent, when they run out of ammo, they pick up swords to cut throats - or even tear each other's hair! Yes, it's silly, but compared to other flicks of the genre that have too many gladiator fights and car races, it's one of the better trash movies around and worth checking out!

Recipe: a dozen scantily-dressed strippers out in the desert with guns and a few dune buggies. Build sets from found items. Sketch out a hack script, then let the girls improvise actual dialog. Add one desperate-for-the-big-time actress who once had a good part in a big-budget movie. Roll 'em!

This appears to be the sad result of someone taking money for production, spending it elsewhere, and then quickly filming this over a weekend so they wouldn't have to return what they'd spent. There are worse films; the images are in focus, dialog is audible, and the uncredited soundtrack improves as the film goes on. But there isn't anything to see here that isn't done better elsewhere -- namely, AMAZONS from the year before (1986), which had actual sets (left over from Deathstalker) and a lead actress who had actual weapons training. See that instead, and skip this.

First of all, this is not the most well known movie, haha. It is also not that great of a movie if you are looking at it too critically. Then again, this movie is not meant to be perceived in that way, at all. My friend and I like to enjoy these obscure little movies sometimes and he told me this one was definitely worth seeing. If you can handle it for what it is, it is indeed a must-see.

The movie itself is very campy, as anyone can tell from the film cover. There are mixed performances ranging from very good to very bad, very fun to very boring. The storyline, which I don't recall much of, is a contender for Best Screenplay indeed, and the movie altogether is just one big mess, but a very enjoyable one at that. No doubt this was made for those types of movie-goers who look for campy, nothing movies. However, I myself tend to be that type of movie-goer at times and this was just what I ordered when I was in the mood for it. Like I said in my summary, it's a poor movie when it all boils down to it, but it really doesn't matter because it is so fun to watch.

The movie is basically about a society of women in a post apocalyptic setting who hunt down the last remaining men and kill them in order to promote the goals of their leader who appears to be a very old borg/emperor palpatine love child. They do so in order to bring about her ultimate "goals" which are never really revealed. The only explanation the movie offers is that she is wanting to create her own race of humans, but how she plans on doing so without men is kind of left up in the air. To put it simply this was a total blue ball movie. A complete build up with absolutely no release. There are only two nude scenes back to back (one involving child birth which totally takes away from the awesomeness of the nude female figure) and before you know it everybody is fully clothed, acting badly, and running around hopelessly looking for the end. And that's just the people watching watching it. Oh bazing! Many times during this movie I found myself screaming for the female warriors of the waste to get naked and start doing each other, but unfortunately that never happens. If you want a good mad max sexploitation movie, then keep looking. This one is NOT it.

Poor Persis Khambatta. This stunningly beautiful actress did not leave us with a long (or even a short) catalogue of exceptional films. She will always be remembered as the Deltan Lieutenant Ilia in 1979's "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" (which, let's face it, wasn't that great of a movie either), but other than that, she appeared in a handful (12, to be exact) of films that were mostly eminently forgettable. And none of them was more forgettable than "Phoenix: The Warrior," aka "Warriors of the Wasteland." As one of the film's thumbnail summaries puts it, "Big hair, big guns and a serious lack of wardrobe. A post-apocalyptic story that features women who leave little to the imagination as they do battle in junkyards and gravel pits."

It's tough to review a movie when what's bad about it is everything. Where do you start? The preposterously nonsensical plot? The hopelessly flat-footed dialogue? The even more hopelessly amateurish acting? The grotesque hair? The clownish makeup? The hysterically skimpy costumes? The bad-home-movie production values?

Why did Khambatta take this role? Was it to pay the bills? Was it the only work she could get, at least in the States? It's so sad: She had a disastrous combination of a chain-smoking habit and bad genes that led to her needing a coronary bypass operation at the age of 35. Despite the operation, she went on to die of a massive heart attack only 10 years after she made this dismal dog of a movie. R. I. P.