Honey Don't!

I just finished watching Honey Don't, and honestly, I left the theater scratching my head. The whole experience was a strange mix of sad, pointless, and-if I'm being blunt-sometimes flat-out boring. It felt like the film was trying to say something profound, but the tone was so off that it missed its mark entirely.

I truly don't know what audience they were aiming for. Too heavy-handed to be light drama, too scattered to be meaningful, and too dull to be entertaining. Characters drifted through scenes without much purpose, and while the story had the bones of something emotional, it never built to anything worth caring about.

The pacing didn't help either. There were long stretches where I caught myself checking the time, waiting for something-anything-to happen. Instead, it kept circling back to the same dreary mood that never paid off.

In the end, I can see why the studio released this movie in the dead zone of late August, right before Labor Day weekend. It feels like one of those "let's just get it out there and move on" kind of releases. Honey Don't isn't the worst film I've ever seen, but it's definitely one I won't be remembering-or recommending-anytime soon.

This is a movie that very literally has no point. At any given point in time there are 3 plots circulating around it. Plot #1 what honey is doing, which seems to be some kind of version of being a P. I. but not really doing much in the way of investigating besides for getting nowhere fast with it. #2 What the pastor is doing, from what I can see he's got something shady going on which is a mix of some sort with his sex based church. And #3 the actual movie plot which is anyone's guess since there's no real way to make heads or tails of it. And that's about it. I wish I could tell you that they all run together in the end and make some grand reveal, they don't.

5/10 good acting, no idea what these plots are suppose to be, this is something to watch if you're bored and want to waste some time.

Well the trailer made it look pretty intriguing, but upon watching this latest effort from half of the Coen Brothers (Ethan), I'm afraid it's another disappointing bust!

I actually found it rather apt that gorgeous rising star lead Margaret Qualley has a bemused, confused look on her face throughout the entire flick... because I felt exactly the same!

While the piece retains some well known Coen hallmarks (good cinematography, sharp editing, decent music and many typically oddball characters), it seriously lacks more important elements. The usual dark humour is sorely lacking, the dialogue isn't as sharp, the script is a mess and the final pay-off is a major letdown.

Indeed, only Qualley and Aubrey Plaza come out of the overly woke sexually charged Coen-carnage with any performance credibility, while a miscast Chris Evans and the rest of the supporting cast are as hollow and throwaway as the lacklustre screenplay.

In truth, it's been far too long since either of the brothers have hit a 'HoF' homerun (No Country for Old Men in 2007!), and this is yet another strikeout for the undenable Hollywood legends who hardly put a foot wrong between 1984-2001! We live in hope (barely) of another 'Barton Fink', 'O Brother Where Art Thou' or 'Fargo' but I think it's been way too long now, they're done... Sad times.

Just about every scene from the trailer that lured us to the theatre was bogged down with emotionless, carefree scene-ploitation of Honey's polygamy as the centerpiece. While Margaret's acting isn't lackluster, the supporting motif and cast didn't add anything to this soulless film.

Ultimately, not a great film despite its' old school backdrop, and 1/2 of the Coen brothers in the director's chair (notice the lower case 'D'). At one point during the film, I asked myself if I cared about any of the characters or Honey's plight... My answer was a resounding, "Nope. I don't care about a single character in this empty shell of a film."

Say what you will about the Coen brothers. I usually don't. But at least you can tell when a movie is made by them. This one you can't, aside from the usual gratuitous violence.

Chris Evans sermon is quite funny, and it's by far the best scene in the film. Most scenes he's in warrant a laugh at some point, but nothing else in the movie (labeled a comedy somehow) is funny. Has Ethan never talked to a human before? I do not know how the actors got through one take without laughing. The writing is atrocious and non-sensical. The movie as a whole felt like Ethan Coen was personally offended that 40's hardboiled detective movies didn't have enough lesbians, floor brains, and genital references, and that it was his job to reconcile that. Aubrey Plaza is one of the best actresses working today and her performance was cringe inducing. Margaret Qualley was doing a xanaxed Humphrey Bogaert impression and my goodness if these actors had had any level of self awareness that they were in a terrible movie and leaned into it, it could have been funny. They played it so straight (gay) to yawn-inducing results. Has to be one of the worst ensemble performances in recent memory. The movie doesn't crack 90 minutes even with a 7 minute long dialogue-free opening and over 5 minute long credits. I do not know how they can get away with selling a ticket to that in theaters. You are not given enough time to learn or care anything about these caricatures, though it's so inept at establishing any premise that even if we got 4 hours of this it would just be multiplying a fraction by 2 over 2. Sure the number is different, but it still means the same thing.

Honey, you got a big storm comin!