Secret Santa

This was titled Christmassacre on Prime, and it should not be confused with the 2018 Adam Marcus-directed comedy/horror Secret Santa on the same platform. Regardless this one is an amateur slasher comedy. And considering that this film's budget was apparently expired foodstamps, some of the dialogue is actually pretty funny and the quasi-professional actors deliver relatively decent performances. Unfortunately the story is trite, the practical effects look silly and the budgetary constraints detract from virtually every scene. There's a sense that the people involved in the production have real talent, but there wasn't the time or money available to develop their ideas into something entertaining or even fully coherent.

At a glance, this is another super low budget holiday slasher flick, and while those are becoming a dime a dozen, I still think this one stands out for several reasons. For starters, it is void of slasher Santas (despite the box art) while still being festively linked to the holiday season. Second, the filmmakers clearly knew their budget limitations and decided to give it more of an 80s B horror/comedy grindhouse throwback kind of vibe, which absolutely works. Likewise, they had to improvise on the gore and I'm sensing some PA ended up hitting the grocery store for assorted shredded meats and maybe some Spam. Again, it works. Last, it doesn't take itself too seriously and that actually is really important with a low budget film. The acting is amateur but a lot of the characters are intentionally over the top which ends up making it a pretty fun movie. Overall, if you don't mind low budget and campy, definitely give this one a shot.

Indie horror flicks seem to be getting churned out at such an alarming pace these days that it's hard to keep up, but I'm glad I caught Secret Santa. It at least attempts a little character development here and there, has a great lead (Annette Wozniak), and has a sense of humor to go along with all the blood and guts. It does do the rather annoying "let's add dust and scratches to make it look like an old grindhouse print" thing, which makes no sense since the film takes place in modern day and would never be confused for a film of that era, but that's a small nitpick when there was obviously a good deal of heart and enthusiasm put into this movie. Also, major props for the killer reveal. It's been a long time since I've been that surprised by a slasher movie killer reveal.

A throwback to the 80's slashers complete with dirty, gritty prints to give it that grindhouse feel but set in today's time. A sadistic Santa is sending people gifts that will eventually kill them. If you get a cleaver that will be your fate. He stays true to his word. We see this with a girl who had just opened her gift and receives a hair dryer. Moments later she is in the tub so when the killer goes to throw the hair dryer in the water the plug doesn't reach. He just proceeds to beat her to death with the thing.

It stays true to the fell of the low budget slasher but it does take over 50 minutes to get going. Not too gory but you get the 80's effects with the dismemberments etc. They even throw in a few twists along the way.

Shot on video with a godawful grainy 'grindhouse' filter effect (Quentin Tarantino has a lot to answer for), comedy slasher Secret Santa delivers some fairly decent gore effects, the majority of which occur in the final twenty minutes, meaning that there's the best part of an hour of 'character development' to get through first - not great when most of the characters in question are so tedious, the script lamentably dumb, and the acting unbearable.

The worst offender is, without a doubt, Geoff Almond as hopped-up loser Dwayne, who is as irritating as he is bald, but there are plenty of other obnoxious types guaranteed to rankle, including smarmy professor Ramsey (Tony Nash) who is diddling his student Olivia (Nicole Kawalez), promiscuous blonde Carissa (Keegan Chambers), and two-timing Bryan (Brent Baird), who cheated on his girlfriend Nicole (Annette Wozniak), the only likeable character in the whole film (even if she is a web cam model).

Nicole is, not surprisingly, the film's 'final girl', all of her friends bumped off before the end of the film by a masked killer who has been sending them Secret Santa gifts that reveal how they will be killed: a meat cleaver, an electric knife, gardening shears (for a spot of graphic penis pruning!), and a hairdryer (which leads to the funniest moment in the film, when the cable proves too short for the killer to throw it into the victim's bath). The bloody and well executed gore (head smashed in, decapitations, chainsawed legs) in the final act, and the occasional spot of gratuitous female nudity (although, rather strangely, no boobage), make it just about worth persevering until the end.

4.5/10, rounded down to 4 for the aged/distressed look, which is completely unconvincing and totally unnecessary.