Asylum

Strange film this.It starts with 2 editors trying to cut a horror movie from footage from a shoot in some fictional foreign country. What follows is that you see the entire horror movie with a Mystery Science Theater 3000 type comical voice over by the two editors. The film itself looks like a work-print with captions for missing effects etc. There's a couple of cuts to a side story with the editors but this probably only accounts for about 5 minutes of screen time. What ruins this film is the actual horror movie looks watchable whilst the editors are irritatingly unfunny. The production values in the horror movie seem quite decent whilst the editor sections are amateur hour. Its just a pity we couldn't see the horror movie and lose the editors voice over.

Asylum, there have to be a dozen films by that name. It kind of makes you wonder why they bother, is it so hard to come up with something original?

This one however is very memorable, though I'm not entirely sure for the best reasons.

Imagine a really quite dire horror movie starring Bruce Payne and Stephen Rea with a side story about the movies creation and comedy narration over it similiar to Mystery Science Theatre 3000. That's what this movie is, and it's totally bizzare.

So it tells the story of a swat team who are tasked with going into an Asylum and the whole thing is dreadful from plot to the actors who range from bad to bored. The saving grace is the narration and truth be told some of it is genuinely hilarious.

But it's not so good to make this a watchable 90 minutes, the movie itself is really damn bad but the narration mocks it every step of the way and often speaks exactly what you're thinking.

It's hard to identify who this is aimed at, all I can say is that it isn't a horror and does have enough comedy to make it watchable.........barely.

The Good:

Some genuine laughs

Caroline Ford

The Bad:

Bruce Payne

SO many films called Asylum

Plot is a mess

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Chris Brown jokes, still funny

I will not be able to look at Stephen Rea again without thinking lesbian Bob Dylan

If an ally gets pulled into a fridge by unknown forces.........shoot the fridge

I've used IMDb for years now, and have suffered through many a terrible movie during those years. This is the first comment I've made. This is certainly one of the top three worst movies I have ever seen in my life--probably number one.

Have you ever watched a flick with one of those friends that talks and makes stupid jokes throughout the whole thing? Did you enjoy that? No? Then you won't enjoy this movie. Imagine that friend, only a million times worse. It is... I can't even think of a word. I'm inclined to create a new word to describe just how terrible this flick is. My head hurt after watching it from all the brain cells that committed suicide.

Do not watch this. Don't even read any more reviews on it. If you took the time to read this one, you have already wasted too much time on Asylum. It's not even ironically bad. There is nothing that redeems this flick. The director should be exiled and barred from even thinking of producing something that a human being might see.

Called out to an insane asylum, a SWAT team and their lead negotiator manage to find themselves in a much bigger struggle than they expected when they find a possessed soul from their past catching up to them and must find a way of saving themselves.

This one wasn't all that bad of a horror parody that does have some solid moments to it. The film's central premise of the cutting crew watching the footage and then commentating on the material as a type of commentary track ripping and poking fun of the material present is quite funny and enjoyable for the most part, as once you get used to it there's plenty of great quips that emerge from their work. That they're kept off-screen and spend the majority of the time just doing quick little one-liners that poke fun of the situation in truly great manners with them pointing out absurdities in the story, riffing on the goofiness present and really just having a fun time ripping it to shreds in a really enjoyable manner. When they're not quipping at the movie, there's some more good fun to be had at the type of utterly cheesy type of film this originally was as the concept of the SWAT team sent to a rioted asylum and coming across a more supernatural presence than they expected which allows for the film to go for the crazy unbelievable type of set-ups that can't possibly happen in a real scenario as the sudden antics of the deranged, possessed individuals running around at inhuman speeds or jumping around for impossible abilities gives this a rather creepy vibe that makes for a typically creepy offering. There's a wide array of confrontations here that throw them into the fun action scenes of them finding the possessed maniacs in the asylum, the great series of pop-up attacks in the small rooms of the asylum or the big action scene in the boiler room where they encounter the possessed in the hallway for the shootout that turns out to be a ruse with the dead coming back under the possessed's command and then spilling the entire plot line gives this a rather enjoyable series of action scene here with a lot to enjoy. This one also manages to work out a solid finale that's even more fun with the fire-filled church and the gathered minions making for a wholly enjoyable finale that's really fun in a rather cheesy manner that gives this the biggest flaw overall. The cheesiness and utterly obvious low-budget attempt here on display is rather distracting rather than appealing when almost every scene is marked with what needed to be added to the finished scene that are so continuous and part of so many scenes here that it really doesn't get the full effect of what's going on. It just makes this feel all the more cheesy and corny that makes for a rather goofy time here beyond the film's running commentary vibe that runs throughout here that might turn some off completely. Otherwise, there's not a whole lot really wrong here.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and Brief Nudity.

The plot

An eleven-person riot squad races to an insane asylum to quell a recent inmate outbreak and hostage situation.

They arrive, only to be caught off guard by a sudden barrage of insane patients.

When they've finally fought off a wave, two of their squad members are missing, their communications return only static, and the doors are locked.

They're trapped.

They break up into three teams to track down the lost members.

Strange sounds and religious iconography suggest something beyond insanity has taken over the inmates.

Sure enough, a simple rescue mission quickly morphs into relentless life or death battles with possessed.

When McGahey, a trained, rational hostage negotiator, discovers the ringleader of this possessed insanity is none other than his brother, it falls on him to stop nothing less than the opening of a portal to Hell.

This is one bizarre movie.

It's sort of like Mystery Science Fiction Theatre. Very hard to describe and follow.

It starts out with a priest and then cuts to these guys who appear to be editing or adding special effects to a movie.

The rest of the movie shifts back and forth between the asylum and voice over of these two editors making dumb funny comments about the movie which, BTW was supposed to be found footage, and the producer back in the US.

It's nearly impossible to watch. Nothing makes sense.

Stephen Rhea has really dropped into the abyss.

Words cannot describe how bad this movie is.