Killer Bitch

The flimsy premise of the film is that you must kill five people or have your family and loved ones murdered. Ten minutes into this film you'll be perfectly willing to murder the entire cast.

Crappy cockney misogynists and sad silicone titted "glamour models" arse about for an hour and a half in an amateur home movie that should/could really have been shot on a camera phone. Not even the dubious pleasure of seeing horrid wrinkly pornographer Ben Dover stabbed to death is enough to make this dire piece of dross worth watching.

If you downloaded this movie illegally you've wasted your time. If you paid to watch it or, worse still, bought the DVD, you should really shoot yourself.

It's THAT bad.

This is like someone going around with a cine camera filming famous London lowlifes, porn stars and Z-list actors. The plot is non-existent. The "famous" rape scene is absolutely ridiculous. To rape someone, you have to have removed their underwear first! I wouldn't mind if the gore was realistic. It is actually laughable in the extreme. Don't insult your intelligence by sitting through this. Cass Pennant is not a professional actor and he gives the "best of a bad lot" performance of anyone in the film. I am assuming this film had a budget of around 50p. That's what it looks like to me. You'd do better yourself on YouTube !

This took me back around 40 years to the British sexploitation boom. In fact this is better directed, by someone with a good feel for an eye-catching location. The "performances", however, are every bit as bad as the old days. The large cast seems to comprise hardly any pro actors. Instead they're former crims, boxers and porn models. ("Ben Dover", not listed here, is in an early sequence, having genuine sex that was then pruned for an "18" certificate). The players become very boring to watch, especially as there is no plot, just a succession of comic killings. It should also be mentioned that the "story" makes even less sense than perhaps originally intended because Alex Reid walked off the film after only a couple of his scenes had been shot. Apparently his then wife, Katie Price, wanted no association with a film publicised by the News of the World as "rape porn". (In fact Reid is not involved in any rape scene). Reid was replaced by several hard men including Robin Reid (no relation). Although "Killer Bitch" was barely released and has been vilified by the few who saw it, director Liam Galvin reunited most of his cast for "Mob Handed", now in production.

Having seen near enough every micro budget Brit crime film going within the past twenty years, i found Killer Bitch (or Killer Babe for its original title) to be the most entertaining, bar none. Most of them were insincere. faux-Hollywood Shi'ite in my honest opinion and Killer Bitch threw me back with its rawness and don't give a damn attitude.

It made me believe again that there was still fun to be had in the commercial British film. I sincerely wish more British filmmakers would take inspiration and stop waiting around for a seven figure budget and get off their seats and just make something or tell a story for the pure love of it.

Liam Galvin's unpretentious exploitation debut has is faults, definitely. There is no getting around facts such as the story being just a straight jacket to hold the insanity in, that no one starring is a 'professional' actor, impoverished production values and that is was shot on cheap camera equipment.

But anyone familiar with the film industry will understand that more money means less freedom. This is because it is run by gentrified carnies, fear of every medium not film, and fallible means of measuring revenue and audience approval.

Compare Killer Bitch to something like The Hooligan Wars, a lesser known film by the White Collar Hooligan guys. Better camera equipment, actors, yet boring as all hell. This was because it had to stay within genre, within a formula, to secure the amount of revenue desired by the filmmakers. I wouldn't put it pass the guys at Press on Features that their output exists more to fatten the portfolio of those involved than to be anything considered entertainment.

Killer Bitch has none of these problems. It is a film that was manufactured to be an after pub crawl screening. Other efforts attributed to this kind of lad audience have more on their mind, attempting to have a message or ponder or some other don't care at all, then balls it up because they get split personality disorder and can't decide whether to be genre or drama, and there IS a difference people.

Killer Bitch is straight genre. Exploitation. Unlike such hipster wastes of space like Zombie Hunter or Hell Ride, this film is the real deal. Genuinely offensive and somewhat misguided in places, however also intentionally funny in others and cut together with a machine gun pace, there is no reason other than prudishness that can explain why someone would be 'bored' by this film or find it a waste of people's time. It does the job it was conceived to do; coo the inebriated.

Killer Bitch is not a film for everyone. But it is film that knows what it is and displays so much personality, on and off screen that it stands out as an oasis in an otherwise dry and baron wasteland of write off tax revenue tarted up as film productions. Blame that war criminal (you know the one) for the craptitude of the UK film industry as well as the shysters that operate within it; not blue moon bursts of eccentricity such as this film.

Absurd, hilarious, outrageous, explicit and inept, both intentionally and un, if such productions like Killer Bitch are the future of British independent commercial film, i, for one, will not be complaining.

No acting talent, awful writing and mediocre technical skills

I've filmed better stuff on a smartphone with my three dogs.