Noah's Shark

... you probably guessed it, but here goes: the poster and the title. There is almost no redeeming factor in this. Even if you are into the silliness of it all (which let's be honest you absolutely have to be, otherwise do not even bother), the movie does take itself way too serious - for it's own good.

And for the viewers good too. Because this could have been just a silly movie based on a silly premise/pun. I don't have to mention that the CGI is as bad as you probably imagine it will be. The acting is decent at best and only at times. Maybe you can be forgiving, but it is quite unlikely. So enjoy the poster and do not waste your time on this - others already did that for you.

I turned it off after less than 5 minutes. Wow...how can something this bad be produced? The acting by the priest is beyond pathetic.

Please don't waste your time.

The story is mildly interesting, but the amateurish production design makes this a movie that could have maybe been "So Bad It's Good" just plain bad.

My god i cannot start to say how bad that movie was.... why even bother producing such a bad bad bad movie with hyper bad FX zero talent so called actors.

Avoid at all cost.

I am so disappointed in this. I came in with low expectations and somehow they were not only not met, but missed so poorly i can't put it into words. The lead actor, curly hair big nose, was dismal. He had no business being anywhere near a movie. Not acting, writing, editing, directing, even seeing a movie or a commercial for one on TV. I hated him in Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse, which was WAY BETTER THAN THIS! And I still hate him. Nobody wants to act. The woman who was the "arms dealer" or whatever can't deliver a line without laughing or do anything for that matter without cracking a smile. The budget, if there was one, couldn't have been higher than a KFC family meal and a fifth of Jack Daniels. This, is without a doubt, the worst film ever. Not just the worst in the PCU (Polonia Cinematic Universe), but the worst film to ever disgrace a screen.