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BRAMBLETYE HOUSE, or CAVALIERS AND ROUNDHEADS

Horace Smith (1779-1849)

A ruined castle on the edge of Ashdown forest is accompanied by a newer manor house:  Brambletye House, the home of Sir John Compton and his son Jocelyn.  As the novel opens it’s midnight and Compton senior, along with a few friends is quietly ushering a horse- pulled cart through the dark woods, intent upon delivering a cache of arms and gunpowder to the basement of the castle.  The English Civil War is at an end for all practical purposes, but die-hards such as Sir John(vehement royalists) are not abandoning the good fight.  Later, while celebrating their illegal acquisitions at the Swan tavern, word comes that they’ve been denounced to the local Cromwellian forces by dame Lawrence, an embittered old lady who hides in the forest and quotes the Bible at rebels.  Sir John escapes and eventually makes his way to Ostend, but Colonel Lilburne arrests Jocelyn and transports him to London.  Jocelyn is carried to Cromwell’s establishment, where he sees Milton  dictating Paradise Lost and Marvel mumbling over sheets of poetry.  Confined to the Westminster Gatehouse he converses with several jailed actors and dramatists, one of whom (Rookwood) rants to the following effect:  “Oh Huntingdonian brewer base!” exclaimed the former, as he stalked up to Jocelyn with a theatrical air, – “O truculent and most Herodian knave!  O thrice Nerotic Caligulian spawn! -or rather, as may best befit thy lineaments obscene, -O red-nosed Noll! (referring to Cromwell),  is’t not enough that men of full-grown pith, and mighty mind sublime, thy spleenful wrath endure, but must these babes and sucklings yield their blood, and feel the fury of thy festering fang? -Prythee, thou jocund bowman of the woods, youthful concomitant of Dian’s train, for such thy garb and looks may well beseem, why art thou here with musty rogues forlorn, in durance vile and carceration close?  Speak, that mine ear may drink intelligence.”

The little group enlists Jocelyn to play the queen in a production of Macbeth they are staging in the prison courtyard.  But before the drama comes together, the warden discovers Jocelyn dressed like a woman and ousts him out of the prison, assuming she had been there on business.  So he escapes, and by various means, finds his way to Ostend where he re-unites with his father.

Meanwhile, King Charles II has been more or less evicted from France because of his overwhelming debts, and moving his household to Brussels, is met there by Jocelyn and Sir John.  After some under-the -table dealings having to do with the siege of Dunkirk castle undertaken by the Austrians and English (against Spanish forces), Sir John and Jocelyn make their way to Paris where Jocelyn is educated and socialized into French society.  At one point, he runs afoul of the young Duke of Anjou over the mistreatment of a turtle and, befriending James Crofts in the same incident, comes under the aegis of Henrietta Maria, wife of Charles II and Queen of England.  With his newly achieved status, he enters a royal tourney and stages a miraculous performance in unhorsing a powerful German knight in a jousting event.

Cromwell dies and Charles is instated as King.  Jocelyn returns with the royal family and travels home only to find that his father, who had had dealings in Rotterdam, was married to a grasping Dutch hausfrau who was intent on stealing all the money she could get her hands on.

Jocelyn becomes absorbed by London high society, fights a duel and is forced to escape to Europe once more.  He lives for a while in a castle sited in the middle of a swamp, where the chief resident is an apparent madman suffering from rampant paranoia.  Jocelyn falls in love with the daughter, Constantia.  He’s also in love with Julia, the daughter of Adrian Beverning, a rich merchant that both he and his father came to know earlier in Rotterdam.  Before any resolution, however, Jocelyn is recalled to London, as the person he wounded in the duel failed to die.

Jocelyn is appointed secretary to the Queen and becomes even more involved and corrupted by the blatantly immoral royal court, until the plague arises in the city.  Jocelyn catches it but survives and shortly afterwards the Great Fire begins which burns down about 10,000 houses and makes London uninhabitable.  Having become intimate with court life, he attends the trial of one of the judges who sentenced the king to death during Cromwell’s  reign;  the criminal, he discovered, was Constantia’s father, the paranoiac who lived in the swamp.  He manages to die of a heart attack before being sentenced.

Julia had arrived in London with her father and had become involved with several rakish types, Lord Rochester and his fellow nogoodnik, Mark Walton, to her discredit and notoriety.  Jocelyn rescues her from their clutches even though he had seen arm in arm with the Lord,  and her story is revealed to him by Constantia, so that the two are reconciled.  Leaving London and returning to Brambletye, the pair find Sir John, gouty, hag-ridden, and browbeaten by his new wife.

Looking for money, power, and revenge, Mark Walton arrives at a nearby mansion, where he learns from dame Lawrence about the cache of arms hidden in the old Brambletye castle.  They invent a plot in which the plan is to blow up the stash and blame the Comptons for it.  But they forgot that the gunpowder was stored in a cellar underneath the fortification, so they blow up themselves as well as the arms.  Mrs. Compton was so alarmed by the explosion that she dashed out of the house with a box of gold, tripped, fell in the moat, and drowned.

This was for all practical purposes the end of the book, although later events included the marriage of Jocelyn and Julia, and the happy resolution of all the many complications  that had pestered the Comptons and their friends.

This was a much better work than i had expected.  It really reminded me of Peregrine Pickle or Gil Blas.  The descriptions of the London Plague were quite reminiscent of De Foe’s “Journal of the Plague Years”.  And it had that sort of picaresque quality that keeps the reader engaged from one episode to another.  The language was beautiful and effective and, although complicated, the plotting was logical and surprising.  Included were quite a few original songs and period poems from the Ironside Age, as it was termed.   Smith wrote about twenty historical novels and i’d love to find some of them, but i’m afraid they’re impossibly scarce.  i’d recommend this book to any one, especially if they’re interested in the Civil War or that period of history.

TARTARIN IN THE ALPS

Alphonse Daudet,(1840-1897)

Costacalde the gunsmith is a wry, yellowish, feral sort of person, eager to be nominated to the presidency of the Alpine Club.  The current president, long-time resident of Tarascon in southern France is Tartarin, the famous lion-hunter and mountain climber, noted for his ascent of the local hills, some 600′ high.  In order to enhance his social standing and prove himself worthy of being re-elected to the post of president, Tartarin has vowed to conquer the Swiss Alps.

With several associates, he entrains for Lucerne and after a frolicking night of riotous celebration, sets out to conquer Mt. Rigi.  Ignoring the cog railway that takes tourists to the top, Tartarin vows to climb it solo.  He’s so inflated by his success that he dreams of furthering his stature by attempting the Jungfrau, a much more ambitious project with considerable objective difficulties.  As a result of a conversation with an old friend and guide, Jules Bompard, Tartarin has come to the conclusion that the entire Swiss locality is just a business run by the authorities:  the mountains are under corporate control, the hotels have been built to a Disney-like standard, the guides are actors, and finally, that no dangers lurk in the vast glacial slopes and crevasses of the alpine peaks.  So it was with cheerful and insouciant mien that at two o’clock one morning he follows his guides up the lower slopes onto the glacier, cutting steps and blithely ascending the vertiginous cliffs.

Until the little group falls into a hidden crevasse.  With one guide clutching the rope on the slippery surface, Tartarin and the other guide dangle helplessly in space, waiting for the instantaneous demise that surely looms.  Except that Tartarin knows that it’s all just part of the game devised by the business owners and so he experiences no fear whatsoever.  The lower guide manages to cut a few steps in the ice wall, and they haul Tartarin out of the frigid mausoleum, while he makes wise-cracks and joshes with his rescuers.  They finally reach the top of the mountain and after an uneventful descent they return to the hotel to receive the plaudits of their anxious comrades.

Still living in his dream world, Tartarin decides to climb Mt. Blanc.  He and his friends take the train to Chamonix, hire guides and arise at midnight to begin the ascent.  The weather turns ugly, however, and most of the party turns back.  But Tartarin and his friend, roped together, continue to climb until they are trapped in an avalanche.  Swept down the mountain, they cross a sharp salient that severs the rope, so Tartarin falls down the steep slope on one side and Gompard plummets down the other.

Back in Tarascon, Costacalde is just about to be elected president, when (spoiler ahead) who should nonchalantly appear, but Tartarin.  After a miserable night on the mountain, both he and his friend survived the fall and made their ways separately back to Tarascon.  So naturally he’s re-elected and Costacalde slinks off to sulk in his shop.

I’m not positive about Daudet’s intentions in writing this book the way he did, but i have a feeling that he was trying to say something about reality and how most human beings deal with it:  that most of us create our own little worlds and are quite unconscious of the actuality that hangs over us.  And i think his satirical approach often brushes the border of sarcasm, indicating that he had some negative reactions about the Parisien society he lived in.  It was a very funny book in spots, and I thought it was better than the work that preceded it,  Tartarin of Tarascon, in which he travels to Algeria to shoot a lion.  It’s certainly not a monument to deathless prose, but it’s entertaining and humorous.

OLD NICK

Edward Du Bois (1774-1850)

Barclay Temple was the son of a moderately wealthy English land owner in the late 18th century.  He was educated at Eton and Oxford and subsequently led the life of a young waster in the theaters and clubs of London.  His best friend was Keppel von Heim, a nascent lawyer.  One day on the street Barclay was accosted by Gregory, his father’s servant, who had come to the city to apprise Barclay of his father’s illness:  a slight case of consumption.  After more conversation, Gregory admits that the illness might be a little worse than he had indicated; in fact he was dead.

Barclay and Keppel hasten to his father’s house and discover that not only was his father deceased, but three bailiffs were present intending to confiscate the entire property in satisfaction of long-standing debts.  They find out that the elder Temple had been taken advantage of by a shady stock broker who had rifled the estate.  The bailiffs were intent on arresting Barclay but Keppel offers to pay them off and advance whatever monies may be required to set his friend up in life.

The two friends arrange living quarters in the city but soon Barclay becomes depressed over not having work and absorbing his friend’s substance.  Fortuitously he learns of a job available in a small village, helping the wife of a local parson translate the Bible into Hebrew.  After a long eventful journey including fisticuffs in defense of a Quaker and his daughter (fighting being contrary to the precepts of their belief system), Barclay meets Mrs. Pawlet and her husband.  She has been educated by her father to the point that she feels in command of all literary and scientific knowledge.  In fact she thinks of herself as “Mrs. Encyclopedia”.  Her husband the parson is forgiving, tolerant and understanding and loves her just as she is.  Their daughter Penelope is just eighteen and supposedly promised to Keppel in marriage.  But soon Barclay and she fall in love.

The household is invited to a soiree at the parson’s brother’s house.  His name is George and he was one of the passengers on the coach that first brought Barclay to the village.  George’s wife and son and daughter are all musicians and they sneer at the father for his proletarian values.  A local hanger-on is l’Abbe Dupont, a sort of musician/sycophant and scoundrelly type person who manages to secrete himself into the affairs of the parson and his brother.  Following a very loud and bangy concert, the parson and family board their carriage to return home, but the driver (Peter) has over-imbibed and takes the wrong road, ending up on the local Mt. Olympus (so called by Mrs. Pawlet).  Rounding a curve, the vehicle drops a wheel over the edge and catapults the carriage down a cliff into the creek.  Everyone survives, including the horse, but as the toga she had worn to the party was stuck in the frame members of the wrecked carriage, Mrs. Pawlet was forced to lie in the mud for several hours before being rescued.  Possibly as a result she becomes ill and in her attempts to utilize her assumed medical knowledge to doctor herself, she becomes seriously sick and has to suffer the attentions of the local physician, whom she calls a quack, but who cures her in short order.

Gregory appears as the owner/operator of the neighborhood barber shop.  He had transferred himself as servant from the father to the son and was maniacally attached to Barclay.  He was a sort of Harpo Marx type character, full of energy and seriously lacking in discretion, and frequently involved his master in complex and unpleasant predicaments.

Mrs. Buckle comes to visit.  She has been barred the house by Mr. Buckle because smallpox ruined her complexion, and a new lady had taken her place.  In short order, Buckle falls for Penelope while visiting the Pawlets, at the same time that Keppel arrives to join his supposedly future bride.  Through jealousy Keppel, discovering Barclay’s feeling for Penelope (but not Buckle’s), orders the arrest of his friend for debt, so Barclay takes the next stage coach out of town.  Gregory goes with him and they have assorted adventures with bandits and landlords until they reach London on foot.  Gregory manages to support them for a while, utilizing his barber skills, and Barclay writes a play, but ultimately the latter is arrested and thrown into debtor’s prison.  There he begins writing essays and making small contributions to the local magazines and becomes relatively successful.  Finally George Pawlet appears and pays his debts and Barclay and Gregory leave the city.  One night at a remote inn Keppel, still in a tsunami of envy, meets Barclay.  They have a duel and Barclay is wounded.  At the same time, in the same inn, Buckle has absconded with Penelope and while in the process of fulfilling his evil designs, is foiled by Gregory who roundly punishes him;  Buckle feels bad and rejoins his wife, repentant. As the denouement approaches, Penelope is revealed to be Keppel’s daughter, she marries Barclay, and they all live happily…

This book is subtitled “A Satirical Story”.  It’s full of digressions and authorly interventions.  Du Bois stops often interrupts his own story-telling to rant about topics ranging from humor to the classics, to politics and literature, medicine and happiness.  In fact in the introduction to the book he says the title was chosen because the book is full of lies and as Old Nick is a liar, it’s punnishly appropriate.  The novel viewed as a whole was remarkably like a Marx Brothers movie, with characters dashing about and surprising and bizarre events following one another like clockwork.  It was hard to believe that it was published in 1800.  In some ways it was a lot like Tom Jones (Fielding was referred to more than once by Du Bois).

Reading this old three-decker book was a bit of a challenge.  My copy was down-loaded from Internet Archive and was electronically printed by a computer designed for the purpose.  Originally an old black type novel, with f’s being used for s’s, the situation was complicated by the computer not being able to tell the difference between tall letters and short ones.  Here are some examples:  plcafc=please, lbon=soon, liriffnefs=seriousness, ioil=lost, and fpiic=spite.  So it was a struggle to begin with, but got easier as i got used to it.  I saw an article once about how readers can make sense out of a sentence even though most the words were spelled wrong.  This novel was a good practical example of that, although not one i’d care to repeat on a regular basis.  It was fun, though, and the writing was certainly witty, funny, learned, even if occasionally more than off-the-wall.

THE PANCHRONICON

Harold Steele Mackaye (1866-1928)

Rebecca and Phoebe Wise live quiet lives in a small midwestern town, knitting, gardening, and being involved in charity work.  One of the charity cases is Copernicus Droop, the town drunk.  He visits the two ladies one night, perfectly sober and full of plans to get rich.  While sobering up from his last bout with the bottle, he had found himself lying in the local swamp, in the shadow of a large machine-like vehicle with wings.  Even more startling was the occupant:  a man from the future.  Copernicus was invited to enter the conveyance and to go for a ride.  Which he did, soon discovering that he was in an operational time machine.  The two traveled a few years into the past, and the operator caught a cold and died.  Being sober, Droop had found out enough about the machine to make it go, so he went back to his own time and visited the Wises to tell them his great plan.  He wanted to take a phonograph and a camera into the past and reinvent them and get rich.  After a certain amount of arguing, he convinced the ladies to come with him, mainly because Phoebe already was interested in Shakspeare and wanted to learn more about him and Rebecca wouldn’t let her go alone.  Phoebe had letters from Mary Burton, an ancestor from the Elizabethan times as well, and she was not convinced that Shakspeare had written the plays.  She thought maybe Francis Bacon had.

Anyway, they take off in the time machine, headed for the north pole.  Some years before, the man from the future had installed a steel post with a ball on top to mark the spot, as part of the method by which the time machine worked.  The idea, which makes perfect sense and i’m amazed no one has thought of it before, is related to the international date line.  Traveling over the line causes a person to either lose or gain a day.  If one goes to the north pole, it’s very easy to cross the line just by walking around the post, so that circling it one way takes a person into the past and walking the other way moves him into the future.  So, riding in the machine when it’s attached to the pole via a rope, one is only limited by centripetal force as to the speed with which they might advance into the future or the past.  Simple, haha.

Reaching the pole, they connect the machine as referred to above and kick it into gear.  Unfortunately they fall asleep, mainly because Droop discovered a bottle of rye and rendered himself blotto.  The rope connecting them to the post wore through and the car whipped through the ether and landed in a field near London in 1598.  The occupants become separated, Phoebe taking on the personality of Mary Burton and eventually becoming engaged to Sir Guy.  Droop has brought his bicycle along and, clutching the camera and phonograph, pedals to London, experiencing various and sundry hilarious adventures, some of them in concert with a Falstaff wanna-be, while trying to avoid being accused of witchcraft and attempting to get Queen Elizabeth interested in his gadgetry.  Rebecca acts as a sort of lady’s maid to Phoebe.

(Spoilers ahead)  There’s a grand climax at the Queen’s court that results in all three characters being chased by different elements of Elizabethan society back to the time machine which they succeed in entering and flying back to their own era.  Sir Guy goes along and Phoebe and him marry and live happily ever after.  They leave the time machine in the swamp, where it still is, probably.

This is a very funny book.  And enlightening as well, providing a lot of period color re the Elizabethan era, and, insofar as i could tell, a considerable amount of legitimate information as to what the society of that time must have been like.  Mackaye had a lot of fun deriding the idea that Bacon wrote the plays;  Shakspeare was depicted as a sort of low grade actor with not much talent, the kind of person Bacon would never associate with.  Actually, Phoebe, meeting him clandestinely in a garden, recited Jacques “seven ages of man” and Hamlet’s “to be” speeches to him while Shakspeare frantically wrote them down.  I was quite surprised that such a novel could have been written around 1900, until i remembered H.G. Wells.  I wonder if he knew about this book, or maybe it was the other way around…  anyhow, it’s highly recommended and available on Gutenberg…

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