Rotten Reelz Reviews: Burt Reynolds

Showing posts with label Burt Reynolds. Show all posts

Monday, July 23, 2018

GTA: Vice City

How goes it my readers? Well I missed Comic Con thanks to a butt ton of migraines so that sucked. Today's foray into writing is an older subject I haven't done in a while, it's a video game. Well it took me a while to get off of crappy WiFi and pick up Cox Cable again. Yeah priorities are fun. So I thought we would hit Steam for some classic mischief and nothing says classy like the world of Grand Theft Auto. This is GTA: Vice City

Tools and the talent.

In the far-back time of 2002, Rockstar Games gave us standard third-person perspective as we follow the story of Tommy Vercetti (Ray Liotta of Goodfellas, Unlawful Entry, No Escape, Corrina, Corrina, Cop Land, Revolver, Smokin' Aces and Narc). A low ranking soldier of the Forelli family from Liberty City is back after a 15 year stretch in the iron bar hotel.

The year is 1986 and his boss Sonny (Tom Sizemore of Heat, Red Planet, Blackhawk Down, Dreamcatcher, Born Killers and No Rules) feels his loyalty has earned him caporegime (Made Man, a boss among men) being put in charge of Vice City. With a middleman, a crooked lawyer Ken the deal is set to go when out of nowhere, a three man hit squad smokes Tommy's bodyguards and the drug supplier. Tommy and Ken flee while the gunmen take off with the cash and drugs.

All I asked was for Don Johnson's autograph!

Sonny is pissed and leaves it in Tommy's hands. Tommy hits a yacht party hosted by a retired colonel Cortez (Robert Davi of Maniac Cop 2, Maniac Cop 3, Die Hard, License to Kill, Profiler and The Expendables 3) who brokered the coke deal and he wants answers too. With a bit of mission working, Tommy starts piecing who screwed him and starts wacking wise guys like he has a hunting licence. Bumping off a few key players in Vice City, Tommy and new partner Lance Vance (Phillip Michael Thomas of Miami Vice, The Wizard of Speed and Time, Extralarge: Black and White, Extralarge: Miami Killer, Swamp Thing, Extralarge: Moving Target and We Are Angels) the boys are sitting pretty on that much Colombian flake.

Meet pillars of the community.

Doesn't hurt to have a biker gang watching the compound and working with the Cuban gangs as business partners. Tommy can also hide his money in buying out bankrupt companies, putting them back in the game and having additional earnings.

Let's talk about gameplay. Standard W,A,S,D for movement, mouse for direction and of course index figure is firearms, melee like a bat, blade or brass knuckles and punch. Yes you can "acquire" cars, trucks and bikes as you could in GTA III but all radio shows, music, chat formats are all 80s. Gun, machine guns, SMGs, grenades, RPGs (Rocket Propelled Grenades), ball bats, a katana, it's nuts what Tommy has to work with. While some missions will be timed, overall you can explore the town, get the vibe of it and in general, have a blast.

Given we are in the wayback machine on this one, Vice City cannot help but look like Miami. Dude, we have Lee Majors, Burt Reynolds, Danny Trejo, Gary Busey, Luis Guzman, Dennis Hopper all making voice appearances. Including Blondie's Debbie Harry and Adult Actress Jenna Jameson as plot based characters. Even NY Giants Lawrence Taylor is in on this.

Missions vary from delivering four flavors of ass whipping, to a remote control helicopter ride for demolitions and more gun fights than a game of Quake.

Yes it is just as violent as say...almost any action, drama, crime drama or buddy cop film in the 80s and so what? This can be one the kids play or not. That is a parent call.

Nothing seamy going on here. Honest.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Burt Reynolds Week: Gator

Welcome back readers for Burt Reynolds Week continuation. I thought we would tackle a sequel and you know how I have issues with sequels but this might very well be enjoyable. So grab a drink, take off your shoes and sit a spell. This is Gator.

Uh, Black Russian please.

“Why do they call you Spoiler?” “Cause I TELL THEM too.”

When we last left McKlusky, he had pulled the rug out from under Sheriff J.C. and got out of the hoosegow and went back to his white lightning days. Running liquor is risky as always but the cash is too good to pass up. The governor (Mike Douglas of the Mike Douglas Show, The Carol Burnett Show and The Last Valley) is tired of hearing about the lack of stopping crime in his fair county when his PR boys in junction with a New York cop off to serve up the man that has been wrecking the county with prostitution, protection and moonshine.

Domesticated swamp bliss.

After a lengthy speed boat chase through the swamps of which was about 8 minutes long, the cops just nab Pappy McKulsky and Gator’s little girl for leverage. Low and behold the Feds pinch Gator (Burt Reynolds of Gunsmoke, Navajo Joe, Hawk, Fade-In, Impasse, Fuzz, Hustle and Shamus) and give him a deal overlook the shine and NOT take his 9 year old daughter to foster care if he is willing to rat out an old schoolmate Bama McCall (Jerry Reed of Smokey and the Bandit, Hot Stuff, Good Ol’ Boys, Concrete Cowboys, The Survivors, What Comes Around and The Waterboy).

The undercover NYC cop Irving Greenfield (Jack Weston of The Thomas Crown Affair, Wait Until Dark, All in a Night’s Work, My Sister Eileen, The Honeymoon Machine, The Hathaways and It’s Only Money) wants to work the sting with Gator but he points out to Greenfield he will stick out like a bagel in a bowl of grits.

Ready for my close up, Mr. Reynolds.

There is a far amount of racism throughout the movie and none too subtle but it is mostly delivered as snotty dialogue and sarcasm which makes it slightly entertaining. Gator of course is back to his usual roots such as; drinking, racing, chasing loose women and pissing off the officials and the criminals.

Gator gets in good with Bama only to spy a pretty little reporter Aggie Maybank (Supermodel Lauren Hutton of The Gambler, Viva Knivevel!, A Wedding, American Gigolo, Zorro: The Gay Blade and Once Bitten) and typical habits are to follow.

I have a quick few odds and ends about the film. Initially Richard Kiel was slated to play Bones the behemoth bodyguard but he had a schedule conflict and suggested his also gargantuan buddy William Engesser. The romance between Aggie and Gator feels a bit hammy and not as believable. Sure Burt is pretty but that can last all of a weekend with this character while Hutton’s character is a charming, sophisticated and intelligent woman that just seemed out of place by this man’s side but that is just a writer’s critique.

The action is impressive, the jokes are mildly raunchy and the car chases almost rival the boat sequence. This follows under Good Ole Boy film in that the plot is decent but a bit pale compared to White Lightning. Still not a bad film.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Burt Reynolds Week: 100 Rifles

Back again for more of Burt Reynolds week and I apologize for the delay. I was busily assisting my folks in getting my mom back to more comfortable surroundings and last night’s thunderstorm said stay away from the computer.

I thought this time around we would journey back to 1969. A western based on the 1966 novel The Californio by Robert MacLeond was getting a screenplay treatment by writer/director Tom Gries (Hell’s Horizon, Wanted: Dead or Alive, The Rifleman and The Rat Patrol) and writer Clair Huffaker (Lawman, Colt .45, The Comacheros, Posse from Hell and The Second Time Around) cooked up the wild western tale of a revolution in Mexico and our boy Burt is smack dab in the middle of it all. So saddle them horses, ride till dark and don’t shoot unless shot upon. This is 100 Rifles.

Well clearly I will blend into this town.

You big headed spoiler! You are such a dummy!

The year is 1912, the place Mexico as the tyrannical General Verdugo (Fernando Lamas of The Merry Widow, The Lost World, Magic Fountain, The Violent Ones, The Lonely Profession and The Cheap Detective) puts a virtual stranglehold over the land, exploiting the Yaqui Indians into slave labor and has anyone and everyone shot who disagrees with his policy. Think G.W. only with bigger cojones. Joe Herrera (Burt Reynolds of Sharkey’s Machine, Stick, Heat, Malone, Switching Channels and Evening Shade) a half-breed Indian (Sheesh am I in Gunsmoke again?) of the Yaqui tribe sneaks off to Arizona and steals 6,000 buckaroos to buy rifles for his people. Their plan is a bloody siege and storm against Verdugo’s men and defenses.

I'm sorry but you are too big for marachi.

Lawman Lyedecker (NFL fullback of the Cleveland Browns Jim Brown of The Dirty Dozen, Riot, Black Gunn, The Slams, Three the Hard Way, Take a Hard Ride and Mars Attacks) hops a train down to Mexico to find this bank robbing little blaggard and toss his hairy hinder in a cage for the rest of his natural days. The two men get damn near pinched by Verdugo’s men and they flee for the hills when they are found by gorgeous revolutionary Sarita (Raquel Welch of Fantastic Voyage, One Million Years B.C., Fathom, Bandolero!, The Three Musketeers, The Four Musketeer: Milady’s Revenge and Right to Die) led into the hills for safety. The fellas trade snotty comments, ethnic slurs and fists as well until Lyedecker agrees to take command of the Yaqui tribe for an assault on the general.

Now I have a few bones about this movie, and seeing Raquel’s shower scene was NOT one of them. This is in all intents purpose an action movie and yet I get the feeling Tom Gries had little experience in such matters. Apparently his idea of zooming up on Raquel or Jim firing then cut scene to staggering soldier was the end all. Half of the time these actors avoided physics in that they fell forward when they should have dropped to the side or on their back. Also there were so many dynamics with rough and tough thief, iron clad lawman and then sexy revolutionary I was trying to figure out whose story I should be following.

Alright Palmer, where's my alimony??!!

The whole love story between Lyedecker and Sarita felt a bit sudden but hey I am not writing the bloody thing. It was a bit confusing but this is very common when trying to translate a 500 page book into a script not even half that long.

It felt like the film wanted to tell the entire lands their tale but they ran out of time. Still all in all a fairly enjoyable flick and quite a crack up to see Reynolds sock it out with Jim Brown.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Burt Reynolds Week : White Lightning

Welcome one and all to the week of Burt Reynolds. Now I will be going over his earliest movies as we already covered him being in Gunsmoke for 4 years. This time around we have a guanine time line movie for you. It’s all about stilling shine, bribes and a bit unorthodox police brutality. So strap on your seat belts, keep a look out of smokeys and brace yourselves. This is White Lightning.

Silly smokeys think I am gonna pull over.

You damn peanuthead, you don’t know your spoiler from second base, you know that?

Bobby”Gator” McKlusky (Burt Reynolds of Navajo Joe, Gunsmoke, Shamus, The Longest Yard, Hooper, Starting Over and City Heat) is doing a nickel stretch in Arkansas corrections for running moonshine when he finds out his younger brother Donny was murdered. He believes that the sheriff of the county he grew up in is responsible. He knows that Sheriff J.C. Conners (Ned Beatty of Deliverance, The Thief Who Came to Dinner, The Last American Hero, Gator, Superman, Midnight Crossing and Homicide: Life on the Street)is more crooked than a white fence and agrees to go undercover for the Feds to expose the sheriff for the dubious, heartless bastard that he is. To do that, the Feds outfit Gator with a ’71 LTD with a V8 big block so he can tear ass around the county and sign up to run moonshine or “White Lightning” as it is called in these here parts. Yikes, talking like that is contagious.

Ladies dig the burns, fellas. Remember that.

Gator hooks up with an ex-con mechanic name of Dude Watson (Matt Clark of In the Heat of the Night, The Outlaw Josey Wales and Back to the Future Part III) to bring Gator into the shine business. Reluctant as hell but knows when he is whipped, Dude links Gator up with Roy (Bo Hopkins of the Wild Bunch, American Graffiti, Midnight Express and Cowboy Up) a good ole boy that needs a blocker to mess with the cops between deliveries. Gator starts jotting down how much gets delivered and to whom, in the hopes this will tighten the noose around J.C.’s neck. A bit of side action from Roy’s ladyfriend Lou (Jennifer Billingsley of General Hospital, Lady in a Cage and The Thirsty Dead) who could not outwit a stuffed iguana but is easy on the eyes.

I have just a few points to make about the film. This flick was shot in 35mm Spherical and sadly recorded in Mono. Stereo was a trifle expensive. As the cops are chasing Gator down a dirt path I noticed the rear window in his car was indeed missing but prior to the chase he leapt in the car and it had a rear window. Continuity people!!!! We had a few six shooters fire more than their fare share of rounds than the revolver carried but again this tiny oversight can be ignored.

Best be good, boy or I make you squeal like me.

This film has street brawling, car chases, shoot outs and more action in just one film that I have seen in a while. Yes fellas, you get to see a fair amount of Billingsley; now move on. All in all it was a fun flick.

Blog 225!!! Burt Reynolds Week

Hey folks I thought this week we would pay a bit of homage to an actor who paid his dues from Westerns, Action, Comedy and serious Drama. A man that stands at 5'11" and for many ladies appreciation did a near nude in Cosmopolitan in 1972 on a tiger skin rug. So this week will be focused none other than Burt Reynolds.

So ladies try to not swoon, Fellas don't be haters. I hope you all enjoy.

Little cheesecake for the ladies.

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