Anaconda

LIKES: Fast-Paced Fun Jokes Simple Entertainment Cameos Are Fun The Music Is Enjoyable It's Just Funny Summary: Anaconda is not here to tell a complex story, and therefore, the pace is not working to be this balanced, story masterpiece. It's a brisk pace for the fleeting attention span with loads of flash in the pan elements to give this adventure film that adventurous pace. The simplistic story is supported heavily with comedy and seems to be a jungle of jokes that take the form of many styles. Meta humor is a big card they played, making fun of Hollywood tactics by mirroring those tactics and poking fun at them. Slapstick humor is prominent, often leading to more banter as the cast of middle-aged movie makers pursues various interests in their impromptu trip to the most dangerous jungle in the world. One-liners, clever puns, and nods to nostalgia are all ready and waiting for you in this film, alongside some cameos that may be short-lived, but add their own charm and humor, which I enjoyed the most. Musically, I'm a sucker for a killer track list, and Anaconda is ready to hit you with a lot of styles that are matched with the scenes to levels that again synergize to enhance each other. What's the verdict of the likes... the movie is stupid fun, and in a movie... that works sometimes for just escaping the cruelties in the world. Anaconda is that escape, and with the cast bringing their acting strengths of silliness to full swing, I think you'll have a blast so long as you come in with the expectation of dumb fun and laughs.

DISLIKES: The Plot Is Meh The CGI Needs Work Character Development Needs Work It's Not Scary Lacks A Lot Of Snake Time/Terror Too Silly?

Summary: Just because you might expect a silly film, doesn't mean it doesn't come with limitations for a movie overall. Anaconda's plot is very limited. It's trying to put this new approach to the film, which sort of works, but then tries to integrate a few more serious plot points in the movie that are a distraction, extra, and feel somewhat hastily developed. Character development feels too caught up in the meta humor, and so many of the lines are drenched in the exaggerated presentation and sitcom-level enunciation that it feels even less necessary. It leads to characters that are somewhat one-dimensional, boring, and not so much worthy of investing in outside of the laughs. The CGI needs work, too. Don't get me wrong, they are crafting something I couldn't begin to make, but it also has that cheesy SyFy channel look in animation, textures, and comical anthropomorphic elements. I didn't hate it, and there is a good chance this was the goal, but in this day of technical prowess, not the direction I would go. If you are hoping that you were going to get that horror, adventure, and creature film, then lower the expectations now. This Anaconda tries to bring that hunted element, but it's minimal, drowned out by the comedic delivery element as we get bombarded with joke after joke. Not having that scare/danger element makes this movie boring, and the terror I wanted in some parts felt very minimal. The snake doesn't even get that much time, and the kill count is surprisingly low for a movie of this caliber. Those elements were very much needed, but given the trailers promising such a silly film, I can't say I'm surprised this big snake is more of a comedic guest star to the live-action cast. Thus, was the film too silly that it hurt the movie? I have to say yes.

The VERDICT: Anaconda is a film that promises an escape, and you are getting that escape. It's simple fun, unapologetic in the jokes it unleashes in this barrage of humorous vaudeville of movie-making in the Amazon Rainforest. The songs are fun, the humor is just mind candy, and it moves at a pace that should be very rewarding to a lot of people who don't want to think too hard for a movie. And despite the fun I had, the movie did need to rein in the comedy a bit and try to develop a little more depth to its plots and characters. Anaconda's remake has too many odd attempts at plots, and lacking that hunter element took the excitement out of this series that SyFy had mastered for so many years. Without that thrilling element, so many of the new directions got either stale or felt out of place, leading to a film that feels chaotic, contrived, and diluted to be a holiday release. Would I recommend a theater visit? No, I can't say it is, sadly, unless you just need that escapism. My scores for this film are:

Action/Adventure/Comedy: 6.5-7.0 Movie Overall: 5.5-6.0.

Anaconda (2025) Follows a group of people who adored the original Anaconda (1997) and wanted to recreate something like it, but then while filming in a real island full of snakes, everything goes wrong. Wow, just reading this made me lose my braincells. The movie was pretty funny and had some stupid jokes that still made me laugh, Jack Black and Paul Rudd do a pretty good job and the movie was enjoyable for me. The movie while funny, its not really the the best movie if looking at the plot. The movie felt like it had no plot, it would go from this to that and again to this then going back. Everything else is okay I guess, but if you wanna turn your brain off and watch a pretty enjoyable and entertaining film, Anaconda does that pretty well. (Also if you love this franchise theres cameos)

Anaconda is a decent reboot that works best when it embraces its parody tone. The setup is clean, the CGI snake looks better than expected, and the jungle atmosphere helps sell the danger. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't feature the anaconda as much as it should, and the pacing slows between attacks. The characters are serviceable but forgettable, and the ending is predictable, though intentionally so. Overall, it's a solid but uneven creature feature that's more amusing than thrilling.

The plot was predictable and repetitive, humour was good I will admit. Directors just put Jack black in any movie to disguise the bad plot that hides behind him. Could definitely have been done way better, but this movie just feels like a waste of money and time. Acting was also mediocre, wasted chance.

I suppose I should say at the outset of the review that Anaconda (2025) was intentionally a low-brow, silly film with no aspirations beyond that from the get-go. As such, in a way the flick is to a degree review-proof in terms of a critical assessment. I mean, the whole premise of it is ridiculous, so pointing out plot holes, leaps in logic and the like is sort of futile.

As a movie, Anaconda (2025) is at more than a few times confused as to what kind of film it was trying to be. There's a secondary, supposedly serious subplot involving gold poachers that was woven into the main storyline which I found more distracting than anything else. I found the main plot involving the four lifetime friends now in middle age trying to recapture the failed dreams of their teenage years was a decent-enough premise.

I would agree with other reviewers that as a viewer thinking too heavily about what you are seeing when you watch Anaconda (2025) undoubtedly inhibits enjoying it, so definitely turn your brain off and laugh as one reviewer wisely said.

Even with all that, for myself I didn't find the laughs exactly coming at me hard and fast, comedy being subjective. Part of that may have to do with going way back never having quite purchased a ticket on the Jack Black train in terms of my perception of his comedic ability, and Anaconda (2025) has a LOT of Jack Black front and center. Another part of that may have to do with the many jarring tonal shifts Anaconda (2025) takes throughout, trying to be this sort of wistful, sweet, silly yet at times serious, scary, thrilling Comedy/Action/Adventure hybrid. Anaconda (2025) really doesn't pull this blending of elements off particularly well.

However, I will also say that there were several scenes that did make me laugh out loud and a few sudden scare shots that made me jump. None of which were gut-bustingly funny or on-the-edge-of-my-seat thrilling, but effective enough. In truth, I hadn't wanted to see this flick and as such went into it with very low expectations. By all the criterion I listed above, Anaconda (2025) basically made it over the lowered bar. I saw it yesterday, so I figured I'd write this review today because doubtless come tomorrow I won't even remember having seen it, such is the disposable nature of it. It is what it is and overall a semi-decent one of those.