Bitch Slap

Bitch Slap sees a gang of scantily clad ladies journey into the desert in an attempt to steal 200 million dollars worth of diamonds. If you're a fan of trashy exploitation flicks and love guns, cleavage, and women getting out of cars in slow-motion, then Bitch Slap was made with you in mind. It's fun, it's hyperactive, and it's a film that does not disappoint. Never promising to be more than it is, it succeeds in being more fun and funnier than one would expect. It's the kind of film where they take a break from the plot in order for the women to just pour water over each other. Many memorable scenes take place as a ridiculous but engaging plot unravels. I hope we can see more films like Bitch Slap over the next decade.

Starts off like a cheap porn movie, but turns out as quite a good action movie, Tarantino style. Lots of blood and violence. A lot of nice (mean but also in a good way) and nude girls. A story that rather falls in the background by what you get to see. Funny special effects that are not all that bad and fit the movie quite well. Lots of nice girls. Cat fights among hot girls. More girls, and yeah well, naked girls. This movie lives up to its title "bitch slap" rules this movie. And it has got Hercules, Kevin Sorbo in it. All in all if you are bored and got 1 1/2 hours to kill, give this movie a go but don't expect an A movie, more of a good B movie.

Bitchslap is a young unpretentious movie, no big names, no big budget. It has a story to tell, which involves six lovely breasts, and it tells its story with tightly focused exuberance, excitement, and a certain sense of wonder. There's none of that old Hollywood cynicism, no gratuitous manipulation of the viewer, no wandering, no missteps.

We're promised three lovely ladies who alternately fondle or beat the daylight out of each other and every passing male, and we get that. In loving slow motion, with dramatic explosions, bullets, and music, gallons of water, blood, and gasoline, and dialog that takes cinematic intellectualism out into the back yard and beats it to a pulp with a heavy shovel.

You can watch any movie on many levels. Don't go into this one expecting a complex plot, deep characterization, or philosophical questions. It's a cartoon based around breasts that does not demean women. This by itself should satisfy many of us. However, it is an intellectual movie in some ways, especially in its treatment of gender.

The tight focus and almost perfect presentation makes me think the team behind this really enjoyed making the movie and will give us more of the same, probably more sophisticated and ambitious, in the future.

Since ratings and reviews of "Bitch Slap" are apparently dependent on just how much or how little one enjoys this sort of thing, what this viewer must say right up front is that he tends towards the former camp. The problem there is that while it is enjoyable enough, it's not entirely satisfying. Yeah, it does come across as a wish fulfilment fantasy for horny guys everywhere, and is basically silly, over the top, attitude driven, highly stylized (perhaps TOO stylized), violent, leering exploitation fare meant to be an ode to the kind of tough movie gals whom we see in clips during the opening credits. But, unfortunately, it doesn't really go far enough; it's likely not depraved enough or just not exploitative enough to suit some of its audience (For one thing, while there is sex, there just ain't that much nudity, folks.). The story, such as it is, features three stunning young ladies united in their scheme to get their hands on some jewels being held by an underworld figure. They often spend as much time fighting with each other as they do working towards their goal. The review written by one of my associates at this web site is right on the money when describing this movie as an almost 110 minute long cat fight. The ladies are also, commendably enough, shot from lots of fetishistic angles and it does indeed seem as if the filmmakers would rather focus exclusively on the breasts of the actresses instead of their faces. The dialogue is often hilarious yet has an obvious self-conscious air about it; the writers are trying too hard to come up with what they clearly believe to be instantly quotable raunchy lines. It also takes a cue from "Pulp Fiction" as it constantly moves back and forth in time in order to create a series of events that the viewer has to put in the right order to understand just where all of these characters are coming from. The soundtrack is loud, and so is the volume on a lot of the performers. One of the big twists in the end is probably something most people could figure out. The actors, while not necessarily all "good", are fun. Erin Cummings is Hel, the "smart" one / mastermind, America Olivo (chewing the scenery and then throwing it up again) the pill popping wildcat Camero, and Julia Voth is Trixie, the "nice" one. Cameos include TV stars Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, Renee O'Connor, and Michael Hurst, as well as stunt coordinator Zoe Bell who'd shot to fame in Tarantino's "Death Proof". At the least, "Bitch Slap" does have enough crazy energy to keep it from ever getting what I would consider boring. It does have its moments. Six out of 10.

What, you say? You didn't know Robocop was a satire? Hmm, then you might want to skip Beyotch Slap (note: thanks, IMDb's profanity filter). Much in the tradition of the brilliant cinematic satirist Paul Veerhoven who did Robocop and Starship Troopers, Beyotch Slap is a cheeky, sarcastic jab at the hyper violence genre with a poignant message just below the surface.

The story unfolds in a teasing, non-linear way, beginning with an apocalyptic aftermath and then jumping back a few hours where most of the story takes place but frequent jumps to the weeks and months prior. That is, nothing is spelled out, and it's almost 3/4 through the movie before you realize why these 3 buxom babes are out in the middle of the desert with dead bodies piling up.

Beyond the twisty mystery, racy plot, witty dialogue ("Lick my love pump!"), cool action scenes, great cat fights (complete with a screeching cat sound effect or two when one of the ladies happens to get punched in the fun bun), what really makes this film is the fantastic dynamic between the 3 very different personalities of our protagonists and the excellent way each of the 3 leading ladies brings her character to life. There is the leader "Hel" who is the brains of the bunch, "Camaro" who is the muscle as well as sheer psycho element, and then there's "Trix" who is the ditzy tagalong who, despite being a sultry hot stripper, has the air of being someone who still believes in the Easter bunny.

Throw the 3 together along with a couple of awesome criminal characters, a few buckets of blood, a bunch of unapologetically gratuitous cleavage shots and a slow motion water fight, and of course the aforementioned biting satire of every chixploitation flick from the 70s, and you've got one bona fide cinematic work of art. I'm not even being sarcastic when I say that. If you grasp the tongue in cheek nature of this film, you'll find yourself very impressed and thoroughly satisfied at this gem of a movie.

I'm shocked that IMDb has rated this so low (4.5 as of the time I'm writing this), and my only guess is that the people rating this movie so low are the same people who think Spinal Tap is a real band.