Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.
- Director
- Writers
- Stars
Jess Gabor
- Sasha
- (as Jessica Gabor)
Rita Bernard-Shaw
- Ashley
- (as Rita Bernard Shaw)
Nikola Djuricko
- Igor
- (as Nikola Duricko)
Amelie Child Villiers
- Tatiana
- (as Amelie Villiers)
Jovan Savic
- Irina's Father
- (as Jovan Lole Savic)
Set Sjöstrand
- Vanya
- (as Set Sjostrand)
- Director
- Writers
- All cast & crew
- Production, box office & more at IMDbPro
Featured reviews
The first 20-25 minutes are pretty cheesy/over-the-top setting up the motivation for the plot and getting Bert & his dad into position. But it actually gets fairly watchable after Irina shows up. It's by no means going to win any awards, but if you're a fan of BK & enjoyed this story from his set, you'll probably enjoy watching this enough to not shut it off.
I was pretty dubious on how BK was going to be as an actor, but I was pleasantly surprised once the story left LA. It's a testament to the caliber of talent Mark Hamill that he was able to raise whatever abilities BK came to the table with to a place where you actually feel invested during their scenes.
The ending is also surprisingly engaging and fitting.
I was pretty dubious on how BK was going to be as an actor, but I was pleasantly surprised once the story left LA. It's a testament to the caliber of talent Mark Hamill that he was able to raise whatever abilities BK came to the table with to a place where you actually feel invested during their scenes.
The ending is also surprisingly engaging and fitting.
The movie itself was pretty funny for the most part. I would also agree that it was a little slow at times too. Burt performing on-stage is truly authentic and amazingly funny. For a 1st time actor, I thought he did really well. Some have rated this movie with low scores forgetting that this is a stand-up comedian acting in a major motion picture about his life and never experiencing the acting role before. If you hated this movie and decided to post negative remarks and ratings, I cannot relate. I have read some of these negative reviews and it is clear that some people believe that they themselves are Siskle & Ebert themselves. The movie is funny, was it the best comedy I have ever seen NO. But to bash a movie just because it wasn't your cup of tea is an insult to reviews as a whole. When I dislike something, I simply choose to remember the morales my mother and father taught me as a young child. I keep my opinions and negative thoughts to myself. Go see the movie, it's pretty funny.
Full disclosure, I am russian. Bert is very funny guy and he should stick to comedy. His machine routine was funny enough but it didn't translate well to movie. His story actual story is quite dark, and it goes through very bad time in Russia, but he makes a good humor story of this mess in his standup. Where he makes a funny standup, the movie falls well short of his act. Romanian setting with western actors speaking horrible, bearly understandible Russian, with even worse translation; was the funniest part of the movie for me. Over the top caricature characters can only take movie so far, it needs a good script.
Bert Kreischer gets a lot of hate and a part of me would've loved to see him come out with a terrific film to shut all his haters up. Unfortunately that was not the case. This film was not a lot of fun to watch at all.
Kreischer has no comedic timing and no sense of when to let a joke breathe. Comedy isn't easy and people only think it is because the best make it look so effortless. The biggest mistake they made in this film though was casting Mark Hamill, who is also painfully unfunny, giving Bert no one to play off. Hamill is trying so hard in every scene he's in, but he's not a funny guy and doesn't have any charisma.
So all you're left with is the story, and the story gets old pretty fast. This film is only 112 minutes but it feels much, much longer than that. The concept might work in a 13 minute stand-up clip, but stretched out to this length it becomes pretty tedious. 4/10.
Kreischer has no comedic timing and no sense of when to let a joke breathe. Comedy isn't easy and people only think it is because the best make it look so effortless. The biggest mistake they made in this film though was casting Mark Hamill, who is also painfully unfunny, giving Bert no one to play off. Hamill is trying so hard in every scene he's in, but he's not a funny guy and doesn't have any charisma.
So all you're left with is the story, and the story gets old pretty fast. This film is only 112 minutes but it feels much, much longer than that. The concept might work in a 13 minute stand-up clip, but stretched out to this length it becomes pretty tedious. 4/10.
I've never heard of Bert Kreischer so clearly I'm not a fan of his comedy, but nor can I hate it, and as such, the same goes for this film. The Machine was loud, obnoxious and overbearing, and nothing about this comedy should've worked, but it played well to its strengths, and ended up being much more entertaining than it should've been. The casting - especially the villains, was over the top, but it worked even though it shouldn't have, just like Kreischer and Mark Hamill shouldn't have worked, but it did, mostly from their hilarious dialogue and antics. It's not the greatest comedy out there, but it's also not the worst, and we did have a bunch of laugh out loud moments, so that's a good sign. This machine works best with lots of high-octane fluids and with your gears in neutral. It's dumb fun and a decent one-time watch, especially with all the slim pickings out there.
Did you know
- TriviaBert's real life wife LeeAnn Kreischer can be seen near the start of the film, as the mom at the Sweet 16 party who Bert does not get along with.
- GoofsAfter getting shot twice in the chest, Irina falls off the train, only to get reunited with Bert in Igor's village. She also has a piece of wood through her leg that Bert proceeds to extract. However, she seems to have no problem walking or even fighting when she next meets her brother Alexei.
- Crazy creditsWhile the closing credits roll, a commercial plays starring Bert and his father for Kreischer Karpets.
- ConnectionsReferenced in Brad Tries Podcasting: Fast X/Kandahar/Martyrs (2023)
- SoundtracksTorn
Written by Scott Cutler, Anne Preven and Phil Thornalley
Performed by Scott Stapp
Scott Stapp appears courtesy of Napalm Records
- How long is The Machine?Powered by Alexa
Details
Box office
- Budget
- $20,000,000 (estimated)
- Gross US & Canada
- $10,458,331
- Opening weekend US & Canada
- $5,000,545
- May 28, 2023
- Gross worldwide
- $10,664,328
- Runtime1 hour 52 minutes
- Color
- Sound mix
- Aspect ratio
- 2.35 : 1
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