The Painter

I was hoping this was one of those movies where the trailer was the only good part of the movie - but alas, that was not the case with this one.

This theme has been done a million times and it's overdone; they couldn't even hold our interest for the whole movie.

Sooooo many things don't make sense in this film - you don't even have to be that familiar with law enforcement to know what they're trying to do is ridic and would never actually take place.

Casting of the 'Bureau Chief' in particular was so horrifically bad in all ways, we couldn't stop laughing (so there WAS a bright spot, I guess). And even Voight, who has made some amazing movies was robotic and boring; takes a special kind of BAD to ruin a movie that should be fairly simple to make these days.

Aside from this being nothing new or original, it's a poorly written and directed effort with corny dialogue and laughable action scenes.

In the early stages, we are meant to believe that a criminal of some importance has a security team made entirely of imbeciles that can't fight. They're so bad in fact, that a single man who moves slowly can defeat them all. Perhaps part of the reason for this is that, when one of the bodyguards is fighting with the hero, all the others become paralysed and only regain the ability to move when it's their turn to throw a punch 3 yards from his head. Throw in the odd embarrassingly bad commando roll that wouldn't look out of place in a 4 year olds gymnastics class and there you have it.

But that isn't all this cinematic masterpiece has to offer. No, it also has highly trained operators armed with assault rifles that couldn't hit a barn from 5 yards away. If those are the people that are meant to keep us safe, then we are doomed as a child with a catapult would make a more effective fighting force.

Finally, we come to the twist and the last bit of dialogue, which is delivered with all the emotional intensity of someone reading their gas bill out loud.

Consider this my favour to you - I have watched it so that you don't have to.

I think this might be the first time I could be bothered to write a review but...did it pass the time and I kind of followed what was happening? Yes. Was it enjoyable? No. This is what I imagine AI would spit out, direct and costume design (the set design and even cinematography were not bad tbf). There was nothing original in this film plot, but it wasn't satire or parody or even ironic, and it was INCREDIBLY moronic (at one point a computer virus in a flash drive goes up....in flames....). It was awful, but not so disruptively bad for the evening which I gave away to other tasks that I turned it off (there are your 2 stars), but somehow annoying and predictable enough to also be distracting -- and to make me write this review. Don't watch it. It's not bewildering, it's just bad.

"The Painter's" resembles a TV show canceled after its pilot, as it struggles with a weak plot and underdeveloped characters. Just as such shows may struggle to resonate with viewers, the film leans heavily on the prowess of its three main actors (father,daughter,grandfather) to compensate for narrative shortcomings. Unfortunately, even their stellar performances can't fully redeem the lack of substance in the storyline. The film, like an unsuccessful pilot, leaves audiences yearning for a more engaging and well-rounded cinematic experience."

Verdict: "The Painter's" falls short, earning a less-than-enthusiastic assessment. Its weak storyline and underdeveloped characters make it less appealing than even a depressing wall staring competition, leaving viewers with a lackluster cinematic experience.

I think a few days ago this piece of stink was rated around 8 stars. What nonsense, this is barely a movie. I don't think there was a script. I think everyone kind of figured it out as the shooting of the film progressed. It's so badly made. I'll make a point to look this director up so I can avoid wasting more time in the future. Dude has a future with Asylum doing Transmorpher sequels. The lead actor can't act, even when he doesn't have to say anything. He can't act hurt, injured, upset, sane, or anything. From his face, you'd think he had no clue he was in a movie until after the premier. It's bad guys. Watch something else. This is almost a Neil Breen movie. I guess if I watched it with friends, it would be one of those so bad it's good movie. Critical redundancy :'(