L'antre de l'araignée

I have a guilty pleasure for terrible, but fun horror films. This doesn't fit that as well as some films, but it was pretty enjoyable. There was tones of cheesy lines, ridiculous deaths, a totally not suspicious spider shaped cave. Is this film good? No. Will you have fun? Probably!

The spider cultists are amazingly bad, with spider web bags over their heads. But don't worry they some how donate organs to the locals. The spider venom juicing organs not thought about at all. It's all good. It's like a big operation with more than one group involved.

I'm sure it's a perfectly legit business. Oh and the cultist have matching nails too. It's glorious.

In the Spider's Web (2007)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A group of American friends are backpacking through a jungle in India when one of them are bitten by a spider. They rush her to a village where an American doctor (Lance Henriksen) tries to save her but it turns out that the doc might have more devilish plans. Soon the Americans are dying one by one due to what appears to be a spider cult as well as the strange brother of the doctor who just happens to be wearing a bag over his face. Wonder what's wrong with him? This made-for-TV flick isn't the worst creature feature out there but at the same time it's pretty poor on so many levels. I will at least give the filmmakers credit for at least trying to mix up various genres but in the end all of the story lines are a mess and one can't help but become bored and frustrated with the film before we even hit the half-way mark. I think the biggest problem are the characters. I found each and everyone of them to be extremely annoying as each of them just seemed to be trying to be the dumbest of the bunch. There's one who demands going into a creepy lair where the spiders are and yet she seems shocked when she discovers that there are spiders in this cave. Hearing her scream every few seconds just got on my nerves and I'd be willing to bet that many will be hitting their mute buttons. Another problem is an incredibly bad, flirtatious thing going on between a couple of the characters. Things aren't any better with mad scientist Henrikson who I had a hard time understanding in several of the scenes. I'm not sure if it was just poor recording or the actors voice but at times I couldn't understand a word he was saying. Perhaps the actor was doing this on purpose so we wouldn't have to hear poor dialogue? Either way, the actor is easily just cashing a paycheck and delivering very little energy. None of the other actors really stand out either but you somewhat expect that from a film like this. The special effects aren't too bad and the majority of the CGI spiders look OK, if nothing overly great. Fans of the genre might want to check this out if they desire to see every film of its type but others should just save time and stay clear.

In India, the backpackers American friends Gina (Emma Catherwood), John (Cian Barry), Stacy (Lisa Livingstone), Geraldine (Jane Perry) and Phil (Michael Smiley) hike in the woods with their guide Brian (Mike Rogers). When Geraldine is bitten by a poisonous spider, the group decides to seek an American doctor that lives in the jungle in a tribe. Dr. Lecorpus (Lance Henriksen) treats the girl and while Gina, John and Phil return to the village in the civilization, Brian and Stacy stay with the native. They decide to visit a temple in the forest while waiting for the recovering of Stacey; however, they find a dark secret about the evil Dr. Lecorpus.

"In the Spider's Web" is a silly, but very entertaining adventure. It is funny to see the short clothes that Gina wears in the jungle, very adequate for a place with vegetation, mosquitoes, bugs and spiders; or to discover that spider's web is combustible, and a torch provokes fire with explosion; or that a person should shout in a cave while chased by men armed with daggers. But in the end, this movie was better than I expected and I liked it. My vote is five.

Title (Brazil): "Aranhas Assassinas" ("Assassin Spiders")

Every year around Halloween, my kids decorate our front yard and postal box with enormous cobwebs. I just want to say the woolen webs and ridiculous fake plastic spiders they use look a lot more realistic and frightening than the special effects used in this movie.

Spiders are scary creatures to many people, but truly good spider horror movies are rare. My expectations for "In the Spider's Web" were not set very high, but since it was released in the "Maneater" series, I was at least hoping for a fun and undemanding creature feature. Other titles under this label were gory and entertaining (like "Croc", "Eye of the Beast", "The Hive", "The Sea Beast", ...) and that's all I wanted from this one as well. Alas, the only suitable words to describe "In the Spider's Web" are dumb, tame, boring, and unmemorable.

Lance Henriksen is the type of actor who adapts himself to the film he's starring in. If the script is good, Henriksen can easily give a great performance. If the script is lousy, like the case here, Lance is also visibly uninterested. He stars as a supposedly genius doctor/scientist, specialized in spider venoms and living amongst a secluded tribe deep in the Indian jungle. When members of an expedition seek his help because one of them got bitten by a dangerous spider, it quickly becomes obvious Doctor Lance isn't very kosher.

It's the type of bad B-movie where nothing makes any sense. Characters that are presumed dead reappear out of the blue, the police are beyond incompetent, the supposed heroes are people you couldn't care less about, etc. The special effects are pathetic. Authentic big spiders crawl over the ground, but as soon as the fake specimen attack people, or capture and roll them in their webs, it's pure amateurism. Nothing to recommend here, it's not even bad enough to watch in a fun-with-friends kind of way.

Take a pretty run-of-the-mill film, add Lance Henriksen in - at least - a prominent role and it instantly elevates it to at least 'watchable' status. In case you hadn't guessed by the title, 'In the Spider's Web' is about a team of, er, I don't know what they were doing, but it doesn't matter, let's say they're scientists, or something. Anyway, a diverse team of spider-fodder are mooching around a north Indian jungle when one of them gets bitten by a spider. They take her to a nearby village where they soon discover that the creepy-crawlies aren't the only thing they have to worry about.

There are a few establishing shot here and there to denote that at least the production went to a real life jungle to get some of the footage. Otherwise, they seem to save a lot of money by putting a few plant pots around a sound stage and let the audience do their best to believe that the actors are really deep in a jungle. Apart from that, the special effects aren't that bad. The spiders are - for the most part - real (with the possible exception of the arachnid 'crowd scenes') and the worst effects in the film were when a couple of characters fell down a long drop and you could almost see the green screen behind them.

If you're already not a fan of spiders (who is?) then you'll find some of the scenes quite creepy and did I mention Lance Henriksen is in it? Sometimes he's good and sometimes he's bad. In this film he has long nails on one hand and a brother who walks around wearing a sack on his head making him look like a cross between the elephant man and an 'engineer' from the 'Alien/Prometheus' franchise. I'll let you guess if Henriksen's motives are pure here - either way, he steals every scene.

It's hardly a classic, but it's a decent enough little watch if you're in the mood for some sort of cheesy B-movie and/or you're a fan of Lance Henriksen which crosses 'Arachnophobia' with 'Temple of Doom.'