All Through the House

I love horror movies. I even love bad horror movies. This, however, was painfully, stupidly bad.

There's no need to include spoilers in this review. If you can think of an overplayed horror movie trope, it's in there. I was bored and mostly just wanted it to end.

I didn't particularly like nor dislike "All through the House". In fact, if I had to label the one sentiment I experienced most during my viewing of this film, I'd say it's 'sympathy'. Sympathy because "All through the House" is reasonably well-made and entertaining for an amateur horror movie (yes, let's face it, it remains an amateur movie). And sympathy because the film looks exactly like how any inexperienced but over-enthusiast horror director would make it.

Honestly, I don't mean for this to sound disrespectful, but "All through the House" seems made by teenagers and made for teenage audiences. This basically implies that everything is outrageous but textbook & clichéd horror guff. The killer Santa Claus wears a horrific mask and uses nasty weapons like hedge clippers. All the girls are stunningly beautiful and have big breasts. The kills are insanely gore, sadist and obsessively oriented at genitalia. The poor girls get clippers through their breasts and the men get castrated. Even the innocent creatures (like harmless pets) and defenseless people (like helpless old ladies in wheelchairs) are brutally slain. Is this juvenile approach bad by definition? No, of course not, but the aspects that truly make horror movies memorably are overlooked because of this. There isn't any suspense or atmosphere, the potentially grim background of the murderous Santa is poorly elaborated, and the anti-climax is sort of disappointing.

What lured me in to watch "All Through the House" was the movie cover/poster, as it has a blood-drenched Santa holding a pair of hedge cutters. And knowing that this was going to be a slasher horror, then the movie did seem to have the potential to be a good movie. And given my love for the horror genre, then of course I gave "All Through the House" a chance.

The movie starts out quite alright, and there is action in form of killing right from the very beginning. But that was also just about as exciting and thrilling as this movie would be. The rest of the movie just settled into a monotonous trot and just paced onward in a pace that left no one winded.

There is actually nothing to be seen in "All Through the House" that hasn't already been established, done and seen in other slasher movies, both the established franchises and the stand-alone slasher movies. So you shouldn't expect anything out of the ordinary when you sit down to watch "All Through the House".

As for the acting in the movie, well let's just say that it was fair enough, taking into consideration the genre and the budget of the movie. However, I can say that there was nothing outstanding or memorable to be witnessed throughout the movie.

The effects in "All Through the House" were adequate. But again, not really special effects that left any lasting impression of awe or amazement. But the effects served their purpose well enough.

The killer himself, well he definitely is no next Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers that is for sure. Actually this serial killer is hardly one that you will remember once the movie has come to an end and the end credits start to roll.

There are far better slasher movies available, and this movie might be suitable enough for an off-beat slasher movies during a prolonged slasher movie marathon. Just don't get your hopes up for anything grand or spectacular.

So in many ways this is a fairly generic slasher movie.

The acting isnt bad but isnt amazing, there is a lot of T&A as is common in these movies and plenty of gore and kills. The killers mask is actually pretty creepy which I thought was good, not often the killer genuinely is a bit creepy.

For the most part though this was a fairly generic slasher movie but, without giving any spoilers, I will say the backstory for the killer turned out to be pretty unique. Thats hard to come by nowadays. Overall really not a bad slasher movie at all, maybe not a classic but very watchable.

Just in time for Halloween comes this slasher throwback about a man wearing a Krampus costume doling out death with a pair of hedge shears. This one follows all the rules of slasherness in a campy manor from the breasts to the surreal characters to the cheesy squirting blood. A no brainer Friday night flick for sure and it keeps you laughing.

The killer liked to shear off penises (the cat gets at one of them) and I thought maybe the writer is telling us something but later you see that he literally has a bag of dicks. The end tells me a sequel is coming. There now is a new film the whole family can enjoy on Christmas Eve.