Eine Million Jahre vor unserer Zeit

Vaguely similar to the 'Dawn of Man' sequence in '2001' and set long ago when women wore false eyelashes and permed hair, but hadn't yet learned to eat quietly. Raquel Welch in her first starring role was helped by the fact that she didn't need to learn lines, but the real reason to watch it is Martine Beswick as a feral savage called Nupondi. And the music by Mario Nascimbene is up to Hammer's usual high standard.

Both "One Million B.C." (1940), and this film, a remake, "One Million Years B.C." (1966) are films that are half-cherished and half-despised. They are what are classified as camp classics and I agree that both of them are exactly like that. They are both about equal in entertainment quality, but they must not be taken too seriously. Like I've stated in my review of the original "One Million B.C.", dinosaurs and caveman did not live in the same time period. They never knew of each other. But "One Million Years B.C." is a fantasy movie. It takes place in an imaginary world. And it must be treated exactly as it is: a fantasy.

"One Million Years B.C." is just as good, if not better, than the original film upon which it was based. It follows the same basic storyline and the same kind of plot. It's basically an ancient love story to perhaps explore the possible emotions of our ancestors. And then to add some campy, but innovative action to heighten the entertainment value. The film stars Raquel Welch, who in her fur bikini, is undoubtedly the most famous feature of the film. The poster shot of Raquel from this film is more famous than the film itself. And she is stunningly beautiful on screen. Also not all that bad in performance. John Richardson is a great equivalent to Victor Mature from the original and in my opinion, Richardson has a more convincing appearance and performance as a strong and bold warrior. And the rest of the entire cast is just more actors and actresses dressed in fur clothing and wearing makeup to enhance the appearance of an ancient race.

After Raquel Welch, the most famous feature of "One Million Years B.C." is the stop-motion dinosaurs created by the famous and brilliant effects artist Ray Harryhausen. Here, he is at his peak. It was animating dinosaurs in his youth when he began to learn to perform the art, so bringing them onto the screen was always right in his territory. The film features several dinosaurs, not enough in my opinion, I would have liked to have seen two or three more, but enough. All of whom are realistically created after hours and hours of hard work. And the dinosaurs are much more convincing than the people in rubber suits and giant lizards from the original. There is one graphically enlarged lizard in the film, however, and it turned out more comical than frightening with its hissing sounds and its slurping tongue. But not a bad effect or idea, nonetheless. The other dinosaurs, particularly the fearsome Allosaurus, are magnificently done. They even utilize the breathing mechanisms to make it appear as if the animals are actually breathing. And while stop-motion animation may seem obsolete now days, back in its day, it was the most convincing special effect in Hollywood. And it still remains to this day as a magical and popular animation technique.

Aside from the dinosaurs, the other special effects were acceptable for their time. There were a few moments where I could tell that the cave wall that two cavemen are shoving each other into was really made out of rubber. And a few other shots weren't perfect either, but nothing to get picky about. It is, after all, a 60s film.

Bottom line, "One Million Years B.C." is a very fine film and is very entertaining and satisfying if you just simply treat it as a non-serious fantasy film, which it is. Just sit back, enough the sight of Raquel Welch's stunning beauty, the magnificent Mario Nascimbene music score in the background, fine performances by the cast, wonderful stop-motion dinosaurs, and a great camp classic.

One Million Years B.C. is THE film that made me a movie fan and lover of all things prehistoric! Ray Harryhausen's creatures are great, the music adds superbly to the atmosphere, the location photography looks just right (just ignore the occasional obvious set), and there has never been a better-looking cavegirl than Raquel Welch!

A solid-gold guilty pleasure! Actually, what's there to be guilty about? This film is solid-gold entertainment!

This movie is everything a prehistoric adventure should be. Forget the fact that dinosaurs and man did not co-exist...this is just as much a fantasy as "Jason and the Argonauts" or "Star Wars".

The world of "One Million Years B.C." is insanely brutal, where man is the weakest creature in a harsh landscape of volcanoes and giant monsters. The Rock People have lives that are "nasty, brutish and short", where only the strongest survive. They are dominated by the rugged chief Akoba, whose two sons Tumak and Sakana are in a constant battle to see who will gain his favor. Sakana gains the upper hand and Tumak is banished into the wastelands. After dodging monsters, he finally arrives at the seaside domain of the Shell People, who are more cultured and civilized. He captures the eye of the beautiful Loana and the two have a non-stop series of adventures.

The narrative is direct and primitive, befitting the primeval setting. John Richardson is quite good as Tumak...he is decent but still has a lot of barbarism in him. As for young Raquel Welch, not even the special effects of Ray Harryhausen could outshine her incredible beauty in this film. Even in our own time, gorgeous babes like these are rare...they would be totally impossible in the prehistoric world. The stunning Raquel is pure eye candy and succeeds better in this regard than any other actress in film history. Especially noteworthy is her cat-fight with sultry Martine Beswick, no slouch in the looks department herself.

Ray Harryhausen outdoes himself again with brilliant stop motion dinosaurs. Look at the realistic movements of these creatures, which have not been surpassed by CGI. The ravenous Allosaurus who duels with Tumak is a particular stand-out, but the battling Triceratops and Ceratosaur are also pretty cool. The movie also features the more standard giant lizard dressed up and made huge, but even this scene is better than most of its ilk. An eerie scene featuring ape-men and some colossal earthquake and erupting volcanoes round out an exciting picture.

Don't look for anything really deep in this one. Just expect primitive action with plenty of monsters, battling cavemen and the awesome Raquel Welch. This movie does everything it sets out to do.

Take off your cultural blinders...the one you put on when you watch a "trashy" movie...and think about what you are actually experiencing as you watch this movie. Is it merely a "trash" entertainment? To be sure, Raquel Welch in her furkini, the now quaint quality of the Harryhausen effects, the girl fight between Raquel and Martine Beswick, all provide the frisson of "trash" delight. But this movie is much more than that, a tour de force of imagination, and a heartbreaking work of staggering genius. The vision of man adrift in a hostile universe, at odds with his fellow creatures, his own untamed emotions, and the apocalyptic earth itself, is haunting and beautiful. Our only hope is Raquel, who offers a transcendent vision of peace and love--without uttering a word.

Special kudos to the music. Where the special effects strain against their limits, as in the terrifying pterodactyl attack and the final upheaval, the music carries home the emotion. I am reminded of Schopenhauer: "The internal relation that music has to the true nature of all things can also explain the fact that, when music suitable to any scene, action, event, or environment is played, it seems to disclose to us its utmost secret meaning and appears to be the most accurate and distinct commentary on it." In a film where words matter so little, the music is especially crucial. As you watch the pterodactyl snatch Raquel and carry her off to feed its young while the other humans watch in helpless dismay, listen to the music, and think about the "utmost secret meaning" of what you are witnessing. This is an artistic moment of astounding ambition, and there are many such moments throughout this sustained meditation on man and the universe.

A few years later, the same team made Creatures the World Forgot, a more "realistic" look at prehistoric survival sans dinosaurs, with a Cain and Abel story that is riveting...and my god, the cave people are hot!