Sniper: Special Ops

I've never knowingly watched a Steven Seagal movie before and I came into this one 5-10 mins after the start on late-night TV, so I didn't recognize him in the dark glasses and - as somebody else has pointed out here - expanded waistline. I quickly became mesmerized by it, simply because I couldn't believe that anybody really makes movies this bad any more. I thought I must be tripping.

For a start off, as we all know, according to that Paul Hardcastle song, the average age of the combat soldier in Vietnam was 19. According to Sniper: Special Ops, the average age of the combat soldier in Afghanistan appears to be about 59. The commanding officer in particular, played by actor Dale Dye who is in his 70s, looked monstrously miscast.

Then the guy in the dark glasses - presumably the sniper of the title and as I later discovered, played by Seagal - has to get up and get some water. He's behind enemy lines, there are potential snipers behind every wall, IUDs etc, and yes, I know he's hard and frightened of nothing, but wouldn't he have displayed just a little caution in walking around, instead of looking like he's strolling down to the neighborhood 7-11? I found myself yelling at the TV "you're an actor! Why don't you ACT?" Then I found out it was that famous and popular actor with the dozens of movies to his name, Steven Seagal. Wow.

That's 84 minutes of my life I will never get back. Though I must admit I did get a bit of a giggle out of it.

Yet another in a long succession of horrible straight-to-video movies by Seagal of late. At least there were no CGI bullet holes in this one. What I don't understand is why producers can't hire a decent military consultant when shooting a war movie. Jeff Bosley (Doc) is a Green Beret, how he didn't die laughing during the filming is beyond me. Firearm handling is absolutely ridiculous, Rob Van Dam clearly has never fired a long gun before in his life. Charlene Amoia, who claims to be an "expert marksman" holds a pistol like it's a personal massager (wink-wink).

You see an assortment of optics on the team's rifles (ACOG, Aimpoint, Eotech) but the funniest is a tiny RDS on Segal's rifle that has superimposed hash marks when looking through it in Seagal's first- person view. Absurd.

Overall, horrible low-budget B-flick with bad story, horrible acting and a huge number of blunders. Save yourself some time and DO NOT watch it.

Yet another non-action movie featuring fat Seagal in a minor role.

After a decent opening scene, things go flat for almost the entire remaining runtime where the plot involves a group of soldiers and an annoying reporter trying to rescue Steven Seagal and his sweaty wounded friend. As other reviews mention, Seagal basically sits in a chair for most of his brief runtime. The soldier group cast is believable and likable, but the endless scenes of them talking or arguing with the reporter get stale.

Sleaze director Fred Olen Ray has almost exclusively done quickie lifetime Christmas movies in the past years and seemingly decided to shoot this on a desert movie ranch during a free week.

Featuring only three shootout scenes and a lot of talking, Sniper: Special Ops is doomed to simply be a slot-filler on daytime tv. Only for the die hard Seagal fans (do any really exist?!)

Top billed Seagal who is so fat, he can only sit and stand, while his words are meant to sound tough only come across as out of breath from doing nothing. Movie is slow paced with lots of gunfire.

Segal and a gang of old hairy special ops get caught in Taliban fight an dfight and fight and then report to a colonel old enough to have fought at gettysburg! And a girl with baby who is daughter of Taliban cheif and more fighting and more moe fighting and Seagal mumbles hi sway through it all and men are dying left and right and up and down and... Oh dear this really is a boring film. I stayed watching to end because my neighbours had a party and I couldn't go to bed.