La croisière mystère

It starts off with two women, Regan and Alvirah arguing about going into a detective business right from the beginning before you even know who they are. They are both friends and will be going on a a Mystery Cruise.

The main characters are "detectives" Regan and Alvirah. Regan is the daughter of the author of mystery books which is sponsoring this cruise which involves a staged murder that the passengers must solve.

The story is confusing. You don't know who the characters are and what their role is accept they are passengers interested in solving a mystery. There are romantic scenes between who knows.

They talk among each other but the scenes change to other characters before I could understand what was going on. The characters all talk fast and discuss past mysteries and the murder on the Mystery Cruise.

In the process of this cruise a female passenger really tries to kill her husband a number of times.

The two women detectives plot to catch the wife that wants to kill her husband after seeing her trying a couple of times. The husband has no idea his wife of 5 years has been trying to kill him.

I think this was a pilot episode. It is nothing like other detective series like Murder She Wrote, Miss Marple or more. The way the story is written stinks.

Too many characters, most unknown and what their role is. It has some good qualities a little humor no swearing or sex.

All you have to do is watch "Deck the Halls" and the casting for that movie. Scottie Thompson (Regan), Kathy Najimy (Alvirah), Larry Miller (Willie), David Selby (Luke), Jane Alexander (Nora), etc. The actors in this movie just seem miscast to me but that is only my opinion.

Whilst Regan Reilly is already a private investigator her best friend, Alvirah Meehan wants to get in on the act and draws Regan in to rescuing a dog for a wealthy socialite. But Regan and Alvirah are heading off on a three day cruise organized by Regan's mum, a successful mystery writer, to promote her latest novel and all the guests are fans as well as amateur detectives who are there to take part in a murder mystery weekend at the same time. But Alvirah thinks there may be a real killer aboard and along with Regan they are going to work together to work out who it is before someone ends up murdered for real.

Adapted from Carol and Mary Higgins Clark's Santa Cruise novel, this is a fair to middling mystery set on a cruise. Our two heroines are out to prevent a real life murder amidst the fictional one. It's slow-paced in the first half, picks up in the second. The acting is good, especially by Gail O' Grady, and it's amusing at times, but the set-up of the characters and the plot isn't too strong. Not great by any means, but passable enough for a rainy day.

'The Mystery Cruise' (2013)

Opening thoughts: Despite how this may sound, there is absolutely no personal bias against the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries films. And this reviewer was certainly not expecting to hate 'The Mystery Cruise' from the get go. Have actually been pleasantly surprised by quite a number of Movies and Mysteries films, particularly the more recent films, and absolutely loved the premise and its potential mix of 'Clue' (one of my favourites) and Agatha Christie (my favourite author).

'The Mystery Cruise' just didn't deliver on most levels. Actually failing terribly on the most crucial areas. It is not quite one of the worst Hallmark Movies and Mysteries films, as nothing here actually insulted my intelligence like too many of the later ones have. But considering how great the premise was and as someone who has always loved the mystery genre, it is up there with the biggest missed opportunities with more bad things than good. Not a complete waste, but not good at all.

Good things: Did think that there were good things here. Larry Miller is dependably solid in his role, it is not an unfamiliar type of role for him (can understand where a previous reviewer is coming from when saying it would have been even more impressive if he playes against type) but he plays it with real engaging preaence and is the only actor who seems to know what sort of film he is in.

Also thought that some of the scenery and lighting was suitably moody and atmospheric.

Bad things: Nothing else works sadly. The rest of the actors go through the motions and generate very little personality or ease. The two leads look bored and their chemistry is disconnected. Didn't care for any of the characters, who are little more than severely under-developed genre archetypes wandering in and out. They are also so poorly introduced that most of the first third was spent trying to find out who was who.

Moreover, 'The Mystery Cruise' is very unimaginatively shot, indifferently directed (indicative of inexperience or someone not hugely familiar with the genre) and the choppy editing gives a confusingly choppy sensation. The script is mundane at best and doesn't flow very well, some of the latter parts on the melodramatic side and the attempts at cuteness and light-hearted-ness mostly felt out of place. The story jumps around a lot, takes a while to get going, plods in pace, lacks severely suspense and has too many turns that are predictable and under-explained. The beginning is one of the worst for any film seen in a long time, not just confusing but actually incoherent and reminiscent of a defective DVD skipping constantly, which made the film feel constantly choppy and incomplete.

Closing thoughts: Overall, very weak and underwhelming.

3/10.

If you enjoy murder mysteries, you'll enjoy this movie. It does tend to move at a slow pace at times, as well as jump around to numerous characters. It's hard to keep track of what's going on or who people are, unless you pay attention. Especially since the characters are actually playing characters within the game. Lol This movie felt like it should've been a mini series instead. I think it would've worked a lot better and allowed the audience to better know the characters. Plus, we would've been able to see more mysteries solved by the best friend duo.