Touche pas à mes tennis

This film is one of my favorite of all time. Why? Because there's obviously something wrong with me. Who in their right mind would find brilliance in a film so thoroughly built for the quick Drive-in buck. Who would tolerate marginal acting and a non-existent storyline, a soundtrack the consists of three songs played over and over and over again, and a freeze- frame ending where everyone is laughing at a bad joke?

Who, you ask? Anyone who can see past the mechanics of this film, the strained convention and the low-budget. Crown International was the perpetrator of this relaxing slice of 1970's nostalgia and they know how to make these type of films like no one else.

There's something magical that exists between the lines of this film and how it captures the lazy days and fun nights of being a teenager and spending your days on and near the beach. It reminded me of those times back in the late 70's/early 80's. Moreover, the two lead girls have definitely got something going. And, as far as the three songs are concerned, with the exception of the synth track that seems to be the only thing that plays at the bar they all go to, the other two tracks ("I go to pieces" originally by Peter and Gordon, and "You're Gonna find love" by who the heck knows) add to the charming time machine quality of this film.

During my summers, when I was too young to see R-rated films like these, I recall that Crown used to group their latest and their last as double features. This film originally was grouped with "The Van" and later with "Van Nuys Blvd." Both MB and Van had "Dugan", whom, I guess, wasn't a popular enough character to make a franchise out of (due to the unfortunate comic stylings of Steve Oliver). Van Nuys Blvd., it seems, couldn't procure him so they created the much beloved character "Chooch" instead. A sad day for all, indeed.

I put this on sometimes when I have friends over. The typical response they have is amazement at the sheer randomness and stupidity of the movie -- but after a few minutes, no one can stop watching it. When I ask why, they usually say, "I just want to see what happens next." Sign of a masterpiece if you ask me.

Some of the oldest looking graduates leave Malibu High for the promise of good times on Malibu Beach. Honestly it looked like every blond blue eyed boy in Southern California was tapped to be an extra.

No real plot, a lot of interconnected stories. The main storyline consists of Kim Lankford a new lifeguard and the rivalry for her between surfer James Daughton and bodybuilder Steven Oliver.

Malibu Beach is like an extended version of Bay Watch. Some forgettable Beach Boy type songs. Usual silliness.

But a lot of the blond and beautiful.

Malibu Beach doesn't have much in the way of a plot, but it doesn't really need one:it's more than happy to wander aimlessly from scene to scene with a 'why worry?' attitude that is perfectly suited to its carefree teenage characters, all of whom are far too busy living for the now to think about the bigger picture.

There's sexy young lifeguard Dina (the gorgeous Kim Lankford), handsome high-schooler Bobby (James Daughton), promiscuous babe Glorianna (Tara Strohmeier), desperate nerd Claude (Roger Lawrence Pierce), Margie the hot-dog stand girl (Sherry Lee Marks), and the older (but none the wiser) bodybuilder beach-bully Dugan (Steve Oliver) to name but a few. As the viewer, we get to tag along with these regulars of the beach scene as they party in the sun and frolic in the hot summer nights.

While it's far from ground-breaking stuff—a series of frivolous vignettes in which our on-screen pals party, swim, dance, race, fight, and hook up with each other—it's a lot of fun while it lasts, a reminder of a time of life when all that mattered was having a laugh with your friends (whilst trying to attract the attention of the opposite sex).

"Malibu Beach" is one of several beach-themed movies Crown International released in the late '70s/early '80s. Until its recent resurrection in several DVD box sets of Crown International movies it was pretty much forgotten, and it doesn't take too long when watching it to guess why. To be fair, the movie, while low budget, never looks really cheap. (Except maybe for the scene with the shark's head, which looks worse than the shark built for the Italian JAWS rip-off GREAT WHITE.) The movie also has an attractive and likable cast. But the movie quickly becomes boring because there is essentially no plot here - it's just a bunch of vignettes loosely connected with each other. And the various attempts at humor throughout are extremely predictable with their execution and punchlines. Still, I will admit that the movie could have been much worse to sit through.

With school officially over, "Dina" (Kim Lankford) gets a new job as a lifeguard at the local beach. Later that night she and "Sally" (Susan Player) are driving around and they just happen to get a flat tire. As they are fixing it two young men by the names of ""Bobby" (James Daughton) and "Paul" (Michael Luther) come along and offer to help out. Soon, as they become better acquainted, they begin to hang out and have a lot of fun. So much for the rather basic plot. To make things worse, there really isn't much comedy to be found and the music essentially consisted of about 3 or 4 songs played over and over again. Yet even considering all of that, this movie wasn't a complete waste due in large part to the beautiful scenery and the feelings of nostalgia this film managed to create. Likewise, both Kim Lankford and Susan Player weren't bad to look at either. Hey, it's great to be young and like most "Beach movies" this film celebrates it. But even so there are better beach movies out there. Still, for what it's worth, I suppose it will suffice on a cold, rainy night if absolutely necessary. As a result I rate it as only slightly below average.