Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby

1. For Cinematography. 2. For great body parts. 3. For Bruce Dern.

Anything else you can add....please do. I like watching movies. I like Horror, Sci-Fi and the unspecified Weird Stuff. I will watch a movie just because someone put a story (I hope) into film.

With all that being said....I can't say much else for Coffin Baby. The plot or the title got lost somewhere. To contradict myself....there is a plot. But it is so basic it will inevitably put one to sleep. The victim needs something....can't put my finger on it....oh yes, I have no fingers. Don't get me wrong...I love weird, but this is not that kind of movie. The shades of gray are a good touch. But then early on into the movie one realizes that shades of gray and another body is all one is going to get. I can't possibly spoil the movie with this review. You will have to watch and see for yourself. I've seen bad movies. If you're like me...you will sit down and watch it just to say you did it. That will be the end of the story.

Bruce Dern is Bruce Dern...he can't play a bad role. I just like the guy because he creeps me out just being on film. I seem to be the first to review Coffin Baby. Looking forward to jumping back from time to time and see who watches the film and who comments....and what they say. Please don't hesitate to jump in here. Hmmmmmm...finger lickin' good......Q(:-}

Toolbox Murders 2 (2013)

What passes for the film's plot is simple on the page but convoluted and messy on screen where it makes no real sense at all. For the most part the film concentrates on one poor young woman's horrific plight as she is caged in a serial killer's gloomy abode. There are flashbacks and supernatural elements none of which seem to make much sense and just add to confusing what should have been a straight forward exercise in exploitation. Rather than make a pig's ear of trying to explain things I'll hand over to the film's writer and director Dean C Jones who details the plot as below.

Hollywood, California is turned upside down by a series of strange and horrific murders creating chaos and turmoil in tinsel town. One particular victim, Samantha Forester (Chauntal Lewis), is kidnapped, held captive and subjected to witness the torture and murder of numerous other victims. It is by her will, strength, and faith that she must survive the ordeal. Her escape seems hopeless and only worsens when outside supernatural forces become more difficult to contend with than her captor.

This alleges to be a sequel to Tobe Hooper's reasonable 2004 remake of the 1978 cult favourite The Toolbox Murders bringing back that film's killer Coffin Baby for another stab at a franchise. Quite how two-time Academy Award nominee Bruce Dern (as Vance Henrickson) was convinced to star in this muddle will remain a mystery although to be fair, and possibly to Dern's relief, he's barely in it five minutes. The same applies to the film's other recognisable face Brian Krause, starring as Detective Chad Cole, who appears and disappears quickly from proceedings.

Originally shot back in 2011 Toolbox Murders 2 had additional footage added by the director, unbeknownst to the studio, following a poor festival reception and was retitled called Coffin Baby. This was independently released in 2013. Due to legal issues it is only now that the film can be released as Toolbox Murders 2 and here it is. From the Se7en style opening credits (it's like twenty years now since that film opened and people are STILL imitating it, enough already) through to its nonsensical ending Toolbox Murders 2 is more of an ordeal for the viewer than it is for the leading lady. So much about this film irks, rather than entertains, its audience from huge gaps in logic - how come not one cop sees Samantha taken from the police car - to how clean Samantha remains in such a hell-hole given the period of time she is incarcerated.

I was also rather perplexed by how it is not one person has ever spotted where our serial killer lurks and works. It's not like the building he takes his victims to be off the beaten track; in fact it looks rather localised. Perhaps our killer needs to be near the local amenities; after all he does need to pick up a nice bottle of wine and cooking condiments to add to the taste of his victims. It would also explain where he managed to find such a lovely fresh flower to offer to Samantha as the only nice gift he thinks to give her.

Toolbox Murders 2 feels thrown together rather than edited with any sense or meaning. The acting is miserable and the film is ultimately pointless. Gore-hounds will get off on the decently handled make-up effects - a victim sawn in half is a particular highlight - but otherwise this is a resounding dud. You'll get more satisfaction out of watching a clock tick away for an hour and a half than you will from watching this and I rather wish I had.

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For the last 10 years or so, there has been an emergence of films that fall under the "Rob Zombie" brand of movie-making, brazenly dedicating themselves not to story, plot, effective special effects or even shock, but instead focus themselves on a simple depraved formula: blood, pain, gore and torture.

There is really precious little that this film offers besides blood, pain, gore and torture. For the first half of the film, it barely even offers that! The acting is hamfisted at best, the filming is barely above amateur. Something vaguely resembling a plot is inserted at various parts of the film, but is so poorly conceived that it is hard if not impossible to follow. And if I could follow it, it's so idiotic that I wouldn't want to believe that any movie maker would be so simpleminded as to think that this would make a good film.

The makers of "Coffin Baby" make the mistake that ALL of the makers of these types of films make: they fall in love with their villain. He's so scary and evil, faceless and effective, completely psychotic with just a hint of intelligence. The Devil's own precious baby boy. He'll scare people! And so that is what the movie is about, the villain.

The only problem is that this particular sort of villain has been used time and time and time and time and time(x700 million) again. It's not original, and has never made a good movie. If the villain is not interesting, then the movie fails to be interesting. And guess what! This villain is a thirty-and-a-half foot drop below interesting.

I was bored throughout.

Ok, I enjoy a well made horror film but I am not above an all out gore fest now and again. This film is not a great example of a horror film. Most of the acting was sub par the two well known stars had barely more than cameos. The star of this film is American Makeup And FX they provided the SFX which were abundant and well done, mostly. Yes, we have seen this plot bled to death ( pardon the pun ) and the characters were, well, not very likable. It was enjoyable to watch each of them get jacked up. Enjoy this film for what it is, a gore fest.

I wouldn't watch such sub-par movies, but a friend gave it to me. I mean, there are a lot of aimless serial killers out there. How did you create such an empty space? The movie is really bad. Like a performance theatre. My advice is never watch.