Once again happy aromantic awareness week from the princess of friendship!

i miss having friendships where i could just hold them

where pulling you onto my lap was normal

where we could tuck into

eachother like pieces of a puzzle

but i havent been around people i can hold like that in years

and i havent been around the people i know now long enough to ask

hklding and being held means something different now

it isnt something friends do without other motives

i do not want what is so connected to being cradled now

that is not it

god i just want to be held again

my childhood friend

i still text you

(in my wildest dreams you reply)

you say

(you imply)

hello

(hello)

it's been so long

(I'm sorry i left)

but in this lonely house

(with kids)

i found a time machine

(but no guinea pigs)

let's go back to how it was

(I'll throw away my ring)

when we wore best friend bracelets

(I'm sorry)

and ran over my terrible boyfriend's milkshake

(my boyfriends replaced my friend)

and held hands

(i miss you)

and slept in the same room.

(can you forgive me?)

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That joke was nowhere near funny, why did you laugh?

I don't live this way, but for you I'll walk the whole path.

We can text and talk for hours

We watch movies and mock the actors

We'll go out together, get lost together, and laugh at our stupidity

The conversation flows like a river until it's blocked.

We wave to see each other another day, but in the moment it all stops.

Your smile I hold above any other.

My trust in you I shouldn't care to cover.

But I do. I don't let you know how much you mean to me. Or maybe I've tried.

I've tried and I'm tired.

Your voice is one of my favorites.

To you, is mine just one of many?

I've never met anyone with your kindness. I've never looked forward to someone else's happiness with this much excitement.

I hold you close in my heart, but do you hold me close in your head at all?

Even if I'll never be held as high in yours as you are in mine, you deserve the world. You deserve it all.

I know I'm not the top of your contact list, but I'll always pick up your call.

Your kindness to me is a blessing, the warmth I've never felt.

And I see you give the same warmth to everyone else.

It's okay if I'll never be more than another outlet, another peice in your heart that doesn't stand out.

I'll give my all and everything else to you. As long as you stay- maube just a second more.

aro lyrics idk

Don't tell me I'm too young I don't gotta meet no one I'm not a late bloomer Love don't consume ya Some of us just don't feel it at all

Just because I don't like romance don't mean you gotta fix me I'm out here, living life happily Don't need a relationship to make me feel good I'm who I wanna be Stop trying to change me Not wanting a relationship doesn't mean there's something wrong I've felt like this for so long Don't tell me I'm too young I don't gotta meet no one I'm not a late bloomer, love don't consume ya Some of us just don't feel it all

Since first grade I've seen others talking about their crushes Since third they've been pretending to get married I was never interested, never had a crush But what does that mean when you're still so young? In eighth grade I found the term aro It described me then, it describes me now But everyone I tell is always afraid They think I'm shoving myself into a box They think I'm saying I'm broken They think I need to be fixed They think it's too early to know Don't tell me I'm too young Don't gotta meet no one Not a late bloomer, love don't consume ya, some of us just don't feel it at all

Does that really make me broken I don't think it does Here I'm happy, single and gladly, dating just confuses me If I want to date then I'll feel free But that's not something anyone can force on me Even if I date that doesn't mean I'm lying I'm still aromantic, why can't you see that? Why are you so resistant, is who I am really that bad? Don't tell me I'm too young Don't gotta meet no one Not a late bloomer, love don't consume ya, some of us just don't feel it at all

I feel alone, even around other queer folks Love is love, love is blind Love who you love, love is universal It's all love, love, love, what about me? I'm here too, is that hard to believe? No, I don't need therapy It's not trauma, I'm not broken I need you to understand that I'm just me Don't tell me I'm too young I don't gotta meet no one I'm not a late bloomer, love don't consume ya, some of us just don't feel it at all

A romantic partner isn't "more than" a friend Why do you insist on creating a useless hierarchy Friends can be together til death They can make each other, feel excellent Friends can be so important, they can lift you so much So why are they apparently "less than"? Don't tell me I'm too young I don't gotta meet no one I'm not a late bloomer, love don't consume ya, some of us don't feel it at all

I am me, and like that I am happy I don't need anyone else to complete me I don't need love to feel fulfilled Love isn't what makes us human, if it does what am I? I'm here too, you know And I'm perfect how I am

um if anyone wants to sing this feel free I wouldve but I couldn't figure out a good rhythm

Aspec Playlist

(all of these songs can be found on Spotify, by the way)

“Here” by Alessia Cara (aromantic)

“I Do Not Hook Up” by Kelly Clarkson (some flavor of acespec)

“We’ll Never Have Sex” by Leith Ross (the sex-repulsed alloace anthem)

“Asexual Love” by Lily Summer (alloace, I think, or aroace with a QPR)

“ace song” by Izzie Burton (sex-repulsed alloace)

“Never Been In Love” by Will Jay (aroace)

“Turning Out” by AJR (quoiromantic, arospec in general)

“People Watching” by Conan Gray (cupioromantic and aromantic)

“Turning Out Pt. II” by AJR (aromantic, probably aroace)

“Turning Out Pt. III” by AJR (asexual, either grayromantic or romance-favorable aromantic)

“We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” by Ella Eyre (demisexual)

“Crash Culture” by Conan Gray (sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed aroace)

“I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” by Meatloaf (sex-repulsed alloace)

“Love Song” by Sara Bareilles (against amatonormativity)

“Zero Feelings” by Zoe Clark (aroace, possibly loveless aro)

“Like All My Friends” by Francis Karel (aromantic, cupioromantic)

“Don’t Tell Me” by Avril Lavigne (sex-averse alloace)

“Soulmate” by Lizzo (aroallo)

“Sit Still, Look Pretty” by Daya (aromantic)

“Sex Yeah” by MARINA (against allonormativity)

“Oh No!” by MARINA (loveless aro, or else just aromantic and aplatonic)

“Something That We’re Not” by Demi Lovato (aroallo)

“No Friends” by CADMIUM (aplatonic)

“i think i wanna be alone” by mazie (loveless aro)

“Lemon Boy” by Cavetown (QPR love song)

“You’re My Best Friend” by Queen (QPR love song)

so i had a thought

Am I aromantic, or does my autism cause me to feel like classic “romantic” behaviors are inauthentic and I’m bad at performing them?

Am I aromantic or does the “fun” mutual teasing, the unspoken rules of dating, the ungraspable social game of it all feel terrifying, unintuitive, repulsive, prohibiting?

Am I aromantic, or are the steps just out of order for me?

I do love. Deeply, soul crushingly, intensely, earth-shakingly. I write poetry for my loves, enjoy holding hands with them, sharing my soul with them.

I enjoy living with them, cooking meals together, taking our kid/s to the park together, running errands together. It feels like home.

Am I aromantic if the only kind of love I create feels more like family than fireworks?

Companionship, safety, friendship to the max, affection, maybe even sex (though never necessary), but… somehow it just seems different, queerer, than how people describe their romances.

I do not know where best friend ends and lover begins, if there even is a difference. People insist there is. I have felt euphoria in the development of such friendships, so… are all my friends my lovers? Are my lovers all my friends? We all love each other, but not in the way that’s scary to tell somebody. “Don’t say I love you yet, it’s too early” Scuse you, I DO love them and I WILL tell them, every time I feel it; the ‘I Love You’ will just grow deeper and richer over time, like a plant stretching roots down deep.

But somehow… when I say that, people say that’s different than romance. Weirder.

Maybe the categories are just too narrow for the breadth of the human experience.

Or maybe I’m just aromantic.

Hard tellin.

so anyways

I'd love to hold your hand. I'd love to be casually physically intimate with you. But I can't, because we're just friends.

I'd love to build a future with you. I'd love to adopt you, and perhaps your family, as my family. But I can't, because we're just friends.

I can see it so clearly. I can see the future we could have. But I can't build it with you, because we're just friends.

And friendship is transient, isn't it? We insist on treating romance and marriage like they are permanent, despite the divorce rates, and everyone knows that "friends forever" is just a nice sentiment, while "I do" is permanent. Right?

My friendship cannot be forever, because I can't offer you a ring. I genuinely could, though. If you wanted one. But of course I dare not ask you to wear a ring for me, because we're just friends.

My friendship cannot be forever, because I can't marry you. Can't have children with you. Can't plan a household with you. Can't stake my future on our feelings for each other. Can't, can't, can't ...

It's just friendship. It doesn't matter what I would do for you; all the things I can't do weigh more, don't they.

It doesn't matter how much I love you platonically; the missing element of romance is the only part that really matters, isn't it.

So you'll go and build a future with someone who can give you all the things I cannot, and I suppose we all just agree to ignore all the things that she might not be able to give you that I could.

It's just friendship. You can have it with anybody. Common as muck; deep, intimate, meaningful friendships are just lying around like litter, aren't they? Like dead leaves; lightweight, worthless, easily tossed. Not like romance. Romance with someone you barely know is priceless, right? Every date a gold brick.

No matter how much effort I put into our friendship, and no matter how rare and special I think you are, in the end you'll choose someone else to create your life with, and I'll ...

I can't have romance; do you know that? Do you understand that the thing you have planned your life around is something I can never have nor even comprehend?

Do you realise that this means that friendships are the closest relationship available to me?

Who knows? Who cares? It's just friendship!

people say "just friends" as if to diminish our love

as if to say that friendship isn't beyond and above

as if to take away the intensity of how i feel

yes, we're "just friends" but the bond is so real

i love you, not despite your flaws, but with them all

i love you with more than my heart, it's too small

to contain what i feel for you, i would need miles

to be your best friend and to see your smiles

it fills me with more joy than i can comprehend

and yet they still tell us that we're "just friends"

Day 11642 of my silly aroace brain not fathoming how "friendzoning" is supposed to be bad