Strippers vs Werewolves

I am a big fan of independent cinema and bought this film straight away. I was impressed by similar style films such as the Robert Englund staring Zombie Strippers but this film lacks in every way. The scene at the start of the film showing a night club has some of the worst cgi lighting effects ever put on film. The cinematography is appalling the film looks like it was shot on camcorders in a drama room of a college. In the modern day and age of dslr cameras and colour treating software this is inexcusable. The editing makes the established actors look like they are reading from scripts. The named stars of the film are in it for a few Min's probably collecting a pay cheque whilst attending a film convention. The makeup effects are cheap looking. The girl who is in shock at the killing of Martin Kemps character possibly gives the worst performance ever recorded in film. The pacing of the film is all over the place. it drags and attempts to be funny but fails miserably. So what is good about the film? The opening credits. they look great. If you want to see how a good British film in the same style is done watch Doghouse or Severance or even Lesbian Vampire Killers. Black and Blue films could be the saviour of British horror but if the upcoming films are as bad as this they will become Britain's answer to Full Moon.

More like a London gangster film than a horror movie. 'Underworld' gave us Dominatrixes vs. Werewolves presented rather solemnly. Here we get dirtier talk (naturally), brighter colours, frenetic pacing (including lot of flashy burst-wipes), sixties-style split screen, and a sense of fun.

It does rather go on, and strippers dressed as schoolgirls are a poor substitute for Kate Beckinsale in PVC. But the cast is game and for those of us with fond memories of Sarah Douglas as the evil Ursa in 'Superman III' it's good to see her back playing the film's resident Queen Bee.

This movie stinks on so many levels that you will be aghast at how it got made...

First the plot is so childish that I thought I was watching an episode of those creepy Chuckle Brothers with boobs and arse thrown in for good measure...

Next was the acting, considering that these actors were not complete amateurs and some have played some really good roles in both TV and film it was pitiful to see them floundering around in this film like kids in a school play with all the lack of context and amateurish line delivery of an 8 year old...

One of the things that makes good comedy is getting the timing right, one of the things about great comedy is getting the timing perfect, this film managed to deliver its gags (if you can call such ridiculous schoolboy humour gags) without any timing at all and the gags were too childish to be funny to adults and too filled with sexual meaning for kids to get them so I wonder who the target audience was supposed to be?

The effects were ridiculous, the script was ridiculous, the acting was well below par for those who took part, the direction was the only joke in this film (Except the joke at the paying audiences expense), the split screen cinematography was just bloody annoying and as for the trendy comic book images flashed up in place of action well the less said about that the better...

All in all this film failed both as a comedy, it certainly failed as a horror, in fact the only thing it succeeded in was as a documentary on how not to make a film...

I have just donated my time to something... A movie well I don't know that you could call it that... It was more like a 9 year old's fantasy. Not funny at all just embarrassing. I can't not put the word film in with the movie. I am sure the actors did their stuff well. I can't think of anyone who would have come out of this movie with any credibility. Dusk till Dawn its not. Buy some paint and watch it dry it's much, much more entertaining. The script is lame. There could have been some mileage in this piece. Maybe it ran out of budget. even the effects, bits of limbs, blood gore are like some one made them in school art class. They were neither realistic or silly enough to be funny. I am sure someone had fun when they made it. Its just the audience won't.

Well, the title of this film might lead you to think that this is either really cool in a postmodern ironic sort of way or truly dire. It's worth watching just so you can make your mind up.

For me, it almost worked. Although some of the acting is poor, there are some good performances in here: Martin Compston (Red Road, Sweet 16, True North) is particularly good. Ali Bastian (Hollyoaks), Sarah Douglas (Superman), Charlie Bond (GBH) and Steven Berkoff (Clockwork Orange and about 100 things since) are all worth watching.

The soundtrack is spectacular: 20 original tracks with an 80s vibe from Sodajerker. That's not a Swedish band, it's a pair of guys from Liverpool whose work deserves to be in something more mainstream that this.

The plot actually makes sense, if you can follow it. A stripper manages to kill a werewolf with a silver fountain pen. His mates want revenge. Her colleagues put up a fight. Obviously there's a bit more to it than that.

The technical side is quite good, even though the pacing is all wrong. There's blood, nudity, some good lines. Above all it's very British. Reminded me of Shaun of the Dead. Not quite as good overall. But if it had been produced properly it would not have been far off.

And that title is brilliant.