The Asian Connection

An American action thriller; A story about two expatriates living in Thailand who go to Cambodia to steal a drug lord's money. The best thing about the film is the glowering nature of Steven Seagal who looks like an illegitimate son of "Dr No". The indeterminate nefariousness of his crime lord outfit is beguiling. Alas, the film has a very poor script and the characters are too feintly sketched for the viewer to get behind any of them. Nevertheless it does have a throughline of pure action and a good plot. It just has a look and feel of tackiness.

I really thought that the inclusion of MJW would hopefully lift this slightly higher than expected. Sadly he is unseen but for a fleeting scene in which his role could have been played by any random crackhead.

The whole thing is so poorly acted and scripted not to mention directed that it really comes down to a D grade action flick built around Sensei Seagal playing patty cake in his pj's (yet again) and delivering even worst dialogue than usual. Even giving him the opportunity of playing a bad guy for a change seems too much like hard work for the Sensei who dials in one of the lamest performances from him yet. Maybe his lethargy is a result of being squeezed too tightly into his Spanx.

Perhaps the worst offender in this mess is Director (and I use that term very loosely) Daniel Zirilli. He continues his rise towards mediocrity with another typical example of his very obvious limitations.

Watch only if you absolutely must, but don't say you weren't warned.

This will be a cult classic purely on how bad it actually is.

Some of the worst acting you'll ever see. John Edward Lee; first off, who the hell is he? I've never seen a stiffer, unnatural and generic actor who thinks overacting will hide the fact he cannot act and has no natural bond with any of the other stiff actors. Pim Bubear is so cliche in her role, her lines and her overall performance, it's not worth talking about.

Seagal was just brilliant. Obese, old, slow and stupid, yet has the respect and fear of all those around him. His fight scenes are a thing of beauty, if you ignore that you never see below his shoulders where a fat, bloated body is hardly moving and cannot keep up with basic choreography. His comedic timing was on point where he was able to knock a professional MMA fighter out with a kick with so little power that it wouldn't score a goal from the goal line, and Seagal's physical inability to lift his leg higher than 1" off the ground. Or there was when Seagal flipped a table over in anger using so little power, you could clearly see if was inflated... but that's the joke, right?

If neither of those make you laugh, then the tacky one-liners after an action scene will give you stomach muscles a good workout. "Guess playing all those video games paid off?" "The fish is the most sentient of animals" Or the random droppings of F bombs by Seagal when there was no other swearing in the movie.

I guarentee this will be a cult classic in years to come due to the cliche plot, bad acting and all-round Steven Seagal presence turning an intended action movie into a cult comedy classic.

First of all, I turned the film off. I simply could not watch the entire fiasco. The acting was so amateurish that it was laughable. How old was Jack's girlfriend? All of seventeen? Where do they find the actors for these disasters? But to make matters worse, the three minute segments with Steven Seagal who is way too old and out of shape to be in all these action films he so call stars in. I watch these films to see just how much worse they can get. This one certainly met my expectations.

The Asian Connection (2016)

1/2 (out of 4)

Jack (John Edward Lee) and his buddy are in Asia where they rob a bank. Jack plans to use the money on his girlfriend (Pim Bubear) who he loves very much. However, what he doesn't know is that he is actually robbing from Asian crime lord Sirankiri (Steven Seagal). Soon Jack is forced into robbing even more banks and now the police are after him as well as Sirankiri.

This is the first Seagal movie I've seen since his 1997 film FIRE DOWN BELOW. I knew that the actor had gone into the direct-to-video craze but I honestly just wasn't big enough of a fan to check out all of these movies. THE Asian CONNECTION grabbed my attention because I read some really negative reviews on it so I decided to check it out myself.

There's no question that the awful reviews were right on the mark because this is a pretty darn bad movie no matter how you look at it. Obviously it was done on a very low-budget but the problem is that it's so poorly made that you just get bored by all of it. The direction by Daniel Zirilli is certainly a major issue because the action scenes all look horrible and there's not a single moment where the film contains any energy or excitement.

Another problem is that you certainly don't care about any of the main characters. The love story subplot between Jack and his girlfriend is laughable at times and even everything with Seagal is pretty bland and boring. John Edward Lee's performance is also quite bad and it appears Seagal is just picking up a paycheck as he does very little with his role.

THE Asian CONNECTION is a really bad movie that doesn't have a thing going for it.