I shot some guns. Here is what I learned:

Shotguns are heavy. I box with 14 ounce gloves but that shotgun was weighing me down. A woman my size would never be able to carry one around for too long. So from now on in stories I give shotguns to big dudes. The shotgun was also badass. I felt like shooting some zombies but there were none to be found.

Speaking of big guns, I actually felt safer holding them because I felt like there was less chance I would accidentally shoot something that required my entire body's attention.

The 45 was fun to shoot and I actually managed to hit what I aimed for. It was a WW2 gun and I wish I could say I was pretending to shoot Nazis but really I was thinking "I would like to make a hole there." I think guns make you a little bit more retarded.

The Magnum scared the pants off of me. I shot it only once and then fled, squealing in terror while OFFICER BEEFCAKE - for that is his name since he is in law enforcement and he is indeed beefcakey - blew lots of big old holes in the target with his ridiculously large hand cannon, a gun I referred to as "the laser gun" because it had a laser site on it. Officer Beefcake believes this makes me sound silly. I believe it makes me sound adorable. We'll see who's right.

Guns are loud. Not that I'm surprised to learn that guns are loud, but damn. Guns are loud. As soon as I walked into the range I jumped about ten feet out of my skin. An hour later I was just blinking hard when a gun went off. I never really got comfortable with how loud the Magnum was though. People in movies are all "ladeedaaa" about guns but Christ they are loud. And recoiley.

I also learned a few little combat tricks and that my thumb is weak and my hands are small and nobody needed my ID to shoot guns as long as I was with a big dude who brought his own artillery. And shells fly up in the air and hit you on the head if you stand right next to the guy firing the gun so you probably shouldn't do that.

Next time I'm totally gonna shoot the rifle, because fuck a zombie.