Allan Quatermain et les Mines du roi Salomon

Based on H. Rider Haggard's novel, King Solomon's stars Richard Chamberlain as adventurer Allan Quatermain, who is enlisted by blonde babe Jesse Huston (Sharon Stone) to help find her father, who has gone missing while searching for the fables mines of King Solomon. Herbert Lom plays Nazi Colonel Bockner, who, with the help of wicked Turk Dogati (John Rhys Davis, sending up his own role in Raiders of the Lost Ark), also hopes to locate the legendary treasure.

When I first saw this film (back in the '80s at my local Cannon flea-pit), I thought it was abominable, a shoddy Indiana Jones clone thrown together in a hurry to make a quick buck. I now realise my mistake: instead of being a cheap rip-off, it is in fact a sly send-up that mercilessly mocks the conventions of the genre, which explains the ridiculously hokey script, the incredibly far-fetched action scenes, the cruddy effects, and the camp performances from a cast who are obviously in on the joke. When viewed as such, one's enjoyment of the film is greatly enhanced.

Director J.Lee Thompson certainly keeps the bonkers action moving along at a decent lick, with a silly sequence aboard a speeding (NOT!) train, a ridiculous scene that has hero Quatermain hanging onto the wing of a biplane piloted by a petrified Jesse, a tribe that lives upside-down in the jungle, a hilarious moment involving a cannibal tribe's massive cooking pot, and a really unconvincing giant spider attack. The film also boasts a surprisingly decent score from Jerry Goldsmith, who effectively mimics John Williams' famous Raiders theme, and benefits throughout from the appealing sight of the pre-fame Stone in tight shorts (that get shorter and shorter as the movie progresses).

Please refrain to take this movie seriously. I repeat: please refrain to take this movie seriously. Any person who is unable to watch a movie without taking it seriously is advised to go watch something else. This one here was meant to be ridiculous. And if it was not, then it is a fine piece of unintentional comedy.

I have seen this movie and I think it is a great spoof. I think we need a little clean humor in this industry of movie making. The lines are great and why not have a little fun with it? Sharin Stone may have been starting out but hey, you have to start somewhere and why not do it with a little fun. I think making the movie must have been hilarious. Granted Indiana Jones has some classic lines and Harrison Ford pulls it off most excellently, there are still some great jokes in the movie. Give the producers a break. They probably had to start out somewhere as well. Take the movie for the comedy and silly acting for what it is: entertainment, because, after all the is what it is all about.

Review summary: Mostly obvious knock-off of INDIANA JONES, but functions more as an entertaining parody.

I've heard many bad reviews on this film. They all say "Indiana Jones rip-off" or "Worst movie ever". But to me, this is actually entertaining, and it's silly fun indeed. The film is usually called a rip-off because they see some elements they also saw in the Indy flicks. Truth be told, this has more in kin with the Lucas/Spielberg classic than H. Rider Haggard's classic adventure novel. But seeing the film, it actually has a lot of fun with itself. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously, and I agreed to the bargain. Richard Chamberlain is not that heroic as Indy, but he throws in a lot of jokes to make viewers crack a smile. Sharon Stone shouts, complains, whines in the entire journey, but what would you expect on a big-screen debut. Herbert Lom, as I see it, is being more of funny than sinister intentionally. Same goes for John Rhys-Davies, but he looks more villainous. But it wasn't all parody and humor. "King Solomon's Mines" is also action-packed. Perhaps one of the real downer in the action department are the special effects (terrible process shots!) and stunts (the most obvious stunt doubles ever!!). Still, we have crocodiles, tribesmen, Nazis and exploding caves of lava.

Perhaps it's my love for old-fashioned adventure that made me like this silly, mostly campy adventure, but I couldn't deny the guilty pleasure I had with it. Overall, this is actually functions as an enjoyable tongue-in-cheek adventure flick, but make sure you leave any pretense of common sense at the door. It's stupid fun.

Rating: *** out of 5.

A long time ago, I was introduced as an "outsider" to a group of boys who would get together once a month to have a "Cheese Fest" of real bad movies. We watched three movies, and laughed until we cried. When it was over, I shyly suggested a movie called "King Solomon's Mines". They had never heard of the film, or hadn't seen it yet. This was my opening to be "cool" with the gang.

At the next gathering, I came over with a VHS copy I rented from a store. We watched it, and had to stop the movie several times because we were laughing so hard! We all agreed that this was the best worst movie we had ever seen! About two days later, my front door bell rang, and it was the boys there to give me a gift! I had been "accepted" into their gang! Many nights of "Cheese Fests" followed, but none were as successful as the night we watched "King Solomon's Mines"! The gift, by the way, was the very VHS copy of "KSM" (which we pronounce; "Chaos, Mmm") I had rented! I still have it to this day, and have shown it to many friends who thank me every time while wiping away a tear.