The Coven

This film is so bad it's good!! The acting is as wooden as a stick, and that's saying something. I have watched some bad films before and this does not compare. With no real story line and the plot is as basic as 2+2. I would recommend this however, seeing as my friends and I laughed all the way through it was very funny!! The girls on the cover don't even feature in the film. Talking about the cover, we believe that this is where the budget was used (to gain the shiny case) as the special effects were pathetic. It kind of resembles 80's graphics but worse. Truly awful, but hilariously entertaining!! Do watch if you have a spare 1.5 hours.

(Not really a 15, it's a PG but they say b****** and d*** a few times)

DO WATCH IT!!

where to start.. Not sure why anybody would think it was a good idea to film this... Even after film completion why on earth was it released I've no idea.. This film was just .... absolutely dreadful.. i had to turn it off somewhat through..

it was so bad i literally couldn't bare it =|..

there was 1 or 2 actors that were okay, the rest were real bad .. the storyline OR lack of it was unwatchable and the glowing eyes were hilariously ridiculous.

pretty much impossible to put into words how bad the film was, afterwards i had to watch sponge-bob square-pants to revive myself.. luckily, i live to tell the story today =)

Really, this is a dire film. The story could have been good, but the implementation was well below par.

All the Mackie twins did throughout the film was mumble their lines (so much so much of what they said was incomprehensible) and obviously try to avoid eye contact with the camera. Absolutely no acting skill whatsoever. Obviously they were cast because it seems their mother and father made the film - as was another member of the family.

The only credible bit of acting from the young cast was from Madeleine Rose Witney who plays Izzie. She is good, and if it were not for her acting skill there would be no interest whatsoever in continuing watching the film to the end.

Dexter Fletcher played his part well, as did the other adults, with the exception of Magda Rodriguez - she was awful.

The story had potential but was very lacking in continuity or substance. We sort of get the idea of what the film is going to be about - and that is it. There is no pulling of the viewer deeper into the story as the film progresses. A bit of an introduction in the classroom and that is it. The viewer spends the rest of the film wondering how the initial story relates to dumb teenagers camping in an urban wood - saying fairly dumb things.

Then there is the 'mysterious biker' in the woods. The character makes no sense other than to corral the teenagers. There is no explanation of why he or she is present or their connection to the coven.

There is one mystery. How did the producers manage to spend an estimated £615,000 on this trashy production! Film students could (and have on many occasions) done a much better job on virtually no budget.

Overall a very, very poor film. It is worse than 'The Hospital', and that was a film I thought was the worst I would see for a long time.

I hope none of the Mackie clan are allowed near a film unit or a typewriter again if this is the sort of dross they produce. Grange Hill with Neopagan mythos strewn clumsily throughout was the end result. Dexter Fletcher's turn and the stunning Magda Rodriguez as the sinister Mrs Belial are about the only saving graces in this steaming heap of dross. All in all you'd be better off watching some old Dramarama episodes on You Tube or Children of the Stones than this rubbish if you're looking for a real British chill. It is a shame as there is so much potential in ancient British Pagan folklore which film makers only seem to totally make a total hash of.

...as an example of why nepotism needs to be completely eradicated for the good of humanity.

Watching this, I found myself wondering why whoever was in charge of the casting for this film had hired 3 kids with no acting ability whatsoever alongside a bunch of noticeably more competent actors.

Cynically I thought to myself "meh, the kids in question are probably related to the casting director or something". So as soon as this dreadful film finally came to an end, I popped onto IMDb to check if my suspicions were correct.

Indeed they were, in fact it seems this entire film was something of a family project; the director being John Mackie, the writer being Jayney Mackie, and the three similarly talentless kids being Cloe Mackie, Holly Mackie, and Billy Red Mackie. Oh and there's even a Rory Mackie listed as the "digital imaging technician".

A crappy film is one thing, but depressingly this also reflects one of the biggest problems we face as a species in this day and age: many people performing the most important jobs in the world are only there because of family connections and inherited wealth, titles and opportunities, rather than getting there on their own merit.

So thank you to The Mackie Family for spearheading this deepest of social problems that our world is currently riddled with; I realise it wasn't your intention to do so, but your efforts illustrate beautifully why this rigged and unjust system needs to be destroyed by any means necessary.